Hey everyone! I know I have been beyond delinquent in updating. My husband and I took a trip abroad and were internet-less for a while, and then I had to get a minor surgical procedure. But I'm back now and feeling inspired! I'm going to keep going with this story for a bit and I'm considering starting another AU fic, perhaps. Hopefully you all are still interested in this piece…. Enjoy some double sided jealousy in this chapter! Thanks for hanging with me.
It was like they had a secret; a monstrous, shimmering secret. Nick and Jess had agreed to simplify their "very nearly defined" situation by keeping Schmidt and Winston out of it, at least for a while. Part of Nick wanted to scream his allegiance to Jess from the rooftops; he was so damn proud to be able to claim her, but the thought of sex advice from Schmidt and irritatingly knowing smiles from Winston kept him quiet.
Only Winston knew Nick had chased after Jess in the first place, so when he grilled him the day after the wedding, Nick just said he and Jess had come to an understanding that they'd always be friends. He told Winston they'd traded hugs and were on good terms, and had to hide his face from the pitying look in Winston's eyes. Someone must have filled Schmidt in too, because for the last few days, both guys had treated Nick with deference and given him a wide berth.
Which was probably good, because Nick could barely contain his glee, and if they guys got too close, they'd notice. Since the wedding, every time he locked eyes with Jess, hell, every time she came around a corner, Nick's heart started to race and time seemed to still. They'd shared a few glorious nights together since their little jaunt off the freeway, but they were careful not to overdo it. They didn't want anyone to find out, plus, it was still new; they didn't want whatever this was to burn out.
On this particular Friday, Nick had a blissful night off from the bar and Jess was curled up on the couch reading the Coolidge Middle School student handbook for probably the 30th time. Winston was off with Daisy, but Schmidt was pacing the living room, fretting over Cece versus Elizabeth.
"Six days have expired! Six out of the seven days I've been given to make this impossible decision!" Schmidt railed. "If I don't figure this out by breakfast on Sunday, I'll lose them both. God, what a nightmare this is! I made a spreadsheet with a complex pro-con algorithm, ranking everything from physical beauty to culinary know-how to pop culture aptitude. I even factored in 'je ne sais crois!' And you know what? Both women tied…. to the decimal point!" Schmidt collapsed on the couch dramatically, knocking Jess' handbook to the floor on his descent.
"Schmidt," Jess said, exasperated, as she reached down to retrieve her booklet. "You need to quit obsessing over Excel files and stuff-on-paper and just figure out who you want to be with."
"Oh is that all I need to do?" Schmidt snarked. "I hadn't thought of that! I just need to figure out who I want to be with, that's all!" Schmidt gave Jess a dirty look. "Perfectly put Jessica, the loft genius award goes to you."
"Shut-up Schmidt, stop acting like such an ass," Nick growled. "Jess is right. Quit being a baby and make a decision."
Schmidt sighed and softened. "I know, you're both right," he mumbled. "Sorry Jess."
"No worries my friend," Jess said breezily, paging through her book again, a content smile on her face.
"It's just, I really don't know what to do. How do I choose?"
"Well break it down buddy, what about each person can't you live without?" Nick asked.
Schmidt looked a little confused. "Can you give me some examples?"
"Ok," Nick said, thinking. "Like, does one of them make you want to be a better person, or is one of them exceptionally kind and thoughtful? Does one woman make you short of breath when she walks in a room or do you wake up every day excited to see how she views the world on that particular morning?" Nick trailed off, feeling two pairs of eyes on him. "You know, stuff like that," he finished lamely.
"Hmm, that's interesting. Ok, I guess I need a new document," Schmidt said, opening his laptop.
Nick, embarrassed, stood up and mumbled something about the bathroom. When he reached its sweet refuge, he let the faucet run for a second and splashed some cold water on his face.
"Get a hold of yourself Miller," he whispered to his reflection. "Don't freak her out." He laughed at his half-crazed face in the mirror, turned the water off and started for the couch.
"—I don't know Schmidt, I just don't—"
"Just think about it Jess," Schmidt was saying, "I mean, he's a major client, so he's probably rolling in it. Smart guy too; went to Stanford and got his MBA from Georgetown. He saw that one picture on my desk; you know the one from last year when we went to the beach for your birthday? Anyway, he liked what he saw and he asked about you."
Nick froze, staying inside the bathroom so he wouldn't interrupt.
"Look, I know things with you and you-know-who didn't work out," Schmidt said, dropping his voice lower so Nick wouldn't hear. "But I promise, I'm looking out for you both. This guy's a catch, just saying," Schmidt turned his attention back to his laptop.
"Thanks Schmidt, but I think I'm good," Jess said quietly.
"I'll send you his LinkedIn profile later," Schmidt said distractedly. "You'll wise up."
Nick walked back to the couch stiffly, avoiding Jess' gaze. He felt stupid. What was he playing at, sneaking around with Jess when there were big, important, successful guys circling the wagon? The same old doubts he'd always felt crept in again. He could tell Jess was trying to catch his eye, but he pretended not to notice.
"Nick, how do you spell pescetarian?" Schmidt asked, eyes glued to his laptop.
"I don't know, why don't you ask one of your super Mensa co-workers or big-shot clients?" Nick snapped. He knew he was acting like a nine year old, but he didn't care.
