JJ's POV:
JJ sighed, as she couldn't stop her eyes from glancing at Morgan. She wished that she could make this tension that has come between them disappear but she had a feeling that it wouldn't be that easy. The wall that they had built to keep personal separate from professional has been brought down and if she was honest with herself she knew that something like this could happen. She looked out the window and wondered about how life would've been so different if her and Morgan had gotten together all those years ago but then she realized that they would probably still be here. Back then she wasn't looking for anything serious and Morgan was having so much fun being a one night stand kind of man that she knew nothing would've come if they had acted on the attraction they shared before. It's funny when she thinks about this, because it's like fate decided 'you know what, JJ, Morgan, I think you two should get together, so I'm going to ruin your marriage and make you two sleep together.'
JJ sighed, exasperated at where her thoughts were going and she wished she could just clear her mind and focus on the case. She shook her head trying to listen to Hotch but her mind resisted and instead decided to remind her of what Morgan and her shared. Apparently she should've tried harder as Hotch touched her shoulder to try and get her attention, "JJ, are you okay? You're not here with us." The look of concern in his eyes let JJ know that she was out of sorts a lot more than she thought she was. She could feel everyone's eyes on her but there was only one that made her want to squirm in her seat. She fought the urge to glance in his direction as she nodded to Hotch to assure him that she was okay. When it seemed that it was enough and he continued on to discuss the logistics of the case JJ didn't fight the urge any longer and glanced at Derek. She felt a shiver when she returned his stare and she wondered if he could see through her and read her thoughts. It was frightening and exhilarating to feel like that he was looking right into her soul.
JJ broke the stare feeling herself crumble under his intensity and the more she thought about it, the more she wasn't surprise that it was like this. Morgan completely threw himself into everything he did, whether it was catching an unsub or protecting a member of the team, Derek was relentless and intense and loving someone would not have Derek be any different. If anything he would be more intense; JJ paused her thoughts, Love? 'Where did that come from?' She had no idea what Morgan's feelings for her were. She knew that he cared about her, he would risk his life to save her but that did not intimate love. Even worst she did not know what her feelings for him were. Yes, of course, she cared about him, she in turn would risk her life for him, but love. Now that was a stretch.
She looked out the window as her thoughts pondered the possibilities of her and Derek being in love. It was possible but then again, there was nothing in their relationship that alluded to them being capable of such an emotion. Derek was a playboy and she was a mother; to get into a fledgling relationship with Derek Morgan would be a huge mistake. To get into a relationship that could last for the rest of her life might be even worst. She was scared, she wasn't foolish enough not to admit it; Derek held so much power over her and it was terrifying that he could make her fall to his whims with as little as a smirk. What if he did hurt her? What if he decided the monogamous life was not the one for him? She did not truly have anything to hold him here, to make him want to stay. JJ sighed, it was unfair, really because she did not drive him as crazy as he was driving her, he did not share her fears, he had nothing to lose.
Morgan was a strong willed man who was good-looking, charming, and respectful to women; he was a woman's dream and it wasn't hard for him to get a woman's attention, if anything it was harder for him to have a woman not notice him. It used to amuse her the amount of lady attention Derek would get, but lately, it bothered her; every time a woman would touch him too long or try to proposition him, JJ would cringe as if in pain; she couldn't name the feeling before or she was not willing to but she understood it clearly now and she couldn't hide from it. It makes her jealous the way women would faun over Derek and it kind of pissed her off that Derek did nothing about it. It was this feeling that made JJ scared, that made her wish the night they shared never happened because it made it that much harder to ignore the way she felt about Derek, the ways she feels about him. Before she could chalk it up to wanting something better for her friend, something stable, but now it was ringing in her ears; She may not know whether it is love she is feeling but the what she knew for sure was that her feelings for Derek Morgan went way beyond friendship.
Derek's POV:
Damn, he was so close to having her again in his office but he was glad that they were stopped because the more they fell into this the more dangerous it becomes; the harder it would be to stop. He wanted her so much, to the point where it could hurt and Morgan knew that if he truly cared about JJ he had better learn to control himself. But it was so hard, every time his mind flashed to what her lips felt like against his, the softness and the curves of her body and even more, the way her eyes pierced into his soul, her moans ringing in his ears. It was like she was calling to him, controlling him. He felt like a horny teenager because it was pathetic really; Derek can't remember a time when a girl had consumed his mind so completely, made him lose all the calm that he has developed over the years. JJ has undone him and if he was truthful to himself, he knew a long time ago that she would be the one to do it. That is what scared him the most about all of this; she made him feel powerless, she made the walls he put up around his heart obsolete and he could no longer hide from the feelings he use to consider a waste of time.
Morgan was a player; he could sweet talk one girl and go home with another before the night was out. He knew the ins and outs of seducing a woman but that wasn't to say that he considered women to be just some game to him but rather a way for him to escape the guarded life he lived everyday he was on the job. Women presented a chance to live life; to escape the evils of serial killers and the other horrors they have faced. They gave him a chance to look at the other side of life, the better side, but even he knew that he could not live this life forever. He wanted what his parents had found, he wanted to have a woman he could come home to and tell her that he loved her everyday and that to him was more desirable than the one night stands he had.
The thing that made this complicated was Henry, it wasn't that Derek wouldn't take care of him, it's whether JJ would be willing to have her son raised by another man. Morgan loves Henry, there was no doubt about it, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for the kid. Henry had this light in his eye that made Derek desire to have a child of his own and that feeling, no matter what he did, will not fade. It was refreshing to have a whole new outlook on life and Derek wondered if it wasn't for JJ having something like this happen in her life, would he still be the hit a different club every night and going home with a different woman the same way, while his team mates paired up and started to live the life Derek always thought he would have. Derek sighed, he wanted so much to reach out and touch JJ, claim her as his own but they went about it the wrong way, sure the dam between them was broken but they are so many things that they have to take into consideration now.
Would JJ even want to pursue a life with him, would she be willing to risk her heart and take a chance. He knew that he would never do anything to hurt her and if she were to give him a chance, he would not take that for granted, he would do what he could to prove to her how much he loves… wait, wait, love? Where did that come from? Did he love her? Could they be in love? Attracted, sure, that was a definite. Love though? That was something else completely, that was a whole different animal. But it was possible and Derek could find it easy to love JJ. He probably already did if he was honest with himself, and that night was just them acting on feelings that was always there between them. Derek paused, he wasn't sure if JJ felt the same way he did and that was a dangerous thing to think about. What if she did not feel the same? What if she wanted nothing to do with him? Could he risk his heart? He wasn't so sure. Derek sighed again as he glanced in JJ's direction. This had to be resolved soon cause he was killing himself thinking about this and he isn't sure he could handle this forever.
