A/N: Just wanted to thank each and every person for reading. These characters are such a pleasure to write for and I am so appreciative that you guys are all willing to read it.

This chapter is a hard Teen rating for cursing, verbal harassment, and drug abuse.

Chapter Song Title: "Sober" - Demi Lovato


Over the weeks since I found that prescription bottle, my life had both come together and entirely fallen apart. The anxiety surrounding my dad's death was down and in fact, I rarely even thought of him unless I focused intensely on the whole thing. But the anxiety surrounding my relationships, with friends and family and Alison, were on the decline. No, nothing had actually happened yet. No one had found me out, but I could feel myself declining. I could feel the foundation cracking. I could feel my foundation cracking.

My favorite activity of the week, other than spending every moment I could with my loving girlfriend, was always Sunday afternoon coffee with Hanna. It was an institution that lasted the entirety of our friendship. Even during college, we met up on Skype or FaceTime every Sunday at 2 (Chicago time) with coffee in our hands. Hanna was the only person who knew the full extent of my previous stint on pills, so I knew that I couldn't take as much as I had been to see her.

She was the one link to my past whose relationship had never changed. This was both a good thing and a bad thing because she could see past the bullshit. On most days was a good thing, but on a day like today, seeing past the bullshit was the last thing I needed her to do.

Sitting out front of The Brew, I pulled down the vanity mirror to double check my makeup. One of the side effects I wasn't planning, along with the frequency to wake up with night sweats, were deep bags under my eyes. I sighed knowing that the prescriptions I never used after my surgery were quickly running out. I had told myself that I would only use them as a temporary solution so that I didn't have to rely so heavily on Alison, but as the days continued on, I knew this solution would be anything but temporary.

It wasn't that I ever actually felt high, per se. Instead, they just allowed me to breathe lighter. I could go through my daily motions without having to fake it; the pills were faking it for me. But I knew I was betraying my girlfriend. I was abandoning her trust every time I reached for the screw off top. I closed my eyes knowing that I was hiding from Hanna, too.

My single deep breath was interrupted mid-inhale as Hanna ferociously knocked on my driver's side window, "What the hell are you prepping for in there, Em?" she screamed through the closed door.

"Damn, Han. I was just trying to release some stress." I stumbled over my words getting out of the car, rubbing my nose to distract from the lies pouring out of my mouth.

"Ooh, problems in paradise?" Hanna questioned over her shoulder as she opened the door for both of us.

I shook my head, trying to come up with a reason, "No, everything with Alison is fine. I just have a lot going through my head."

"Cool." Hanna nodded, unassured, "How about you go find us a seat? I'll grab us drinks and food! What do you want today?"

I waved my hand in her direction, "Don't worry about it. I'm really not hungry today. Must be the stress."

Walking toward the table, I noticed my hand subtlely beginning to shake, another side effect I hadn't anticipated. I placed my hands flat on the table, making eye contact with Hanna to give her a confident smile before reaching over to squeeze the pulse point between my thumb and pointer finger. It was the only help I had found for this reaction and tended to be my solution even when I felt my hand starting to tremble while holding Alison's. I had noticed the looks she had been giving me any time I pulled away, but her being pissed about me not holding her hand as much was better than her being pissed about another loved one taking painkillers.

"So what's new Em?" Hanna asked, plopping down at her seat across from me, pushing an Americano toward me.

I sniffled as I pushed the coffee back her direction, before composing myself to continue the conversation as normal as I could, "Um, not much really. I was just working on setting goals for myself throughout the week, you know?"

Not fully a lie. I was trying to set new goals to evade questions from friends and family, but none of those were productive. They were goals like counting the number of steps to get from one side of the house to the other and sleeping for as long as I could before Alison attempted to wake me up.

"Yeah, I remember Ali really needing those…" her voice fell off a bit, "Spence used to tell me all about them. I'm sure it can get sometimes tiring though, with Alison always making sure you're okay?"

"Sometimes, I guess." I replied, trying not to make direct contact, "I'm ready to just find the new normal."

Hanna nodded in my direction, hoping for me to elaborate. She readjusted herself in her chair when she realized I wasn't going to respond to the extent she had expected, "The new normal? Like going back to school, I guess."

'Shit.' I thought internally, knowing that with August being 4 short weeks away, people were bound the start asking about school again. I wiped my nose, coughing lightly before responding, "Uh, no. I wasn't planning on going back…" I dropped my voice at the end of my sentence, hoping that it would come off casual and not depressed.

