First of all let me just say: rileypotter17 you have submitted my all time favourite review EVER. It nearly reduced me to bloody tears and I was home alone so I could prance around and scream to my hearts content! The speedy update was your doing, love. A big thanks and computer equivalent hugs to all of my reviewers and Gary/Emma junkies. This is for you!


21st July 2008


The Half-Blood Prince was filmed and complete and was set for release the following year, in July 2009. After signing the contract of renewal at the beginning of last year and continuing the role of Hermione Granger in the last four instalments of the Harry Potter series, a lot of things had changed for Emma Watson and never in her life had she been busier.

She was putting her head down and studying hard for her A Levels in English literature, Geography and Art. Her eyes were set on university, Oxford most specifically, the oldest and one of the greatest universities in the world, and the place where her parents met. It was probably the toughest challenge she had ever set herself, because it meant she had to balance her fame (ever increasing), film schedule and school work all in one headache of a year.

Most overwhelming of all was that she was being widely recognised, and regularly, for her 'sex appeal'. For the second year in a row she had appeared in FHM's 100 sexiest women in the world, coming 98th in 2007 and this year, 33rd. She wasn't sure whether to be flattered or die of embarrassment at this emerging 'celebrity pin up' status that seemed completely out of the blue. She was only eighteen after all, and part of her 18th birthday present was the Phelps twins holding up the magazine and loudly announcing the news of her 33rd place in the common room; worst of all was that in the picture she was wearing a skimpy playsuit and lying provocatively on the floor.

She still insisted it was out of the blue.

And of course, that man was still a problem. If she referred to him only by gender, it meant that her heart didn't hurt as much.

She remembered the phone call between them, (the one and only phone call they had ever had) like she had pressed the red button a minute ago, when in reality that button was pressed two years ago. And she hadn't seen him in about two and half, after he declined all the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix premieres due to filming for 'The Dark Knight', in which he had a main character that she'd conveniently forgotten the name of.

She was thankful that they'd never crossed paths since the Order of the Phoenix, and she didn't let her mind wander to him either. There were always moments though, short and rare as they were, when she was offered a biscuit from the common room tin, or when a Beatles song came on when her iPod was set to shuffle, and like a gust of wind it was him all over again, invading her senses, shivering her to the bone.

In selfish moments when the world seemed nothing but ugly and her room a pit of darkness, she wondered if he ever thought about her at all. And if he did, was it just in passing, pleasant memories of forgotten days, or every time he closed his eyes to go to sleep at night? She couldn't imagine him lying awake replaying the happy ring of her laugh and the feel of their forbidden intertwined fingers on his last day on set, as she had done once or twice. It made her angry to know that he still affected her two years on; to him she was nothing but an old jumper he had grown out of but kept in his wardrobe, hidden from view, squished amongst all the newer, better clothes he had bought.

"Are you coming tonight Em?"

She jumped and almost toppled off her chair. She had been sitting at the desk in her dressing room at Leavesden Studios (they had cast interviews for the next two days), poring over her annotated copy of 'The Great Gatsby' when Dan poked his head round the door, scar less and grinning excitedly. He let out a fond sigh when he saw the piles of her English literature study texts – Frankenstein, the Bloody Chamber and Doctor Faustus, all her sticky notes and pages of essays with swirling g's and y's surrounding her.

Emma's revision sessions were intense.

Dan shut the door behind him and sauntered in, shaking his head teasingly, "As truly fascinating as Jay Gatsby and Daisy's sex fuelled relationship is, I think you need to come out and socialise for a bit."

She rubbed her eyes warily, a small smile tugging her lips. "Hmm, maybe you're right," she spoke as she yawned, "What's happening tonight then?"

His eyes lit up. "WELL…"

He helped himself to some biscuits from a pack of Maryland's on the coffee table (revision food), and plopped down on the sofa, putting his feet up.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh, by all means make yourself at home."

He grinned and shoved a whole biscuit into his mouth as if it was an impressive talent. "We're all going to Rupe's for pre drinks at half five, then getting a cab to Leicester Square for the Dark Knight premiere. It's tonight!"

His voice was muffled through his monstrous chews but she could just about understand him, and she frowned in inquiry. "'The Dark Knight'?"

