Chapter 6-nO pRAyEr foR thE dyInG

He was not alone although he wished to be; now more than ever. But he wasn't. The strange smell of the hotel corridor, a weird mix of bleach and flowers made his stomach turn. The hushed voices of people he knew and had wrestled many times with were loud to his ears. The news had quickly spread.

'Naturally! What did you expect?'

Dave stood outside Rey's room waiting, a bit withdrawn from the others.

'Waiting for what? Fool!' he thought. He bit his tongue hard almost making it bleed. Lord knew how much he wished to taste blood… how much he wished to hurt… be in pain… suffer like Rey.

When Bobby had come in the room and told them about Adam's death, it was the saddest and hardest thing Dave had ever had to witness. It felt like a void had opened up and was rapidly swallowing them. He felt like falling and he couldn't help but wonder if Rey had felt the same way. The depth of Rey's pain was something he could not handle.

Or so he thought.

But there he was; outside Rey's room, waiting for the doctor to come out. And the feeling of falling into the emptiness still shook him to his core.

It had not been a pretty sight to behold. Rey had just collapsed on the floor; neither Bobby nor himself were able to console him. He had just broken down… literally. His legs had given away to the weight of news of Adam's death and he had just fallen on the carpet like a ragged doll. Dave had never seen a man break down like this before. And he thought he had seen pain and suffering in his life.

'Apparently you were wrong' the little evil voice spoke in his head.

He clenched his hands into fists. If there was a word that could describe him right now was 'helpless'. He was used to being a strong, big man, capable of handling everything that came his way, but this was beyond his abilities. How could he console the man he loved from the passing of his lover? He loved Rey so much but he didn't want to take advantage of his frailty. He knew all too well how much Rey loved Adam. But he also knew how much he himself loved the smaller man.

He had never felt so torn in his life.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He had been so close to telling Rey everything… Everything! What he felt, how long, how much… the whole thing when Bobby had brought the news. He couldn't help but wonder what Rey's reaction would have been if he knew the depths of his feelings. He couldn't help but wonder also if what had happened between Rey, himself and that fucking talisman was because of Adam's death.

He hated being in the dark. He also hated what was happening to him. But most of all… above all else he hated not knowing what the doctor was doing all this time in Rey's room. His memory drifted to the events that had occurred about an hour ago.

The moment Rey had heard about Adam's murder, he had fallen on the floor. Dave had rushed to help him… support him… but Rey didn't want to be touched by anyone. He had pushed Dave away violently and kept rocking back and forth, on his knees crying desperately his hands covering his ears. Nothing they told him got through. Dave couldn't even understand what Rey was mumbling under his breath. It was when Rey uttered a heart shattering cry they decided to call the doctor.

The last time Dave saw Rey, he was still sobbing uncontrollably. The doctor along with Bobby were easing Rey to his bed. Bobby Lashley had joined him a while later saying that the doc wanted privacy.

'What is he doing?'

Dave's patience was running out when he heard his cell phone ring in his pocket. Without looking for caller I.D. he just answered it.

"Yeah?" he simply asked.

"Hey Dave… this is John"

Dave was surprised to hear John Cena on the phone.

"Hey John" he responded softly.

"How's it going down there?"

"Like shit… what do you think?" he said sounding a bit more hostile than he meant to.

"Rey?"

That word… again… that name… it always felt like a knife in his heart.

"I don't know"

"What?"

"Doc is still inside"

"So he knows… wow…" Cena paused. "How do you deal with a thing like this?"

"Listen John… do you know any more details about Edge's murder?" Dave asked although he wasn't sure he wanted to know any details.

Cena didn't answer immediately. Dave had the feeling that John had been with a crowd and was searching for more privacy to respond. When all other sound faded away, John gave his answer.

"I don't know man… the things they've been sayin'… it's crazy… I don't know how much of it is true. The police is talking to everyone here."

"John… just tell me… I can't do this much longer" Batista said desperately and wearily.

"They say it was two guys… forensics just matched the semen found on Adam to a man called Henry Jordan. I heard them tell Vince he was one of the men who had taken Rey some time ago… Dave… I thought it was all a lie… a rumor… Rey had denied all these officially…"

"No…" was all Dave could say.

