Dedicated to my friend CheckeredZebra.
"The Variety Channel that's a treasure chest filled with laughter and tears!"
"Good morning to you listeners out there! This is the Variety Hour Guy and you are listening to the Variety Channel. To start the day off, let's review the weather report.
"The areas around Goldenrod City are expected to be partly cloudy with a thirty-percent chance of rain. The temperature will drop throughout the day as low as sixty-six degrees Farenheit during daylight hours. It's nice and sunny out at the eastern areas of Johto, including Blackthorn City and New Bark Town, so definitely a great day for people and Pokémon to walk out and soak up the sunshine! Olivine City and Cianwood City are currently experiencing some turbulence at the coasts. It's recommended that you do not travel across the sea at this time.
"In other news, the burglars Billy and Cole are still on the loose. Recently, three trainers were mugged of their Pokémon and belongings at Route 44. The reports stated that these trainers were traveling during evening hours, so I'll say this again: for trainers traveling through Johto, do NOT travel during evening hours. Stay at the nearest town for the night and travel only during daytime.
"The burglars were last sighted escaping through Dark Cave from Blackthorn City. The police departments of Blackthorn and Violet are currently holding an investigation so Dark Cave will be closed off until further notice.
"For those wanting to take a detour towards Violet City, jump down the ledges in Route 45 and Route 46. Eventually, you will reach Route 29. From there, go west towards Cherrygrove City and then go north across Route 31 and Route 32 to reach Violet. For those wanting to visit Blackthorn City from Violet, I hope you have a Pokémon with Fly ready. If not and if you want to reach it by foot, you have to cross Route 36 and Route 37 in the west to reach Ecruteak City. Then head east towards Mahogany Town. You will need the move Surf to pass through. Keep heading east and traverse through Ice Path, and you will finally reach Blackthorn. It is a very long walk, and if you have not traveled this much before then I recommend you don't push yourself too hard. If you want to find the directions again, refer to our website: .com.
"Now with the weather report and the news out of the way, I will like to welcome Super Nerd Bob with today's topic!"
"Thank you, Variety Hour Guy, and welcome back to all the nerds out there! I am your host, Super Nerd Bob, and you are currently listening to 'The Super Nerd Show!' Today, we have a very special guest speaker helping out. So get ready for applause, because here comes Professor Oak!"
A thunderous roar could be heard across Johto.
"You hear that, Professor? That was one loud applause!"
"I most certainly do! Thank you, everyone! It's great to be here!"
"It's a real honor for you to be here with us today. THE Pokémon Professor right here!"
"You flatter me, Bob. I'm glad I can be of assistance!"
"Do you have a show to do today?"
"No, sir. I am actually off."
"Awesome. Now before I proceed with today's topic, I want to ask you something. May I have your autograph?"
"Aha! Sure you will! But first, I believe you have a show to do. Don't want to hold up the listeners."
"Right right, we'll save it for after. Okay."
"So, Mr. Bob, is there something you want to speak to me about?"
"Yes. Do you know a lot about Porygon?"
"That virtual bird Pokémon? I am familiar with it, yes."
"Okay then! So today's topic for discussion is the Pokémon Porygon! I just have a few questions that I will like to bring up and I will let you go. Think of it as an interview."
"Take your time, Bob. I'm in no hurry."
"Okay. Just what is the purpose of Porygon?"
"Well, Bob, Porygon is the first Pokémon to be artificially created using modern technology. In this case, it was constructed with programming code."
"Ah, like Java and C?"
"Something like that, yes. It's a programming language that only Silph employees were taught and authorized to use."
"I see. Does the language itself have a name?"
"That information is classified."
"Oh. Sorry."
"That's alright, Silph told me the same thing. Now… after the coding is done, Porygon is given a physical form and is transported to the real world. It is a demonstration of whether humans are capable of bringing creations to life using software engineering. It is also meant to assist humans with space travel!"
"I see. How did the whole space travel thing go?"
"Not too good initially. As soon as Porygon reaches space, its body destabilizes. So one might say that it fails at where it is meant to succeed."
"I see. That is a bit sad."
"But it is a major achievement in human technology. To create a Pokémon completely from scratch is something amazing!"
"So that means we can have more Pokémon like this created."
"Correct!"
"Are you heavily involved in the creation of Porygon?"
"No, but I have been invited by Pokémon Lab a few times to check up on its progress. Porygon is a simple creation but I find its behavior patterns most peculiar."
"What do you mean?"
"Porygon is programmed to emulate Pokémon in real life. Even though it does not require food or water to survive, it is still capable of feeding."
"Interesting."
"I fed one an apple once. It just vanished right off my hands!"
"How did it do that with no visible mouth?"
"Supposedly, Porygon identifies the apple as an energy source so it can use electromagnetic waves to convert and absorb nearby sources of energy."
"That's interesting."
"So naturally, I was really astounded! Despite its simple design, Porygon functions and behaves much like a typical Pokémon!"
