Chapter Seven
As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.
The rest of their month in Edinburgh passed very quickly, and soon it was time for them to board the ship back to Australia. Jean was torn between staying in Edinburgh, the city that she loved, and returning to Australia, where Edward was. Eventually, she decided not to say anything about her wish to remain in Edinburgh to Teddy, but held her tongue, and they returned to Australia as planned.
They were met by Edward at the pier when they returned from Edinburgh. As soon as she saw him, she knew that she had made the right decision not to tell Teddy that she wished to remain in Edinburgh, because she knew that she would not be happy without Edward. She could not believe that she had disliked him so intensely when they had first met. Jean now knew that she had been wrong to dislike him, because he was the one person who loved her more than anything. Yes, Teddy loved her – she knew that – but he did not love her and cherish her above all others, like Edward did. And yes, her sons loved her, and she loved them – but they did not love her in the way she needed – nor did she want them to love her like that. But she needed that love from somewhere, and Edward was there to provide it.
They walked down the gangplank to the pier, Jean's eyes locked with Edward's as she walked closer to him. She had not seen him for nearly three months, nearly a quarter of a year, and she had not realised, until she laid eyes on him again, how much she had missed him, and how much she loved him.
"Hello, Edward," Jean said, smiling as he embraced her, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek.
"Hello, Jean," he replied, beaming down at her. "How was Edinburgh?"
"Wonderful," Jean replied, a wistful expression on her face. "Just wonderful."
Jean felt a tug at her hand. "Mummy, I'm tired; can we go home?" William asked her.
"Of course, darling," she said, picking him up. Jean, Teddy, Duncan, William, and Edward headed to Edward's car, and he drove them back to their house. Jean brought her two children up to bed, while Teddy went out for a drink. Edward helped her with the children, and, once they were asleep, they went downstairs.
"So you enjoyed your time in Edinburgh?" Edward asked her.
"Oh, yes," she replied. "Especially because we did not have worry about Sandy. Oh, Edward, I hadn't realised how much I had missed Edinburgh! I wanted to ask Teddy if we could move back there permanently."
"Why didn't you, if you missed it so much?" Edward asked her sadly.
"Because I couldn't leave you, Edward," Jean said. "And when we arrived back in Australia, and I saw you waiting on the dock for us, I knew that I made the right choice. I hadn't realised how much I loved you until I saw you waiting for us. Edward, I could never leave Australia permanently unless you were with me," she said. "I love you, Edward," she said, leaning into his embrace.
"Oh, Jean, I love you too," he whispered. She smiled up at him and pulled him down for a kiss.
A few minutes later, she pulled back. "I love you, Edward," she said again. "I love you so much."
"Oh, Jean," he whispered, nuzzling her hair. "I love you. I am so glad that decided to come back," he told her.
"I came back for you, Edward," she replied.
"I am glad, Jean," he said.
She smiled up at him once more before yawning. "Oh, I am sorry," she said, covering her mouth with her hand.
"It's all right, Jean; you've had a long journey, and I wouldn't expect you not to be tired," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"All right, Edward," she said, yawning again. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he replied. She stood up and gave him one final kiss.
"Good night."
"Good night."
Teddy stumbled in at three o'clock in the morning, waking up his wife.
"Teddy, where have you been?" she asked him.
"At the bar," he said, collapsing on the bed. "Ugh, I feel rough."
"Teddy, we've got to talk," she said.
"Can't it wait until the morning?" he asked, slurring his words.
"All right," she sighed, agreeing reluctantly.
"Good night," he said, and rolled over, falling asleep almost immediately.
She could not fall back asleep, but rolled out of bed, rummaging in her locked nightstand drawer for the box of letters from Edward. She walked downstairs to the living room and opened the box, pulling out at random a letter from Edward.
Darling Jean,
Happy birthday, my love. I hope that you have the best day ever. I cannot believe that it has been nearly seven years since we first met, and every day you grow even more beautiful than the day before. You are so wonderful, my dearest, and I am so grateful to be a part of your life.
I love you, and I will love you forever.
Edward
Jean burst into tears. Why did she continue to choose Teddy over Edward? Why did she continue to love Teddy over Edward? Edward could give her everything – love, a home, a stable life... while Teddy only caused her pain. She loved both of them, loved them both so much. She did not know what to do – she honestly did not. She thought that she should leave Teddy and go to Edward – that might be best for the children – but she was not sure. Wouldn't it be best for her children to have a home with their real father? And Teddy was a good father, he truly was... when he was not drunk. And she knew that he loved their children, and knew that he loved her. But Edward loved her sons as well, and loved her so much, much more than Teddy loved her. She did not know what to do. Sighing, she put the letters from Edward back in their box, and went up to her bedroom. Locking the box in the drawer, she slipped beneath the covers. Teddy turned towards her in his sleep. She smiled down at him, her heart overflowing with love despite herself. She loved him, loved him so much, and she knew, deep down, that she would never leave him.
