EPOV
After dropping Angela back at the residence and asking Alice to pass on my message to Bella, I reached home to find Jasper and mom waiting for me in my room. Mom had a plate of lunch with her. I went and laid down on the bed without saying anything. "Edward, are you all right?" Jasper spoke up. "I'm fine Jazz, Mom really" I tried to reassure both of them. I saw a look exchanged between mom and Jasper.
"Ok, I'll leave then. Will pick you up for going to the mess around 6". That's when I realized that Bella would not be able to come today. Shit.. I was looking forward to the evening. I had planned to ask her for a dance or 2 during the evening so that we could at least talk privately and I could have her in my arms for some time. I really didn't want to go as she was not going to be there now.
"Jazz, I think I will pass today. I'm not feeling quite well"
I heard Jasper sighing. "You should come. Alice and Rose are going to be there. We may get a chance to talk to them and find out how Bella was doing. Alice will tell us if Bella accepted and had the food that you got Angela to sneak in for her." I looked at Jasper alarmed that he may not agree with me on this. I had basically got Angela to break a rule and I was the chief instructor here.
Jasper saw the look on my face and started laughing "Don't look so shocked Eddie baby, Esme told me about your frantic call to her requesting her to pack up some things that Bella liked in 15-20 mins."
Esme chuckled – "You were lucky as I had already prepared her favorite pasta dish for lunch today and had all the ingredients of a cheese sandwich at home."
I had thought of calling mom as soon as we left the cadets residence in the morning. But it simply slipped out of my mind with all the council and police station business. I remembered to call her only when Angela talked to me about Bella at the police station. I wanted to kick myself for forgetting such an important thing and was really grateful when Mom assured me that she will have something ready for me in the time that it will take us to reach home.
"You didn't seriously think that I will rat you out on this, right?" Jasper asked me.
I shook my head – "No, I really didn't think that. But still I should have told you myself or better still taken your consent before doing anything."
"Don't be silly Edward; I know your intent with the punishment had nothing to do with starving her. You were simply caught unawares when the warden mentioned that she will need to come to the mess for meals. And of course you couldn't back down at that point. After all, you have a reputation to uphold – how would it have looked if "the monster" had reversed or lessened a punishment for something as inconsequential as food." He winked and left.
Mom came and sat in front of me on the bed. "Edward, come and have lunch. You missed breakfast also today."
"Sorry mom, I really don't feel like eating anything right now. I will have something later."
I could see that mom was not happy with my response. "Edward, don't feel bad son. You did the right thing. Jasper told me everything that happened there. We all know how irrational Bella gets when she is in that state of mind. You did well by forcing her to spend some time alone. I'm sure she will be back to her normal self after a few hours of solitude."
"But mom, she will need to remain in her room the whole day because of the punishment. It's her first day off since training started and I know she was looking forward to visiting the officer's mess in the evening."
"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't you dare start blaming yourself for that. Bella should have known that you were not there in the capacity of her boyfriend, but as the chief instructor of the training batch. She had no business questioning your authority in front of her entire batch and then some. She should have kept her temper in check. And if you ask me, she really got off easy looking at her offence. If it had been someone else but you, she would have received a much harsher punishment. Moreover, as her boyfriend also she should have trusted you to do the right thing for Angela."
"But mom, she was so overwhelmed with everything, she was not thinking straight…."
"That is no excuse Edward. This is precisely what she needs to learn if she wants to serve in the armed forces. She needs to maintain her cool and remain calm in pressure situation. Your going easy on her is not going to help her son."
I understood what mom was trying to say and realized that she was correct. Bella needed to learn to handle pressure. I decided that I will not eat anything today as part of her punishment. I know it will be more effective than not allowing her any food.
"I get your point mom. You are right, I was a little lenient with her. So I'm going to rectify that now. Can you please take back my lunch and don't get any dinner prepared for me. I'm not going to have any meals today."
Mom looked a little displeased but then sighed and picked up the plate – "I don't like this method too much, but I guess you cannot go back now and increase her punishment. So in view of the circumstances I understand this would be the best way. And the most effective way as well." Mom chuckled, "I understood very early that the most effective punishment for both of you was when the other person was inconvenienced"
"Inconvenienced!..Come on mom, it was more like 'howling in pain' by the time you were done" – I tried to lighten up the mood a little.
