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I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's
Chapter 7
By the time we break for lunch, my arms are throbbing from holding the gun and my fingers are hard to straighten. I massage them on my way to the dining hall. I follow behind the others, who are laughing and talking about how good they are with guns. It's a bit annoying, but I don't want to be openly jealous. It's bad enough that I am feeling extremely jealous on the inside. Especially of Rob. He couldn't catch the train without my help, but he's some natural while firing a gun. My brain is frustrating me. It's a good thing we are going to get psychical in the afternoon. It will help with blowing of steam.
"What's eating you up Andy?" Marnie asks me while we're filling our plates. The others are already sitting down and laughing about some joke Victor made. Apparently that guy can crake up jokes, unlike his quite little brother Lucas: "You're not getting depressed about the shooting practice right. We still have a lot of practice, so I'm sure you'll get the hang of it."
"Oh I wasn't thinking about that. I was already thinking about practicing some extra tonight or tomorrow. I can use it," I explain. I wasn't all that worried about the tests. My strength has to lie somewhere else. You can't be good at everything, right?
"Then what's wrong," Marnie asks again and we sit down next to Kim and Lucas. I noticed that he doesn't take part in the conversations, like me. Maybe he's some outsider too, who likes to be part of the background: "That damn big gunned trainer of ours. He should have let me figure it out on my own."
"Oh that's your problem," Marnie laughs a bit and rolls her eyes. She doesn't understand. It's about the principal of learning something on your own and taking pride in that. I like solving problems on my own, because it makes me smarter. I can adapt quicker that way. If people always tell me what I am doing wrong, I don't really learn anything.
And then there's the thing that it's Eric. For some reason I didn't mind Four's help. That's probably because I like him more and he wasn't the Dauntless leader who helped me on that damn train. I really can't let that go, can I?
"I agree, what did you learn now? You hit the target, but you can't take any pride in it because Eric told you what you did wrong," Lucas says. His voice is very deep and it's kind of weird, because he's so young. His brother's voice isn't that deep. It's nice that he agrees with me. Marnie thinks about what he said and tried to see our point of view: "Okay maybe that's true, but you can't learn everything on your own. You only have a few days, you shouldn't waist time on figuring what you're doing wrong and try to get as good as possible, as quickly as possible."
"Yeah Andy, we only have a limited time to prove ourselves towards these guys," Rob joins our conversation, his mouth filled with meat. It's disgusting to watch: "But that's the problem. What have I proven so far? I needed help to get on the train and I needed help with firing a gun. And both times it was the same guy who helped me. And sadly that's not just any guy, but he's a Dauntless leader. If I keep getting help, I'll look like a weakling and never get passed initiation."
"Why do you care about that? I mean every time you open your mouth to him, it's to say something mean or sarcastic. I didn't think you cared about stuff like that," Rob asked me. He talks like he knows me, when in reality he knows me for a day. Lucas seems to see my side of the story: "That's different. It's verbal sparring and she obviously gets a kick out of that, especially when the other person answers back. This is about taking pride of your own accomplishments."
"What he said," I say jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. During our conversation it got a bit strained. It doesn't matter to me that Marnie and Rob don't understand me, but I don't want to end up in some kind of discussion over it.
"Yeah, what's with all this heavy and deep talk? Let's talk about something a lot more important, like who's up for getting tattoos tonight," Victor asks and the others agree immediately. Only Kim and Lucas don't seem excited to get tattoos. I don't want one either. Not yet anyway. I want one when I achieved something. When I proved I could do something. I want my tattoos to have a meaning, not just be a symbol of me being part of this faction.
Plus, I'm not sure yet that I get to stay. Maybe I'll be factionless in a few weeks and then that tattoo will look stupid. It would be a reminder of my failure.
I wonder what my parents would say about me getting a tattoo. I don't think they would like it. In fact, they would probably scold me for getting gone. Hygiene and stuff like that. Marie would agree with them. She is so much like mom and dad. The perfect combination of both. I'm more like my grandmother. I wonder if she ever had any tattoos, considering she's from Dauntless.
