A/N Sorry about the cliff hanger chapter last time, I tend to make my chapters a bit long and I have to cut that one a little short. All my chappies from her on out will be much shorter because it takes so long to type all of this out. Plus it's better this way. Well I can assure you this, this is going to be a good chapter but it is more based on the progression of Amu and Ikuto's relationship than anything like the last chapter. It's pretty mellow. Also I would like to thank all my reviewers/ watchers/Alerter/ Readers. Your actions mean more to me than words can describe and thanks to all of you, I have continued to write due to the bad situation I am going through in my life. To know that people enjoy the things that I write and my creative ability is appreciated...it just brings tears to my eyes. Again, thank you all SO SO much. I'm super grateful and I hope to keep cranking out these fanfics for you guys.(: Any who~ The name of this chapter is based off a beautiful and melodic song by Ayumi Hamasaki. Any who, I hope you guys enjoy. Lemony Lime alert guideline so don't be surprised~
Shugo Chara! Is copyrighted to Peach-Pitt. Ever Free is copyrighted to the lovely and talented Ayumi Hamasaki.
Chapter 6:Ever Free
"IKUTO" I screamed his name at the top of my lungs frantically, shaking him but he wouldn't stir! Even after minutes of me yelling, which caused my voice to go horse in the process, still...nothing. My hand trembled to his neck, checking for a pulse. Success! I felt a prominent pulse and felt my lips smile through my tears. Thank god, he seems to just be passed out. Reality, however, had other plans for me. Shit! What am I supposed to do now? Do I take him to the hospital or do I take him to my house and let my mom treat him?
I dared to glance down at my blue haired savior, my best friend who not even two hours ago professed his love to me, then I acted like a 5 year old jackass then ran off and got my dumb ass hurt. Then, Ikuto, despite how I treated him, jumped in like Superman and valiantly rescued me. But obviously he didn't emerge without injuries. He got pretty badly knocked around in the process but at least he is still alive. No thanks to me.
Peering down at him, I noticed how gorgeous he is, even beaten up. Almost in a child-like manner he curled himself into me like a kitten. I could imagine him purring in his normal seductively playful manner as he pawed at me. Tears welled in my eyes once more and even though we have fights constantly, most of the time it is over silly things or due to my loud mouthed nature with Ikuto or my short temper. Every time Ikuto tried to tell me how he felt, I overreacted and stormed off for no reason. GOD! I can be SUCH an idiot sometimes!
My heart lurched to my feet as I examined his face, gosh, it's so badly beaten. His nose is obviously broken, lips busted all to hell, left temple has blood trickling down all the way to his chin, cheek is cut several times. Oh god his jaw. His jaw is so bruised and well so is his whole damn face for that matter and no matter how badly I was worried about him, I couldn't bring myself to think about his other injuries.
I needed to act quickly if I wanted Ikuto to be okay, and time was running out while I just sat here wasting time. My purse was halfway across the damn alley and Ikuto was on me so I had no means of getting my cell but then...AHA I'll just use his!
I blushed madly as I reached in Ikuto's pocket and pulled out his iPhone, which was thankfully in a protective case. That explains why the screen isn't bashed in. I searched through his phone and lingered at Utau's number, contemplating calling her but I decided against it. Utau would just freak out and get upset and that is the last thing I need right now, So I decided to call my mom. She used to be an in home nurse and knew how to treat Ikuto's wounds. Fuck...I should just be smart and dial 911 like I thought to earlier but those damn ambulances are so slow!
My hand trembled as I dialed my moms number on his phone, scared of how upset she might get or even worse, if we had to go to the hospital, how would I explain that to the Tsukiyomi's. Thank my lucky stars for my mom's past profession, I could not tell you why my mother decided to change to being an editor for Mom's magazine. I guess that was her higher calling.
Even though it's 11pm at night my mom answers, she never fails me. "Uh...isn't it a little late to be calling, Ikuto-kun?" My mom quipped curtly, obviously I had interrupted something that she was involved in. SLEEP I hope. I prayed JUST SLEEP.
"MOMMMMMAAAAA!" I cried into the phone, sounding more like a lost and scared five year old than a 16 year old high school student. Tears burned in my eyes as I sniffled, pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth. "A-Amu? Whats wrong?" My mom snapped into her mom mode, her voice dripped with worry and a tinge of fear. I then went about explaining the whole night to my mother, right down to Ikuto's confession of passionate love and getting kidnapped and almost raped and even down to Ikuto whooping some ass on my behalf. Of course I cried like a baby the whole time.
A low whistle came from my mom end and then she was silent. I guess she was thrown for a loop.
After all I told my mother she asked the one question that I didn't want her to. "So..why in the hell did you run from Ikuto?"
"I don't know, momma..." I responded meekly, my voice lowering in embarrassment. "Amu..."She said in a warning manner, her voice emanating irritation. "Momma! Who cares why? Just come get us because...because Ikuto could die!"I hollered into the phone, hot tears streaming down my cheeks and unfortunately all over his nice and expensive iPhone. Oops.
Silence washed over us for a moment then came my moms soft sigh. "Okay, baby girl. But we ARE talking about this when you get in this car." She stated and I realized there was no way in hell I was getting out of that conversation. Personally, I don't know why in the world my mom cared so much.
"Yes momma..."I pouted while conceding in defeat. "Alright, honey, I'll be there in about 25 minutes. I have to get the guest bedroom set up for Ikuto." My mom affirmed and then I was met with the dial-tone.
I once again, looked down to Ikuto, tears falling so steadily that I could scarcely even see. Then the pained thoughts start swarming whether I want them to or not. How could I do this to him? He must have been hurting so badly and I shot him down. I realize now that deep down, I probably do love him but I'm scared. Scared of our intense sexual tension, afraid of his overwhelming love for me that I sort of always knew he felt for me, frightened by my ever present attraction to him. Even after I knew he loves me I still discarded his feelings like trash and he still fought for me. What a bitch I am.