"No? You mean… it is true? All the rumors?"

"Everything the papers wrote is the truth…"

"How do you know?"

"Eddie…"

Dave still recalled a night when Eddie had confessed the whole thing to him, making him promise at the end never to tell. It was right after the London events. Eddie felt they owed him an explanation and unbeknown to Rey, he had told him the story so far. John had fallen silent trying to digest the news.

"John! What else are they saying?"

"Uh… they said he wasn't alone. He must have had help from a second guy. They still don't know who he is. His fingerprints were not on the police data base."

"Have they talked to you yet?"

"Yeah… they…"

"What is it John?" Dave asked his voice lowering as he sensed discomfort to the other man.

"I didn't see the body myself… Shawn Michaels did… I only saw the few pictures they showed me but I couldn't make much of it… you should really talk to him…"

"John! I am talking to you now!" Dave commanded and his speech drew attention from the crowd in the corridor. He stepped away just to make sure he had the privacy he needed and not to make a fool of himself in public.

"Dave they didn't say much I swear it. They just told me was brutally raped and murdered. They asked me if he had any enemies, people who hated him or wanted him dead… you know? I told them what I knew… that in our line of work we may seem evil and we may have many feuds with other wrestlers but it's all an act. Nothing is real in the ring. Backstage everyone liked Adam. Recently Adam was a big success as a heel. I told them that it had been a while since the WWE had seen a heel so much hated by the crowd."

"Do they think the men who killed him were fans?"

"At the time they were searching every possible angle. I told them that wrestling fans know that the history behind every feud is staged, that none of it is real… then during the interrogation, they received the forensics report and that's how I learned about Henry Jordan. I asked them about it but they refused to tell me anything else. Then they spoke to Shawn."

"Have you spoken to him?"

Cena took a moment to gather his thoughts and continue. The last few phrases had come out in a hurry. Dave understood that John hadn't spoken to anybody about it yet. The news were so hard to bear for everyone. He didn't know how he would be able to handle it if he had been the one to find the mangled body.

"No I haven't. I saw him from a distance but he wasn't in any shape to talk to anyone. Triple H was with him, and I think he was the only one he spoke to. I don't know what he told the police or even if he could tell them anything. After a while HHH took him to his room and they haven't come out since."

"That bad?" Dave asked. He rubbed his forehead thinking how he wrong he had been. He believed that things here were hard. Other there, things were a disaster.

"Yeah… listen… I called to tell you about the funeral"

Dave stopped breathing. He bit again his tongue desperate to draw blood… hurt. His voice had given up.

"The funeral will be held this Sunday in his home town, Orangeville, near Ontario in Canada. I just thought you should know… and maybe tell the… the others if they want to come… I know Rey Rey will want to be there." His voice faded in the end. Dave had still to find his voice.

"I just thought that… you know… he shouldn't be alone in a time like this" John completed.

Dave opened his mouth to speak but at that exact moment Rey's hotel room door opened and the doctor came out.

"Listen John… Don't worry about Rey Rey… we won't leave him alone. I have to go. The doc just came out and I have to speak to him"

Not waiting for an answer he hung up and stepped closer to the doctor.

"How is he doc?" Bobby asked. Booker T was there too and next to him stood Matt Hardy, Michael Cole and JBL.

Dave came close soon enough to heat the doctor answer.

"He had a fever but I gave him a sedative to drop his temperature and calm him down; help him get some rest. He is going to be sleeping for a while so you should leave him for the moment. One of you should stay with him and keep an eye. The shock is still too big for him and I'm afraid of what will happen when he wakes up."

"I'll stay" Dave volunteered, his brain never registering the words as they came out of his mouth. The doc nodded and before leaving, he added.

"I have left some sedatives on the night stand. Give him one as soon as he wakes up and then one every eight hours until the bottle runs out…" he looked straight into Dave's eyes meaningfully. "Loosing a dear friend is a difficult thing to handle once… let alone twice… Don't be afraid to ask for professional help. Your friend might need it" He squeezed Dave's arm and walked away with JBL escorting him out, while thanking him. When they disappeared around the corner, Dave turned around and looked at the remaining men. They all looked terrible, afraid maybe but definitely worried.

"Funeral is this Sunday in Orangeville." He sadly stated and opening the door stepped inside the room.