"I'm going to skip. I can use the extra practice if I want to beat all of you next time," I say jokingly and get up. Time for the next training. I'm kind of pumped for it. I want to see what I am made of when it comes to physical training.
I regret those thoughts three hours later, when I am dying from exhaustion. But I'm not the only one. Everyone is practically dead. I don't think the others are going to go to the tattoo place and I will probably not be able to get some extra practice.
The room we are training in is huge, with a wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. On the right side there is a chalkboard. Our names are written on it. We will probably be grated on that. The best initiates on top and the ones who aren't worthy will stand below the red line. Tomorrow they will put our names in order of how good we are. I need to prove that I don't belong beneath the red line.
Training began with running, a lot of running. Like I said yesterday, it's the best way to build up stamina. I understand that, but it doesn't mean I like it. I can keep up with the top three initiates, who are Michael, Victor and Lucas. I am secretly pleased to see that Rob is behind me. It's a very selfish thought of me.
See, I don't belong in Abnegation.
After running, Four showed us some fighting techniques. I practice with Lucas. We are pretty equally leveled. He is stronger, but I am faster. We are a good match and I feel eager to push myself to get better.
The others aren't doing a bad job either. Well, Annie and Rob are maybe not a good match. They know each other from Amity and are very awkward around one another. Annie is weak and she's afraid to hurt Rob. He is dealing with the same problems. He is insecure and his posture is all wrong.
"You think those two have feelings for each other and that's the reason they are basically dancing around each other," I ask Lucas, while trying to punch him in the face. We made a deal. The first one to punch to other in the face wins and gets the glory of it. He graphs my arms and holds them behind my back. I can't get lose. He takes a look at Rob and Annie: "Probably."
"Maybe we should switch partners. You take Rob, I'll take Annie," I suggest and Lucas thinks it over. Rob and Annie aren't learning anything because of their stupid puppy love dog dance. We want to approach them when Eric walks in. He had some business to take care of and left training us to Four.
"He seems to be in a foul mood," Lucas whispers in my ear and I agree. His eyes are sending daggers to everyone who meets his eyes. It's probably stupidity that makes me meet his eyes. The others were smart enough to look away or pretend that they hadn't seen him enter the training room. I should have known better, but it seemed stupid to avoid his eyes.
His eyes are cold. He is really angry. Why? What did his business involve? A shiver goes down my spine and his eyes hold mine for a second too long.
He walks up to Four and they discus something in low voices. We aren't supposed to hear what they are talking about. My eyes cross with Kim and Marnie. We signal each other to get back to work. I turn to Lucas and we forget about Rob and Annie and start practicing again. The others follow shortly after.
I have a hard time keeping up with Lucas. My eyes keep wandering towards Eric and Four. What are they talking about? What's got Eric so on edge? He doesn't seem relaxed? His shoulders are rigged. It doesn't look natural on him. He's Eric, the big bad ass Dauntless leader, with arms as big as my head.
Lucas notices my attention is lessening and finds an opening to punch me in the face. The blow sends me back and I fall on my back. Damn it, Andy! Pay attention to what is really important. Lucas is beating you! You really want that to happen?
I shake all thoughts from my head and take Lucas his hand. We start again. I let go of my previous thoughts and focus on beating Lucas. I want to win and he's a tough opponent. I forget about the piercing gray eyes that follow my movements.
"Alright, gather around," Four calls us at the end of the day. Eric didn't stay during training. Apparently he left shortly after Lucas and I started training again. I didn't notice when he left. I was too much focused on finding an opening in Lucas his defense. At the end of the day, I have to admit that he's better than me. He is stronger and he is a quick thinker. He was able to win every round, but he kept me motivated to try again.
I can learn a lot from this guy.
Everyone was tired and cranky. It's going to be a bloodbath to decide who gets to shower first, considering we only have two showers. I am so willing to kick someone's ass just to be able to shower faster.