My tears were dripping all over his face but I didn't care as I leaned down and pressed my lips to his cheek. I didn't even care his cheek was splattered with dried blood, I kissed his cheek once more, hearing a sob escape my lips. God, I hope Ikuto turns out to be okay!
I let my fingers run through his now tousled midnight blue hair, massaging his scalp in hopes to ease a bit of his pain. I had to ignore the blood that coated my fingers from his wound. If I thought about it it would make me sick to my stomach...Thank god I didn't have a chance because a pair of headlights glared brightly at me, and my mom hurriedly jumped from her little KIA Rio. She crossed the short distance to us and examined the area with a scowl.
The goons Ikuto beat were still unconscious, their bodies scattered around the alleyway and my purse was over near a wall where I was being held. Her eyes then laid upon Ikuto and I and my mother made an inaudible gasp at the sight. My white blouse was nearly ripped from my torso, my Lacy black bra clearly visible. My skirt was a bit used for wear but it was still fixable. Ikuto just looked like hell. There was no way to sugar coat that.
"C,mon Amu, help me get him into the back seat." Momma urged bending down to take a hold of Ikuto's head so I was able to get up. I jumped up in haste as my mom grabbed Ikuto's left arm while I took a hold of the right as we both lugged him into the backseat of my moms compact car. After carefully placing him inside the backseat as if he were fragile, I shut the door softly. I then ran over to my tote and snatched it up, as well as the precious gifts Ikuto bought for me. Finally I jumped into the front seat and we were getting the hell out of there.
"Amu, do you love Tadase?" I was questioned, my moms voice held no playfulness to it. She was completely serious. I won't even lie that she caught me off guard juuuust a smidgen but I am not that kind of teen that lies to her parents. "No, momma." I replied honestly. "Then why are you even with him?" She pressed, trying to get me to express my feelings about him. "I guess I thought we could fall in love...people don't just fall in love over the span of two months." I replied sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest. "Yea but maybe two people could over the span of 15 years." My mom quipped in return. Ikuto and I have known each other for 15 years, yes, BUT...I guess...I didn't realize his feelings.
"Mom...I wasn't aware..." I cut myself off before I could finish, knowing my mom would have interrupted me anyway.
"Come on, Amu, seriously? Your father and I have known since he told you he wanted to marry you when you were five." My mom scoffed in a matter of factly manner. "Well...I know it should have been obvious but I have been focused on Tadase for so long...and all he is now is a jerk." I replied sullenly, my eyes dropping to my lap. My mom sighed loudly. "just imagine how hard it has been for Ikuto, watching you this whole time as he professes his love day in and day out with his actions and you ignore it." My mom scolded, her motherly glare turning on me for a moment before parking in the driveway of our house.
Her last statement definitely made me think...I have been involuntarily hurting Ikuto this whole time. I turned around and stared at him for a moment, his face scrunched in pain even though he was unconscious.
Before I was able to even able to help, my mom and dad had Ikuto pulled from the car and were lugging him into the house with ease. Even though my dad might appear a little wimpy, he was no such thing. I rushed from the car, shutting all open doors and ran in behind my mom and dad, following them to the guest bedroom, but not before shutting the front door.
My father and I held him upright as his body slumped, due to his unconsciousness, as my mom pulled back the blankets on the bed to reveal black sheets. The reason? I'm assuming that she didn't wanna get blood all over her nice white sheets that had been there previously. We then gently laid Ikuto down on the bed very gently, knowing that even the slightest slip up on our part could cause him an immeasurable amount of pain. After he was safely on the comfort of the bed my father looked over his broken frame, a pained look on his face. "Sheesh, he really got the shit kicked out of him." Dad admonished.
"NO! Ikuto beat the hell out of 5 guys, of course he is gonna be a little worse for wear." I defended, my face wrinkled in anger towards my dad who was just joking. My mom intervened before I could slap my dad and his stupid jokes. "Honey, Ikuto saved Amu from getting raped...and possibly worse had he not shown up." My moms voice was soft yet firm, letting my dad know that this was nothing to be laughing about. My fathers eyebrows shot to his hairline, shock evident on his face. "Oh God! He deserves a medal for saving my baby!" My dad exclaimed in horror, scooping me into a great big daddy bear hug. I love those. Tears came to the forefront quickly as I began to weep into my daddy's chest at all the events of today. I felt my dads hand smooth my hair as he shushed me, reassuring me that everything would be okay. No it wouldn't be until I saw for my own eyes that Ikuto was.
It's an amazing thing that mom used to be an in home nurse and she even worked at a hospital for a few years. She first checked for a pulse, to which I cringed thinking that his steady pulse might have changed for the worse. Of course there was a pulse and I was just worrying for nothing. Mom then examined his body thoroughly determining that Ikuto a lot of severe injuries BUT nothing that she couldn't handle. Many of the wounds would have been life threatening if we had not acted so fast but...I'm just glad he can get proper treatment outside of a hospital.
"Alright baby, Ikuto has several broken ribs, a broken nose, a dislocated jaw, a severe concussion, and one of his knee caps are broken. Everything else is just minor and just needs cleaning and maybe a bit of stitches like his knuckles. The skin was broken due to constant hitting. The only thing that will be a bother is that he will have to wear a cast for quite some time until his knee is healed. His ribs, nose and head will be just fine. I have to run out to get the supplies necessary to treat his wounds, so don't worry, daddy will be here with you if anything changes." My mom explained with a look of utter seriousness as she finished her diagnoses.
"Where's Ami?" I inquired, suddenly realizing that I hadn't seen her since we got here. "Ami is at Ran's house for a sleepover." My mom answered wearily, heaving a sigh that indicated that she has a long night ahead of her. My mom departed soon after to get what she required to help Ikuto, leaving me alone to watch over him.