The rest of the day went off smoothly. I had some water and crackers at mom's insistence, but nothing substantial. Jasper came around 5:30 and we went to the mess together. I told him about my plan of increasing Bella's punishment; he simply laughed and wished me good luck with the cramps. We decided to let Alice know about it – that way I was sure news would reach Bella.
We had a good time at the mess – though I missed Bella terribly. Jasper actually grew a pair and asked Alice for a dance. And informed her about my hunger strike during the dance. We did not tell her anything about the whole "augmenting the punishment" thing. Though I was confident that Bella will know the true purpose when Alice tells her. That's all that I needed to happen.
The next morning came in finally and at 5:30 precisely, I was standing in front of the whole batch. I saw that Bella was standing with her eyes downcast. Peter was to take the sessions today. So after informing them of the schedule, I was about to pass on the baton (literally) to him when I heard Bella asking for permission to say something. When I replied in the affirmative, she came forward and for the first time lifted her eyes to look at me. I could see the remorse as well as sincerity in her eyes. I could also see some pain there – that must be because of my part in her punishment.
"Sir, I want to apologize for my rude and completely uncalled for behavior with you yesterday. Please know that I'm really sorry for the way I talked to you and argued with you. I realize my mistake and that it is not only your right but also your duty to report everything to the council. Moreover, it's not my place to decide how you carry out your work. I want to assure you that it will not be repeated ever and that I'm ready to accept any further punishment as you see fit."
I was stunned at Bella's apology. I knew she would ask for my forgiveness sometime, but I had no idea that she will do it in front of the whole batch. I had thought that she will do it privately. But now that I think about it, it made sense. I felt a small elbow nudge from Peter, alerting me to stop staring at her and start speaking.
"Thank you for your apology Cadet Swan. Good to know that you understand and accept your mistake. And no further punishment is needed – you received adequate punishment yesterday. So now if we are done with the pleasantries, let's start the day." I replied as coldly as possible, though internally I just wanted to kiss her soundly.
I turned around towards Jasper and Peter and noticed that Jasper was talking to Peter quietly – most probably relaying the back story.
"All yours Peter." With that I started going back in; I was feeling a little light headed.
"Edward, just a minute." Peter indicated for me to stay back. "I understand from Jasper here that Cadet Swan may not have had sufficient nourishment yesterday. If you permit, I would like to suggest that she is allowed to have her breakfast ahead of time and then join us for the outdoor training. I don't think it is advisable for her to train without proper nourishment, she may injure herself. She can continue training through the regular breakfast break to make up for the lost time" he said in his normal voice so that all could hear.
And then he added quietly so that only I could hear – "also, it will not look nice if the chief instructor faints in the field even before the training starts for the day" and winked at me.
"Thanks buddy, I owe you one." I whispered to him. Loudly, I said – "It's your training session Peter, so the call is yours. I will be fine with whatever you decide." I shrugged for good measure.
"Ok, it's decided then. Ms. Swan, please go ahead and have your breakfast. Come back when you are done. Others, please proceed towards the training grounds and take your positions."
"Edward, just so we are clear" he called to me, "you don't owe me anything for this. Your girl is really special, not everyone has the courage and the inclination to apologize in front of their peer group, especially to their boyfriend. Now go and utilize the time alone with her well." He smiled and clapped me on my shoulder.
I returned the smile and jogged back to the mess. I could see Bella walking slowly ahead.
"Bella" I whispered reaching up to her. She stopped and looked up at me with sad eyes. "Would you like to have breakfast with me?" I smiled when her eyes lit up and she nodded. "Give me 5 mins and then come to the office" I said and quickly went ahead. On entering the kitchen of the mess, I found that Jasper had preceded me there and was ordering breakfast for two – making it look like he was getting it for both of us. On seeing me he said – "oh Edward, go ahead to the office. I will bring our breakfast in 5-10 mins."
Seeing no one else in the corridors, I quickly found Bella and took her to my office. After bolting the door, I just crushed her lips with mine. "Hey tiger….let me breathe" she giggled.
"Baby, you are amazing. Thank you for what you did out there."
"I still need to do one more thing" she signed "Edward, please forgive me".