"That's it for today. Starting tomorrow you will fight each other. Winning get's you more points, losing makes you lose points. I suggest you get a good night's sleep and shower. You all stink," Four dismisses us and I find some last energy to laugh at his joke. He seems pleased with our progress.
Marc, Victor, Lucas and Michael look at each other for a split second and then start running. They are probably fighting over the showers. I start walking slowly and might I ad painfully towards our sleeping quarters, when Four calls my name: "What?"
He doesn't look at me, just waves a black gun and places it on top of a closet. Did he just give me an okay to come and practice here on my own? How did he even know? Maybe it wasn't that hard to figure out. Maybe someone told him? I'll shower and eat first. Then I'll come back for some extra practice.
When I reached my room, the showers were occupied by Michael and Marc. Kim, Marnie and Victor were sitting on the ground in the middle of the room, telling jokes. Where do they find the energy to even laugh? I feel so dead at the moment. Annie and Sarah are lying on their bed, resting. I think Sarah is even asleep, judging by how calm she looks. It's weird for me to see her like this. On school she always seemed to be in control of every situation, but now she looks like she gave up. I guess that's what Dauntless training does to you.
"Hey Andy, I'm going to look for clothes. You wane join me?" Rob asks me. I had forgotten about that. I only got this set of clothes from Kim and Marnie: "But we smell horrible: "Yeah, I don't want people to smell me like this!"
"Oh shut up! You can tell everyone it's my stench," Rob jokes and he slings his arm around my neck, pushing my nose towards his sweaty armpit. I punch him in his stomach, to get him to release me: "Disgusting! You smell awful!"
"You don't smell like sunshine and daisy either princess," he jokes while we walk towards the pit. Something is going on. The Dauntless were running everywhere, preparing for something. I saw Max, another Dauntless leader giving orders to other people. A lot of men and woman were running towards the entrance of the compound: "What do you think is going on?"
"I don't know, but it's kind of exciting," Rob says, looking eagerly around himself. He's starting to fit in here. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to be some kind of adrenaline junkie. He only needed time to adapt to the way of the Dauntless: "Yeah, kind of."
At the end of the hall, we see Eric and Four joining the group. Both are carrying guns. It must be something serious. They don't notice us and leave the compound. We aren't allowed to leave without supervision. It sucks. I wouldn't mind practicing on getting on the train on my own, but I'll have to find some way to do it behind Four and Eric their backs.
We walk passed Lauren, the Dauntless born initiates supervisor. She is also joining the group outside. She is talking to someone, but I can't make out what they are saying. The only two words I can understand are factionless and Erudite. Rob didn't hear it and he walks to the place Kim told us to go to. It's a store, but they give old cloths away to the initiates for free. None of us have money. We are basically free loading on Dauntless their back.
Lauren her words keep haunting my mind while I search for clothes. I don't listen to what Rob is telling me. Are the factionless attacking Erudite? Are mom and dad okay? What about Marie? Is she safe? Where did the factionless attack? It's been so long since they have done that. Why are they doing it now? Did the Erudite do something? I know they are trying to stop the Abnegation from giving food and clothes to the factionless. Maybe they found out?
"Hey Andy! Stop spacing out on me, will you," Rob punches my arm and I stiffen. I am starting to space out a lot lately, aren't I? I smile apologetic towards Rob and look at the cloths he's holding up: "What do you think?"
"Looks good. I'll just take these shorts and t-shirts," I say and thank the store lady for giving us the cloths for free. I had taken some black, knee shorts and black t-shirts. Simple. It's not like I'm going to do anything other than sweat or sleep in them.
On our way back to our sleeping quarters I try to keep my attention focused on what Rob is telling me, but I keep turning my ears towards Dauntless men and woman, running passed us. I try to pick up new information, but I can't understand anything because of Rob's talking. I gave up after awhile, but a nasty feeling stayed present inside the pit of my stomach.
I hope my family is safe.