"Woah, no. Rewind. You're not 'planning on going back' for your Senior year of college?" Hanna mimicked my speech, duplicating precisely what I did not want to occur when I made this news known.

I tucked my hair before my face, knowing that I needed to stick behind what I wanted to do, "No, I need to stay here. Be with my mom." I looked at Hanna, hoping my directness would have her stop asking me questions.

"So you are trying to tell me that you are not returning to college, where you are BEING PAID to swim. A sport that you love. So that you can finish out school here in Rosewood at God-knows-where."

"No, I'm not going back, Hanna, to any school. It's not that hard to get."

"You're telling me this as though Ali's okay with it, but you haven't even told her, have you?" Hanna stared me down catching me in the most significant controversy of this decision.

I squeezed between my fingers even more tightly than before, my leg bouncing up and down from being confronted, "I was waiting for the right time…"

She laughed, "The right time? The right time?!" Her voice progressively getting louder, "You're waiting for the right time to tell your girlfriend of almost 5 years that you are not going to back to Chicago with her in a few weeks where you both are supposed to be moving into an apartment together, after 3 years of not living in the same part of town?"

"I mean when you put it like that…" I knew Hanna was making valid points, but I was becoming increasingly more agitated in her confronting me.

"Put it like what, Em? You sound insane! I get that you're going through some shit, but you shouldn't be making decisions like this so quickly."

That was it. I stood up, tired of people attempting to tell me what to do with my life, "I sound insane?" I pointed my finger at her, noticing the light trembling, but ignoring it to get my point across, "My fucking father died. You don't have a right to tell me what decisions I can make and which ones I can't. If I want to take my time to tell Alison, then you need to respect that. I am making choices for my future that are best for me. Don't act like you know what's best."

As I finally took a breath, I realized that Hanna had pushed herself backward in her chair to move away from the harshness of my voice, "It was just a suggestion, Em. Sorry for hitting a soft spot. I was just trying to help."

I scoffed before walking out the door, "Next time you're looking to help, don't."

I muttered curse words underneath my breath as I walked away from Hanna. That is not how I wanted the first time telling someone that I didn't want to go back to school to go. I had expected push back, but it was what was best for me. I needed to be near my mom and near my dad, no matter how far away from me they currently felt.

Alison would understand. We had done long distance before. Yes, that distance was 20 miles, but even then she was always there for me. This would be just the same. We would be okay; she could still come to my rescue if needed.

Right?


Even though I gave her permission for this to happen, I was still pissed. The transition of going to two different universities was always going to be hard to tackle, but until the swimming season official started, it appeared as though Emily was going to find the separation near impossible.

The drive from Loyola to UChicago was never trying to make but knowing that I had to leave my Freshman year opening mixer with other students in my major and faculty to go pick up my wasted girlfriend from a party that was who knows where made me seethe. I kept repeating that I needed to be grateful she called me. I needed to be thankful that she didn't attempt to drive, or find someone else who could.

Pulling up to the address sent to me by one of her friends, I kept repeating under my breath, "You love her. You love her. You love her."

Adjusting the dress I was wearing to ensure it fully covered my ass as I got out of the car, I already regretted not going back to my dorm to throw on some pants. It was just perfect that I was going from a function that required me to get all dolled up because the men sitting on the front lawn obviously believed I had dressed up just for them.

'Hey, beautiful! That's a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?'

'Oooh baby, if I flipped a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?'

My brain stopped processing anything after those two Neanderthals. I was here on a mission, and as much as I would have loved to have time to turn around and give them a taste of their own bullshit, I knew that Emily needed me more than I needed to mouth off. Opening the front door, I was immediately met with a kitchen full of students and liquor. I exchanged some hellos and continued my way through the party. The music was too loud. The rooms were too full.

Looking back and forth attempting to figure out where the hell my girlfriend was, I finally saw a familiar face, "Ali! She's over here!"

I uncomfortably smiled walking over to Emily's friend, Ava, "Hey." I shrugged, "Thanks for helping me get here. Where is she?"

"We got her into a bedroom because she was falling all over the place." Ava continued, leading me down a hallway further back in the house.

"How did this even happen? You seem fine…" I asked, concerned for Emily's sake.