The next morning, when Jean woke up, her husband was gone. There was a note on the nightstand, attached to a red rose. Jean opened the note.
Good morning, my darling. I am sorry that we'll have to postpone our talk, but the National Art School rang, wanting me to meet with them immediately. We can talk when I get back.
I love you, Jean.
Teddy.
Jean smiled as she picked up the rose, holding it to her nose. She set it back down again and climbed out of bed. Picking up her dressing gown, she slipped into it and walked downstairs. She could hear her two sons laughing as she entered the living room. They were playing with Duncan's train set, and Edward was there as well.
"Good morning," Jean said, and her sons and Edward looked up.
"Good morning, Mummy!" her two boys cried, standing up and rushing towards her to give her a hug.
"Good morning, darlings," she said, kissing each of them on their foreheads.
"Good morning, Jean," Edward said, smiling at her.
"Good morning, Edward," she replied.
"The boys have already had breakfast, and the maids left a tray for you here," he said, gesturing to a covered tray on the coffee table.
"Thank you," she said, walking over to the couch. The boys went back to their trains while Edward joined her on the couch, pouring her a cup of tea while she loaded her plate with eggs, bacon, and potatoes. "Thank you," she said again, taking the cup of tea from Edward.
"Where's Teddy this morning?" he asked.
"He left me a note, saying that the National Art School rang and asked him to come over immediately," she said. "I wonder why?"
"Maybe they want him to do an exhibition," Edward said.
"That would be lovely," Jean said. "Then he won't have to travel, like the last time."
"Yes, that would," he said, squeezing her hand lightly. She smiled at him.
A half an hour later, Jean had finished her breakfast and went upstairs to get dressed.
"Jean!" she heard her husband call.
"Just a minute!" she called back, and finished getting dressed. Five minutes later, Jean walked down the stairs and into the living room, where her husband, his brother, and her two sons were waiting for her.
"Jean, darling, the National Art School wants me to do an exhibition for them," he said.
"Oh, that's wonderful!" she said, joining him on the couch. "Congratulations!"
"Thank you, Jean," he said. "They want me to reprise my earlier exhibition, so I'll have to set up a studio here at the house. You don't mind posing for me again, do you?" he asked.
"No, of course not!" she said. "When is your exhibition? How many portraits do they want?"
"The exhibition is in nine months, and they want ten portraits, including the first one that I painted of you," he said. "So we'll have to start tomorrow at the latest."
"All right," she agreed, smiling. "They don't want you to travel again, do they?" she asked, suddenly worried.
"No, they don't," Teddy replied.
"Good," she replied.
"I'm going to start moving my things over to the spare room, all right?" he asked, and she nodded. "Edward," he asked, turning to his cousin, "could I borrow your car?"
"Of course. Do you want some help?" he asked.
"That would be great," Teddy replied. He turned back to Jean. "We'll see you in a bit," he said to Jean.
"All right, darling," she replied.
The two men left, and Jean watched her sons play with their trains while she daydreamed.
She was so pleased that her husband was going to have another exhibition, and even more pleased that he would not have to travel this time. And they would be spending so much time together, which was wonderful.
"Mummy?" William asked her, and she pulled herself out of her daydream.
"Yes, dear?" she asked.
"When are we going back to Edinburgh?"
Jean smiled wistfully. "I don't know, darling," she said. "Maybe when you're a bit older."
"Can we move there?" Duncan asked.
"Don't you like Australia?" Jean asked.
"Yes, but I like Edinburgh too," Duncan stated. Jean smiled.
"Maybe when you have both finished school, we can move back so that you can go to university there," Jean replied.
"But that's so far away!" William pouted.
"We can always go back to visit," Jean said.
"All right," William said, pacified. The boys turned back to their trains, and Jean immersed herself in her daydream once again.
The next day, Duncan's new school year began, and Edward took William out for the day so that Jean and Teddy could work on his portraits of her for the exhibition. For the first portrait, Jean would pose in profile. She had a marvellous, majestic profile, but he had never painted it before. He truly enjoyed painting her – he had meant what he said at the awards ceremony – she was his Muse. Teddy was glad that, once more, his wife was posing for him. He did love her, after all, even though he was attracted to other women at times. He did love her, loved her so much, but it was not in his nature to remain faithful. He was always susceptible to the attentions of women, but no other woman would ever capture his heart the way that she had, so many years ago. Jean was the love of his life, and no one would ever replace her. Painting her was a way for him to show her his love, which was so hard for him to express.
