Chronicles of Drakmoon

It's National Werepyre Killing Spree Day, and the Lycans forgot all about it. Elsewhere, Wolf and his team make friends with a wind dragon…sort of.

Chapter 6: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

"Only five more minutes until it's National Werepyre Killing Spree Day!" said Skunky.

"Stop acting like a schoolgirl Skunky, we're all happy we get to kill a shitload of Lycans and other enemies on our lists." said Scowlblane.

"I know, it's just exciting y'know? Tomorrow's the one day we can strike back at the vampires and cause as much mayhem as possible."

"Whatever. Want a breath mint Skunky?" asked Howlblane.

"What!"

"Heh, I'm just fuckin' with you."

"But seriously, you need a breath mint!" laughed Scowlblane.

"Shut up Scowl! Is that why you guys nicknamed me Skunky?"

"No, we nicknamed you Skunky cause look like a skunk and smell like one and you shoot some smelly liquid out your butt." said Howlblane.

"Seriously Skunky, I think you were a skunk before I bit you; you even got the white stripe on the back." said Maust.

"So I should stop wearing a black vest with a white stripe on it?"

"Yeah, wear red like I do." said Howlblane.

"Maust you don't even wear a shirt! Just a pair of tattered grey shorts." yelled Skunky.

"It goes with my blue fur and nose!"

"Why are we bitchin' about fashion when we're about to kill a crapload of people…?" asked Scowlblane.

"Yeeeah, you're right. Heh, maybe I'll get to skin another human again." said Wrack. He was the werepyre who skinned Wilk alive.

"Well you better save me some or I'll kick your ass." warned Howlblane.

"Christ, how much time left?" asked Gitcozty, a green werepyre wearing a black and blue shirt with gray shorts.

"60 seconds." said Scowlblane.

"All right my fellow werepyre lieutenants, let's not spoil the moment and just be quiet for the next…52 seconds." said Howlblane.

All the werepyres stood there, not making so much as a chuckle, although Skunky noticed Wrack licking his lips, drooling like crazy. He felt like he should make a joke about it or some dry comment. But he just kept his mouth shut. Howlblane saw his brother hold up five fingers, then four, three, two, and lastly only one…

12:00 midnight

"YEEEAAAHH!! GO MY WEREPYRE BROTHERS!! GO, GO, GO!!!" yelled Howlblane to his werepyres rushing out of their HQ.

"God, I love National Werepyre Killing Spree Day!"


"So tell me, what is this machine called again?" asked Chevsky, a new recruit with green fur.

"I call it The Load…for obvious reasons." said Kingswerst.

"The Load?" asked Mossin, the other new recruit who had grey fur.

"It's one of vital…sex machines."

Chevsky and Mossin laughed.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about? I didn't know Lycans were concerned about sex." said Chevsky.

"Have you ever had a time where you were just having the best sex with another wolf? Like just…doing her in the ass for two hours non-stop?"

"Heh, yeah, I see what you're saying."

"Well, that's why some perverted werewolf built The Load."

Mossin scratched his head. "I still don't get it."

"Let me just show you."

Kingswerst unzipped his pants and inserted his penis inside this tube right under the machine. Chevsky and Mossin looked with a raised eyebrow, wondering what he was doing.

"And now…you just relax. Just….relax. God, this feels good…"

Kingswerst suddenly passed gas and Chevsky and Mossin laughed.

"Hey, shut up! Nothing's wrong with flatulence during sex!"

"You fart when you're humping your mate in the ass?" asked Mossin.

"It's natural, it shows we're healthy!"

"So you just sit there and stick your dick in that tube?"

"No you idiots! It collects sperm. The point of the machine is to collect sperm so if we die tomorrow, we can still have offspring."

"Like a sperm bank?"

Kingswerst pulled out his penis and zipped his pants back up. "Pretty much. Now go kill some vampires."

"See ya Kingswerst!" said Chevsky, walking past Stinky.

"Who's that, new recruits?" asked Stinky.

"Yeah, couple of screw heads I knew a while back."

"Right, I think I know them from somewhere. What's our schedule for day? It's already two in the morning and many of our warriors are sleeping."

"I know we're not hunting for danglits again." Kingswerst sighed. "Let's go hunting for that spy Urvag. Lately he's been taming earth dragons and trying to use them against us."

"…Wasn't Urvag a werewolf like us?"

"WAS Stinky! He betrayed us and let that bastard Howlblane turn him into one of his own! You know what the punishment is for betrayal!"

"Yeah, yeah."

Itchin walked into the room holding a newspaper, scratching and biting himself like crazy.

"Guys you better be glad I fetch the morning paper or we'd be screwed!"

"Why?" asked Stinky.

Itchin slammed the newspaper on a table and it said "Caution! National Werepyre Killing Spree Day tomorrow!"

"Shit, I completely forgot about that! Thanks Itchin!" said Stinky.

"It's today, Itchin. Yesterday morning you got the newspaper, and it's 2:35 in the morning."

"…What does that mean?"

"We got six hours to get our warriors ready!" yelled Kingswerst.

"Guys--"

"WHAT!" yelled Kingswerst.

