7. forever

She speaks of staying in the troupe forever but he now realizes that what she means is that she'll stay by his side forever. The realization leaves him cold and warm at the same time. Cold because he knows this is a death sentence for the girl and he's never wanted anything like this! Warm because he's aware now—he's aware of his own feelings and he yearns to be able to promise her a different forever. But he's not sure he believes in forever…(too many deaths, too much blood spilt by his hands, he's already promised his life to the captain…his hand trembles. He feels feverish. He wonders how long he'll be able to hide the sickness that is running through his veins) and he's not sure that he has a forever to promise her.