"Yeah!" he nodded enthusiastically and leant forward, "the one Gary's in! He sorted out eight tickets for us! Everyone's going!"

Her mouth was suddenly dry and she turned her back on him, lunging for her bottle of water and flicking open the top. "Oh, well I haven't even seen the first one." Her hand was shaking as she drank.

"That doesn't matter," Dan said breezily, "no one will care; they probably won't interview us anyway-"

"I can't." Heart definitely quickening, she pulled the lid off of her highlighter with a snap and started shuffling through her pile of sheets.

"But I thought you just said-?"

"No, I wish I could but I really need to get revising. My exams start in three days and I need to get three A's, Oxford dreams you know." She shot him an apologetic look, "I just don't have the time at the moment, Dan."

Dan frowned and crossed his arms. "I understand that, but you've been revising for hours every day for the past month, you deserve a night off to have some fun! And did I mention it's the Dark Knight?" his voice was incredulous yelp. "It made over one hundred million in the American box office on the opening weekend!"

She shook her head, hating herself for letting him down. "My A levels have to take priority right now. I'm sorry."

With a roll of his eyes Dan stood up, clearly irritated. "Fine, I'll just tell Bonnie, Rupe, Tom, Evy and all the others you're revising. They're going to be upset you know, and Bonnie will be pissed off. And what about Gary?"

"What about him?" Her teeth unconsciously snatched her lip and the grip on her pen was deathly.

"What shall I say to him about your absence?"

"I can't imagine you'll have to say anything to him."

"No, he'll ask. He always asks."

She tried to keep her breathing normal, tried to keep her tone casual.

"Asks about what?"

She picked up a cue card of facts about the setting of Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' but for the first time in a long time she couldn't focus on the words. She seemed to read half a sentence and go blank, like her brain was unable to function properly, and the more she tried to read, the further the words drained away.

"About you," he said simply. One hand was on his hip and the other in his hair, as if he was trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for her absence. He didn't notice the tension in her back, or how a trembling hand was covering her eyes. "I'll just say you were already busy or something, no one misses a premiere like this because they're revising."

She sent him a weak smile over her shoulder. "Apart from me."

He walked over to her and dropped a kiss to her forehead. "Apart from you."

Then he was bounding out the door in excited, adrenaline rushed leaps and bellowing "See you!" without looking back.

"Have a good time!" she shouted back, her voice embarrassingly croaky, "And don't get too plastered!"

The door shut with a laugh and shortly after a faint yell of "I won't! Shit- I must not tell lies!"

She grinned at Dan's antics but it didn't raise her spirits. The smile slipped into a biting lip and she was left staring down at her hands long after the door shut, hoping Gary wouldn't hold a grudge against her for not seeing another one of his films…

"He always asks."

"Asks about what?"

"About you."

Her arms moved on their own accord and suddenly she was holding her laptop. In less than a minute had loaded up 'Netflix', and through blurry eyes typed 'State of Grace' and clicked 'watch now'.

She'd heard about it from Dan. 'Jackie Flannery' was his favourite of all of Gary's roles, and one that was apparently highly acclaimed by all film critics. With each second she watched, it turned into one of her favourite films, and by the time the credits were rolling she was sobbing into her pillow and then laughing out loud at the thought of someone walking in on her.

She was a state. A state who was supposed to be revising for an exam she was sitting in fifty four hours, and yet all she had achieved in the last hour and forty six minutes was letting an unwanted intruder burrow further into her heart, as fragile and bruised as it was. The fact that the intruder had the most charming, warm and sexy smile that she had ever seen (and shamefully replayed whilst watching the film) made her want to kick something.

She cried and eventually started laughing some more when she realised she was the female version of Jay Gatsby.

The following day she was up at dawn as per usual, driven to Watford and doing interviews for various people. She enjoyed doing interviews when the questions broke away from the cliché 'how would you describe this film?' and 'what's it like playing Hermione?', but she enjoyed her mid-morning breaks in the common room even more. She was making herself a cup of tea to go with her hot cross bun when Dan ran over to her. Before she could even open her mouth to ask the inevitable question he was answering, his wide eyes red and tired but telling of an amazing night.

