CHAPTER VII
As they walked side by side through the heaving flea market, Mei side-glanced Kaoru and wondered if his smile was truly genuine. He seemed cheerful enough, studying a shelf of miniatures with a magnifying glass at one of the many stalls flogging hand-crafted ornaments, but there were times when he would noticeably retreat, sinking into himself and becoming so engrossed that she had to reiterate questions or squeeze his hand.
Whatever, thought Mei, leading Kaoru to the next stall once the miniatures had lost their novelty. It wasn't like I forced him to take me here. I would have been happy enough kicking Hikaru out of bed and giving him a piece of my mind! Mei looked down, calmly observing Kaoru's hand gripping hers. What's with that, anyway? Does he think I'm going to run away or something? She remembered how Kaoru had grabbed her by the hand and come up with some excuse about losing her. Presumably, he had done this to be cool and in control, yet why had Kaoru seemed… scared?
Nothing like his brother, that's for sure.
It had been a challenge for Mei, telling Hikaru and Kaoru apart. They were the most identical twins she had ever met. Not even their personal interests and food preferences gave them away; they seemed to like the same things and hate the same things. They even talk in unison, Mei recalled. They do that weird twin thing where they finish each other's sentences like some old married couple, but when they're by themselves, it's like seeing that grey is black and white. They become separate. They have these separate personalities.
Mei watched Kaoru from the corner of her eye: he was predictably in his own world, brushing at strands of cinnamon hair, oblivious to Mei's scrutiny. The concealer he used was so fine and expertly applied that no one but Mei could tell he had trouble sleeping. What did Kaoru have to think about? He was rich, quite clever, good-looking – hardly anything in the way of a bright and successful future – yet he strode beside her quietly, weighed down somehow and worrying like a normal person.
Rich people, I'll never get them.
They passed a shop window, their reflections crystal sharp in the polished glass.
Mei stopped, returning to the image without warning. Ignoring Kaoru's puzzlement, she scrutinised the tanned, blonde-haired girl standing next to him, dressed in school uniform, her hand holding his. So this is what we look like to everyone else. Mei peered long and she peered hard. Gradually, a volcano erupted somewhere on her face.
No way, she thought. We make a good–
'It's only a thousand yen,' said Kaoru, referring to the merchandise displayed in the window, assuming that the prices had bothered her.
Mei turned to him with complete apathy. Or maybe not. 'Want to go home?'
Kaoru paused. 'Is this a trick question?'
'No…'
With startling speed, Kaoru flicked out his cell-phone and summoned the chauffeur, confirming the exact coordinates of his and Mei's present location.
'Hey! At least disguise your desperation!'
'Will you be staying for dinner?' asked Kaoru, hand on phone.
'I promised Haruhi I'd eat at the apartment.'
'Oh,' said Kaoru, ending the call. 'Can I join you?'
'I guess so, but we're only having sushi from the convenience store, if that's alright.'
Kaoru smiled. 'That's fine with me.'
By the time they reached Haruhi's apartment, it was almost dark and the first streetlamps were blinking. Hardly anyone was on the street, and those who were seemed more concerned with getting home, not gawping at a limo.
Mei slumped in her seat with gratitude. What a relief! That was the last thing she needed right now. After spending the day browsing boutiques and local flea markets, Mei was tired and wanted to rest.
'Is it meant to be this dark?' said Kaoru, opening the door and helping her out of the limo.
'What do you mean?' said Mei. She followed Kaoru's stare, which was studying the apartment block where Haruhi lived. At first, she assumed that Kaoru was comparing rich people and commoner standards again, a game he and his friends intermittently practised whenever differences reared their confusing heads, but there was something odd about the glimmers of light and wild shadows crossing the apartment windows. 'I think it's a power cut,' Mei concluded.
'Power… cut…?' echoed Kaoru. 'Did someone forget to pay?'
'I give up,' sighed Mei. 'Let's find Haruhi.'
They made their way cautiously towards the apartment, Kaoru relying on Mei's knowledge of the grounds to navigate through the increasing darkness. Fortunately, Haruhi's apartment was on the first floor and the occupants had considerately placed jars containing tea lights along the metallic gangway. Their footsteps rattled the flames, snuffing some of them out.
'Great,' muttered Mei, taking one of the jars still burning strongly. 'We're almost there.' As they resumed walking, Mei shone the jar in Kaoru's direction. 'Come on, out with it.'
