Chapter 7: Last Decision


It turned out that they were inside a computer monitor, looking outside.

Jia Xu: What the….is that…is that….

Guo Jia: Is this….a workplace? Similar to the one inside that cottage?

Xun Yu: But it's so…large….

Xu Shu: We're kidnapped by giants!

Sima Yi: What…giants? Really?

Jia Xu: Tch….summons weapon and attempts to break the screen HYAAAHHH! WHOA!

Everyone: AH!

Jia Xu: Tch…look at that! The screen just jolts like that!

Guo Jia: What….what could this mean? Where are we right now?

Sima Yi: Or even…..WHEN are we?

Just at that time, two KOEI employees pass by.

"….so, how's it going?"

"Well, I already put in the Xuchang stage there. It's unfinished, though…"

"What?! Argh, two goddamn weeks and THAT'S your progress?!"

"Hey, don't blame me! I mean, we've been getting too busy with Musou Stars already…"

"Huff….well, then work even harder! We don't wanna Suzuki-san to suddenly drop in and shower us with a 'rage tsunami' again after that one time!"

"Yeesh! I know, I know!"

Everyone: …

Guo Jia: …..what….what are those two giants talking about?

Jia Xu: I don't know….they're speaking in the same strange language we spoke one day….

Xun Yu: They're speaking about 'Xuchang stage'? What?

Sima Yi: No way…they have a power to 'create' Xuchang?!

Xu Shu: Who….WHAT are they?!

One of the employees then sat down and booted up the computer. Inside the computer, the black space immediately turned into pixelated blue space.

Everyone: WHOAAA!


After that, the five was then suddenly transported into a dark cave.

Everyone: WHOA!

Guo Jia: What is this place?

Jia Xu: It's a cave, dumbnut.

Xun Yu: It's so dark! What, what the hell am I supposed to see?

Sima Yi: Calm down! Infact, that way you could walk into something that hurts.

Xu Shu: ….hey, there's a blue light there.

Guo Jia: Hm? …okay, let's go.


And thus the five followed the blue light, where they found glowing blue runes on the cave walls.

Everyone: Whoa…

Jia Xu: What are these symbols?

Guo Jia: Seems like some sort of an ancient language…or something….

Xun Yu: Man, this is spooky….

Sima Yi: I think at this point, NOTHING ever seems scary anymore.

Xu Shu: Guys, the light seems to be getting stronger.

They walked until they reached a glowing blue pond at the end of the cave.

Everyone: Whoa….

Guo Jia: What is that?

Xun Yu: A glowing blue pond…you think a goddess could be living in it?

Sima Yi: A goddess? Heh, what?

Jia Xu: Anyway, imma take a look.

And so Jia Xu approached to take a closer look at the pond, where it slowly turned to show Zhang Jiao.

Jia Xu: ….what the hell?

Guo Jia: Hm? Hold on, isn't that that Yellow Turban guy?

Xun Yu: What the hell? …don't tell me HE'S the one behind this all along?!

Sima Yi: If he can somehow do all of this madness even after death, well…

Anyway, it showed Zhang Jiao to be walking among his hometown, into a deep forest.

Guo Jia: Damn, what is he doing?

Jia Xu: Hey, it's Zhang Jiao. He might be off to do some of his shady magic mumbo-jumbos.

Eventually, Zhang Jiao stops and starts chanting.

Xu Shu: What is he saying?

Jia Xu: Well, his usual freaky spells. What else do you expect?

After he finished chanting, a thunder suddenly struck a place right in front where Zhang Jiao stood.

Zhang Jiao: AAHH!

Everyone: WHOA!

The thunder produced a stack of papers, which Zhang Jiao picked up.

Zhang Jiao: ….oooh. OOOOH! FINALLY! Finally….I did it! These are the ultimate secrets of the universe I've longed to know!

Guo Jia: Ultimate secrets of the universe? What?

Jia Xu: Never thought that thing is surprisingly easy to acquire.

Then, Zhang Jiao reads the thing. However, slowly an expressions of horror came to his face.