My dad left the room soon after to get to bed, telling me to get him if anything happened. I moved to sit in the chair that my mom had placed next to the bed and peered down at him. This gorgeous boy in front of me seems so angelic and innocent...much different than the Ikuto that I'm accustomed to. His sleeping figure twisted and turned in agony and I'm guessing he is either in extreme pain or he was having a nightmare. My eyes filled with tears again because I knew the thrashing he was doing was putting a strain on his broken ribs, which would cause him a whole lot of pain. At least my mom wiped the blood from his face.
I was taken aback to hear my name slip from his lips, even in his pained state my name still came out sweet and filled with yearning. I smiled, letting my finger softly caress his matted dark blue tresses, just to reassure him that I am indeed here.
What do I exactly feel for Ikuto Tsukiyomi? I swear I have asked myself this question at least seven times since he saved me, just to get my head and heart together. Thinking back to that day nearly 11 years ago when Ikuto shared his first kiss with me...then proclaimed to me that he would marry me one day and make me his princess. That he was my 'Dark Prince Charming', but honestly, I had no idea he was even being serious. Many children say things like that but when they get older they think nothing of it. Just as some stupid childhood crush. Even so...somehow I should have known. Now that it was brought to my attention I realized all of his subtle hints.
The lack of a girlfriend when it was obvious that girls at school threw themselves at him, the anger he felt over me dating Tadase, All the longing stares, the impeccable timing when he showed up to meet me places...never wanting me to wait, the undivided attention he gave me, the teasing and blatant flirting and OH MY GOD! That night when I told him I was dating Tadase...he was talking about ME! About the girl he is in love with. I deadpanned right then and there. I am such an epic fail. I even said I would beat the girls ass and he laughed, knowing full well it was me! UGH how could I have been so blind? Gosh...and he was so gloomy...
The worst part is that I'm sure Utau and Kukai know. Everyone but me and they had to know. Utau is his sister and Kukai is his other best friend. The sad thing is that Ikuto is much better looking than Tadase. Which leads me to wonder why I was even infatuated with Tadase in the first place. Maybe because...hell I don't even know my damn self. I know one thing for sure, he isn't half the gentleman Ikuto is, for one, Ikuto never attempted to force himself on me. Tadase didn't either but he tried to guilt me into saying that I was in love with him when I'm not. That could be the reason why Tadase decided to distance himself from me but seriously? Tough shit man, that's definitely a turn off for any girl unless it's just some tired slut who just wants to hear some stupid sap tell her that he loves her while she is fucking some other guy. Kind of like Saaya.
Then it hit me like a brick- I am head over heels in love with Ikuto Tsukiyomi.
I felt my cheeks burn as I stared down at my beautiful best friend who could potentially be my lover and gasped at just how captivated I am by him...His lovely blue hair and indigo eyes. I found myself face palming at the blunder I made tonight by shunning him and his declaration. I think what saddens me the most is his undying loyalty and devotion to me. I mean really, what hot guy do you know that's still a virgin at 18? Besides...the passion laced way he confessed his love...ugh for the umpteenth time, I am a total freaking moron.
Where do I go from now? Do I break it off with Tadase? No...I need to test the waters with him first and see how much he cares. Somehow I know that without a shadow of a doubt that Tadase would have called the cops instead of fighting to protect me. Or he probably would have ran off and THEN told his parents...by that time my ass would have been dead already. I chuckled faintly allowing a smile of tranquility spread across my lips. I kissed his cheek once more...my hero- my Prince Charming: Ikuto Tsukiyomi.
My mom entered the room then, her hands full of a ton of medical looking crap that I had no idea what they were for or what they did. "Amu, I need you to go on ahead and go to bed. I'm going to work on Ikuto and it isn't going to be pretty. I called Aruto and let him know about the situation but it seems they are away in Osaka on business...They said Ikuto knew they were leaving, but they are all filled in. I checked in on Utau-chan, who was all tucked into bed sleeping like a baby so I let her sleep. I'll fetch her in the morning for breakfast and let her know then." My mom informed me.
My eyes grew wide at what she had said. Why hadn't Ikuto told me that his parents were going out of town? He didn't seem discontent about anything today but..."Are his parents upset with me?" I asked in a nearly inaudible voice. My mom beamed one of those mom smiles at me and shook her head in a 'no' motion, her hazel brown hair whipping her face gently.
"Of course not! They were just enthusiastic to hear that you are safe. Although Aruto did brag about how talented a fighter his son is..." My mom replied with a soft laugh. I heaved a sigh of relief, thanking the Gods for the understanding nature of his parents. "Good...so I can't stay in here after your done?" I asked sadly, looking over to the broken form of my best friend. "No Amu, it's not like I'm doing surgery or anything but he needs his rest. You can see him in the morning." My mom spoke gently as she nudged me from the room and pushed the door shut.
I wandered to my bedroom, letting the events that went down after I ran from Ikuto settle in. Bile rose in my throat as I frantically snatched my pajamas up from the drawer then ran to the bathroom for a much needed shower. I NEED A SHOWER! I nearly pulled that bathroom door from it's hinges as I dashed inside, closing the door with haste. I was about to make a mad dash for the shower but alas...my cloths were still on. I felt like bugs were crawling all over my skin and I had to get these cloths off me. I literally ripped the filthy and blood covered tattered remains of clothing from my body.
I proceeded to turn the hot water on to the highest heat I possibly could. Stepping into the see through glass shower, I hissed in pain because the water was damn near scalding hot. Steam billowed around me and I felt a bit dizzy. I hastily snatched my bubblegum pink shower pouf and my wild strawberry Bath and Body Works body wash and with unyielding harshness, I scrubbed my peach skin as I began to sob. My vision was clouded by steam and salty tears as my head began to feel light, my back hit the cool wall of the glass as I let my body fall limp, sliding down to the ground, I crumpled into a naked and pathetic heap on the floor.
