Hey. I just re-read the last chapter and in my opinion it wasn't all that good. I'm sorry that it was so bad! This will be better! I promise!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do have some fan art pics of him that are absolutely kawaii!

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.

-Hermann Hesse

Chapter Seven

Hallucinations with Coffee

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Florida, 11:57 p.m.

Tori's room

She glared through the dark veil of her wet hair. Whoever this guy was he was going to get it. How dare he enter her house! How dare he be striding around her bedroom like he owned the place! And most of all, how dare he presume to think that she would allow him to harm her! She would stand up to him if it killed her! He had tried to hurt Paige, no doubt, and now he was going after Tori! "If you hurt her I will kill you…" she growled. Then for the first time the man turned to face. Her breath suddenly grew shallow as she looked into a pair of black eyes that she would have never thought to see.

"I am sorry! I did not mean to frighten you! Please forgive me, Tori-chan!"

"What… Are… you doing here…"

Pretend think logically! Pretend to think logically! Don't go all fan-girl-y, just focus!

Okay. I'm focused. Now then. Rock Lee is in my bedroom!

Indeed, there in the center of Tori's floor stood Lee, resplendent in all of his spandex clad glory.

Suddenly Lee's face flushed. "I'm sorry Tori-chan!!!" he yelled as he clapped his hands over his eyes. "I didn't realize that you will dressed like that!!! I will leave while you get dressed!!!"

"What!!!"

Lee started to run into the hallway with his hands still over his eyes. He ran straight into the doorframe.

"Would you mind telling me what is going on?" asked Tori furiously as she stepped in front of him.

Lee peeked at her face through his fingers. "I'm sorry, Tori-chan. I did not want to embarrass you by staring at your apparel," Tori glanced down at her pajamas and flushed. Her legs were exposed and the top button of her nightshirt had managed to pop open again. Well isn't this just a sublime first meeting? Well, at least he's being polite, in a strange sort of way. He can't have gotten too good of a look. "Well, I will just leave so that you can get dressed…. "

"Wait a moment!" yelled Tori. "You still haven't bothered to tell me what the hell is going on! You aren't leaving this room until I do!" He could be some sort of "Anime Slasher" serial killer and not really Lee. I can't let him out of my sight until I figure out who, or what he really is!

"But… But… Tori-chan…"

"No buts," said Tori firmly. Lee's face went an even darker hue of red beneath his fingers.

"Please Tori-chan, at least go in the closet…"

"Did you think I would go somewhere other than the closet?!?"

"Gomenasai, Tori-chan…"

Tori slammed the door of the small closet closed behind her, then sank to the floor. I am such an idiot. I just met him and I'm already cursing at him. Why did I act like that? Now he's going to hate me! He'll think I'm a total bitch! Why do I always act like that? What would Paige do? Paige would think that none of it was real and that she should go to bed earlier. Paige would think she was hallucinating and it was all in her head. What was it that Mrs. Lucas said about hallucinations and mirages? She said that a mirage is caused by the meeting of very hot air and very cold air. A mirage can be photographed because it is an optical illusion. But a hallucination cannot be photographed. So that's it! If he's real then I should be able to take a picture of him! Brilliant! Now where is my damn camera?

Thump. Bang. "Oww!"

Suddenly Tori jumped, fully clothed, out of the closet, camera in hand.

"Hey, Lee! Smi-"

But Lee had turned away from the closet and was examining her desk. Tori crept up behind him to see what he was looking at. Random junk was all over Tori's desk. Fan art, pictures from a recent class trip, earrings, a brick, chopsticks... Lee had just picked up her brick and was looking at it closely. Tori rose onto her toes to glance over his shoulder.

"Erm, Lee..."

Lee turned around to look at her, but misjudged the distance and accidentally bumped heads with her.

"Oww..."

"Forgive me for saying so, but you have a rather hard head, Tori-chan."

"Same to you..." Tori muttered. Great job. Now he thinks you're even more of a bitch... "Sorry..."

"Oh, it is all right. It was my fault for not being more careful!"

Wow! He's so nice! And even hotter in person! What are you talking about? How can a drawing be hot? And how can he be a person? We haven't established that he isn't a hallucination yet!

"Um, Tori-chan?"

Tori snapped to attention. "Yes?"

"Why do you have a brick on your desk?"

"Um, well, you see, I found him at school during PE. I carried him around with me during class for a few months until Olivia took him from me and threw him over a fence. Paige and I had to conduct a rescue mission after school to get him, and I decided to bring him home so that Olivia couldn't hurt him anymore." Tori began to blush. Now she was rambling and talking too fast.