"Nah, I'll just look it up. I'm going to go back this file up in my room. I have a couple of thumb drives that you can't access without keying in a digital code. I don't want a Ross/Rachel pro-con list situation on my hands, am I right guys?" Schmidt chuckled, disappearing inside his room.
"Nick—" Jess started, but he waved her off.
"It's ok Jess," Nick said shaking his head. "I obviously overheard your conversation with Captain Douchebag, but you don't have to explain anything. Look, maybe you and I sneaking around is stupid. Obviously, our own roommates don't think I'm good enough for you, so—"
"Oh no, I'm not listening to this song and dance again," Jess spouted, jumping to her feet, red-faced. "We're not sneaking around because people don't think we're good together, we're sneaking around because we thought it would make things easier!"
"Yeah, well, obviously it doesn't," Nick retorted. "Schmidt's guy sounds like Russell 3.0, I'm surprised you aren't game."
Jess gave Nick a very hurt look, and he felt his heart constrict painfully. "What is wrong with you Nick, why are you doing this?"
"Because, I'm a jealous idiot, ok?" Nick practically shouted. "I'm jealous of a guy I've never met who you aren't even going out with, but he seems so much better than me, that I'm jealous of him anyway!"
Jess gave Nick a bewildered look. But through the exasperation, he thought he saw the faintest trace of a smile.
"Nick that's ridiculous," she breathed.
"I know it is," Nick said wearily. "But I can't just flip a switch and turn it off," he looked up into Jess' face and bravely took her hand in his, twining her slim fingers around his own. "I'm sorry. Can we just go back in time, like an hour? And this time when Schmidt offers to set you up, I'll calmly read a magazine and toss you a wink like the cool, self-assured guy that I am?"
Jess laughed and pulled their joined hands to her heart, hugging them to her chest for a second. "Nah, I don't think we need the time warp. This way I know you care at least," she quipped.
"You have no idea Jess," Nick murmured before leaning in to kiss her lips. Not even the foggiest.
The bar was crazy busy, but for once, Nick wasn't dreading the rush. Since he and Jess were at Clyde's for fun, he didn't have worry about rowdy customers or crappy tips; he could enjoy the hubbub and crowds and the excuses they gave him to keep Jess close and whisper in her ear. There were hoards of people all around, but Nick felt like he and Jess were the only two souls on earth. It was kind of exciting being there, the bar noise swirling around them, the throng of people pressing Jess into his side.
After an hour of drinks and flirty conversation, Jess whisked off to the bathroom to freshen up and Nick felt a cold, peculiar little void take her place the second she flounced away. You've got it bad, Miller a voice in his head taunted. For the first time in his life, inner Nick didn't argue, he just shrugged.
"Well, well, well, my favorite bartender's outside of the castle, and all alone," drawled a familiar blonde. "How'd that happen?"
Nick closed his eyes for a brief moment and prayed for strength. "Hey, Allison. You caught me on my night off," Nick said. Allison wasn't exactly a regular, but she'd been popping in with friends more and more lately. Tall, attractive and ever-so-assertive, she liked to dangle not so subtle propositions in front of Nick like an angler waiting for a bite. Nick was positive if he ever fell for it and followed her to bed, she'd be completely over him the next day. But because he hadn't caved, she was more determined than ever.
"Your night off? Bummer, I was hoping you would make me one of your extra dirty martinis," she pouted, bumping him with her hip. Nick jumped as far back as he could to avoid the contact, but the bar was so crowded it didn't do much good. "I guess I'll just have to settle for drinking one with you instead."
"Actually Allison, I'm kind of here—"
"With someone else," piped up Jess, who'd silently blazed her way back to Nick and now looked downright furious. "Jessica Day, I don't believe I've had the pleasure," Jess fumed, sticking out her hand.
Allison snorted and shook it. "Allison Hollings. Nick, who's your little friend?"
Nick opened his mouth to bat down Allison's condescending comment, but Jess got there first.
"I just told you who I am, I'm Jess. I'm one of Nick's best friends and we also live together. And you know how that goes, right Allison? Friends and roommates first and then one day you wake up and it's just become so much more." Jess sighed theatrically and ducked under Nick's arm so she was cuddled up against him. "Anyway, now that we're all acquainted, would you like to join us for that martini?" Jess asked with mock politeness. "Although judging by the mascara smudges and the way you teetered over here, you may have already had a few, huh?"
Allison glared at Jess, slammed her drink down on the bar and marched over to rejoin her friends.
Nick turned to look at Jess, his mouth comically agape and his eyes twice their usual size. She covered her face with her hands.
"I know, I know," she said through her fingers. "That was out of control, I guess it was my turn."
Nick laughed. "Are you kidding? That was the greatest thing I've ever witnessed. I mean two beautiful women,—"Nick stopped short at Jess' glare, "—to rephrase, one beautiful woman, one severe looking bottle blond with average features and a mediocre sense of style—were kinda fighting over me! This might be the pinnacle for me, Day. It probably doesn't get any better than this."
Suddenly Jess was much closer, her hands sliding up his chest, latching onto his collar and dragging his face down to meet hers.
"Wanna bet?" she whispered before pressing her mouth to his with absolutely no regard for the crowd. She kissed him with courage and intensity; more so than ever before. And it was all Nick could do to stay standing, so he pressed her up against the bar and kissed her back. When they finally broke apart, Nick saw something fiery and incredible in Jess' clear blue eyes.
"Right again Day," he whispered before tugging her out the door, into the night and definitively back toward the loft.