My insides were churning in disgust of how that sleazy man had touched me, desperation overcame me as I obsessively scrubbed until my flesh was red and raw. I scrutinized my body, which looked as it always did but I felt dirtied and gross. I restrained myself from screaming at the top of my lungs as the scene of my best friend getting the shit beat out of him because he valiantly chose to save me. Why he did it, I don't think I could ever answer. And now look at him! He's going through hell because of me!
I have to admit that Ikuto showed a remarkable amount of Bravado when he was fighting with those dirt bags, bravado I was unaware he possessed. I felt just a bit traumatized by the whole thing and all I wanted to do was make it up to my handsome protector somehow. I began to sob loudly at this point, knowing that nobody could hear me in here anyway. My hands balled into my bubblegum strands as my body shook in tremors as I wept, my tiny frame curling into the fetal position in the tub. Oh God...it was going to be a looooong time before I forget this event.
~ (: ~
I awoke around 7 am due to my anxiousness, jumping from my bed like an idiot, nearly tripping over a pile of cloths next to my bed. What the hell? I seriously need to clean my bedroom...
I snagged my Palm Pre and contemplated calling Tadase. I knew he was up now because he always walks his dog Betty at 7 am everyday. Screw this contemplating crap, I'm calling him now. My thumb scrolled down my contact list until I saw Hotori Tadase then I sighed. This is Tadase's final test and if he fails then he's canned. His blatant disrespect towards me and constant ignoring me has gone on long enough. I touched the call button and the call connected with 3 rings before he finally picked up, right before it would have hit voice mail. Asswipe.
"Amu?" He greeted, obviously taken by surprise that I had bothered to call his highness, Tadase Hotori. "Tadase?" I greeted sarcastically in the same fashion he had spoken to me. When had I become so hostile towards him? Eh' well he deserves it. "Hello Amu...I was just thinking of calling you today. I've missed you." He cooed, a smile in his voice. What the shit did he just say? He had 'been thinking about calling me? I'm supposed to be his damned girlfriend! Last time I checked he should be calling/seeing me everyday regardless of how 'swamped' and 'busy' he is all the damn time. I couldn't bite my tongue this time, not that I wanted to anyway.
"You wouldn't have to miss me if you called or bothered to come see me." I fumed, my rising anger evident in my tone of voice. He seemed unaffected my acidic tone and continued on. "I'm glad you called me...I have been meaning to discuss something something with you."His even voice became firm for a moment. Now it was my turn to be surprised. "H-huh?" I stammered, my jaw going slack even though he was unaware. "I have to admit, Amu-chan, that you are far too close with Ikuto. You spend more time with that creep than you do with me." Okay he just efficiently succeeded in pissing me the hell off! Ikuto a creep? I was so enraged that I was grinding my teeth in outrage.
No more Mr. nice guy with this jerk, I'm done. "Tadase...with all due respect, Ikuto has been my best friend for a very long time. AND he's not a creep." I defended with a semi calm demeanor despite the urge to punch his teeth down his throat. How dare that little shit? His response was one I expected. He scoffed in a holier than thou matter and chuckled softly.
"Amu, Ikuto IS a creep. Saaya told me that he has never had a girlfriend and personally, I think he's gay." I was surprised to hear Tadase laugh out loud at his words. "Tadase! He is not gay! I know for a fact that he isn't gay, not like I have to prove anything to you about him...but here's my question. Why are you talking to that trashy whore anyway? Saaya is probably just mad that Ikuto wouldn't break her off." I snarled in anger, attempting to keep a semblance of rationality before I pulled a Freddy Kruger and jumped through my cell and ripped his punk ass to shreds.
Strangely Tadase got extremely quiet at my mention of Saaya and my stomach turned sour at that. I'm not sure why though. "Please don't cast stones at Saaya, Amu-chan. She isn't a whore...she is just misunderstood." Tadase acted as if he were correcting me, his voice stricken as if I had just insulted his girlfriend or something. "PUUHLEASE Tadase! Saaya spends her days on her back with a 'open for business' sign tattooed on her forehead." I cackled at my statement, inciting a rudeness from Tadase that I had never encountered before.
"Seriously Amu, shut-up. She's not a fucking whore." Tadase scolded me, his voice still that same kind drawl that it is normally but his words held venom. What the fuck is wrong with him? Oh that's it, I'm SO breaking up with this punk! "Tadase I-" I yelled into the phone before he interrupted me, successfully cutting my breakup short. "I have to go Amu-chan, Love you." He said curtly before I met the dial-tone. I growled as I furiously chucked my 300 dollar phone across the room. I heard nothing break so I figured I was still good. Something was definitely off about his actions, what exactly I have no clue. I know for damn sure that I need to find out. BUT first I needed to check on Ikuto!
I gently pushed the door open, just in case he was still resting. Peering through the crack, my golden hues immediately fell on the bed and Ikuto seemed to still be sleeping. His indigo depths were closed and his mouth slightly ajar. He, in the very least appeared to be peaceful. Pushing myself into the room, I tip-toed over to the chair I sat in previously to admire him. His leg bore a bulky black cast and his nose was swollen and bruised, as was his lip. He was shirtless and his abdomen was bandaged all the way from just beneath his pecks to right to his pelvis. His knuckles had stitches in them, as did his right cheek. His jawline was just a hot mess, completely bruised and he appeared to look like a smurf from that area.
What startled me the most was that he still appeared so flawless to me. So much more handsome and refined than Tadase, that little twit. A delicate smile tugged at my lips as I gazed at my sexy best friend, whom I have recently just found myself smitten with. My fingers ached to touch his skin, his lips, his hair...something that would quiet this dull ache in my heart. My right hand dove in for the kill, sinking my fingers into his lush and surprisingly brushed hair. My mom obviously had to brush the knots from his hair to get to the wound and I thanked God that she had, Ikuto would never let himself have matted hair like that.
