THE 'G' IN GOD
CHAPTER SIX
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM
The Virgo temple was too quiet. Shaka had always liked how he could be alone in his temple, away from the world and it's weaknesses. For some time now, however, he'd stopped feeling comfort in his time alone, and started feeling the weight of his loneliness.
It was the doubt that made him feel the need for company. Doubt caused fear, and fear was proof that he was attached to something; you could only be afraid of losing something you're dependent on. Shaka did not like that. For dependence only meant he wasn't free of earthly desires. And it is desire that brings suffering, after all.
But what could he possibly desire, that he didn't already have? It was easy to rationalize his feelings until he could trace his loneliness all the way to that supposed desire he couldn't even dare imagine. But he wasn't philosophizing, he was thinking about *his* life; a *real* life.
So, Shaka thought, he'd have to put a distinct name to those emotions so easily rationalized. And he knew exactly where to start, even if he didn't want to. The doubt, he knew, had been planted there almost a year ago. He'd had his ideals so firmly set up in his mind. But then here he comes, a knight in shining amour defending justice and friendship, and making all his world shatter into little bits.
He didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore; where he'd been right and where he'd been wrong. If he could be wrong to begin with- if he'd made a mistake- who's to know how many others he'd made during all his lifetimes? So there was doubt.
The fear? That was easy. He was afraid of losing the world he'd so fervently believed in. There's no greater fear than to wake up one day and realize you'd been deluding yourself all along. If life wasn't what he'd thought it was, did he want the life he'd made for himself?
The answer, he knew it, was a rotund no. And that led him to the desire. Oh, he didn't need to figure that one out. And, he thought smirking, as obvious as a conclusion as it was, he also knew it wasn't Ikki the one he desired. At least, it wasn't the desire that was bringing him pain.
Yes, Ikki had somehow found a way through every defense he'd put up around himself. Yes, the Virgo saint often found his meditation interrupted by annoying thoughts of the dark haired boy. He wasn't sure if it was love, or simply curiosity.
But he, more often than not, found his thoughts plagued with memories of that fleeting moment in time, when he and Ikki had both shared Nirvana. There was so much peace there; he didn't know where he ended and the others' souls begun. There hadn't been any doubt, any fear; no evil. He wasn't alone.
And then he was brought back. Or he'd come back, he didn't remember, nor he cared. What Shaka desired; what was bringing him so much pain, was death.
In the stillness of the night, their steps reverberated through the stone ruins; yet even the sound of metal on stone couldn't really break the deafening silence of their anticipation.
The six shadows walked in organized procession, the leader alone at the front, followed by other three. The last two walked behind, slightly separated from the rest, and that's just how the others liked it, too.
Shura couldn't find it in him to lift his head and look at anything besides his feet; his conscience weighing too heavy on his mind to let him do so. This was surreal. The most faithful of saints, selling his soul to Hades for renewed life. It just couldn't be happening.
Of course he knew that he had no reason to feel regret. He hadn't truly sold his soul. But he was marching swiftly through what used to be his home, ready to kill his friends if they got in his way, supposedly meaning to cut Athena's head.
Would Athena see through the lie? God, he hoped so! He wouldn't bear to see the betrayal in her eyes; not again.
A hand rested on the small of his back, taking him out of his musings and Shura looked up to see Saga's face filled with understanding.
"We're not betraying her," the blue haired man whispered, as if he'd been reading his thoughts.
Shura nodded tersely. Who'd have thought that Saga, of all people, would be the one to understand how he felt the most? But it was obvious; Saga hadn't meant to betray Athena either, and had found himself doing it anyway. Their stories had been very different, but the outcome was the same. Guilt.
Camus turned his head to look at them with a small frown. It was obvious that the ice saint didn't approve of their display, and Shura could understand why. Aphrodite and Death Mask were just a few steps behind them. Any sign of regret could have their plan backfiring in an instant.
But Shura wasn't as cool headed as Camus was. He found himself envying the Aquarius saint's temperance. It made him one hell of a bad friend, but most definitively a reliable comrade.
