AN:: Well, hey there!
I just felt inspiration pouring writing this story, so I wrote more really fast, however I have an audition coming up Friday, and after that the rehearsal process will take up a lot of time again. I will do my best to update as much as possible, but it'll probably be as slow or a little less slow than it was with my last show.
Thank you all for sticking with me!
Just continuing :) Please continue to R&R, if you so wish!
Enjoy.
The day was colder than Galinda imagined it would be, but it didn't stop her from walking along side the tall green girl she kept avoiding eye contact with. She'd stopped crying shortly after leaving the dorm, but the sorrow was still firmly embedded in her throat.
Through her peripheral she could see her friend glancing over at her now and again, but not saying anything. She knew she was being quiet - too quiet, but she couldn't act as though everything was alright yet, she still needed time to adjust to the new state of being she knew she had to accept. Feeling heartache tearing at your soul isn't an easy thing to cope with, and harder still to learn from and grow with. Not that it was something she wanted to do, but it was preferable to not having Elphaba in her life at all. The ache would be manageable so long as she was able to feed the heartbreak she'd started. And Elphaba was too special to lose in any variation.
Yet even in knowing she needed time to adjust, she could feel Elphaba getting more and more uneasy about the silence. They'd been walking for a while, but not really going anywhere until they neared the gates to the grounds.
"Would you like to go in to town, or should we stay close by?" The green girl asked, trying to put on a smile, though Galinda could tell Elphaba sensed there was more wrong than than she let on.
Galinda flashed a small smile. "Wherever you'd like to go, Elphie, is fine.. I don't mind."
Elphaba nudged her friend. "Well, we're going out to make you feel better - what would you like to do?"
"It doesn't matter to me.
Elphaba stopped in her tracks, making Galinda turn to look at her with a questioning gaze. But the green girl just stood there with a patient smile on her face.
"What?" the blonde asked.
"You want to talk to me about it, but you won't, will you?"
She just stood there, unassuming and breathtakingly gorgeous in Galinda's eyes. Even with how horribly tangled her mind was, Galinda could still look at her roommate and feel like she was right. She was the only thing that was right. And she was the root of everything that was wrong. So all Galinda could do was shaker her head no, and be honest in only the fact that she didn't smile.
"I want to, but I can't."
Elphaba nodded. "I want you to." She didn't make any move to be closer to her friend. "I want you to be able to tell me anything that's bothering you."
"I know." Galinda smiled genuinely, falling more little by little. Why did she have to say such sweet things?
The green girl took a deep breath, and shuffled up next to her friend again. "So I'm going to have to decide where we go?"
Galinda nodded.
"It's strange for me."
"What is?" Galinda asked.
Elphaba shrugged. "Being able to chose where I'd like to go." she said, eyes cast to the grey sky. "Actually.. if you want me to be completely honest, to go anywhere with anyone in public who isn't family... well, it doesn't happen very often."
Galinda looked at her.
"Or at all." Elphaba laughed. "Ever."
"Let's go where you want to go, then."
"This isn't about me, this is about you and making you feel better, remember?"
Galinda grabbed Elphaba's hand and looked straight to the road laid out in front of them. "Well going where you want to go will make me happy." She took a deep breath. "I promise."
"Then coffee - let's go get coffee, and not talk about what's bothering you, yes?"
Galinda laughed. "Alright."
"We'll stay close by. Not too far into town."
Right next to a tiny bookstore that Galinda had never seen before sat a little cafe that she'd also never seen before. She was able to keep breathing while she walked arm in arm with her roommate for the trip there, not getting many strange looks - not that she could see as straight to know who was looking at her in what way. And Elphaba was every bit as wonderful as she'd ever been, smiling and just filling the air with words that weren't deep enough to fill a kiddie-pool, but it was what she needed. Galinda had needed background noise, and that's what Elphaba gave her.
Even when they arrived to the cafe, Elphaba led her to a table and ordered for the both of them, and Galinda didn't have to do a thing. She sat there looking at her friend wondering how anyone could have become as wonderful as she was.
"So, how are your classes going?" Elphaba asked.
Galinda was pulled from her inner musings. "Huh?"
