When I had got home I had told my aunty where I had been and told her I wasn't hungry, I was still not sure weather I was going to stay with Alex or maybe even Corban seen as that's were I was headed and I didn't have Alex's number yet so he wouldn't know when to pick me up or were from. I really didn't know how to tell Corban that I was going out with Alex, I really didn't know how to approach the subject, and there was no doubt that Corban would bring it up himself.
If I was ever scared of talking to someone, it was now. This was so stupid he was a friend of the family I shouldn't feel bad because he likes me and had looked after me for a while. But I knew this was going to be hard no matter what, I wasn't sure I wonted to tell him, but I knew I had to. This was so hard, harder than it should be. Why was it so hard to knock on his door and tell him what was happening? Was it because I was scared of his reaction? Was I scared if it went wrong he wouldn't wont me anymore? Was it because I wont both of them? It didn't matter because I had now managed to knock on the door and there he was smiling at me. All I could do now was blush and wait to be led in.
The air was full of a flowery smell of air freshener; this really was not like Alex's flat!
"Well how was you first day?" I didn't know if he was really trying to distract me or if he was trying to forget.
"Well very uneventful it would seam. Fights over me are becoming quite normal to me" I let the dislike for what had happened over these past few days slip into what I was saying. His eyes narrowed as he remembered what Alex had said.
"He told me I wasn't allowed near you. How he could think that I could hurt you I don't know" and he really did look upset that I might be over come with what they said about him, that I would stop thinking of him the way I did.
"Corban I have to tell you something" I realised while we were remembering what had happened and the way he felt flood us. He turned his head at me looking very curious.
"I don't thing you like it but I think you have a right to know" he was moving closer to listen and I felt scared that he would lose control of himself as I had seen him do and I would have a black eye for sure this time. "Corban…Corban…Corban me and Alex are seeing each other. I mean we are going out" he didn't look mad or angry, just sad and unhappy.
"Well im happy for you" I knew he wasn't!
"No you not Corban please don't lie to me. I know I don't deserve to know what your thinking, but please tell me! I won't to know" I begged with him.
"If I told you would you do something for me?"
"That depends what it is doesn't it?" I was not one of those people who got sucked in because I should feel guilty. And he knew that, I could tell.
"Fine please tell when what your thinking after I tell you ok?" I nodded I could do that. "Well you know I love you and I think he is really wrong for you. I wish you had chosen me, I just wont you to kiss me and tell me that you don't fell that same. And if you cant I wont you to try and not give him all yourself because you don't wont him to have all of it. I wish you could understand what I feel when I look at you" he was edgeing towards me, getting to close I thought "I wont to be in you, with you, part of you if I could be! Lilly please just see that I don't wont you to be with him" it was to late and I knew that I was not strong enough to stop him. His lips meet mine and it was as if this is how we should spend our time, together locked with out lips. I realised at that moment that I had to think about Alex as well, this was not just about me and Corban, but about me, Corban and Alex. Alex and me, Corban and me. How had my life got so screwed up? How had I fallen in love with someone I didn't know, and how had I let that person sleep with me, that was going to be my down fall when he told everyone that I had slept with him just the first time I met him. I felt so silly I'd slept with someone I didn't know and had only know for a few hours. I had kissed someone else while I was supposed to be going out with someone else, was nothing but an alcoholic whore, who went into peoples live just to ruin them. I was nothing and that would be my real down fall in life that I brought others down with me. At that point I was realised by Corban because I had started to cry.
"Lilly what's the matter" he had nothing but real concern in his eyes but I couldn't trust my self not to burst out into real hysteric sobs if I spoke. "Look if me kissing you has upset you ill take that as my answer" just as turned my head so I wouldn't have to look into his eyes and know he thought I didn't like he, I caught sight of a bottle of vodka on the side only what looked like a shot taken from the whole thing, and a small glass next to the bottle. I marched over to where it stood and drank as much as could without coughing at the burning it brought. Corban caught what I was doing realising the hurt feeling from his face to replace it with anger.
"What the fuck do you think you doing, that's not yours!" at last someone had told be of for doing something wrong, but it was to late for him the bottle was gone.
"Lilly answer my question what are you doing" he was so angry.
"Finally a reaction I can work with" he looked puzzled "You all keep showing me love, I know this world is not filled with that much, now angry, angry I can work with and understand" he looked less puzzled now but more upset that I could work with to sadness I'd experienced enough of that. "Corban im going out with Alex… well at least I think I am and I don't wont to upset him or you" I sighed why had my life got so complicated in two day that I already had to run away? I was least giving myself two weeks before I was on the run again.
"Lilly I know, I know, I understand that you don't wont to upset him and I do understand but drinking is not going to solve anything is it?" he seamed to realise something "Lilly do you blame yourself for your parents accident" how did he know about tha accident? Who told him? None had asked me that out right before and he knew the answer before I even opened my mouth to speak. His arms were round me before he spoke "Lilly that was not your fault you can't blame yourself for that!" but I could because it was my fault, if I hadn't made they come they would still be… I couldn't vring myself to think it, but it was my fault that I knew.