"Him?"

"Yeah! His name is Brick Lee!" You shouldn't have said that. Why are you always such an idiot around boys? Now he knows you're obsessed with him! What are you talking about? Who says he's even real? And if he is a person what makes you think he is actually Lee?

"I see! How youthful!"

Okay... Bricks are youthful... That's something no one has ever said before. Usually it's "How dangerous!"

Lee had moved on. He set down the brick and picked up another object. This time he picked up a clay model that Tori had made. A clay model of himself.

"So Lee," said Tori as she picked up the camera again. "Could you-" As she turned to look at him she saw that he had found her doll. Damn. Now he's going to think that you're a crazy bitch.

"Lee?"

But he had already put down Clay Lee. "Come, Tori-chan. I need to talk to you."

This is pure insanity. There is an anime character in your house, when he plainly isn't supposed to be here, isn't even supposed to be alive in fact, and you are worried about what he thinks about you.

Have you ever thought of how insane you are? I mean, think of it, the Phantom made a doll out of Christine, too...

Tori was standing in the corner of the kitchen messing around with the coffee maker when Lee came in. She kept very deliberately quiet as he sat down by the counter. "Tori-chan, I really am very sorry."

Tori turned to face him. "Lee-kun, what is going on?"

Lee looked surprised. "You do not have to call me that. Just Lee would be fine."

"Then you don't have to call me Tori-chan."

"Yes I do! You are a woman! It is a matter of respect!"

"And you don't think that anyone should respect you?"

"No! It is just that you especially deserve respect!"

"Oh really. You still haven't answered my question. What is going on?"

Lee thought for a moment. "I am not sure exactly how this happened, but for some reason Orochimaru-sama has heard of your abilities."

"What abilities? How does anything in my life have anything to do with Orochimaru?"

"I am not sure. But for some reason, you and Paige-chan can do things that other people cannot do."

"Why?"

"Because you both have chakra."

"Chakra? No offense, but I've done some research about special abilities and from the look of things what Paige and I have is more along the lines of ESP in addition to mild schizophrenia. "

"But Tsunade-sama thinks differently. She has been doing some medical research with Paige-chan and she thinks that you definitely have chakra."

"Paige is there?"

"Yes. After she left here she and her family were waylaid by Kabuto-kun. Naruto-kun found her and brought her back to Konoha. She told Tsunade-sama that you also had abilities like hers. So Tsunade-sama sent my team to retrieve you before Orochimaru-sama did."

"So now what?"

"We are to go to Washington D.C. where a portal has been set up to take us back to Konoha since I can't use chakra to teleport back like Tenten-chan and Neji-kun have already done."

"Wait, Neji was here?"

"Yes he was."

"Was he the one I saw in that bush???"

"Yes, he was…" Lee was squirming uncomfortably.

"I will kill him!!! He scared me half to death!!!!"

"Tori-chan! Don't hurt him! You have not even met him yet!"

"I told you that you don't need to call me Tori-chan!"

Lee decided to try a new approach. " Tori-chan, did you know that in Japanese your name means bird? Surely a bird is worthy of respect…"

Tori smiled a little bit. "But Tori isn't my real name."

"It is not?"

"Nope!" said Tori, smiling impishly. "My real name is Victoria. In English Victoria means victory."

"Then you must be respected!"

"Well then, I must respect you too since in English the word "lee" means shelter or protection!"

"Victoria-chan! Please just call me Lee!"

"What do you mean Victoria-chan? Just call me Tori like everyone else does!"

They were still arguing in a friendly sort of way when the phone rang. Tori went to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hello, Sisiar-chan. It's me again."

Tori screamed and slammed down the phone.

"Lee! That was Orochimaru! We've got to get out of here!"

Yes!!!!! It took me the better part of a month, maybe even two months, but I finished the chapter! From here on out it should be much easier! Thank you to everyone for you support and patience! Thank you to all of my reviewers: Nemo 131, my newest reviewer (say hello to them!); TakeTenEyes, my dear onee-san and beta-ee; Cross 177, who is so supportive of dear Lee-kun; Troublesome Natalie, my dear buddy; rockleefan (I owe you so big! Thanks for your help!); PrettyKitty8, who is now officially a member of Fan Fiction; and of course, byakuhana, who didn't take the time to review the last chapter (ahem), but she still helped me with my writers block. Thank you all! Ha ha! Chapter seven is complete! Now I have to write chapter eight…