Shion stopped just feet away from the Aries temple and turned to look at them all. The remaining five gathered in front of him, awaiting orders.
"Do you all know what to do?" the former pope said, his gaze lingering on the three that were in his favor. Those words had a completely different meaning to them.
The five nodded gravely. But before they could resume their walk, one of them held up a hand and smirked. It was Death Mask, and Shura had to do a great deal of effort not to show his alarm. There was something about that man that didn't go well with him. Maybe it was the fact that he was a psycho?
"There's a slight change in plans, I'm afraid." The former Cancer saint declared lightly. Shura glanced at Saga and Camus and found them both showing as much apprehension as he felt.
"What do you mean?" Shion asked cautiously.
"I think we," the former Cancer saint motioned to Aphrodite, who gave them a smug smile; the others just glared at them. "Should go in first."
Now, you have to understand the importance of their mission. They'd been willing to publicly betray Athena, so that they could help in a way only *they* could help. Nothing, absolutely *nothing*, could go wrong. The suggestion- though it'd sounded more like a command- for a change of plans was not something they could deal with so easily; especially coming from *those* two.
"And why's that?" Shion's tone was weary.
The Capricorn saint could see the disgust in the former pope's eyes as he spoke, but he could recognize that the green haired man was doing his best to refrain from showing it.
Aphrodite stepped in; the fair saint walked up to Shion wearing a coy smile and Shura inwardly smirked. Old habits died hard, ne?
"You know?" Aphrodite almost purred. "We were busting our brains out trying to figure out why you lot, of all people, would accept Hades' offer. You have to admit, it's rather suspicious." The former Piscis saint said with a lopsided smile on his face.
Shura's breath caught on his throat. They couldn't suspect, they couldn't! If they knew... then everything would be lost. There was no way to stop them from running to Hades to rat them out. They couldn't even kill them; that would just mean that Hades would find out a lot faster!
He wasn't the only one in shock, though. Shion's expression was of pure panic for a moment, and Saga was fuming. Shura figured their reactions had been more than eloquent, but it was too late to dwell on that. Only Camus stood unperturbed, watching the scene carefully.
Saga took a menacing step forward, hands clenched into fists, and Shura feared he'd lose it and kill them right on the spot. Shion must have thought so too, because he raised a hand in warning.
"So, it's true," The Pisces saint said, mock surprise. "Why, you deceiving little devils!"
Death Mask snickered.
"We're going first." the Cancer saint declared, as if it was him who had the last word. Well, maybe it was.
"Look!" Shion began, all kindness or caution forgotten. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm leading this mission and *I* decide when there's a change in plans."
Camus showed the first sign of a reaction as he stepped forward, shaking his head no.
"I think you should do as they say, Shion," he stated, deadly calmed.
"What?" Saga voiced everyone else's question, rather heatedly too. "Has the ice finally frozen you brain, Camus? Who knows what they're up to!"
"Do you really think," the Aquarius saint began, just the slightest hint of a smile on his lips, "that they don't know our plans already?" At everyone's simultaneous gasp, Camus closed his eyes and sighed. "They were gold saints too, remember?"
"I'd rather forget." Shura muttered.
Cancer and Pisces seemed completely unperturbed by his comment, or their reactions; in fact, they looked amused. Camus went on.
"They know. And they're still here. What's more important, *we* are still here. I don't know their motivations; surely it's not loyalty. But they're with us. We would be back in the underworld otherwise."
Death Mask clapped mockingly and laughed.
"Well, at least one of you has a brain!"
"Why?" Shion asked with a frown and a tone filled with mistrust. "Why would you side with us? Last thing I heard, you died fighting Athena!"
"Uhm, true," Death Mask conceded sheepishly. "But really, what are the odds of Hades winning this battle? Just look at history!" He waved a hand in the air for a dramatic effect, and Aphrodite snickered. "If we fight for Hades, we'll end up back at Tartarus(*), no chance of ever coming back. This way, at least we can hope Athena will take it easy on us. And if not, well... Twelve hours is a good enough vacation from hell." The last came out almost in a whisper.