"Oh yeah, I only started drinking when we got here. Em, on the other hand, pre-gamed with some other girls from our dorm too. They didn't make it out because well, you know." She attempted to justify the Emily I was about to see on the other side of the door. Opening it slowly, her last words to me were, "Just don't be mad at her, okay?"

I laughed in Ava's face pushing the door open, as she had no real clue of who I was. But opening the door, I realized why she wanted me to clear my head. There was Emily splayed across a bed in only her bra and underwear, her head hanging off of one side as her legs went two different directions. Her make- up was smudged though it was unclear if that was due to crying or some incident from the night I may never know. Her mouth hung open and the only clear cut sign of her still being alive was the deep heaving of breaths coming from her lifeless body.

"We tried to get her back into the dress, but she won't put it on again." Ava stuttered from behind me.

"And why not?" I snapped, as Emily began to mumble from the bed.

"She vomited on it…" Words that Ava attempted to hide by turning completely around back toward the bedroom door.

I scoffed, waving my hands walking to the door myself, "Perfect! Thanks. Leave it all to me, I guess." I commented sarcastically, pushing the door closed, and locking it behind me.

Walking over to the bed, I sat down next to Emily's head, "Oh, Em…" I sighed, pushing her hair out of her face, "What'd you do, babe?"

Hearing my voice directed to her, she turned to face me. Her eyes opened less than halfway, and the shape of her mouth immediately indicated the slurs that were to follow, "Yay… you made it."

"Yeah, Em, thank you for inviting me. We're gonna need to get you dressed now, okay?" Even with the sharp tone I just had with Ava, looking here at Emily helpless and still, oh so cute, I couldn't help but raise my voice an octave higher and help her out. Anger could come tomorrow.

Emily pushed, or at least attempted to push, her way up onto my lap, curling her legs into a ball behind her, "I can't. I… ruined it."

Her voice trailed off as I looked around the room trying to figure out how to get her back into her dress. I stood up, hoping that I could rinse it off in the sink, when Emily began turning and speaking again, "I'm sorry, Ali. I made you drive all this way and onl…" she attempted to stand in her heels, causing her ankle to quickly give way as she stumbled to the floor.

"Woah, there beautiful," I exclaimed, catching her around the waist, so she didn't fall on her face.

Standing back up, she fell toward my chest, "I'm sorry." She said again, this time getting inches away from my face.

I laughed while still holding her up, "Thank you for calling me. Can you help me get you dressed?"

She nodded, while I escorted her to the restroom so she could sit on the toilet while propping herself on the wall. I spent a few minutes cleaning off her dress, which apparently none of the girls she had known for less than a month were willing to do, before turning around to find Emily looking right at me.

"Why do… you look so hot tonight?" she pointed at my dress a little off center from where I was actually standing.

"Here, let's get up for a minute." I stated, wrapping Emily's left arm around my shoulders before calling out, "Okay, ready? We're going to stand. One, Two, Three, Go." Even with me doing much of the heavy lifting, I was able to get Emily up and started walking her back over the bed before continuing, "And Em, I look so hot tonight because I was at the mixer tonight. Do you remember that was happening?"

Effectively ignoring my statement, Emily sat up on the bed, slumped at the waist to her right, "If you were here, I would have hit on you."

I chuckled while starting to bunch her dress up around the neck and armholes so that I could pull it over here head, "I am here, silly."

She put her hand toward my mouth as if to shush me, "No, at the party tonight."

"Baby, we're still at the party tonight. Raise your hands, okay?"

Emily worked on holding her head somewhat level while also keeping her arms above her head as I shimmied the dress down her tanned and fit body.

"If I wasn't drunk… I could have my way with you." She stuttered, clumsily walking around the bedroom while attempting to bend over to pick up her purse.

"Oh! Let's not do that!" I replied, barely catching both Emily's arm and the back of her dress which was attempting to show off a little more of her ass than I needed the public to see, "Em? We're not going to bend over anymore tonight while we're here, okay?"

She nodded before continuing her previous thought, "I would have told you about your eyes." She spun her way around to face me, putting her hands around me.

After all of the excitement thus far, I decided I would play along for a few more minutes, "My eyes? That's sweet."

"Yeah, I could have said they look the best in that other shirt you have… it's blue too." She smiled and laughed silently at herself as if she had made a joke.

"How would you know about my pretty blue shirt if you were just meeting me at the party though, Em?"

She looked at me confused, "It's in your closet door thing. You wore it."

Realizing how pointless this was, I gave up, "Oh, you're right. I would've told you 'Thank you.'"