"And this is the first artificial Pokémon, you say?"
"With modern technology, yes."
"But does it have emotions like a typical Pokémon?"
"That's a good question. One would think programming limitations would deprive Porygon of genuine emotions. However, Porygon was designed to be able to live in the real world and adapt to its surroundings. Through observation, Porygon can make a few exceptions in its code and mimic humans and Pokémon alike to function as a member of society!"
"I see. That is quite awesome. Did Silph continue to try out space travel with Porygon?"
"As far as I am concerned, it is. With each new update, Porygon is able to travel even farther than before. With Porygon-Z, they actually attempt to explore alien dimensions. Unsuccessful, however. But while improving Porygon's ability to traverse through space, Silph developed new updates to allow Porygon become more like a typical Pokémon."
"Such as?"
"First off, to emulate evolution. An odd little box containing a compact disc was created to change Porygon's current form. It was simply called the Up-Grade."
"I see. How does it work?"
"In a similar vein of software getting updated, the Up-Grade rewrites Porygon's data to give it a more aesthetic appearance as well as amplifying its powers. Think of it as a software 'patch' that can only be triggered by a Pokémon trade."
"Ah. Does this Up-Grade device alter Porygon's existing behavior patterns though?"
"Fortunately, it doesn't significantly change. The Up-Grade is designed only to alter appearance and ability. Though its lack of flight doesn't allow it to explore space alone, this gets resolved with a later upgrade."
"That's good."
"This upgrade is known as the Dubious Disc. Just like with the Up-Grade, it is meant to alter appearance and fighting ability. The behavior after is slightly more fidgety, but for the most part it does not display dangerous behavior. And like before, the 'evolution' was triggered by a Pokémon trade."
"Why a Pokémon trade though? Porygon is rare enough as it is. I'm not sure if trainers simply just want to give it away."
"I am not quite sure. Maybe trade evolution is the easiest form of evolution to program and maintain. Maybe Porygon would react violently to just being exposed to a disc alone. As for just natural progression and eventual evolution, the idea might have been dropped due to copyright issues."
"Copyright?"
"Correct. The Up-Grade and Dubious Disc items are normally entrusted to trainers with great moral character. To simply allow Porygon to evolve by 'leveling up', as some people call it, may bring up trainers willing to abuse it as a dangerous weapon or a money machine."
"Like who?"
"Years ago, Team Rocket acquired the original code of Porygon which allowed the organization to produce copies of the Pokémon. The copies were sold to people at a very expensive price through the Rocket Game Corner. The equivalent of 9,999 Coins to be exact."
"That's a full Coin Case!"
"Indeed. To achieve that amount through the slot machines and roulette tables alone will take a lot of patience and perhaps a lot of losses. Nearly impossible."
"I would be out of a job by then if I took that long."
"So the idea is to prevent the evolved forms Porygon2 and Porygon-Z from falling into the wrong hands. The Up-Grade and the Dubious Disc are designed in a way to prevent illegal copies to be distributed. Only certain Silph employees can distribute the discs."
"So is that why no one has successfully hacked Porygon?"
"Correct. Silph does a good job in restricting important data."
"Wow."
"But as many people know, it is now easier to obtain Porygon after it was discovered that it could breed with Ditto."
"Just a heads up, folks: that shall be a future topic. Anyways, Professor, go on."
"I think that is about it for that. Do you have any more questions, Bob?"
"Yes, Professor. With Porygon, were any Pokémon discovered in space?"
"I'm sorry. That information is classified."
"Aw. That's a shame."
"I know. I wish we have more answers to that."
"Okay. Going back to what you said about Porygon's behavior, is it possible for Porygon to die due to a glitch?"
"My oh my."
"I'm sorry if this question makes you uncomfortable."
"No no. Your question is a valid one. Indeed, it is possible. Like any computer software, it is possible for Porygon to be attacked by a computer virus. If Porygon's data becomes corrupted before it can be saved, it will be beyond repair. Furthermore, Porygon is also vulnerable to sicknesses that Pokémon of the real world can catch."
"I see. I have one more question."
"Go ahead."
"Why the bird design? Is it meant to enhance Porygon's movement?"
"Supposedly, Porygon's appearance is based on that of an origami crane's. Whether this allows more freedom of mobility is questionable."
"I wonder if Porygon's abilities change if it were made in the shape of a bowling pin."
"Ha ha! Indeed."
"And I think I've been run dry of questions. So I guess that is the end of today's topic!"
"Excellent! That was fun."
"And it wouldn't be if you were not here with us today, Professor. Thank you for taking your time for guest-starring for us."
"Not a problem. If you have anything else to ask me, I'll be honored to make another appearance."
"I'll be sure to remember that. And thanks for tuning in, listeners! If you have some topics you wanted to bring up for discussion, you can text TOPIC to 7653 and we'll give you a call. You can also leave comments on the Variety Channel's Pokébook account. Now, Professor, about that autograph…"
"Of course, Bob. I haven't forgotten about that!"