Tranquility consumed me as I carefully let his strands fall through my fingers like the lulling patter of rain. My fingers felt the huge gauze pad covered with a bandage and I winced in pain, not only at how big the wound is but the fact that my mom had to shave some of his hair around the wound. Not that it was noticeable but still. Ikuto would probably be irked about it. I never really realized how talented a fighter Ikuto really is, it saddens me that I had to find out in such a manner but whats done is done.
I reluctantly pulled my fingers from his unbelievable soft mat of hair but I suddenly felt the need to hear music. I scurried off down the hall to my room and grabbed my laptop, I then ran back into the guest bedroom that he was in, noticing that nothing had changed. He still lay in the exact same position. I slid over to the wall and plugged the charged into the wall and quickly scrolled to the song I was looking for. Aha! Ever Free by Ayumi Hamasaki...this song ALWAYS calms the raging storm inside my mind and puts me in a state of Zen.
I let my mind drift into a world of calm, swaying my hips in rhythm to the subtle beat. My hair was loose, hanging messily about my waist. I wore nothing but a lavender spaghetti strap tank top and a flimsy pair of Kurumi pattern sleep shorts. This song was my particular favorite due to the passion coated way she sang her lyrics but the lyrics caught my ears as well. My hips sashayed as my abdomen began doing it's own thing. Well hell, I never claimed I could dance now could I? Now singing...that was my passion.
My lips parted slightly, letting the soft melody intertwine with my heart and the words just flowed expertly.
Sore wa totemo hareta hi
Odayaka na egao ni
Shiroi hana wo ichirin sotto soeta
After the first set of lyrics my ears perk in amazement, for I heard the most beautiful voice I have ever heard, singing right along with me. I pretend not to notice, for obvious reasons. His voice was so soft and alluring, almost as if he were singing to himself, not to be heard. If I turned around and told him how I felt about his voice, he would just wave me off and stop singing. I sincerely wanted to hear more of his quiet baritone, which washed over me as if I was taking a bath in the velvety thickness of his voice. Wow. I had no idea he sang, much less had this kind of talent hidden away. I wonder what else about him is hidden.
Utsukushii mono wa toki ni kanashii mono
Yagate kuru wakare kanjite
Kuroi retsu narabezu ni
Hami dashite kao ageta
Itsuka mita sora wo omatta
Ikisaki wo dore kurai
Tooku tooi tokoro na no
Mou nido to modorenai hodo
Tooi tokoro na no
Aitakute aenakute
Semete tsutaete hoshii
Saigo ni kureta namida
Sono subete wasurenai~
English Translation
It was a very sunny day
I added one white flower
To your gentle smile
Sometimes beautiful things are sad
You can feel the coming farewell
Not lining up in the black line
Crowded out, I raised my face
And thought of a sky I once saw
How far, far away
Is our destination?
Is it so faraway
That we'll never return again?
I miss you and I can't see you
I just want to tell you
I won't forget all of
The last tears you gave me
We ended the song, my eyes filled with tears at how deeply he seemed to whisper the words, seeming as if the meaning of the lyrics meant something to him. I have to admit, I have never seen this side of Ikuto in my entire life. His voice sounded so tortured and yet so filled with an unbridled pining. I'm sure I know now at this point why he sang those lyrics with his heart. His voice grew quiet again and I spied on him through my peripheral vision, noticing that he had once again settled into the same silent position that he laid in before. Except his deep indigo depths were staring holes through me from under dark and long lashes. His look was so intense but I turned then to face him, his lids shutting quickly to deter me from thinking he was actually awake. Like I couldn't hear him sing. PFFT, I'm not that dumb.
I let my eyes linger on him as I continued to make my way back to the chair I was in, plopping down and continuing to stare at him, to indicate that I did indeed know that he is awake.
"Oi Amu, You gonna keep staring all day?" Came a playful silky baritone of my Ikuto, FINALLY. Yea I said mine, and what? His lids slowly slid half open to reveal those piercing sapphire depths that it seems like eternity since I have seen. "Ikuto..." I uttered in a near inaudible tone, wishing I could jump into his arms but the fact that he is so badly hurt did not help. He yawned rather obnoxiously and let his lips slightly curve to something like a smile, his depths looking like an ocean with the reflection of stars twinkling within them.
"Ne love?" He smirked then, flashing his perfectly white teeth, but just as soon as that coy smirk crossed his lips he winced in pain at the hurt in his lips. Tears pooled in my eyes as my beaming sun colored hues stayed glued to his beautiful face. "I'm so happy your alright, Ikuto..."I whispered in a hushed voice. His eyes reflected something that seemed relieved and just a bit touched. He lazily waved his hand about, blowing off my concern as if I shouldn't be at all. "Ne Amu, this is nothing. I am just relieved I was actually able to save you." He replied in earnest, and I had the sense that he was being completely serious. The overwhelming tension in the room was palpable and I could feel it heavily weighing on me.
"I know...and hey look. I'm really sorry for how I treated you last night." I grasped his left hand in mine, covering it with both my tiny hands. A soft and tranquil smile lazed about his lips as his deep blue hues melted my honey hues with the heated gaze he bore on me.
"Iie Amu-Koi, it's alright. I'm sure I looked like a complete dickhead professing my love like that." He sighed, his silky voice holding an undertone of sadness and regret. It's obvious that he didn't want to say that but felt it would calm the tension between us. Now normally it would have irritated the hell out of me for him to call me Koi but it just endeared him to me more now, knowing that he actually meant it and it wasn't just some joke. Another one of his subtle hints I just caught that I used to ignore, like the softness of his voice when he uttered my name. Or how often he said my name. His unwavering devotion and his smoldering oceanic depths are still some things that surprise me still even though I realized those things much earlier today.
"No Ikuto, you were very sweet and spontaneous. At the time my mind was a jumbled mess of shit but I appreciate your telling me."I said proudly, letting my thumb stroke his rough knuckles. He seemed to be outraged by my words, although I wasn't really sure why.