The green girl laughed. "This really has you twisted up, doesn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you aren't paying attention to anything... whatever is bothering you is constantly on your mind."
Galinda sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't mean-"
"You know, on the walk over I even talked about learning a monologue so I wouldn't have to ramble like I was and you didn't even bat an eye." She just smiled and patted the smaller girls hand. "You don't have to talk to me about anything, believe me; I understand, I'm not the ideal person to ask for advice on anything... but you really should talk to someone. It's not healthy to keep everything inside."
"Stop doing that."
"Doing what?"
Galinda shook her head. "Putting yourself down like that. You act as though I would rather talk to someone else." She leaned on the table. "I'm here with you, aren't I? I let you-"
"This isn't about me, Galinda - we're here because you need to get your mind off of... of whatever's going on, and that's fine."
"What if talking about you takes my mind off of things?" Galinda realized she was being a little snappy, but everything was just wrong. "What if talking to you and with you and about you is the only thing that makes me happy anymore? What if the rest of my day is just torture in preparation to being with you and being able to feel like I'm a person rather than an object?"
She saw Elphaba's face starting to twist in confusion. Almost immediately after she noticed everyone else looking at her.
"You mind?" Elphaba asked the rest of the people in the cafe before turning back to her friend. "Galinda.. Are you alright?"
"No." She looked down. "I don't know."
A green hand reached over and covered a pale one across from it. She hesitated, but looked into the big blue eyes and tried to convey all the sincerity she felt. "I don't know what's going on, and you don't have to tell me. I don't want you to tell me if you feel any certain way about it that would make things difficult for you if you were to tell me... but I want you to know, that if there is anything, you need from my Galinda, that I will do my best to provide it." She gave a soft squeeze to the hand underneath of her own. "You've done so much for me and-"
"No, I haven't..." Galinda softened.
Elphaba nodded. "You have. You might not see it, but just this.." she gestured to the room around her. "..just being here, with me and not being ashamed to be seen around me - that means something to me. The fact you talk to me like a person means so much to me."
Galinda kept looking at her with guarded eyes, trying desperately not to let the green girl win over any more of her soul than she already had purchase of.
"You don't like when I put myself down, but it's all I've ever known. I'm still surprised every day I see you smile when I walk in the door from my classes, because there are few times I can ever remember being greeted with joy. There are few times I can remember joy at all outside of something that was out of my own personal resources." She leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head slightly, the whole time with a small smile on her face. "You're the first person I've ever known that can make me happy. I think that's why I've been so confused because... well because with anything new there is fear. And inevitably, where there is fear, there is the chance for pain or discomfort to some degree, and I suppose I wanted to avoid that."
"I'm scared." Galinda said honestly.
"Everyone is scared of everything. No matter what we say or do, we're scared and that's where inhibitions come from. We're scared of one thing or another not happening, or actually happening, and we run away, or stop trying, or do something to get us away from whatever scares us. It's human, even though it's stupid... and we're all guilty of not letting something grow because we're scared. Fear makes us so immoveable, that we take away our own chance, and most likely other people's chances at happiness. Or we hinder an experience that might push someone, or ourselves, to a place where we can finally see something we didn't before - something that changes everything."
Galinda just stared at Elphaba, wondering how her mind could wander so far down a path she didn't even realize existed. Hearing her speak was like being introduced to the world for the first time, and it was deep and beautiful. Nothing was face value anymore - Elphaba made everything have layers and depth in ways they would have never existed before.
"Changing even the smallest thing, changes everything." She sighed. The green girl sat up straight again. "Am I making any sense? I think so much, it isn't very often I get to voice all of the things that run through my head."
"No no no.. you make perfect sense." She nodded slightly, still in awe. "You make things clearer than I've ever seen them before."
Elphaba flashed a bright smile that just made Galinda heart feel like it was swelling in her chest. "Good." She laughed a little.
"But what if we can't escape fear? What if it follows us and reminds us all the time of what could be if we're to fail in our endeavors?" Galinda asked, leaning forward and resting her chin on her hand.