January came, and with January came Jean's forty-third birthday. For her birthday, which was on a Saturday, Jean spent the day with her family – Teddy, Duncan, William, and Edward. Duncan and William had helped the cook bake a cake, and they each had made a card for their mother. William and Duncan had also each drawn a picture for her; Duncan's was of his mother, reading a book, and William's was of their family. Duncan had also included a short essay he wrote about his mother, and he read it to her.
"My mummy is the most wonderful mummy in the world. She is the prettiest woman I have ever seen, and the nicest. She is good at cooking. My mummy likes to read to us and play with us. She is the best person in the world, and I love her a lot. Without my mummy, I would be very sad. She is my favourite person in the whole wide world, and I am very glad that she is my mummy."
"Thank you, darling," Jean said, dabbing away at her tears. "I loved it."
Edward had gotten her a beautiful diamond brooch. "Oh, it's lovely," she said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you."
Teddy had forgotten her birthday, and therefore did not have a gift.
"I'm sorry, Jean," he apologised. "I forgot; I suppose that I've been too wrapped up in the exhibition."
She forced herself to smile, though her heart was breaking. "It's all right, Teddy," she told him.
He smiled at her, relieved. He did not realise that that hurt her even more.
"Now, when do I get to blow out the candles?" Jean asked her sons, forcing herself to be cheerful.
Later that night, when she was in bed with her husband, she began to sob. Little did she know that her husband was still awake, not asleep as she had thought. He did nothing, but laid still and listened to her cry, his heart aching. He knew that it was his fault that she was crying, but he did not know what to say to make it better. She finally cried herself to sleep, clutching her pillow to her chest. He laid awake the rest of the night.
The next morning, Jean woke up to an empty bed. It was still quite early, so she did not know where Teddy could be. She got dressed and walked to the spare room, the room her husband was using as his studio. He was not there either. Feeling utterly forlorn and forgotten, Jean wandered downstairs, only to find her husband sitting at the breakfast table, waiting for her. A small wrapped box was sitting on top of her plate.
"Happy belated birthday, my darling," he said, standing up and walking over to her. He bent down and kissed her. Placing his hand on her back, he guided her to her seat, pulling out the chair for her. "Open your present, darling," he urged her, and she did. The wrapping paper fell away to reveal a golden locket; she opened it, revealing a picture of each of her sons.
"Thank you, Teddy," she said. "Will you help me put it on?" she asked, and he nodded, fastening the chain around her slim throat.
"I am sorry that I forgot your birthday, my love," he apologised again.
"It's all right, Teddy," she lied.
"I am sorry all the same," he said.
She smiled sadly at him, and opened her mouth to say something in response, but was interrupted by their children coming down the stairs for breakfast. Jean stood up and embraced her two sons.
"Good morning, darlings," she said. "Ready for breakfast?"
Her sons nodded and Jean rang the bell. One of the maids came in, bearing a tray filled with their breakfast.
"Thank you," Jean said as the maid set the tray down. She filled both of her sons' plates, then her husband's, and finally hers. Then her family settled down to a nice breakfast.
After breakfast, Jean, Duncan, William, and Teddy went to the studio to work on the next portrait. He had finished four already, and had six more months until his exhibition and five more portraits to finish before then.
For his fifth portrait, she was posing with their sons, reading them a book. Teddy was trying to get the boys painted in first, as neither of them liked sitting still for so long. Duncan was much better at sitting still than his brother, as he was older and had to sit still for hours at a time at school. Still, despite William's fidgeting, and despite Duncan's school schedule, the posing went well, and Teddy was able to finish the portrait in less than a month.
The rest of the portraits featured Jean, and they all finished much quicker than the one that also included their sons. Finally, it was time for his exhibition. Jean did not want to attend – she did not want to watch her husband flirt with dozens of women, just like at his award ceremony in Edinburgh. And that was indeed what happened. Jean left quite early on, and her husband did not even notice.
Edward was waiting for her at home, as he had watched the children for her. She collapsed into his arms.
"He doesn't love me, Edward," she sobbed, burying her face in his chest. He held her to him, soothing her.
"What happened?" he asked her.
"When, when we were there, he just went off and started chatting up all these other women, not even sparing me a glance. I can't take it anymore, Edward, I really can't..." she trailed off, turning her tear-stained face up to him.
He caressed her cheek. "What are you going to do?" he asked.
"I don't know, Edward," she whispered, looking utterly lost. "I can't leave him; I love him too much to leave him. But I don't know what to do."
"Whatever you do decide to do, Jean, know that I will always love you," he said.
"I know, Edward," she sighed, resting her head against his chest. "Why do you waste your time with me?"
"Because I love you, Jean," he said.
She looked up at him again. "Thank you." She stayed in his arms until she fell asleep, when he carried her up to her bedroom. With a final kiss to her lips, he left.