"You appreciate it? Will you never tell me how you feel about me?" He pressed in silent desperation, his eyes tinged with a hint of anger, but I saw something beneath the surface there that he wasn't willing to share with me yet. I felt the ever present blush creep up my neck to my cheeks as I realized that Ikuto deserved more than my half-baked lies, especially with what he endured for me.
I didn't want to look through rose colored glasses anymore but I wasn't going to tell him how I felt either. Not yet anyway. "I'm not exactly sure yet...but when I come to a conclusion you will be the first to know." I reassured him, letting my left hand rest on his cheek, my thumb stroking his bruised cheek. His eyes widened at my actions but I didn't really pay it any mind. I mean...I guess I still just lied to him because I do know that I love him...I just couldn't express it to him until I was sure what I was going to do with that ass Tadase.
Seeming to read my mind Ikuto brought him up. "What about Tadase?" He asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice for a reason unknown. Well I always knew that Ikuto despised Tadase and picked on him but I never knew why. I sure do know why I don't like him now. His unexpected attitude made me scoff a laugh. "I'm breaking up with Tadase asap. He disrespected me and you as well, on top of his lack of attention to me. What sealed the deal for me was his protection for that trashy slut Saaya." I growled in agitation of Tadase's bullshit. Again, Ikuto's eyes widened as he took a sharp intake of breath and exhaled quickly as he sat up, leaning his back against the mahogany wood headboard. His features twisted in a multitude of different emotions, a swarm of emotions that put me in a state of bewilderment. Why was he torn by what I had told him? You would think it would make him happy...
He let out another breath that I didn't realize that he was holding, his tortured blue depths meeting mine. What the hell? This was getting a bit weird for my tastes. I let my index finger stray from his cheek, tracing his defined jawline, turning his handsome face to me. He flinched immediately and I cursed under my breath that I had forgotten how hurt he is.
"Yes Amu-koi..."he said gently, removing my finger from his face. Yes? What the hell is he saying yes for? "Ikuto...whats wrong?" I inquired, my golden depths frozen on his edgy form. Then it hit me-he's hiding something from me. He turned his face from me once more and shit, I knew there had to be a damn good reason that he would ever hide something from me. Ikuto and I were always honest and open with each other, obviously omitting the most important things like him being in love with me but that is understandable.
"Onegai Ikuto!" I pressed with urgency, feeling dread pool at the pit of my stomach. He then turned to me once more, his face a mask of stone. I was taken by surprise to see him convey that type of emotion to me but perhaps it was not me, it was the words he is about to speak to me.
"Amu, Tadase has been cheating on you with Saaya." I felt as if the wind had been knocked from my lungs as tears immediately filled my eyes. My body began to shake wildly, tears spilling over in a mad dash to free themselves from the prison of my eyes. WHAT THE FUCK? "N-NO...your lying!" I cried, standing up abruptly and turning away from him, for two reasons. There was no way in hell this could be true and I did not want Ikuto seeing me like this. I was heading for a breakdown and I would do it alone. I slowly turned back around to see his face twisted in remorse from telling me, but I should be appreciative. Somehow I knew that the words he spoke were true.
"I would never lie to you, Amu-koi, Kukai and I observed Tadase and Saaya not only walking and holding hands, but mauling each other in broad daylight. Yesterday this occurred but...I have known for almost a month now. When we went to the mall that day a while ago, I spied them doing pretty much the same thing in the Sanrio store. I'm sorry Amu-Koi, for not telling you sooner but it truly annihilates me to see you in this state of unrest. It upset me to keep this from you..." He explained slowly, choosing his words with caution, as to not upset me further. His voice was laced with discontent and his face was no longer a mask of stone, he actually appeared to be almost in tears himself, his eyes now almost translucent and glossy.
I felt a distinct sense of betrayal and not from Kukai and Ikuto. From that little cheating scum sucking bastard Tadase and his dirty little slut Saaya. I can't freaking believe he kissed me with the same disgusting lips that he put on that girls. I'm sure that Ikuto did what he felt was best for me while it fucking upsets me and pisses me off that he kept it hidden, but he should not be the outlet of my anger.
That motherfucker! I HATE Tadase Hotori with an undying passion that will FOREVER consume my soul. ARGHAMUFFIN! "Thank you, Ikuto. I will admit that I am a little furious with you for keeping it a secret it's not you who I want to castrate. That asshole and I got into a fight on the phone this morning and he bashed me but protected Saaya. My intuition told me that something was off and that I should follow up on my suspicions but I never got the chance. I'm so...I'm so fucking pissed!" I sobbed, throwing myself back into the chair, wringing my hair in frustration. Tears were dropping from my eyes as such a rapid and nonstop pace that I had no hope of seeing.
I hear Ikuto shuffle on the bed, laying on his side towards the middle of the bed, apparently leaving space for something. "Amu-Koi...come to me..." His silky voice beckoned to me in such a demanding yet seductive tone of voice. Or maybe he meant to be consoling but I felt it to be seductive and I am not ashamed to admit that I like it. I complied, my will to fight his temptation drained from me. I sluggishly moved the small distance to the queen sized bed and flopped onto it, immediately curling into his inviting warmth. It felt so...right. The heat from his body bringing an innate love to my soul that it appeared that only Ikuto could bring. He let his bruised hand rest upon the small of my back, his long fingers rubbing soothing circles into my tense body.
"Ne Amu-Koishii, shush...don't cry over that fag." He cooed, his sweet voice calling out to my broken heart and running jolts of electricity up and down my spine. I began to sob louder, my feeble hands clutching at his side in an attempt to get him to embrace me. This...this is the boy-no, man- that loves me..obviously not Tadase as I had initially thought. He cares and looks out for me and I can't seem to fight the love that is consuming me for him.
