Chapter 7– Do you really want to live forever?

Forever young, I want to be forever young, forever young; do you really want to live forever?

Dylan

I sat down on the couch next to Iggy. He grinned and said "Hey, Dyl."

I grinned back and said, "How you do that is beyond my understanding, how do you know it's me?"

"Each person has a different footstep and a different smell." He replied matter of factly, though anyone could tell he was proud of how strong his other senses were. "Angel skips and scurries, Gazzy and Nudge stomp and you sort of.. shuffle."

I laughed as Nudge walked in muttering "I heard that."

She plunked down onto one of our numerous arm chairs. Jeb walked in, holding Angel's hand. Gazzy was not far behind.

They were just so cute, each one of them beautiful and perfect. Even Angel was stunningly beautiful.

Though no one I'd ever seen could compare to Max.

I looked around the room at everyone. My new family. We were the new flock weren't we?

Everyone knew that I didn't agree with Dr Gunther Hagen's views, and they knew I was in the same situation as them. I was a 'good guy', right? And yet I was still slightly surprised and pleased by how they all accepted me and trusted me so quickly. Well, nearly all.

Max still didn't seem to. For reasons unknown to me.

"Where's Max?" I asked. Iggy shrugged at the same time Angel said "In her room."

"Hey Jeb, can we all go flying for a bit, I want to practice." I asked

He nodded and told us to be back by seven, which gave us 45 minutes to fly around for a bit. I loved flying with the flock. It was when I felt most comfortable, most natural despite the fact I was still a pretty lousy flyer.

I walked, or shuffled according to Ig, to Max's room and knocked on the door. She opened the door and said "Oh. It's you. What do you want?"

She didn't sound unkind, just kind of confused.

I smiled and said "You wanna come flying with us?"

She hesitated and tucked a piece of her feathery hair behind her ear. "Umm… I think I'll pass for today, thanks." She studied me carefully for a moment, as she had been doing a lot recently. I guess she still hadn't forgotten about how I'd decided I didn't want to live anymore. I was about to say something when she gently shut the door. She shut me out.

She'd never turned down flying before. It felt like a slap in the face. Flying was something that the whole flock had to do together. Something I'd done with them all since I'd known them. Though now I thought about it, we weren't all here. Fang was still gone. But he was going to stay gone and Max needed to let him go.

I turned around as the smile vanished from my face. I walked to our veranda and took off after the others into the twilight sky.

I suddenly felt immeasurably sad and I turned to watch the flock fly, getting lost in the rhythm of flying. I watched how they turned and steered so effortlessly. I watched how their faces glowed as they soared through the empty skies and did what we were born to do.

Max, why are you missing this?

I understood fully why Fang had said he'd rather die before Max. A world without Max wouldn't be worth living in. I thought about life and death. Max had hated the thought of him dying. I hated the thought of Max dying. Max still loved Fang so much and that hurt with every breath, every moment I was alive. But the pain would be so much worse if I was dead – in a world where there was no Max. I wanted to live if Max lived, to die if she died – I wanted to go wherever she went.

My death means nothing. Living forever would mean nothing to me if she wasn't there with me.

While I was alive, I wanted her alive too. Without fang, Max seemed to be fading. She was still moving, breathing and thinking, but her life, her energy and light seemed to have been extinguished by Fang. She was dying inside.

My chest felt hollow as I visualized Max's face in my mind. The curve of her neck, the smooth skin of her cheek and the silvery sheen of her feathers in the morning sunlight. She was so stunningly beautiful and I knew that I loved her.

I knew I would never try and end my life – for I'd found something worth living for.

Max, beautiful Max.