"If Howlblane gets a head start…"

"Stinky, Howlblane isn't gonna start at exactly midnight…"

Itchin, Stinky and Kingswerst looked at the paper and then at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Ohhh, shit."

"Wake everyone up, now!!!" yelled Kingswerst, rushing out the room with his weapons.


"SHANK!!!" I yelled. Shank had mysteriously disappeared and me and Sheemer were left to find him in the forest.

"Goddamnit--SHANK!!"

"Hello! Where the 'ell are you?" I wondered.

"Why don't we just sniff him out? I don't know any other Lycan that reeks of dragon urine."

"How many dragons you see just fly around and pee on the ground?"

"Thousands."

"Yeah, thousands!"

"Fuck it, I'm still gonna use my nose." Sheemer got on all fours and began to sniff the dirt and air, hoping to get whiff of Shank.

"It's this way, c'mon on!"

Sheemer and I ran across the forest, traversing through the dead leaves and dirt, tripping over a log on the way.

"Stop, stop. He's somewhere over here."

"Yeah…I'm starting to smell him too."

"Yes…" Sheemer inhaled so hard, I could see his nostrils move. "He's very close by…"

I took another whiff real fast and suddenly got a different scent. "Sheemer, do you smell a dragon…?" I asked.

"He's right over…HERE!"

Something gray moved upward and a loud farting noise came out from behind I, followed by a loud sense of laughter.

"That was too funny!" said Shank.

"What the hell was that?! The only animal whose farts smell that bad are--"

"Dragons." I said.

"How's it goin' wolfies?"

The gray figure turned around and revealed its face to us. It was a dragon, big and gray, with dark grey spikes on its head.

"Shank, what're you doing making friends with a wind dragon?!"

"Oi! I thought you wolfies were fond of dragons!" said the dragon.

"No Lycan likes a creature that does fly-by snacking and has a thing for defecating while flying!" yelled Sheemer.

"So? And he's a plasma dragon and wind dragon hybrid." Shank corrected.

"So your parents…?" I asked.

"Right. One was a wind dragon, the other plasma. That's why I only got a few spikes on my head and don't have angel-like wings wolfie."

Sheemer sighed. "What do you think we should do Wolf?"

"The only thing I hate more than Sheemer's sewer breath--"

"Hey!"

"--Is humid dragon breath. And I don't want to walk around with a wind-plasma dragon hybrid pooping on my back."

"Don't worry bout that wolfie; the lake's my toilet!" he said smiling.

"C'mon guys! I've never tamed a dragon before! Last time it took me two years! I did it overnight! And he could be a spy for us! Y'know, warn us about a massive coalition of dragons attacking us!"

"I fly well too! I'm part wind dragon so I fly better than any other type of dragon."

Sheemer and I looked at each other and scratched our heads.

"Got a name dragon?" I asked.

"Dracayne. The name's Dracayne wolfie."

"Well, Dracayne…as long as you don't pester us every five minute…you can be Shank's 'pet' savvy?"

"YEAH!! I get to keep a wind dragon!" said Shank.

"Just make sure Kingswerst doesn't spot him or you're screwed." said Sheemer.

"Thanks wolfies! Why don't I give you blokes a ride on my back…?" asked Dracayne.

Then I saw it. A twinkle in his eye. Not the backstabbing twinkle, the joke twinkle that comes before the sly smile.

"Uh…why don't you get on first Sheemer?"

"Whatever, more leg room for me!" Sheemer ran behind Dracayne.

"Are you standing directly behind me?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Dracayne lifted his tail and farted in Sheemer's face, blasting him towards a tree. All three of us were on our backs laughing our asses off.

"And that is why they're called wind dragons!" I yelled.

"This is gonna be a long week…" moaned Sheemer.


Howlblane, Scowlblane and Wrack were hungrily eating the remains of a small pack of soldiers while Wylckik, an orange furred werepyre in a blue and black striped shirt and brown shorts held a knife to one of their necks.

"This isn't fair! You're not supposed to do this. Why do you werepyres go on rampages every year?!?" asked the soldier.

"I didn't make up the holiday." scoffed Wylckik, cutting the human's throat.

Howlblane and his comrades walked inside the bunker and started rampaging through all the weapons until they were suddenly carrying crates full of ammunition into a large trailer truck.

"Are we really gonna try and destroy the Werewolf base like last year?" asked Wylckik.

"No, but after today, we're gonna have enough weapons to dominate this whole planet." said Howlblane, smiling devilishly.

"Why's that?" asked Skunky.

"Cause today, we're gonna take over the Henrise facility in the Freezetar Wastelands."

"Are you crazy Howlblane? Everyone who's tried taking that place over got shot to pieces!" said Gitcozty.

Howlblane laughed. "That was before we got these weapons. I could take out an army of dragons single-handedly right now if I wanted too!"

"…Holy crap. You're really serious bro! We're gonna gain control of that facility!" said Scowlblane.

"And with it, we can destroy and take over any part of the Drakmoon Forest in the blink of an eye!"

Everyone smiled devilishly, knowing they were going to succeed in less than 24 hours. Howlblane would take over the bunker systems and all the werepyres could destroy the werewolves' HQ in one strike.

"This is going to be fun."

To be continued…