Zhang Jiao: ….what? No….NO! This can't be! How…how could this happen?! You mean that….you mean that….we really are mere figments of someone else's imaginations?!

Everyone: widen eyes

And then, there was a mysterious, bellowing voice from the sky.

?: WHO WAS BOLD ENOUGH TO OPEN THE SACRED PAPERS CONTAINING THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE?!

Zhang Jiao: AAAHHHH?! Who….who are you?!

?: HM? AAAHHHH….SO YOU ARE THE ONE INFIDEL MORTAL WHO DID THIS!

Zhang Jiao: Forgive me, FORGIVE ME!

?: TELL ME, WHY DID SUCH A MORTAL LIKE YOU READ THE SACRED PAPERS OF THE GODS?!

Zhang Jiao: I'm sorry, I'M SORRY! It's just….for so long I've desired to know the deepest. Most scared secrets of this universe! I've dedicated many years of study and practice into this! Please! Don't punish me!

?: HMMMM…..ALRIGHT THEN. I'LL LET YOU LIVE WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE. BUT REMEMBER, SOMEDAY THIS WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING FOR ETERNITY. NOT JUST FOR YOU, BUT FOR EVERYONE ELSE. NOW, OUT OF MY SIGHT!

Then another thunder struck again in front of Zhang Jiao, where it suddenly formed a large pond of wine, whereas Zhang Jiao left with such panic that he left the papers behind. Then the 'pond footage' ended.

Everyone: …what….was that?

Jia Xu: …guys.

Everyone: Hm?

Jia Xu: ….I think….I finally understand.

Guo Jia: What?

Jia Xu: I FINALLY UNDERSTAND!

Everyone: Whoa!

Xun Yu: What? What is it?

Jia Xu: I finally know ALL of it! The alternate memories. The alternate realities. That sudden second language, that mysterious booming music, that magic, EVERYTHING we've experienced so far! I finally understand the truth, THAT ALL OF THIS IS A LIE!

Everyone: Huh?!

Sima Yi: A….lie?

Jia Xu: YES! Our mere existence is a LIE! EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS MADE UP! This is the reality….that we're not real.

Everyone: Gasp!

Guo Jia: What do you mean that we're not real?

Jia Xu: YES! We are actually mere reimagining of our REAL selves 2000 years ago, recreated in this sort of virtual media for those giants in the outside world to play as an entertainment!

Guo Jia: W-what?!

Jia Xu: So, you get it, all of you?! There's no reason to question anything weird that happened in this world anymore. It's because they're all made up! We're all made up! You hear it, we're not real! NOT! REAL!

Everyone: ….

Xu Shu: ….no….so all of this…..so all of this can basically only happen because this is not the real world?

Jia Xu: Yes!

Sima Yi: But wait! How can you suddenly know all of this?

Jia Xu: Actually….I've known this for a long time due to analyzing those papers back at that cottage. To be honest I didn't say it to you guys because I too, had a hard time believing it was real. But now…since there's this….it is real, after all.

Xun Yu: But wait! In that case, then who are those 'giants', really? And why did they do this?

Sima Yi: Moreover, how can we be the ones to actually realize this?!

Jia Xu: Now that…I don't know….

Everyone: ….

Just at that moment, the cave suddenly crumbles.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Xu Shu: What's happening?!

Sima Yi: The cave's about to fall!

Guo Jia: RUN!

And so the five attempted to get outside of the crumbling cave, but they failed as the cave managed to crumble atop of them.

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Guo Jia: …unggghhh…ah! Hey, is everybody okay?!

Everyone: Ngghhh….

Jia Xu: …nggghhh…I'm….okay….mostly, anyway….

Sima Yi: ….hey. It's this same black space we visited inside that sphere!

And suddenly, the entire black space turned blue.

Everyone: WHOA!

?: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Everyone: …..HEY! It's you!

?: HAHAHAHAA! Of course, it's me! It's great you five still remember me!

Jia Xu: Okay, seriously, this has gone way TOO far!

