November 30

One month ago, I would have told you that there was no such thing as love at first sight. Two days ago, I would have told you that maybe it's possible, but not for me. Now, I wouldn't know what to tell you.

We've been at Ellen's for two days. In those two days, I've met half of Sam Winchester's family. I've also formed something of an unspoken relationship with him. We know it's there. And last night, I kissed him for the first time.

It wasn't entirely as romantic as one would think. It was strange in the beginning, but we got the hang of it. Charlie won't shut up about how cute we are together. I think she's even started annoying Dean, who adores the shit out of her.

Sammy is asleep next to me as I write this. Everyone knows we have a thing. I'm okay with that. I'm just glad that Sammy is mine.

December 4

Went back to the city late last night. I spent the night at the Winchesters house, so did Charlie. It started snowing, so after I went to work, Sam took me out to an ice skating rink. Im really good at ice skating, I learned, and Sam is really clumsy. I guess for a guy his height that's supposed to be expected

We went out for coffee afterwards, because it was Sams day off. He wanted to learn more about me so I told him what I thought was important. I felt bad because he told me more about his family then I could tell him. Even after all these years, I guess it still hurt.

He asked me to spend Christmas with him too, at Ellens house. He warned me there would be more people, but also promised I would definitely meet them before then. Of course I said yes.

December 9

I met Kevin and Chuck today. Sam and I made it official that we were dating, so there was no confusion. He told me how much he really loved this particular author and wanted a particular book, so I told him to take me to the book store when I got off. He tried to insist I didn't have to buy im anything so I told him that I wasn't buying him anything, I was gifting him something, like on Christmas.

That didn't make him feel better.

Kevin is Chucks adopted brother. They bicker a lot, but you can tell they care about eachother, kinda like Sam and Dean. And Sam was right about Kevin, he's super smart. I'm surprised he and Ash aren't best friends.

When I bought Sam the book he almost started crying, so I just hugged him and told him that it was fine, I care a lot about him and it was something small, the least I could do. He really appreciated it. I'm glad I made him happy.

December 16

Sam asked me to go Christmas shopping with him. I had enough money saved up over the years that I could buy everyone something nice, but Sam insisted that it wasn't necessary.

After work, he took me to the mall that's closer to the big city, a few minutes outside of the Historic district. I hadn't really got to know all of his family that well, but he helped me pick out a few things for the people who were going to be there.

I also got to meet Garth. He's a character, really. And pretty hilarious. I think we'll get along great.

December 19

My day has been shit. Fucking shit fuck I can't form sentences right now I'm so fucking pissed off.

Castiel came to see me today. I don't know how he knew where to find me, but he came into my place of work.

Castiel is my kid brother. One of the youngest, actually. Only 19. Of course, he's only a half-brother. But seriously, how did he find me?

He came to make amends and I couldn't help but think about how much he fucking grew up and I wanted to hug him because it wasn't his fault, and he told me he moved out when he turned 18 and wanted to find Lucifer and I because Dad was annoying the shit out of him and I just fucking couldn't

I may or may not have accidentally punched him in the face.

But I had to go see Sam afterwards. I couldn't tell him what happened, but I needed to take a breather.

December 22

I told Sam everything

December 23

Sam forced me to call Castiel. He didn't force me so much as bug me until I did, but still, same thing, right? I'm a little pissed off at him now, but whatever. Castiel forgave me for punching him, and accepted my (More like Sam's) invitation to Christmas.

I'm still really confused as to why Sam is doing all of this. He's known me a few months and is already inviting me to spend holidays with his family, and inviting my own family over even though he knows who we are. I'm grateful, don't get me wrong, but I just don't understand why hes so damn friendly.

At least with Dean and even Bobby and Garth sometimes, they get a little concerned and keep an eye on me and I'm glad because it makes me uncomfortable that they trust me so damn much, only because I'm worried about Sammy. What if he decides one day to trust the wrong person? I'm glad he has people looking out for him.

Castiel is coming over for dinner tomorrow night. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

December 24

I was not ready for that.

Everything was fine at first. Castiel and I say hey and hug and kind of catch up. I learn he's living alone and working from home and hardly goes outside (No wonder he is so damn pale), and he's super intelligent because I couldn't count the times that he and Ash got to talking and I couldn't understand a word they said.

Then he asks about my tattoos. Sam hasn't seen me with my shirt off yet, so he doesn't know I have six wings tattooed on my back. I got them when I was fourteen, before I left home. Lucifer and Mike, my two older brothers, had them too, and I think Raphael did at some point but he may have gotten them removed. It was our thing. I tried notto think about it much.

This only makes Sam get defensive and almost go off on Cas and of course here I am almost going off on him and Castiel get's super upset and Dean gets pissed off at Sam for making Castiel upset but I still don't understand why Dean was involved.

Jo and Charlie had to separate us, but later Sam and I apologized to Castiel.

Sam told me he was going to talk to Castiel. I was against it but he did it anyway.

I'm going to sleep, tomorrow is present day and I just want to be happy.

December 25

Today wasn't nearly as bad as last night.

It was so much better

Everyone loved their presents, and Sam somehow found the time to get Castiel something. Castiel acted so awkward, because he insisted he couldn't accept the present and tried to offer people jars of honey he bought online from a private honey farm.

I forgot just how odd he was.

We played board games before everyone went to sleep. Castiel had apparently never played before so it was slow going but also hilarious when he made mistakes and tried to logic his way out of Clue.

Theres a lake a few minutes away from the house. When the sun had set and everyone said their goodnights, Sammy asked me to join him, so I drove us there (I brought my car, thank god, because Dean would have killed me if I touched his)

We talked a little bit, about our families, ourselves, about stupid shit. It was nice.

Tonight was also the night that Sam told me he loved me.

I tried to make a joke, because I didn't know what to say. Sam said it again, and asked how I felt.

So I told him the truth. I told him I loved him too.

We did things I'm not exactly going to share with you, not because i'm not proud (I'm pretty damn proud) but because it's none of your business.