"Lilly please stop blaming yourself or I will tell your aunt what you were really doing on the first night you were here" he stared to chuckling. Was he really blackmailing me? How had him being mad at me brought us to my drinking? I had obviously mixed to much wine and beer this afternoon, because that vodka was kicking in far to quickly. I was feeling less and less and all I knew at that moment was how much I felt towards Corban and how he was hear for me and Alex (my boyfriend) wasn't. he was so close and smelt soooo nice. I moved my head a lent in and kissed him hard on the lips, I wrapped my arms around his neck so he couldn't pull away he was going nowhere if I had anything to do with it.
"Lilly what are you doing? You have a boyfriend!"
"Shut up Corban and kiss me" as I went to kiss him again he tried to move "Just kiss me!" and he did and he did more than kiss me. He was moving his lips faster and faster against mine making enough room for him to slip is tong into my mouth, he slid it along my teeth and played with mine. His breath was coming hot and steamy into my head. He moved his hands down my back and stopped on my bum, then they slid a little lower so that he could pick me up. I griped my legs around his waist. He started to walk backwards bumping into the counters and making a lot of clatter. He was still backing away with me round his waist, my arms wrapped around hiss neck and his hands just below my bum holding my up. We back right into his room when he dropped me on the bed, he stood over me while I caught my breath and he smiled.
"Lilly I love you!" then he took his hands and peeled off his shirt to reveal an well toned and shaped six-pack, is was something a well trained and well worked out model would definitely be proud of, along with his well muscled stomach muscles wrapped round his arms. As he came back down to kiss me I was ready for him and we kiss with such passion it could be mistaken for a film kiss that is so dramatic its unreal. I rolled him over and kneeled up over him I yanked my top off for him to see him smiling at me once it was off. I leant down to kiss him and he put his hands round my back and worked slowly up still kissing me, he reached the clasp of my bra and in one swift motion he had undone it. Then he rolled my over and got off me, I thought he ws going walk away laughing but he pulled off his trousers and then knelt over me. Slowly but sweetly he kissed all the way down my body until he reached my jeans, he slid his hand down with the zip and pulled them off me. Then it was off with the pants that matched my bra, they were both black lace. He took off his boxers, I took one look at him before I spoke "Corban umm… we cant do this" now he did look sad he hadn't let my finish "You don't wont me pregnant do you" to my disbelieve he laughed, but reached over to his drew non the less and pulled out the first thing he came too. Now he was sorted and we were both ready for this. Slowly he slid into me and kissed me at the same time, he pulled back out again this was not a retain like it had been with Alex he was taking time and being careful with me. When he came back in he went deeper and was getting deeper every time, he was getting faster and I could feel myself start to breathe faster, I could feel his hot sweaty body touch mine as he came in me, I was moaning and breathing so fast it could has been embarrassing. As he came down again and again I could feel his breath faster as well, his hot breath hitting my skin. When he started to slow I could feel something warm and hot in me, and then a rush of pleaser cursed through my veins, Alex didn't make me cum. As Corban slipped out for the last time he turned over onto the other side of me, he turned and kissed me, and I blushed. Corban held me in his arms.
"I didn't wont our first time together to be after you had started drinking but ill take what I can get!" he chuckled. I knew what he meant but I didn't regret any of it, what was I going to do I loved them both? I didn't have to think about it now not while I was here with him. I got out of bed and put on my bra and pants, that's all I'd need none else would see me.
"What are you doing?" he didn't hide the sadness in his voice very well. I laughed
"Going to make us a cup of coffee so we have enough energy to do that again" now he was smiling as I walked out the room.
As I was making the coffee, pouring hot water in the cups, I could hear foot steps but I thought nothing of it, there was one flat opposite. But then the door swung open, Oh My God, what was I going to do, here I was stood in my black lacy bra and pants and stood in the door way was Sebastian (Corban's older brother) and another boy I didn't know, he had blonde hair and brown eyes that I could star into forever they were that deep. They both stared at me as much as I stared at them.
"Hello Lilly isn't it?" I blushed I was so embarrassed, I didn't have a bad figure, quite the opposite but I still wasn't one to be seen by people I didn't know in my bra and pants, kinky bra and pants at that. All I did was nod.
"Well Lilly this is my other brother Ayden" he smiled at me, they both did.
"Nice to meet you Ayden" I turned round and carried on with what I was doing "Would you like a cup of coffee or anything else" I had to be brave and not show that I was scared they would laugh at me. They had both made their way to the sofa after Sebastian had gone to a room off the hall to unload his stuff.
"Yes please" was all they said "Coffee black" so I made them a coffee too. Corban came down the hall in just his boxers to meet me, once he caught hold of the other people in the room he glanced at me an blushed I returned that blush.
"Hey bros what you doing here" he looked at me apologetically, walked past him and went and gave his brothers their coffee, black. I walked back to the kitchen area got my coffee and leaned against the counter facing the living room.
"Well Corban I thought living here meant I didn't have to have a reason to come back home" he looked Corban in the eyes and then shot an meaningful look at me.