Guo Jia: Yeah! Tell me WHO you are right now and WHAT you want!

?: HAHAHAHAHA! Okay, okay, guess I really shouldn't be wasting any more time in explaining the whole situation to you guys. First of all, my name is Ace. I am the director of Koei, the company that made you.

Everyone: Huh?

Ace: Ahem! So…all you five finally know the truth. As said before, the truth is, all you guys are mere virtual reimagining of your actual, real, historical selves 2000 years ago, recreated and given few artistic touches to make it enjoyable by people.

Jia Xu: 'People'? What people? You mean those giants?

Ace: Giants? Oh, right! Because they're your creators, they appear giant to you, eh.

Guo Jia: Okay, okay, we actually finally understand why this happens. But still…why us?

Ace: Oh, right! Ahem, you remember the Phoenix Wine?

Everyone: Phoenix Wine?

Ace: Yes! The wine you drank in the Chibi celebration! The truth is, that wine was produced by the pond in Julu after Zhang Jiao discovered the secrets of the universe. The wine has an ability to bring ANYTHING to life.

Everyone: Anything to life?

Ace: Yes! You might be thinking that it can only be used to revive dead people, but the thing is, if drunk, they bring ANYTHING to life. Including you.

Everyone: Huh?

Guo Jia: What do you mean by us? I mean…we're alive, right?

Ace: No, no! Technically, no. Like I said before, you are all not real. You merely exist as line of codes inside a virtual entertainment. And thus, you're not actually 'alive'. But thanks to drinking this wine, you all became special species of living beings made of digital codes. That, eventually caused you to eventually become self-aware of how you are all not real.

Everyone: …

Ace: I know, I know, this situation is unsalvageable for you the first time. But that's alright, me too. I never thought that Cao Cao would ever get some Phoenix Wine and shared it with you guys….infact, I never thought anybody would ever drink this at all.

Guo Jia: …..okay. Okay, so…we finally know the truth, and all….that we're not real. We only exist in video games to be played by the REAL people, but….can we still go back to our normal world? Our normal situation? Back to our normal world?

Ace: Hm? You wanna go back?

Guo Jia: OF COURSE! I….I did all of this long-ass journey to try to find some way to go back to Lord Cao Cao….I WANT TO GO BACK!

Ace: Whoa! Easy there young lad….okay, I actually CAN, return you back to your normal world, thus bringing you back to your normal routines of everyday war…

Guo Jia: GASP! You can?!

Ace: Yes! Yes I can…BUT!

Everyone: Huh?

Ace: But….I actually have an alternative for you guys. A FAR better one.

Guo Jia: What's it?

Ace: Here….the thing is, I can actually put EVERYONE else into the same situation as you two. Everybody's alive as if nothing happened, they are all aware that they're not real and have full knowledge about the real world, and the best part, you guys don't have to fight anymore.

Everyone: WHAAAAATTTTT?!

Sima Yi: The hell man…you CAN do such a thing?!

Xun Yu: I very much prefer that one, absolutely.

Xu Shu: Great! I don't have to fight anymore!

Ace: BUT! There's a but!

Everyone: Huh?

Ace: The thing is….everything that's ever happened so far is actually governed and set in motion by a certain SOMEONE in the real world. A certain someone with such a twisted, unworldly mind that can ALWAYS come up with messed-up scenarios. Someone who has the absolute power and control in everything in this world. And if you choose the latter, you'll be condemned for eternity to play out those very same messed-up scenarios. Oh, and none of you will remember that any of this EVER happened.

Everyone: …

Jia Xu: What? There could possibly be someone like THAT?

Sima Yi: Seriously! This is practically the same as choosing between one turd and a slightly cleaner turd!

Xun Yu: So…either way we're fucked, eh?

Xu Shu: Even though we don't have to fight anymore…I'm still afraid as to what those scenarios will be….

Guo Jia: ….I….

Ace: …..so?

Guo Jia: …uhm…guys?

Everyone: ….