Elphaba shook her head. "We can't stop fear from ever being present. It doesn't work that way, because our minds don't work that way. It's just learning how we don't let that fear control us. Being able to step out of that shadow and look at the source of that fear and really understanding the parameters of that variable, and the fear dissipates. Or it doesn't ever really go away.. but I suppose what's more realistic is not trying to stop fear itself, but stop fear from inhibiting our lives. Instead of letting ourselves be scared away of something just because of 'what if's, we use fear to motivate to take away those variables and get an outcome. Doing something that will get to an end.. even if it's not the one we want."
"What if that end is painful? What if the state of staying in the unknown is far less painful than an outcome that might lay on the other side of an answer?" Galinda asked, still hooked to Elphaba's every word.
"I think wallowing in the unknown causes more pain, because the foreboding, tormenting ache that comes with not knowing the outcome of something is worse than the negative outcome." She nodded, moving stray hair behind her ears. "At least knowing.. knowing whatever the outcome may be when you have it, you can move on. Answers provide closure, and closure provides even some small level of comfort, which, in my opinion, is far superior to a perpetual state of unease that causes us so much more distress."
Galinda was quiet for a moment. "I think you're right."
Elphaba just smiled. "Am I?"
The blonde nodded, smiling herself. "How is it that someone who's experienced so little, understands so much about the way people work?"
"How can someone who's experienced so much have so many doubts?" Elphaba shot back.
Galinda could only look at her friend for a moment, wondering where all of this could possibly come from. How one person's mind could hold so many answers without having to sacrifice any personality to compensate. She was wonderful. Everything about her was wonderful. Even down to the way she would look down at her fingernails and look back up, sweetly, not knowing her effect at all. "How do you know me so well? How is it that you can just see into me so easily, and I have no defense mechanisms to protect myself?"
Elphaba just smiled brighter. "Because I've spent all my life mastering defense mechanisms. They were the only way I could keep myself going." Her smile faded, leaving a little hint of a smirk. "And I want to see you. You're the only person who's ever been able to see me, so if I have to dig a little bit so that you feel comfortable enough for me to see you, then I'll go get my shovel."
Galinda smiled. "I'm not that deep. All you have to do is scratch the surface, right under there is about all I have to offer."
"No it's not - you underestimate yourself."
"Do I?"
Elphaba nodded. "You..."
At that moment the waitress came by, setting their drinks down in front of them and went her way after they nodded their thank yous.
"What were you saying, all-knowing-Elphaba?"
The green girl leveled her gaze with the blondes. "Oh, hush you." She rolled her eyes. "I was just saying you have more to offer than you think you do."
"How would you know?"
"I just know.." she laughed.
Galinda shook her head. "Sure you do." She took a sip of her tea. "Should I get you Tarot cards too?"
Elphaba shrugged. "If you'd like."
Galinda was finally able to breathe. Just talking to her friend, letting her guard down and feeling like someone finally knew her made the blonde feel better. And of course Elphaba was right.. fear had such a hold on her, she wasn't able if she could move, let alone how to move. But she knew now that she needed to. Decisions needed to be made rather than just sitting, hoping that the situation wouldn't resolve itself, and that she would have the smallest amount of her friend, and just live in misery. Looking back on it, she did feel more than a little mellow dramatic for thinking the way she did.
Yet at the same time she couldn't ignore her feelings. Elphaba was special to her, so she had to be delicate with the situation. She had to be delicate in every move that she made.
The decision she'd come to with Elphaba's unknowing advice, was to decide what it was she wanted, and at the same time enjoy being a part of Elphaba's life in whatever way she was. Being with her was good enough, she kept saying. Whenever they just talked, it felt like everything was going to be just fine. Because it was - everything would work itself out the way it should.
After a few hours of talking and just being in the others company, the two spent the day just walking around town, going to the little places Elphaba frequented by herself when she wanted to get away and just be in her own world; the book stores that hardly anyone knew about, a bar that was out of the way and quite adorable in Galinda's opinion, and a small antique store that was full of little treasures.
Galinda wasn't exactly sure how the day went by so quickly, but it was a good day. She needed to feel like herself again, and with Elphaba it was easy to get back to that.