"I can't even explain to you how good it was!" he exclaimed, and she flinched at how loud he was. It was a quarter to eleven, but it was still too early for those sort of volumes, in her opinion. "We all had a few when we got there but even when we sobered…" he trailed off breathlessly, but words weren't needed when his contagious cat-got-the-cream grin got the message across. Happiness was radiating off of him like steam. "Em, Gary is fucking brilliant as Gordon."

Ah.

She was waiting for his name to pop up, and so she was well prepared for it when it did. After her mini breakdown yesterday she had practised smiling in the mirror, pretending to be happy and excited and actually seem interested in the events of last night; it was what she was doing now as she gave her tea two sugars and stirred, half listening, half wishing she was a hedgehog so she could hibernate until December. Dan rolled on the balls of his feet and continued speaking, completely unaware that she was putting on a performance that was Oscar worthy.

"…and he gets to drive the Bat mobile! He hung with us for a while after the showing, introduced me to Christopher Nolan and everything. He bought us all a drink as well, even though Bonnie isn't eighteen-"

"Where is everyone else?" she wandered aloud, looking around at the near empty common room.

"Er, doing interviews for the special features DVD, I think," he replied, not particularly wanting to delve into the subject, "Must have overrun. Ours is this afternoon, David just told me. Anyway, in the end sequence Harvey Dent has Gordon's son with a gun to his head and-"

"Wow, that sounds great, I'm sad to have missed it," she said, biting into her hot cross bun, and feeling awful for lying- "You'll have to tell me the rest later though okay? I have to dash. I'm meeting my tutor to go over my last essay."

This, however, was absolutely true and Dan sighed at her lack of input, "Fine. Is this for English?"

"No, Geography."

He rolled his eyes, having gotten used to her immense work volumes over the years, he hadn't even attempted A levels and she was sure to fly through them; she really was amazing in that respect.

"Alright then, don't have too much fun."

"Shut it," she muttered as she walked to the doors, making him laugh as he watched her leave. A second of realisation and he was speaking loudly again. "Oh Em, wait! I have something for you!"

Her hand was holding the door handle, and she glanced back with a frown. "What?"

He caught up with her and dug a hand in his back pocket, pulling out a piece of black and white card with 'THE DARK KNIGHT' at the top, with her name printed in slightly smaller letters alongside it. "It's your ticket from last night; it'll be worth a few quid in the future. Here."

He handed it to her, and she took it curiously. He saw her expression and elaborated, "Gary told me to give it to you. We've all kept them. And he didn't say anything about your absence by the way, which was lucky."

She looked up at him, her eyes a vacant stare for a moment, before pursing her lips and nodding. "Yes, lucky! Right, well… thanks." She tugged the perfect smile onto her lips and gestured behind her, "…see you later then."

Her tutor Caroline stayed for three and a half hours, going over every detail, every character, every notable scene in each text, until Emma head was about to split open. When Caroline eventually took her leave, she hugged her goodbye and good luck, remarking that she had 'every confidence' that Emma would achieve her dream and land her place at Oxford University to study English.

It was sweet, kind and thoughtful and it made her stomach churn with nerves, so much so that on the close of the door she bolted into her en suite bathroom, fell to her knees and threw up in the toilet. Minutes later she yanked at the toilet paper and wiped her mouth as she lay slumped against the wall, eyes damp from tears she didn't know she was crying, more alone that she had ever felt.

It was 'WATSON QUITS POTTER' all over again, but she'd got through that because of him, and now he was gone.

"Shit Em, shit."

Her voice was broken whisper and she thumped her head against the bathroom tiles as she closed her eyes. The ticket Dan had given her was in her pocket, and she slid it out in the mind to throw it straight in the bin.

She gave it a quick scan before she did so, the ticket showing her seat number, number 23, and the date and time of the film showing. But it wasn't until she turned it over that her eyes fell on something unusual. At the bottom of the ticket on a white strip was some elegant scrawl, and definitely hadn't been on any of the other premiere tickets she had. It was small and handwritten, but she could still make out the words.

'Good luck with exams. Oxford will beg for you, love'

And at the bottom, squished into the corner…

'I miss you'

The ticket she was holding was suddenly speckled with little round pools of tear drops, and they flowed until it was one big lake, wet and soaking in between her fingers. The ticket tore in two, and she clenched it into her fist, thinking that the soft, delicate card severed down the middle was a metaphor for her heart. And what a beautiful metaphor it was.

He hadn't gone after all.