"See? You would fall for me… if not drunk." She began closing her point, but instead of focusing on me, her eyes were now entirely centered on my chest.

I put my finger underneath her chin, lifting it up as I spoke, "Emily? My eyes are up here. You know it's rude to stare." I finished my sentence as we began turning toward the door to leave.

"But I love you… and you're my girlfriend." She attempted to lean to her left to kiss me despite us walking forward.

"Okay, killer, let's stop one second." I commented while Emily jostled around to get her footing again, "You are right about both of those things though." I kissed her briefly, "And I love you."

She leaned in a second time, dragging her hand up my back to hold my head against her lips forcefully, "Woah, woah, woah." I leaned away sputtering, "I get that you're trying to 'have your way with me,' but Em, it's not going to happen tonight, okay?"

She nodded and put her head on my shoulder as I led her out through the party and out the front door. I rolled my eyes before even stepping foot onto the grass knowing that I was going back into the line of fire.

'Dude, look! Two fine pieces of ass leaving together!'

'You ladies need a third?'

"Emily, ignore them," I muttered harshly toward her as we walked, or stumbled, to the car. She turned her head to look at them before looking back at me to speak.

"I think they're jealous." She replied as I opened my passenger's door to help her in, "It's because I'm going home with the hot one." She slapped my ass for good measure, sending the boys behind us heads rolling.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right babe." I ushered her into the car quickly wanting this 30 seconds of my life to end, "Put on your seatbelt."

Closing the door behind her, I turned back around facing the men on the grass, rolling my eyes again before beginning to walk around the car.

"Hey! Can you answer a question for me?" One of the douches on steroids shouted, my head popping up to look at him, "Who fucks who?"

"What?" I looked disgustfully back at him, hoping I had woefully misunderstood.

"You heard me! When you are in bed together," he started reframing the sentence and speaking with more emphasis, as if I were an idiot, "How do you decide who will be the man? Who? Fucks? Who?"

I started walking back around my car, holding a finger up to Emily indicating for her to wait briefly as she looked out the window utterly confused, "Do I know you?" I asked while walking closer.

"No?" He began to stutter, recognizing that my pace was actually increasing after I asked, "I don't think so."

Marching right up in front of him, staring nearly straight up as he was an entire head taller than me, I continued, "Then what gives you the damn right to make any comment in my direction?"

His friends all 'ooh'd' around him. "I just thought tha…" he attempted to continue.

"No, you didn't fucking think. Because if you had, you would have realized what an idiotic question that is! What I choose to do with my girlfriend will never be any of your damn business!"

He stepped a little closer to me, getting some courage, "And what are you gonna do about it, bitch." He spoke up under his breath so I was the only person who could fully hear.

"Tonight, nothing, because my girlfriend needs me to take her home," I started backing away, "But if I see you again, and I hope to God I don't, and you even try to speak to either me or her, it will be the last time you ever insult a woman."

I turned around to walk back to the car as the imbecile I was speaking to walked back to sit in his lawn chair. As I approached my car door though, I looked back at him to finish, "And don't be an idiot! Get a new construct in your head of gender roles, and while you're at it, look up some lesbian porn… it seems like you might learn a thing or two!"

As soon as I sat in the car, I took a deep breath hoping to fight off the shaking that was beginning to take over due to adrenaline.

"You okay?" Emily asked, rolling her head over toward me.

I reached over to hold her hand as we pulled away, "Yeah babe, we're fine."

It took a quick drive across campus to get Emily back to her dorm room, where we used a side entrance to avoid the front desk officer on duty. It appeared as though Emily's roommate was out for the night based on her bed being made but empty when we got inside. I laid Emily down on the bed as I walked back over to the sink in her room to begin taking my make up off.

From her curled up position, Emily began speaking again, "You know, Al?" she paused, waiting for me to reply.

"What is it?"

"No, no, come sit… on my… on the bed. I want to see your eyes."

"Okay…" I groaned, dragging the make-up wipe along with me as I took a seat at the end of her bed. I took hold of her hand that was fully extended and grasping for mine. "What is it?"

"Someday, Alison…" I tilted my head when she paused again, "Someday, I'm gonna marry the fuck out of you."

I belly laughed, "Oh you are, are you?"

Her eyes closed as she smiled and nodded, "Yeah, so hard."

