A/N: Hey guys! This is central to Chuck, it's all his thoughts and opinions on Blair leaving him after a three/four year relationship. BUT I've just had a brainwave (this happens rarely just saying so you all understand how excited I am!). It involves doing a piece of writing using the same layout as this (and the same storyline) but Blair-centric. Wow. I'm excited now. Anyway… I really hope you all like it, and thank you for all the amazing reviews! Oh, and I know this is short, but it's only the first part! J keep a look-out for the next instalment!
It's a love story, baby just say yes.
~Taylor Swift~
It's been a year since Blair left Chuck. To him, It hurts as though it was yesterday.
His heart is still raw, broken into millions of shards. But despite everything, he doesn't blame Blair. She had ever right to leave him. God, he would even leave himself if he could!
Chuck Bass was never one for regrets, but he most definitely regrets loosing Blair. It was all his own fault. If he hadn't been an uncompassionate bastard, maybe she would have stayed.
He knows he shouldn't have slept with all those girls that night in Brooklyn. But it made him forget the broken fiancée he had left at home; the tears that always seemed to be trailing down her cheeks; the sadness that filled the apartment they shared like poisonous gas.
But now, as he sits on his bed, drinking yet another bottle of scotch (the third that night) he realises just how much he misses her.
He still remembers lines from the letter she wrote him- no, he remembers the whole thing. He's kept it, even after all this time. And it still hurts even now.
I hope one day you feel the pain you have given me repeatedly.
Blair's prayer has clearly been answered. But, Chuck thinks with a bitter smile, she wouldn't care now anyway. She hates him, like everyone else he's ever known. But since she's been gone, he's been a mess. He's no longer the ferocious lion afraid of love- he's a quite little mouse, retreating from everyone until he has nobody left.
It hurts Chuck that she's moved on. Especially that she has moved on to his ex best friend. But- he consoles himself- Nate will treat her good. If he doesn't, he'll kill him.
Chuck winced. Of course Nate treats her better than he ever did; otherwise she would be marrying him.
Nate and I are getting married- get over it.
That line brought tears to Chuck's eyes. Still does now. That was in the most recent letter she had sent to him.
When he had first found out, he had been angry. Angry at Nate for marrying the love of his love; angry at Blair for leaving him for his best friend. But most of all, he was angry at himself he still is. But slowly, his anger is evaporating into sadness, depression.
I don't love you anymore Chuck. I never will, not after everything you have done.
He had always been a selfish bastard who cared about nobody but himself. He had never loved until he met Blair. He is positive he will never love anyone again. It sounds silly to most twenty three year olds, but none of them have ever loved like he has. He doubts that Nate loves Blair as much as he does. How could anybody love as strongly as he? It seems utterly absurd to him.
No matter what Blair states, he refuses to believe she doesn't love him. He won't ever believe it; not until the day he dies.
I will never forgive you.
Chuck can do nothing but pray that she's lying.
But, as he flicks through the New York Times and see's a piece about Blair and Nate's upcoming wedding, he feels a knot in his stomach.
Blair isn't lying to him. Maybe in the beginning she was, but not anymore.
The realization hits him like a ton of bricks. Tears prick behind his eyes and he digs his nails into his palm to stem the pain in his heart. So far, it isn't working.
Nothing will ever stop him from hurting.
He's going to die a lonely, depressed old man- just like Blair told him he would, back before they fell for each other.
Fuck.
He's a twat- he can see that clearly.
No amount of alcohol, no amount of crying, no amount of sex will ever change anything.
He's too late.
It's all over; up in flames that nobody will ever bother putting out.
Because Chuck Bass isn't important. Nobody cares about him.