By the time they were back in the dorms, it was almost dark outside and the air was starting to become even colder. Galinda found herself still walking arm in arm with her friend, just enjoying her warmth as they were walking to their room, not wanting their contact to end just yet. But Elphaba, gently pulled away to unlock the door, and they both slipped inside.
"Thank you... for today." Galinda muttered as she slipped out of her jacket. "I needed it. Well, you knew that.. but I really appreciate you caring enough to take my mind off of everything."
Elphaba just smiled. "You are very welcome. I was happy to."
By the time the two were done changing into their sleep clothes, Galinda was already going to sit on Elphaba's bed, taking up much more space then she actually needed to. The green girl looked back at her friend from taking out her hair out, smiling over at the obnoxiousness taking place on her sleeping quarters.
"Are you comfortable over there, princess?"
Galinda stuck her tongue out. "Yes - quite."
"Are you hungry, or is it just me?"
Galinda let her head fall down to the bed without hindrance. "Ugh, I know... but I don't want to go down now! I just put all my night clothes on!"
"I know." Elphaba laughed. "But I happen to have some very tasty crackers from munchkin land I order every now and again. I could share with you if you'd like?"
The blonde looked back up at her friend, smiling brightly. "I'd like that."
Elphaba trifled in her bottom drawer for a moment before she pulled out a rather large package wrapped in brown paper. "Now, some people say that they are an acquired taste, but I like them very much."
Galinda nodded, and the green girl proceeded to pull out the biggest cracker Galinda had ever seen from the bag. It was about as big as the palm of her hand or a little larger with serrated edges, and what looked like all different kinds of seasoning baked into it. She was about to take a bite when Elphaba interrupted her. "And they make your breath smell just short of awful... but I don't think we have anywhere to go do we?"
"No, I think I'll be fine, especially if your breath will be as bad as mine." She took a big bite into the cracker, thinking, why not? And it was actually better than she thought it would be. Not overpowering, but it had a nice flavor, and a good texture about it. "Elphaba, these are really good!"
"I've always liked them." The green girl nodded. "When I was young these were nearly the only thing my parents could get me to eat. I've never eaten meat, or fish, or anything like that. I've never liked the thought of eating something that's ever had a consciousness. So I really have been a vegetarian all of my life."
"You've never once had meat?" Galinda asked, taking another bite.
Elphaba shook her head. "Not once. I never will unless it is forced upon me." She pulled a cracker out for herself, letting her gaze stay down. "And I seriously don't agree with the oppression we're putting on Animals now a days. I think it's awful they way we treat them, when they've been upstanding members of our society for so long."
The blonde just looked at her friend. She'd never really thought of it before, but it really seemed to bother the taller girl. Maybe because munchkin land was far more conservative compared to the Gillikin, but Galinda had really never batted an eye toward anything related the Animals, and had never really viewed them any differently.
Before Galinda could interject there was a knock at the door, nearly rattling their whole room.
Galinda got off the bed. "I'll get it."
Elphaba only nodded, scooting farther up on her bed and munching on her cracker.
She swung the door open, not caring to use the peep hole, and instantly wishing she would have. Standing just outside of the door frame was the man from the night before, only in better conditions.
Slowly he put his hand out. "Hello, you must be Galinda Upland."
The blonde just looked at his hand, refusing to shake it. At that moment, Elphaba appeared behind her, pushing her glasses up her nose, and staring down the man as though to make it clear he better not try anything, or consequences would be there to greet him not so friendly-like.
"Right..." he said, looking behind the smaller girl to the lengthy green watch-dog behind her. "I remember you as well, but I'm sorry I didn't remember to ask your name..." he held his hand out again, getting the same reaction as before.
Retracting his hand, he cleared his throat and straightened himself up a little bit. "Well, I'd like to apologize to the both of you for last night. You see it was my first night here, and I thought I would do some one-man celebrating... which turned out to be a horrendous idea. Anyway, I didn't mean to offend either one of you and I apologize. As for introductions, my name is Fiyero Tigelaar, Prince of the Vinkus and the newest member of your fine school." He gave a small bow, waiting for a reaction from either of the two women, yet getting nothing but steely glances he straightened up again. "Of course.. well, I believe this is yours." He handed Galinda the shoe she'd left behind when her and Elphaba had ran away the night before.