I stood up and placed a kiss on her temple, "Well, I'm so happy to hear that. I was worried there for a minute…"

"Worried! Why?" she asked exasperatedly, obviously not getting the sarcasm weaved through my statement.

Peeling my dress off in front of her before grabbing a shirt from her dresser, I replied, "No, of course, I'm not worried, Em."

I unhooked my bra to toss on the floor and then crawled into her bed. Emily draped herself over me as she kept talking, "Good. Because you really gave that man some shit. It was really hot."

"I'm happy you think so," I replied, lacing my hand with hers next to my face, "Just so you know, I plan on marrying you too."

"You do! Oh, good. That's really good, Al." I closed my eyes as Emily continued talking behind me, pausing between every few words, "I thought you'd be mad to pick me up. But you were nice. Thank you. I got lucky. You love me, and you're hot. Like really hot. Did I know how hot you were even yesterday? Man, I can't wait for morning so I can put moves on you then. Cause you told me to stop and I listen to my girlfriend. I am lucky. You are hot and feisty and want to marry me. I got drunk and hit the jackpot. That's good. I lucked out…"

As her mumbling faded and was replaced with deep breaths and heavy snores, I reflected on everything Emily had said. She was quite the amenable drunk, but she was wrong about one thing in her statement…Out of the two of us, I was definitely the lucky one.


Since Emily and I had reunited, Sunday afternoon tended to be my time to be alone. Even with Jason in the picture, I always felt as though I was an only child, whether that be how my mom doted on me or how my dad ignored me. So for as much as I loved any time I could spend with Emily, it's only competition was being alone. Typically, I would go get my nails done, squeeze in a back massage, or focus on cleaning the house. Just little things that renewed my spirit for the new week and reminded me of my appreciation for Emily's love and Hanna's consistency.

The same was true for Emily after the events from Thursday; it was my biggest hope that Emily just needed someone else by her side other than me to get through this weird phase of denial and impulse. She had become distant but in the realm of being directly in front of you and yet paying no attention to you. Her name had to be called more than once to snap her out of her constant daydream. In moments with lulls, she no longer reached for my hand.

So it was my sincerest hope that when she returned home today, she would duplicate every coming home that had previously occurred after talking to Hanna. Whether at home or away at school, Emily would leave her talks with Hanna and come find me for our Sunday date night. The door would open, and she would scamper to wherever I was talking as fast as she possibly could to tell me everything about Rosewood, our friends, and Hanna and Caleb's relationship. Any previous anxieties or turmoil would melt away.

It was my deepest hope that Emily would open that front door and call out for me as she always did. But this Sunday, around the time I would usually hear Emily's key in my door, I heard my phone ring, instead.

As I flipped over my phone to the front screen and saw Hanna's name, I immediately wondered if Emily had left her phone at home and needed to ask me something, so she used Hanna's. But as I placed the phone up to my ear to speak, I immediately regretted answering it in the first place. Not because I had any ill-feelings toward speaking to Hanna, but because it confirmed my suspicions all along.

"Hey baby, you leave your ph-" I was interrupted by Hanna's voice.

"Alison. It's Hanna, not Emily. I…I need to talk to you." Her voice sounded worried as if she was on the verge of tears.

"Okay? Are you alright? Is Emily still there?" I stood up from the kitchen island increasingly concerned with whatever was to follow.

"No! She just stormed out of here, and I need you to just listen, okay? I have to tell you this before she gets home because I don't think I did what was best for her last time and with how much you love her and will always be there for her, I just feel guilty and know that this time around I can't do that again. I can't put her ahead of what she needs most. Even if this breaks you, Al, you can't let it break your relationship, okay?" She rambled in circles for what felt like minutes at a time.

"Hanna? What the hell are you trying to tell me?" My voice becoming increasingly agitated with the trajectory of the conversation.

"There's something wrong with Emily."


A/N: What a chapter. I loved looking at college Emison and drunk Emily, who of course could only be adorable and loving.

Coming up: Two arguments; one past and one present. And if you think Emily will get out this situation easily... think again.

Also, in attempts to appropriately cover a prescription drug addiction, I've had to do quite a bit of research on symptoms, effects, how long it takes symptoms to show, etc. and I can only assume that whomever is in charge of looking at my Google history is deeply concerned with my well-being. haha Just thought you guys might get a kick out of my inner thoughts.

Love you all! Please leave reviews! It truly does help me know your thoughts on the world I'm creating for these characters.

Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.

-secretpen28