Shura was astonished. The night was growing more and more bizarre by the minute. He'd never thought he'd ever feel sorry for the Cancer saint; he certainly wasn't one to provoke sympathy. But almost a year in hell will do that to a person, Shura guessed.
"And so," Aphrodite spoke next, and Shura got the impression that he was being more sober than usual. "We go first. Mu will never fully believe you've sold yourselves to the enemy. But he'd believe it coming from us."
Shion was wide eyed, probably as shocked at finding himself agreeing with those traitors as Shura was.
"If he sees you first, he won't doubt us." The former pope breathed, as if he'd just experienced an epiphany.
"Let's go, then. There's no time to waste." Camus stated simply, Saga and Shura exchanged puzzled looks, but they still did as Camus said.
Their pace was a firm one, a somber one, as they reached the Aries temple, ready to kill or be killed- or both- for the sake of a world that had all but forgotten about them.
Something- not a noise, not a nightmare- had managed to violently pull Ikki out of his restless slumber. His eyes, still blurred and unfocused, darted around the room and, in spite his confusion, the first thing he noticed was the lack of a sleeping boy in his arms.
He should have probably felt worry and concern; he should have probably leaped out of bed to go searching for his brother, but something in him prevented him from getting up, from feeling anything.
It was the smell, he realized; the room was soaked with a coppery aroma, strong enough for him to taste. An aroma he was way too familiar with. Blood. And Ikki felt a tight pressure in his chest. He didn't dare look around and find the source of that smell, because he had his suspicions.
"Shun?" he whispered, half frightened, half angry. But there was no answer.
At least, he thought, Shun's cosmo was still there. At least, he knew his brother was still alive; though it would be a cold day in hell before he found any comfort in feeling just how dark and bitter Shun's cosmo had become.
It was the other two cosmos that forced him into action.
He bolted out of bed, blindly reaching for his cloth. What were they doing there? He needn't be a genius to put two and two together and realize his brother's absence, plus the blood, were probably related to those two presences that he'd last known as enemies.
The cloth came to him immediately, instinctively, covering his form. Ikki gasped, as his cosmo burned with that of the Phoenix. There was something off; the cloth felt different; it was choking him.
So much more powerful than before, it breathed new life; a dangerous life. Ikki fell to his knees. The spirit of the cloth tapped against his own, seeking entrance and, as much as Ikki tried to repel the dark energy, the Phoenix was a part of him already. (**)
He had to gather a great deal of strength to just turn his head and look at the box that had held the cloth a moment before. Ikki's heart stopped. It was from there that the smell of blood came from. Of course, the cloth had absorbed most of it, made it its own, but the box was still coated with it.
"Shun..." he called out again, his voice breaking.
It was Shun's blood. He could tell, because it still had Shun's cosmo warming it. But as much as his cloth- as the Phoenix and Shun's cosmo- were burning his skin, on the inside, Ikki felt cold.
It was so dark, so bitter. One thing was to feel that around his brother; another thing was to feel it seeping into himself, awakening memories and feelings he'd thought himself way past from. Bitterness, anger, loneliness; he knew them well, and they were his again.
"Shun..."
No love, no friendship. Alone. All there was, was death. Everyone he loved died or betrayed him. There was nothing but death, and hate. Alone, he was all alone.
The fire in him was turning black again. It burned. It froze him. Not a single soul who could know how it felt to be so alone; no one to trust but himself.
It was overwhelming; because he was no stranger to these sensations. He would lose himself; he would forget why he'd stopped aching. The cloth and him were one. The hate and him were one. It was his blood.
~I'm sorry, Nii-san.~
"Shun!" He gasped, his lungs finally filling with air again.
Ikki took a few more deep breaths and got on his feet, the voice he'd just heard in his mind had given him the strength to break free. Shun had been the one to set him free. Those feelings were his, and he knew how to deal with them. Shun needed him.
