OK, I get it. So Pi Day isn't a national holiday…Who gives a crap? It's fun! And it was Friday the 13th yesterday, so I feel like writing something to celebrate, even if Friday the 13th isn't even mentioned here.

By the way, for your edification, March 1 was National Pig Day. Don't even ask.

Standard disclaimers apply and reviews are always appreciated. Pi digits courtesy of some random Internet site.

"Are you kidding me?! Bastion's the one holding the party today?"

Zane shrugged at his little brother. "So what? Sure, he isn't usually that social, but he might be trying to reach out to people more. And in any case he's definitely not going to have a party that ends up like that Valentine's Day party that Jaden hosted."

Syrus thought for a second. "Yeah. You didn't have to maul that dog with the metal baseball bat, you know."

"It was trying to bite your head off, you know…"

"Yeah, I guess. So, why are we going to Bastion's house?"

Zane looked at the party invitation. "Pi Day."

"I must say, I'm very glad that you two came," Bastion said cheerfully as Zane and Syrus got out of their car. "I was getting a little worried that nobody sane was going to come here."

"What do you mean, nobody sane?" Syrus asked curiously. "Isn't Alexis here yet? She's normal."

"Yeah, well, you know who comes over whenever she does."

"Atticus? What's so wrong with—Oh." Syrus paled as he realized what the implications of Atticus at a party were.

"Yes. I'm afraid you two are going to have to do without your pi pies, because Chumley already ate them both…Terribly sorry."

Before the two Truesdales could reassure them that they understood, Chumley had a formidable appetite, one of those terrible explosions that always seem to happen during a GX party.

Alexis's shriek pierced the sudden silence. "JAAAAAAADEEEEEN!"

Jaden barreled out of Bastion's yard and knocked Syrus down.

"Oh my god! Sy! Sorry about that, bro!"

"Hey, nice to see ya again, Jay!" Syrus yelled happily as he gave his best friend a hug. "Did you cause that explosion we heard?"

"Yeah, he did," Blair growled angrily as she jogged up and wrenched Jaden's ear painfully.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Jaden howled.

"Yeah! Guess how he got that homemade bomb in?! He stuck it down his pants so nobody could find it just so he could test it out somewhere his parents couldn't ground him!" Blair shook her head in disgust. "I mean, what else does he have hidden down there?"

The more…sexually educated…can guess what Jaden said.

Zane goggled at Jaden. "Am I going deaf with age, or did you just say that?...Wait, on the other hand, don't answer me."

Jaden looked around, completely unaware of the emotional damage that he'd wreaked on people. "What? I'm not lying, the only other stuff I have in my pants are my ba—"

Blair hastily stuffed some chocolate down his throat to shut him up.

Meanwhile, more guests were arriving at the party. Some of the stupider people *cough* HASSLEBERRY! *cough* didn't have a clue what Pi Day was and were obviously just using this occasion as an excuse for stuffing their faces full of free food. Well, we can't blame these people. They couldn't have known because they only read the invitation, ate 10 free pi pies, practically inflated 13 pi balloons with his resulting…gas, and walked past 5 walls with digits of pi written on them.

Bluntly put, Hassleberry's a dumbass.

Because it was his definition of a special occasion, Hassleberry had decided to wear something a little more formal than his giant twelve-pack showing-off vest, army pants and boots, and dinosaur cap that smelled like Crowler's morning breath. Instead, he had a moth-eaten green beret, a much-too-tight white t-shirt, and…no pants.

Zane, Syrus, Jaden, Bastion, and Blair gaped as the dinosaur freak walked by calmly in boxers and headed straight for Chumley and whatever pi pies he, Hassleberry, and Jaden hadn't devoured. He immediately attracted Jasmine and Mindy, who ran after him screaming in admiration of his body as Alexis leaned against a wall and rubbed her temples tiredly. It was these kinds of girls that gave all women a bad name…In fact, Jaden was so disturbed he ran off howling.

As Hassleberry disappeared into a building to do hell knows what with the girls, Zane coughed pointedly, turning everyone's attention to Jim and Jesse running over to them screaming their heads off.

"Whoa, calm down chaps!" Bastion yelled. "What is it?!"

"Sartoriussugarhigh—" was all Jesse managed to gasp out before he collapsed, panting, on the grass.

Jim was in better condition from a childhood of roaming around the outback and remained standing as he spilled the entire story.

"Chumley…got a bit carried away…and challenged Sartorius to this pie-eating contest. Sartorius got…pissed and Sarina tried…to stop him, but Sartorius…was unstoppable."

"Omigod," Zane breathed. "Well where is he now?"

Jesse looked up. "Currently pole dancing."

"Sacre merde!" roared Syrus. "I didn't even know that humans could twist like that!"

"Neither did I," Bastion muttered. "Who caused this anyway?"

Jaden coughed. "Um…So I got bored and since it's a pie celebration day I told Chumley to challenge Sartorius to a contest."

Bastion sighed. "Jaden, when we talk about Pi Day we don't mean pies like the kind that you eat. We're talking about the number pi, which is the sixteenth letter in the Greek alphabet. It is the relationship between a circle's circumference and diameter, and the first five hundred digits are: 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912."

After this lecture, Bastion keeled over and fainted from lack of oxygen. He landed on top of a loudly snoring Jaden, who'd fallen asleep by the time Bastion started reciting pi.

Zane's mouth worked for a couple of minutes before he could say anything. "Geez, what could get worse?"

Syrus shrugged. "I dunno, judging by the really big explosion and yell of 'MOTHERFUCK!' that just happened something worse probably did happen. Besides, I've got a feeling that someone who causes a hell of a lot of trouble hasn't appeared yet…"

"Yeah," his brother agreed. "Who could it be?"

Loud monkey screeches suddenly triggered something in the Truesdales' brains at the same time.

"Holy shit," Zane breathed. "Atticus."