"Well no I guess your right" Corban walked over to me as he said this to his older brother and held my hand just below the counter.
"Well thank you for the coffee Lilly I best be off" Ayden walked over placed his cup on the draining board and eyed me up and down and smiled.
"Fuck off Ayden she aint interested" Corban's voice caught me off guard.
"She might be you don't know what she's thinking and anyway I can look if I wont she's got a great bod" I couldn't hold back the little giggle that came out.
"Thank you2 was all I could say, he smiled at me
"Anytime, really anytime, if you get board of him and he excuse for sex you come see me" Corban put his arm around my waist to show I was with him
"Fuck off Ayden before I hit you" Ayden and me giggled
"I will keep your offer in mind" Ayden smiled at me and Corban tightened his grip around my waist. "Get out now you're not welcome anymore"
"Chill bruv I was just saying how nice your lady here is there aint nothing wrong with that" Ayden gave me one more look up and down before deciding to leave.
"Your brother seams nice" I said so just Corban could hear.
"Well im off as well, I suppose I should let you bag her again to make her see why she should chose you over Ayden" Sebastian laughed and then left.
"I hate all of them Ayden had not right to eye you up like that" Corban wasn't happy.
"He was just looking at what he can't have, let him feel jealous of what you do" and I kissed him again, I didn't want him mad. I saw the radio in the corner on and turned it on. The music started to fill the room.
"Can I have this dance" I put my arms out so Corban knew I was being serious. Then he took hold off my hand and put them over his shoulders, he put his hands on my waist and we began to sway to the music. I knew this song and it was quite fitting right now I thought, it was Oasis Wonderwall:
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall
Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
As the last of the words trailed off I reached up on toes and kissed Corban on the lips with the lightest of kisses. And turned towards the bedroom, I thought it best to get dressed encase any of his other family decided to come round.
As I pulled the last of my cloths on Corban came up behind me and kissed the back of my neck and kissing round it, it pulled me round and started kissing me on the lips.
"Corban not again, what if someone else comes round for coffee and were in the middle of it" he laughed at that an let me got. I walked back into the living room and plonked myself down on the sofa. Corban came and sat by me still in his boxers but now he had a shirt on. We watched a bit of tell, I was very comfortable there in his arms watching telly. There was load grown outside I sat up and so did Corban, less than five minutes later a load knock came on the door.
"Corban go put your trousers back on" I orders him and he did as he was told an stalked off to his bedroom while I got the door. Whoever I was expecting it wasn't him. He stared deep into my eyes before he said anything. But he didn't say anything.
"Alex!" I made my voice light and excited when really I was scared and worried.
"Hey have you come to take me out?" he just looked at me and then scanned the room I was in.
"Where is he?" he asked in a angry tone, maybe I couldn't deal with angry as much as I had thought. "I said where is he?" I just kept silent "Lilly im not going to hurt him I promise" and he seamed sincere so I had to believe him. I let him pass and lead him to the living room. Corban came down the hall fully dressed and smiled in my direction before turning to see Alex. After he met Alex's gaze he knew as well as I did that maybe what we had done was not the best thing we had decided to do.
"Alex I don't wont to fight with you" Alex smiled "Because I don't wont to upset Lilly when I hurt you" that made me turn and give him a stern look "He wants to fight me as much I want to fight him, so don't look at me like that" I straightened out my face and turn my eyes to Alex who was looking at me had he figured out what I had done? Why was I such a bad person? Why had I done that? Would I ever be forgiven?
"Did you sleep with him?" yes he had figured it out and form the sound of his voice I was going to have to work very hard to be forgiven, but it wasn't me who answered.
"No. she didn't sleep with me. Im not that lucky" Corban chuckled. What was he doing? After that I didn't care Alex join in the laughing.
"Yeah I know what you mean mate" and he looked at me longingly. I went and sat by him taking his hand as I did so. It was rough after Corban's soft hands. He leaned in to kiss me and I just kissed him back so it didn't look to obvious that me and Corban had done. As Alex moved his free hand up my back to my neck I drew back and took in Corban's face, he look so unhappy and sad, I felt cruel and mean I couldn't do this to him, to anyone.
"Alex hun, we are not alone yet" Alex just laughed and took me by the waist and stood up.
"Thank you Corban for looking after my girl this afternoon" Alex emphasis the word my so Corban got the fact we were together.
"Anytime, really anytime you need to talk again you come see me" Alex snorted as if I wouldn't be doing that anytime soon.
"Well thanks again mate speak to you soon yeah" Alex dragged me towards the door and out it. I hated being lead anywhere if I knew where I was going. Corban was following us down the stairs and outside. Alex was leading me towards a motorcycle that was muscular and black. As we approached the motorcycle Corban caught my arm and spun me round just as Alex let me go.
"I'm having a party tonight if you two want to come. It's a new term party like I always have" Corban was staring deep in my eyes as he spook search and finding something deep in me to stop himself from telling.
"Sounds great. We'll be there".
As we speed down the road I promised myself I would never leave him looking like that ever again. As long as I lived I would never leave him like that.