When he closed the door behind him, he was greeting by the coldness and the darkness of the room. He felt like the temperature had dropped drastically and a shiver ran through his body. He walked decisively towards the bed and spotted the pills. Next to the night stand lay Rey… asleep, but not peacefully. Dave swallowed down the bitterness in his throat and sat next to him. Rey was sweating in his sleep, as the nightmares were gripping his heart. Dave wanted to wake him up and help him shake the bad dream away but he refrained. Instead he brought his hand up and caressed Rey's forehead. His fingers traced softly his brows, his cheeks and his jaw line. The slippery skin lead his fingers down to Rey's neck, marveling at its softness and then they came to rest on his chest… on his heart; a heart he wanted to beat for him and no other; one that was broken now; a heart that now lay in crystalline dust. Dave genuinely hated himself for thinking of his own self and interest in a time like this, but he couldn't help it. He was about to stand up when a he heard Rey talk in his sleep.

"No don't… please no…"

Those words froze him.

"…take me with you… please don't go…"

He mumbled as his head arched up against the pillow. His hands were gripping at the sheet and his knuckles had become white. Dave could feel his own tears falling. So much pain was more than he could stand. He wished to hold Rey in his arms and take it all away. He knew he could comfort him and make it all better if only he could just hold him; if only Rey would let him.

"But… I only…want you…" Rey spoke again and his chest heaved desperately. "I love you" he spoke and he sobbed as his dream was reaching its zenith. Dave again touched Rey's forehead and drew it back immediately when the fever burned him like flaming iron. The doc had told him about the fever but Dave couldn't just sit back and watch. He stood up and took a washcloth from the bathroom. He wetted it with cold water and brought it on Rey's forehead. The contact of the cold cloth with the burning skin had the desired effect as Rey stopped tossing and turning and the sobs died down.

As calmness came upon Rey's sleep Dave couldn't help but sigh in relief. A faint smile appeared in the corner of his lips and his heart started to beat normally again. Seeing Rey writhing and suffering even in his sleep was hard but as tranquillity returned, even if it was drug induced, it all became more apparent.

How much he loved Rey! This time he was happy he was able to identify his feelings. When Rey hurt, Dave's heart cried; when Rey was calm, he was peaceful;

'I guess that's what it means to love someone'

He could only hope that Rey someday would allow him to love him back. He just wished that Adam didn't have to die. In fact he found himself whishing the Canadian was still alive. He preferred living a lifetime alone and in pain than having Rey put through so much suffering. He would rather spend a lifetime waiting and loving him secretly than this… even if THIS gave him a chance to someday fulfil his dream.

He always hated himself every time his thoughts lead him to paths like these. He felt like a predator. And he hated predators.

He looked at the sleeping form of the luchador. The dark grip of his nightmare had faded a while ago and now he was resting as peacefully as he could, oblivious of his surroundings. Dave was sure that despite the nightmare, if it were up to Rey, this dream would never be over. The words he had spoken had made it clear of who he had been dreaming. The closed eyes of the Mexican welled up again and a silent tear slipped, but no sobs came. Dave leaned over and carefully as not to wake him up, kissed it away.

"I love you Oscar" he whispered, his voice a little louder that the murmur of the wind. "I wish you knew how much"

But Rey still laid asleep unaware of the words outside his dream… a dream he truly didn't want to end no matter what. But the dream did end and the coldness of loneliness came to nest in his heart. He shivered in his sleep and turned to his side trying subconsciously to warm up. Dave brought the blanket and covered him up gently.

Rey still shivered for hours to come and Dave knew it wasn't from the fever. But he stayed by his side.

He leaned and lay close to him. He took him in his arms and closed his eyes but never fell asleep. Instead of sleeping, he took a silent deep breath and tried to kill the sobs that were now coming to the surface. His tears fell of the pillow noticed by no one but himself and they had dried long before Rey woke up.

But until the time of the awakening all Dave could do was wait and pray.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

I know you hear me

I can taste it in your dreams

Closing your eyes to disappear

You pray your dreams will leave you here

But still you wake and know the truth

No one's there

Say goodnight

Don't be afraid

Calling me calling me as you fade to black

Evanescence-My last breath (written by Ben Moody)