The Siberian wind wasn't being kind with the inhabitants of the small, forgotten town in which Hyoga was currently spending his evening. The weather was so awful that, as he looked out the window from Jacob's living room, he was grateful of not having to endure such a storm inside that battered old cabin of his.
But he didn't care much for social reunions and Jacob and his grandfather were currently entertaining some guests- a usual occurrence during such cruel winters. He separated himself from the group and alternated his gaze from them to the snow falling mercilessly outside. They were all laughing and sharing anecdotes around the hearth, each holding a cup of warm cocoa.
The scene was so alien to him that the Cygnus saint couldn't fight the sadness that it arose in him. He'd never known the warmth of a family and, looking at the group of friends in their mirth, he wasn't sure he even knew friendship. Yes, he and the other saints had been kindred spirits; he'd trust them with his own life. But they'd never shared peace; never laughter or a moment of leisure. They always split up during those times.
In his mind, death still seemed like the better option. He didn't quite remember why he'd let Jake drag him to his house in the first place, but he was starting to regret it. Whatever connection he'd felt with his young friend, seeing him so happy and loved had shattered the illusion.
'That dream', he thought, frowning in spite himself. It was still haunting him, filling him with dread and hope at the same time. Was it a premonition, or his subconscious telling him what he wanted?
Maybe living with one foot in the grave wasn't such a great idea. Maybe he should just stop mourning, once and for all. His mother, Crystal, even Camus and Isaac, would have wanted him to. But perhaps, he just didn't care about what people who'd abandoned him wanted.
'They didn't abandon me', he reasoned. No, they hadn't abandoned him, that was true. He'd killed them. So why couldn't he dispose of his own life as he'd done with so many others? He clenched his mother's rosary that still hung from his neck.
It was a sin; his thoughts were a sin. But to which god? Did he believe in *any* god? The god of his childhood must have been a lie. How could there be an Athena, if his god existed? He'd never been one to blame God of his misfortune. It would have been terribly unfair- or so his mother had taught him- to ask God to strip others from their free will so one wouldn't suffer. Humans caused other humans to suffer, and all God could do was walk beside you, hold you and comfort you, if you let him.
But it wasn't true. There was no god to comfort him, no god to walk him through life. There were only a bunch of power-crazy maniacs with too much strength for their on good. And Athena. A girl, just a girl. And one he didn't even like that much, even if he was loyal to her.
The rattle of glass shook him out of his reverie. The wind was blowing even harder, making the windows tremble. None in the house noticed, though; nor were they *seeing*, like Hyoga was, the perfect definition of the snowflakes. They didn't notice how the wind had stopped blowing from the west and was now circling their house, and their house alone.
Hyoga was frozen in place; he didn't react, he couldn't
"That... That cosmo..." he half whispered, half hissed.
~'Come out, Hyoga. I'm waiting.'~
His heart leaped with joy. Though he wasn't sure if it was joy, exactly, but it was the first thing he'd felt in ages. Hyoga jumped from his seat and ran out of the house, ignoring Jacob's startled questions. There was just too much snow for him to see anything.
'Where are you?' he thought, anxiously. His cosmo was everywhere.
"Master!" he called, trying to make his voice audible over the loud wind. "Master, I can't see you!"
Hyoga was feeling... giddy, for a lack of a better term. He felt happy. Not once he'd stopped to think what that presence could mean. Not once he'd doubted.
'He's back! He really is back!'
~'Do you know why I came, Hyoga?'~ His master asked, again in his mind.
It was impossible to see anything beyond white, to hear anything but the screaming air hurting his ears; it was getting harder and harder just to remain standing. A feeling of dread crept up Hyoga's heart, but he wouldn't acknowledge it. There was nothing to fear.
Yet his master's cosmo felt... now that he was paying attention. 'No!' Hyoga thought, shaking his head. 'It's not possible.'
'It's not like him being here in the first place is possible' his reason interjected, as his thrill upon hearing Crystal's voice began to subside.