Jia Xu: ….we leave this decision to you.

Guo Jia: Ah…..okay…we choose….we choose….the latter.

Ace: …..hm. Very well. suddenly glows brightly HYAAAAAAHHHH!

Everyone: AAAAAHHHHH!

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Wei

Cao Cao: Yawn….whoo! What a great morning!

Xiahou Dun: You feel so energized today, cousin.

Cao Cao: Haha, you think?! Ah, I don't know….

Guo Jia: Good morning, my lord.

Cao Cao: Ah, Guo Jia! Morning too! Ahh….what a beautiful morning, eh? Surely nothing bad can happen, eh?

Guo Jia: Don't jinx it, then.

Cao Cao: Hahaha!

Jia Xu: Hey.

Guo Jia: Oh, morning!

Jia Xu: Yeah, morning too. Ahem…by the way…

Guo Jia: Hm?

Jia Xu: ….eh, nevermind.

Guo Jia: Huh? What? Say it!

Jia Xu: Eh, no…it's just that…I felt like I've just woken up from some terrible nightmare.

Guo Jia: Really?

Jia Xu: Yeah…it's just that I don't quite remember what it was…

Guo Jia: ….heh. Funny. Me too.

Jia Xu: Ah, it's alright, I guess.

Xun Yu: Hey, guys!

Guo Jia: ….so?

Jia Xu: Hm?

Guo Jia: Shall we do it?

Jia Xu: ….well, why not? Let's go.


Shu

Liu Bei: WOO-HOO! Another fantastic day!

Zhuge Liang: You're a bit awfully bright, my lord.

Liu Bei: Haha! Heh, that's the way I am, I guess.

Zhuge Liang: Heh….oh, Xu Shu?

Xu Shu: Ah.

Zhuge Liang: Quite unusual for you to wake up this early.

Xu Shu: Ahaha…well, you see…I don't really know…but maybe that's because I feel good things will happen today.

Zhuge Liang: Whoa. Quite rare for you to be so positive.

Liu Bei: Especially since you're always afraid terrible things will happen.

Xu Shu: Hahaha….well….I guess not anymore.


Jin

Sima Yi: Zzzzzzz…..

Zhang Chunhua: My lord.

Sima Yi: Zzzz….zzzz….

Zhang Chunhua: My lord. My lord! Wake! UP!

Sima Yi: Zzzzz…..

Zhang Chunhua: …

SMACK! OWWWWW!

Sima Yi: HEY! What the hell was that for?!

Zhang Chunhua: It's getting late, you know! You can't slack off all day like that!

Sima Yi: Oww….I know that! But still….

Sima Shi: You're starting to become like Zhao, father.

Sima Yi: What?! No, I'm not!

Sima Zhao: Eh, it's alright. Old man needs his rest sometimes.

Wang Yuanji: Yeah, but he's the leader of this kingdom. He can't be lazy.

Sima Yi: ….huh….hehehehe….

Everyone: ?

Sima Yi: Hehehehe….hahahahahha…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Sima Shi: Uhhh….dad?

Sima Yi: Hahahaa….no, no…it's just that….it's just that….at my age, I feel like I'm blessed for still having such a glorious kingdom like this, and most of all…such a devoted and lovely family like you.

Everyone: …..huh.

Sima Zhao: Mom, did you give dad some kind of-

Zhang Chunhua: No, no, certainly not.

Sima Shi: Err…okay, that's…good and all, father.

Sima Yi: Of course, of course. Oh well, I feel that something great will happen. Just you wait.

THE END


Yay! I finished it! Come to think of it, this might be my multi-chap fic that took the shortest time to finish, thanks to my holiday and all.

And yes, for those who're confused, this whole fic is actually a prequel/a sort of an 'origin story' of my other Humor/Parody fics. As in, why all the playable characters are alive and never even tried to defeat the another unless if something happens. Granted, it IS pointless when you think about it, but I don't know. I just had a sudden idea for it.

Anyways, thank you for reading this from the start until the end! Please leave a review and have a good day!