"Baby, you have already apologized outside, you don't need to do it again"
"No. I apologized to my instructor outside for insulting him. Here I am apologizing to my boyfriend for not trusting him to do the right thing for my friend. Please, will you forgive me?"
"Of course, my darling" I sat on the floor, pulled her in my lap and kissed her forehead. We sat there for some time when I sensed that Bella was a little fidgety, as if she wanted to say something else.
"Love, what's the matter? Is there anything else that's troubling you?" I prodded.
"Edward," she turned to face me, "why did you not eat anything yesterday?" Distress was plainly visible in her eyes. I could see that even the thought was painful to her.
I smiled gently and asked her – "Do you really don't know the reason, love or do you just want me to confirm what you think is the reason?"
She lowered her eyes and started playing with her hands – "I think I know and just want to confirm. Though I don't know how will I bear the guilt if what I think is true."
I lifted her face and kissed her lips lightly. "Look in my eyes love and tell me what you think" I asked gently.
She hesitated for a second and then looked into my eyes – "I think it was part of my punishment – the most painful and unbearable part."
"And probably the most effective one as well" I chuckled in an attempt to lighten her mood. It worked partially because she gave me a half smile and nodded.
"You are right love, my not having any meals yesterday was indeed part of your punishment. Yesterday morning you were extremely overwhelmed and out of control of your emotions. I could see that you needed some time out. But you really need to learn to control your reaction to situations, irrespective of your frame of mind. I understand that last week was extremely stressful, but that's going to be a norm in military life, not an exception. You need to learn to manage stress. More importantly you need to recognize when you have reached your limit and need to lie low. Instead of me recognizing that you need time out, you should realize that yourself and take appropriate action without anyone pushing you to do that. What happened yesterday cannot be repeated love. Believe me, I still was lenient with you. If it had been anyone else, you would have been in lot more "physical" pain yesterday than you actually were."
"I thought as much. And I promise I will better manage my moods from now on. I really really promise. If I slip again, you have my permission to make it as painful as you can for me. But why did you send me food then? Don't you think it would have been more effective that way?"
"I will admit my weakness here, love. We both know what happens when you don't eat for long. I just could not bear the thought of you having stomach cramps the whole night and most of the day today, especially when I cannot be there to comfort you."
"And what about me? Do you think I can bear seeing you in this state? You were almost ready to collapse in the grounds. Do you think it is easy for me to see that?" she replied agitated.
"Of course it's not easy. And that's why it is your punishment. Punishments are not meant to be easy, my love." I added tenderly. I could see the fight going away from her. She started sobbing softly resting her head back on my chest. Just then there was a knock and Jasper walked in with two trays of breakfast.
"Sorry guys, took them some time to whip up something edible this early in the day" he explained placing the trays on the table. Bella was still sobbing. I shared a meaningful look with Jasper over her head.
"Come on Bella, no more mopping now. It's done, over. I'm sure both of you have come out stronger from this experience. Look at the plus side, you got to spend some time with your starving boyfriend and now you get to feed him too." He chuckled.
That did the trick – Bella was out of my lap and glaring at Jasper in a second – "That's not funny at all, Jasper. You wouldn't want me to tell Alice that you were making fun of me and my boyfriend here, would you?" she threatened him.
"Woa calm down tigress. No need to bring the pixie in this. I'm going, actually I'm already gone." With that Jasper all but ran out of the room.
We sat on the couch in front of the table. Bella still had some tears in her eyes. I wiped them away with my thumbs –"Hey, come on now. I'm hungry. Can I have my breakfast now or what?" I teased her.
"Oh I'm sorry. Will you let me feed you?" she asked.
"Of course, love. I will not have it any other way".
All too soon the breakfast was over and it was time for Bella to leave for the training.
"Edward, will you let Peter know that I'm very thankful for this time he gave us?"
"Sure love," I replied, "and you can do that yourself also when you meet him in the officer's mess next Sunday."
She raised her eyebrows – "Is that an invitation Mr. Cullen?"
"Yes, if you would like to. I want to introduce you to Peter and Charlotte properly, as my girlfriend. And maybe steal a dance or two."
"It's a date then tiger." She smiled and left leaving me with a full heart and a full stomach.
The rest of the week went by quickly. It was Sunday evening now and Jasper and I were headed to the officer's mess now. There was a spring in my steps, after all I was going to meet Bella there.
