There's really no excuse for this one either. Pure crack. You have been warned.

Victory
August 7: Twiggy vs. James Bond
Word Count: 380

Conan and Haibara argue about everything. It's a fact of life on the same level as 'Mouri is only intelligent when he's "Sleeping Kogoro".' They argue everywhere: on the train, in the classroom, at Professor Agasa's house, at crime scenes (sometime while Conan is trying to solve the murder; it's very distracting).

Everyone knows about it. It's become somewhat of a spectator sport, because Conan and Haibara don't simply fight, they debate to win.

The current score (because Conan is keeping track, and he suspects Haibara does too) is Haibara: 60, Conan: 54. Intellectually, they're an even match, but Haibara has a sneaky, underhanded trick that she sometimes uses to win.

Conan has dubbed it the nose-to-nose technique. Haibara somehow gets within centimeters of him without Conan even noticing…and then someone will point it out, and then Conan will get flustered, and then Ai will make a final, cutting remark and walk away with the victory. It's completely unfair and about time Conan turned the tables on her.

"--and that is why humans are inherently predisposed towards baser actions," Haibara says, starting to lean forward. Conan knows that if he is going to foil her nose-to-nose technique, he has to beat her to it.

"Well, I think--"

There is a moment of silence.

Conan finds himself staring into Haibara's shocked eyes at a very close distance. They aren't kissing per se, but that's mostly because neither of them is moving.

"Geh," he says, breaking away, tripping over his own feet in his haste. He doesn't bother to get back up. "I'm so sorry, Haibara. I didn't mean to ki--err, well, I didn't mean it, and it was an accident. And I'm really, really sorry."

Ai is still staring at him, frozen in shock. She's going to kill me, he thinks.

"I was just, well, I wasn't trying to do that, and I--"

"Kissing me, Edogawa-kun," Haibara cuts in coolly, composure snapping back into place, "is not a valid argument on the nature of man, unless you're trying to prove that men are perverts." With remarkable aplomb, she turns and walks away, leaving Conan still stuttering apologies on the floor.

And all Conan can think--while everyone watches him with shocked expressions--is Haibara: 61, Conan: 54.