"Amu...I hate to see you like this...It makes me just want to console you...to kiss you and hug you and...everything else..."He uttered, his voice so rich with love that it made me want to cry. But blushing is what I did instead. Everything else? Whats everything else? And wow, he sure wasn't concerned with sharing his feelings for me now, considering he wants to kiss me. I merely curled into him more, nuzzling my nose into his strong chest.
I felt him wrap his arms around me, which earned a groan of dissatisfaction from the pain all over his body as he gently urged me close and I made sure I was as close to him as I could get. He pressed his soft lips to my forehead, letting me weep until all my tears were cried out and all I had left was mere hiccups. All the while, he never let me go, smoothing the hair that was stuck to my cheek from the tears that I shed. He constantly assured me that he was here and would never leave. My favorite was the reassuring that he would beat the hell out of Tadase, that I wanted to see but it would have to wait. Kukai would probably do it anyway.
Finally, my defeated golden depths found their way to his smothering pure sapphire hues, which were dripping with an unnerving amount of love. I was unaware that people could display that much emotion in their eyes and hell, Ikuto never needed to speak with how much he could convey without the usage of words. I finally found my voice somewhere out in the cosmos and decided to speak.
"I guess...I'm so hurt because he's my first boyfriend...how could I have not known? I'm such an idiot." I chastised myself, feeling like the biggest fool in the world. His lips slightly lifted at the corners to reveal a genuine smile. I felt his warm breath fan out over my lips as I noticed how extremely close we are...besides the fact that I could feel his voice reverberating from his body as he talked spoke volumes for how close we appeared to be.
"Iie, beautiful, you should not feel the need to be suspicious of your mate, just feel that they want you and if not- then break up. There is absolutely no excuse for his fuckery." His voice held a lilt of anger for obvious reasons. Fucking Tada-BITCH deserved the dislike Ikuto had for him. Now I see why he warned me that Tadase wasn't as perfect as I thought. Ugh, I could freaking stab that bastard.
Ikuto made an ample amount of sense, like, why the hell would Tadase tell me that he wanted to work things out but then cheat? I guess he wanted his cake and to eat it too. Well too bad that the only thing that he is gonna eat is shit.
"You are so wise Ikuto..." I mused, admiring the defined lines of his face while were in such a close proximity. He looked like a model or something, his lovely ice blue depths watching me under long lashes. "Ne Amu, I just know that if you were my girl...I would never dare to be unfaithful, nor would I ever have an inkling to be with another. I have stood idly by and admired you from my status as best friend, pining for you everyday." He paused only to cup my face in his large hands. "Now that you are within my grasp, I will never allow you to slip through my fingers once again." He breathed, a sense of empowerment seeming to overtake him as he spoke his words, which were drenched with a longing that I would never understand, because I have never been in his place. His eyes were such a deep shade of blue that I felt like I was drowning in a sea of his love, his lust and his longing.
My mouth was so close to his that my lips were ghosting over his, merely hovering just above. At that moment I just wanted him to kiss me and I knew he wanted to as well cause his breath was quickening in pace. God I just wanted to grab his hair roughly and smash his lips into mine, although that would hurt him, so I scrapped that idea as quickly as it was formulated in my mind.
"Ikuto...I..." Was all I could muster before his lips covered mine in a chaste kiss. I gasped as I observed his eyes boring down at me, I mean who kisses with their eyes open? His lips parted, his breath smelling of mint and chocolate and my willingness was strong because I finally took the initiative and closed the distance between us by softly kissing his mouth. My tongue sought entry into his mouth, but not before sliding across his swollen bottom lip in an attempt to sooth the pain that plagued him.
I hungrily ate his nearly inaudible moan, our mouths dancing fluidly like the rushing water in a stream, my hands feathering up and down his back and to his turquoise hair, burying themselves within. Our kiss was ethereal and it felt like heaven. So much better than kissing Tadase. There was no mauling or rabid ravaging like the last time we shared a kiss, this time...I could feel his endless well of love being portrayed to me in this heart-felt kiss we shared. He was utilizing his mouth to paint a portrait of his love, which was spilling over and busting at the seams by how long he had kept his love a secret.
That sure wasn't the only thing I felt, because it sure felt like he was extremely happy to see me. His hardness pressed against my stomach and it did something weird to my stomach, but I knew this for sure: I wanted Ikuto in more than just innocent kissing. I wanted to feel him grinding his hardness against me. I had never felt a guy against me and right this moment, I wanted to feel it pressed against my most sensitive spot or I felt I would die.
His tongue made it's voyage into my mouth but I had to break the kiss, panting attempting to get my breath. Was I ballsy enough to tell Ikuto what I wanted? I had to be because his body was telling me that it wanted the same thing. I know I was definitely not ready for sex yet...but a little hanky panky never hurt anybody.
"Ikuto..." I moaned, licking my bottom lip and pulling it between my teeth in an attempt to be sexy. I'm fairly certain that it worked because he was staring at me like he wanted to jump my bones. His eyes gazed down at me in a questioning manner but the lust in his eyes only made me even more sure of my decision. This was the least I could do to make it up to Ikuto... "Ne, Amu-Koi?" His voice was breathy and only served to further turn me on. "Ikuto...I..." I stuttered, clearly flustered. "Yes, love?" He prompted, waiting for a response from me.
"I..want to feel you..."I admitted gingerly, my cheeks heating a deep crimson color. His index finger lifted my chin so I couldn't look away from him, not like I could anyway. "Where...?" came his seductive purr into my ear, his tongue running across his bottom lip. "Show me where, my sexy Amu-Koi..." He urged, using his free hand to take hold of my hand. I sighed softly in embarrassment and led his hand to my crotch, placing his hand right where my body needed him the most. He sucked in his breath sharply and moaned in a raspy manner. "Don't be embarrassed Amu..."He then let his hand rub me and I gnawed on my bottom lip so I didn't moan, I just shut my eyes.