"No, master; I don't." Hyoga admitted at last. "But I don't care, just let me see you!" 'Please, just let me know this isn't another dream,' he prayed.
~'Very well'~ Crystal's voice was heavy, filled with sadness and in turn, filling Hyoga with dread.
The wind blew even harder, forcing the Cygnus saint to kneel down. The first thing he saw was the gleam of the Crystal saint's cosmo at a distance. He wasn't sure of just how distant it was, though; his field of vision was severely limited to a sea of white.
Finally, he could discern the shadowy form of the man he'd thought of as a father, walking towards him. He wanted to get up and run to meet him. For a fleeting moment, he even thought about hugging him, though the idea never got to take form.
Like a slap on his face, the wind he now knew was Crystal's doing, kept him in place. Hyoga was stunned, shocked by the force of the blow and the vision of his master clad in a black cloth, so much like his previous one, but with a darkness about it that wasn't a result of the color. Just like in his dreams, he noted. So, seeing as the Cygnus saint wasn't saying anything, Crystal spoke again; this time out loud.
"I've come here to kill you."
Julian placed Shun gently on the sofa, brushing the boy's bangs tenderly. He looked so frail and delicate, and yet he knew that was a deception to his senses. In a good day, Shun was very deadly indeed. Now he was beyond dangerous. Not only because of *whose* soul he bared, but because he was terribly unstable now, thanks to it.
If Julian had known he was already awake, he'd never come the way he did. He would have certainly left Sorrento behind; he'd never intended to put his love in danger. He wouldn't have come unannounced either; that was bound to provoke Hades' most dark emotions to surface. But what's done is done and he couldn't afford any second thoughts. He was here for a reason; this turn of events just complicated things a little.
At least, he figured, he'd gotten there before Shun left. Eying the bandaged wrist and the duffel bag laying beside the foot of the stairs, he knew it had been a close call. If Shun managed to leave without hearing him out, then hell would have broken loose. Well, that could still happen, Julian thought tiredly, but at least he had a chance to prevent it this time.
Just by looking at the boy, Julian could tell he wasn't coping so well. And who could blame him? Even he, himself, had one hell of a hard time when he realized there was more to him than what he'd believed all his life. Shun's case was a lot more complicated, though.
The blue haired man took the pendant hanging from his little brother's neck between his fingers- testimony of the atrocities himself and the others had brought upon him- feeling his eyes burn with unshed tears. Still he smiled fondly.
"You were always so unpredictable, huh? Always causing me a headache," he whispered. "I'm sorry, brother." Julian placed a tender kiss on the sleeping boy's brow, one stray tear traveling down his cheek. "I'm going to make it up to you, I promise. All you have to do is give me a chance."
He heard the distinct sound of someone clearing his throat and Julian turned around to find Sorrento eying him with the most adorable of pouts. Of course, he'd never tell his love that he pouted when he was frustrated; that would just earn him an early death. But as cute as Sorrento looked at the moment, Julian knew he had some explaining to do.
The problem was, he didn't know where to begin. Should he admit that he'd lied to his love all this time? Was he ready to lose him? There had to be a way. The god of the seas stood, walking up to the other boy cautiously, watching every single change of Sorrento's beautiful eerie eyes. He was angry, but not dangerously so.
"I'm still waiting for an explanation; and it better be a good one."
"Sorrento..." Julian rested his head on the boy's shoulder, circling his waist. Relief washed over him when the other boy returned the embrace." I... Where do I start?"
"You could tell me why you lied about Poseidon?" Sorrento whispered in his ear, making Julian jump.
He lifted his eyes to stare deeply into Sorrento's.
"You...you know?"
"Now, I do. And not because you bothered to tell me." Sorrento scolded, but his gaze softened a moment later and he brushed Julian's hair tenderly. "But I guess I understand."
"I'm sorry," he breathed, pulling Sorrento for a hug. "I couldn't tell you. Forgive me."
"So it's true? You're still... What are you, exactly?"
Julian sighed deeply.