Galinda took the shoe, and looked at it for a moment, thinking it was awfully nice of him to bring it back personally. "Thank you.." she muttered.
"Of course - I wouldn't such a spoiled brat not to bring it back and give my apologies in person." He nodded before looking over to Elphaba and smiling slightly. "Nice, right-hook by the way. You got me pretty good."
The green girl stood with her arms over her chest and just grunted, not taking her menacing gaze away for a moment.
Fiyero gulped, but smiled back down at Galinda again. "Well, you have a good night, and I hope you two forgive me for last night.. Goodbye."
Galinda gave a small smile, and closed the door as he started walking away. Elphaba was already heading back over to the bed by the time she turned around.
"Elphaba, we have a prince going to our school!" Galinda giggled.
Elphaba didn't look up. "Wonderful. Another pretty-boy who no doubt thinks he's entitled to everything he wants and then some."
"You don't know that. He could be very nice.. he just brought my shoe back and apologized to us in person."
"He probably just wants to get on your good side, so he can take advantage of you." Elphaba looked up at her. "Don't give him too much credit."
Galinda furrowed her brow. "You of all people shouldn't make judgements on people you don't know. What if he's a wonderful person and could be a very good friend to us?"
The green girl just shook her head, pushing herself up on her bed. "No, Galinda.. people raised like that are spoiled and think they deserve things without having to work for them. He most likely abuses the resources he's given and then asks for more. No one brought up in such lavish surroundings have much depth to them an-"
"Like me?" Galinda asked. Maybe she'd been wrong with whole time? Maybe Elphaba wasn't at all what she thought she was.
She saw Elphaba's face fall into a state of realization. "Galinda, that's not what I-"
There were the same series of knocks on the door as there were before.
Galinda went over to the door, pulling it open again and seeing the same face on the other side of the doorway. She let herself smile a little, if only to be polite and not be assuming.
Fiyero took a breath. "I'm sorry for bothering you again, but you are very beautiful. In fact I think you might be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I think I would like to take you out sometime - that is if you'd want to go with me. I understand we didn't meet under the most ideal circumstances but please trust when I say that that was very out of character for me and I don't plan on-"
"Yes."
The young man was taken aback. "What?"
Galinda nodded. "Yes, I will allow you to escort me on a date." She smiled, yet at the same time she felt a sort of pulling knotting feeling inside of her stomach. But she ignored it.
"Wu-well, uhm... How does tomorrow night at around six sound?"
The blonde nodded, smile still perfectly in tact. "I'll be ready."
"Alright." He smiled charmingly.
He waved his goodbye and accepted Galinda's small nod of acknowledgement before hurrying down the hallway.
The smaller girl closed the door and stayed there for a moment, trying to understand what she was feeling. To go on a date with a prince - that was exciting no matter how you would spin it, but something wasn't right.
There was a rustling on the other side of the room.
Galinda turned around quickly, finding Elphaba shoving the crackers away in the drawer they came from and putting away all of her things quickly.
"Elphaba..." Galinda started.
The green girl didn't look at her friend. "It's getting late. We should go to bed."
"Are you alright?"
Elphaba didn't answer, she just whirled around the room, tidying up all of her own things and went to her bed. Galinda stood in the middle of the room watching her friend avoiding her.
The green girl picked up a book and sat down with it, not bothering with her covers.
"Elphie, what's-"
"Goodnight, Galinda." She didn't even look up from her book.
The smaller girl felt tears rising in her vision, but didn't make a sound. Instead of fighting, she just went to her own bed and cocooned herself in blankets and waited for the lights to be turned off. But she couldn't hold out that long, her tears came down silently, and all she could do was try her best not to cry too loudly or let her body shake too much.
She shouldn't have said yes to Fiyero, but maybe it would take her mind off of Elphaba? Maybe he could be a good distraction, and he seemed nice enough. By no means would he compare to the green girl, but he was... handsome?
When the light was clicked off, Galinda only curled herself into a ball a little more and clamped her eyes shut, hoping desperately for sleep.