Before I knew it Ikuto was more or less on top of me, holding himself up with both hands above me. At first I wondered if he was hurting himself to do this but he seemed fine, better than fine if you ask me, because that coy smile never left his lips. I could merely stare in awe at this hotness before me, blinking several times only to see his sapphire depths burning me with their heat. "Amu, you want to feel me?" He asked, just to clarify that was what I did want. Most guys wouldn't bother to even ask but ever the gentleman, Ikuto asked once more. "Yea..."I answered with a small smile. He nudged my legs open with his leg that wasn't in a cast, a look of disbelief on his face.
He then smiled and sat up, making me wonder what he was doing. "Amu...I'm going to do something you'll like even better..." He whispered, his voice excited as his eyes were trained on my flimsy sleep shorts. "W-what are you going to do?" I question, my voice a little worried about his perverted mind and what it could possibly come up with. He merely averted his eyes to meet mine. "Do you trust me?" His voice was so intense that it took my breath away and I could only nod. His smirk widened as his breath began to quicken in anticipation. He let his hands quickly pull off my shorts, making me feel exposed and I sat up as well, smacking at his arm. "Hey!" I complained, moving my hands to cover the hello Kitty panties that I wore, causing a deep chuckle to exit his lips. "You're so fucking cute Amu..." He remarked, placing my shorts in my hands as he let his right hand rest on my thigh. My cheeks were aflame as he admired me, I mean he's such a pervert...
"A-am not..." I muttered as I watched him intently, his hand moving to remove my panties. When I smacked at his hand once again, he turned his puppy dog eyes on me, jutting out a bottom lip in a full on pout, which I had to admit, was pretty cute. "You said you trusted me...and you wanna feel good right?" he asked, still working that pout for everything it was worth. "Yea..."I responded quietly. "Then let me please you, Amu-Koi..." He purred in a way that made me dampen my panties, to which I'm sure he was aware. "O-okay..."
I closed my eyes as he pulled off my panties, only cracking them open to see the pleased smile about his lips. He then flexed the fingers on his right hand, letting one part my lips, which caused me to let loose a soft sigh. His eyes darted from my face and back to my clit, as he let one finger slip inside my wet and inviting warmth. I moaned his name softly and his focus was all on my face, his eyes half closed in lust. "Amuuuuu~You are so perfect and wet, so wet for me...And you...you're so freaking adorable. I knew you would look just like I imagined." he breathed, his voice sounding as if he were drunk from just feeling me. I hissed in pleasure as he added another finger, pumping them inside me in an even pace. I tried to keep my eyes focused on Ikuto but his lips were parted, his eyes hooded. I had no idea guys got this turned on just from fingering a girl.
He added yet another finger and I moaned sweetly, my hand sinking itself into the sheets and clenching into fists. He was now pumping his fingers into me deeply, twisting and gyrating them and I squeaked as he seemed just to hit the right spot inside me. I found myself deeply enjoying his ministrations and Ikuto looked so focused. "Amu...I wish it were me inside you now..." His voice was so deep right now that I found myself dizzy with want. I felt something building up inside me as his fingers played inside of me with my pleasure bud. "Me too, Ikuto...I wish it could be you..." I moaned and at that moment I wouldn't have cared. I wonder how he felt about my response...
"Ikuto hurry...I think I might cum..."I mumbled in slight embarrassment as he slammed his fingers within me, but I felt empty suddenly, as his fingers left me. But as quickly as they left, they were replaced with something wet and...oh god! I dared to glance down to see his face buried in my crotch, his tongue touching me deeper than his fingers did. I just about died seeing him there, his eyes still focused on my face. I writhed and moaned as his fingers stimulated my clit as his tongue plunged inside me and licked my jewel and then it happened.
My first ever, orgasm crashed down upon me, a blissful high that I had never felt before in my life. My head was swimming and I knew I moaned Ikuto's name as I felt him lick my juices from me, his tongue seeming to be hungry and needy. My walls were still contracting and my body spasming from the extreme ecstasy it was in just a moment sooner. I felt tired all of a sudden, my body going limp. Before I knew it, Ikuto had my panties and shorts on before I could even think.
"Amu..." He cooed, kissing my cheek gently. "Yea?" I asked softly, feeling embarrassed still despite the fact that I just shared 3 more firsts with him. The first time I got fingered. The first time I have had somebody go down on me and my first orgasm. Oh god...
"I love you so much." he assured me with a gleeful smile, his eyes a brilliant and pure sapphire hue. "Where did that come from?" I pondered aloud, poking the tip of his nose softly. "My heart." He replied with a nonchalant shrug, his eyes still staring at me. "Ikuto...I.."I was so damn flustered and I don't know why. Maybe it's because what we had just done but for some reason I didn't feel shame. Maybe I felt like an eye for an eye with Tadase. That asshole cheated on me for no reason and I cheated on him because I am in love with somebody else. Oh well for him, he's going to get a rude awakening pretty soon. "You tasted just like strawberry heaven. So delicious you are, my little Ichigio." He replied with a sly smirk. I frowned at him and stuck my tongue out.
"Aren't you...upset?" I asked softly, directing my eyes to his pants briefly before blushing. His gentle chuckle was a clear indication of no. "No...just bringing you pleasure gives me pleasure. Besides, there is always next time." He shrugged again and laid back on the bed, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. "H-hey! What if my parents catch us like this?" I exclaimed in worry, knowing my parents could have heard me earlier. "Ne...I'll just tell them that you were upset about Tadase cheating and I am consoling you. It's not like that's a lie." He replied as he nuzzled his cheek against mine in a rather adorable manner. I never noticed before how loving Ikuto could truly be. Underneath all of the perversion and the intensity, he is really just a lonely guy who just wanted to be loved by the girl he loves. "Ikuto?" I asked as I noticed his breathing even out.
I laughed as I realized that Ikuto had dozed off in less than a minute, his arms wrapped around me and his legs intertwined with my own. I remember last night Ikuto told me that he was going to make me fall in love with him. Little did he know that I was already so deep in love with him.