'You wouldn't be able to handle it, if I answered that in earnest.' he thought, but still came up with a slightly truthful answer. "I'm Poseidon, reincarnated, of course."
"But Athena!" Sorrento sounded alarmed, as if it was the first time the thought crossed his mind. "If she finds out, then..."
Julian shushed him with a kiss.
"She knows. And, as Shun so eloquently put it, she has me by the balls. There's no danger for us. At least not coming from her."
The other boy chuckled a bit, relaxing in his arms.
"Just which one of your relatives is he? I lost track a while back."
Julian had to smile at that, even if the thought brought him sadness.
"He's my brother," he said fondly, as if there were memories of bright times shared between them. Oh, there were, but they weighed nothing against the suffering. He sighed. "Shun's... he's Hades."
Sorrento pulled back, eyes wide with shock and Julian knew it wasn't because of reality, but because of what humanity remembered of his brother. Humanity hadn't been exactly fair with him but, the sad part was Julian knew if Sorrento had been aware of the truth, he'd be even more scared; and maybe not so forgiving.
"Hades?... But he's... he's..."
"Shhh, it'll be ok." Julian took Sorrento's face in his hands, gently caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. "I'll make it alright."
Their lips brushed softly, tentatively, and Julian felt shivers overtake him. The reality of it all was finally sinking in. There was a *big* chance that this would be the last moment of peace he'd be able to share with his love. Probability wasn't on his side; he could very well die in the battle that was to come, and he'd be lucky if that was all that happened to him. He deserved a lot worse.
'Please,' he begged, though he didn't know to whom he was begging, and pulled Sorrento closer to him. 'Please, don't let this moment end.'
In the midst of their kiss, that was growing heated at an alarming pace, they failed to notice the figure looming over them atop the stairs. They didn't feel the presence, nor heard the footsteps, both clinging to that moment desperately.
Down by the Rozan waterfall, an old master left the spot he'd guarded for over 243 years, uttering a prayer for his pupil.
A saint, a boy, mulled in silence and in darkness about his uncertain future.
A girl saw, with alarm, how three figures clad in black cloaks came to take away the peace she so cherished, and the boy she loved even more.
In a forgotten castle in Germany, a young woman saw the shadow of her brother disappear completely and smiled.
A general watched this, hidden in shadows, planning his next move.
Somewhere in Tokyo, two lovers shared a kiss tainted with the flavor of finality.
A brother watched, for some reason compelled to let them have that moment, before time started running again, taking them all with it.
A boy, a god- a demon- opened his eyes, fully aware for the first time in his life.
In Siberia, a young man could do nothing but watch, as his dreams come true, turned into nightmares. As he was forced to fight his father again.
Back in Greece, one young man bid a friend good night after sharing a delicious dinner and a warm talk, and stepped outside his temple to look at the stars.
Six renegades observed him, preparing themselves for their tasks. Some with heavy hearts, some with a familiar thrill invading them.
A young woman fought against the feelings she had for two boys. One she loved more than she could handle, and one that would die at her hands, already stained with blood.
A grieving friend went back home.
A young man thought about the woman who'd won his heart.
One brother defied orders to find his sister, while another went against his every principle and did the right thing.
A Gold saint, a virtuous man, held his rosary tight. 108 beads for each life wasted; 108 chances to go back.
The beads started to gleam. Shaka smiled and whispered to no one.
"I'm coming."
TBC
(*)Tartarus is a place of punishment in the Underworld, where all bad boys who don't finish their soup and keep corpses in their rooms go.
(**) Cloths are alive, right? I swear I remember Ikki saying his cloth had a cosmo. I feel they have an identity of their own. If that's bull, pretend it's not for this story.
To avoid confusion, I'm going to list every character that appeared on that last section in order: Dohko, Shiryu, Shunrei, Pandora, Radamanthys, Julian & Sorrento, Ikki, Shun/Hades, Hyoga, Mu, Shion and the others, Saori, Milo, Aioria, Seiya, Kanon (these last four all in the same paragraph) and last but not least Shaka.