'Out with what?'
'With whatever's bugging you.'
Kaoru smiled, turning his head to the darkening sky. To Mei's surprise, the candlelight had made him more handsome, drawing her gaze to every visible contour. In turning his head, she could see the skin of his throat, smooth and flawless, exposed to the night and its warm, gentle air. The candle flickered and his amber eyes danced with the flames, seemingly amused, much more alive.
He asked her, 'If Hikaru was here right now, would you be able to tell the difference? Would it matter to you that it's me and not Hikaru you're holding hands with?'
Mei blushed; his face, so perfect in the candlelight, made it difficult to answer. 'Wh-why do you want to know?'
Again, Kaoru smiled. 'Because I'm trying to be liked,' he said, softly. 'I'm trying to be myself. The way you treat my brother and the way you treat me is completely different. Why is that? Is that because I've failed?'
Mei opened her mouth, about to respond, yet something got in the way, taking her feet from under her. She was falling fast – falling sideways – clutching at thin air then hitting the floor, the sound of a jar shattering in the darkness. She lay on her back, winded, feeling the pain creeping in. The candle was dead, snuffed by the impact. She started to rise, brushing off fragments of glass which had stuck to her school uniform, only to notice Kaoru leaning stiffly over her.
'Kaoru?' said Mei. In his hand was her hand, the one holding him at the time of her fall and responsible for dragging him down on top of her. She could see that he had tried to soften the blow, his left elbow bleeding where it had scrapped against the gangway.
Immediately, Mei was upright, searching her school bag. Amongst her make-up and textbooks, she found a packet of tissues and pressed the whole lot over Kaoru's wound.
'Ow!' cried Kaoru; then showed Mei his other arm. 'This requires more attention, I think.'
Mei nearly fainted. 'As soon as we get inside, we have to call you an ambulance!'
A door swung open beside them, revealing a perturbed-looking Haruhi and Hikaru.
'Kaoru, that's no way to treat a lady,' said Hikaru, aware of the pair's relative positions.
Silence descended.
'Lady?' said Kaoru. 'Who's the lady?'
'Get off me already!' cried Mei, struggling.
'Honestly,' said Haruhi, 'what have you two been up to?'
Kaoru showed his arm. 'Can I have a bandage?'
'Woah! That's slightly concerning. We need the First Aid kit. Mei, could you get me some towels?'
'Sure,' said Mei, finally standing. She watched as Hikaru knelt in front of his twin, asking him how the incident had happened as he used Mei's tissues to staunch the blood. Kaoru endured Hikaru's ministrations, hissing when his brother pressed too hard. Kaoru did not look at her. He seemed distant from her, as if there was only him and Hikaru now, as if Mei was invisible and had ceased to exist.
Hurt, Mei followed Haruhi into the apartment to fetch the towels. As she selected some towels from the wardrobe, the others converged in the living room, clearing the table and sifting through the contents of Haruhi's First Aid kit.
'They're just scratches,' she heard Kaoru insisting through the paper partition.
'It's better to be safe than sorry,' Hikaru replied. 'Now let me finish tying this!'
'Seriously,' protested Kaoru, 'I prefer to be sorry!'
And Mei could see why as she stepped into the living room.
'Are you cutting his arm off?' she inquired, eyeing the tourniquet made from part of the tablecloth and the way Hikaru was holding his brother down.
'Nope,' said Haruhi, brandishing a pair of tweezers. 'Now hold still, Kaoru.'
'Wait! Don't I get a painkiller first?'
'This isn't a hospital, I'm afraid.'
Mei placed the towels on the table. 'You'll be okay,' she said, smiling at Kaoru.
Kaoru smiled back, then winced as Haruhi extracted the first of many glass fragments and dropped it into a bowl next to Hikaru, who was visibly tense. He was staring at Mei throughout the process, making her feel incredibly uncomfortable. Soon, she excused herself from the table, adamant that the glass still on the gangway needed to be swept. She took a dustpan and brush from the closet and slipped on her shoes.
This isn't my fault, thought Mei. That fall was an accident.
She crouched on the floor, guiding the glass into her dustpan as quietly as she could. Most of the glass had dropped through the gaps, lost to the undergrowth flourishing beneath, likely to remain undiscovered for months. With them fell some of Mei's tears, dropping soundlessly as she hoped that Kaoru would forgive her.
