So sorry, it's been so long. As always I am thankful for the support and I'm glad to see this one is finally gaining some.


Don't Fry Wolf!;
Chapter Seven/ 'Witches, Potions, and Charms'
Rated; M/ L, (scary theme, magic stuffs, Bender's behavior)

Opening Sequence: Brought to you by Werewolf Delights; Human, the other white meat.

Fry gaped at Marie, he looked uneasy. "Olde Salem 13?" He choked out.

Leela noticed Fry's scared stature, satisfied at least that Fry wasn't too abnormal. "Marie, I don't mean to be a prude, but we had a bad experience there."

"You've been?" Marie asked.

"Crazy witch hunters tried to hang me." Fry blurted out.

"Witch hunters? I don't quiet understand.." Marie gazed between Leela and Fry.

"Yes, the Puritans, they formed the planet in the 26 hundreds as a tribute to their ancestors, then went crazy and started killing visitors for crowd displays as witches." Leela looked at her as if she was a crack-pot.

Marie's lips quirked in understanding. "Oh, no no. You are thinking of Olde Salem 12." She corrected.

"There's a difference?" Fry nearly squeaked.

"But of course, my dear delivery boy. Olde Salem 13 is a few light years away from Olde Salem 12." Marie said, like it was common knowledge.

"That's not much of a difference." Amy snorted.

Marie then got serious. "Nonsense. Olde Salem 13 is inhabited by real-life, flesh-and-blood witches."

"That.. doesn't make it any better." Fry whimpered.

"Witches? Marie, come on. There are no such things as witches." Leela stated, obviously not paying attention.

"Captain Leela, I read that up until yesterday you didn't believe in werewolves either. Now you are on a quest to save your friend from spending his remaining days as a flesh-craving lunatic monster, no? So, you can either relinquish your so called 'that's impossible' behavior and give in to the fact that some things are real. Or you can sit here alone and deny the truth and let your friend feast forever on the souls of others. You're a smart woman, Ms. Turanga, you make the call." Marie crossed her arms and gave a challenging stare to the cyclops.

"She didn't believe in Bigfoot or the mermaids either." Fry rolled his eyes.

Leela sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry. I guess it's just some things seem so fantasy inspired that it's hard to accept fiction as fact."

"That a girl. Now we must make haste, where is your robot friend, will he be making the journey with us?" Marie noted to herself that the main three- the robot, the cyclops, and the red head- were always together.

"I'll go check." Amy pepped up helpfully.

"Thank you, Amy." Leela nodded as the intern left the room to go find Bender.

-xx-

"Bender?" Amy called as she entered the Employee Lounge, she found him sitting on the couch. He was slouched over with his head in his hands. She heard a light whimpered sound coming from him. "Bender, it's okay." She said and sat down beside him, softly placing her hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's not, just leave me alone." He sniffled in habit, it was apparent he had been crying, if only softly.

"Oh, is it Fry?" Amy nearly winced at the question. No spluh, it was Fry.

"Uh-huh, he just don't look at me the way he does at Leela." Maybe not lust, but not love or affection or.. need.

"Well, spluh.." Amy noticed Bender shooting her a glare. "I mean, Leela will always be special to him in a way. But that doesn't mean you're not."

"I'm just a robot, Suzie was right. I can't give him what he needs." Bender sighed. "What makes it worse is now I know that there's something I'm not great at."

Amy scoffed. "Suzie, the last time anyone checked, was reduced to waste. She doesn't hold a laser to you now."

"But she did." Bender huffed stubbornly.

"No, I don't think she did. I.. Fry is going through a lot. You remember how scared you were when you turned into that werecar?" Amy asked and Bender nodded. "Well, Fry's super scared now. He's not a machine, like you."

"Wong, I know we don't always like each other, and sometimes, I wanna secretly kill you, but thanks. And I'll drop that whole revenge for deleting my files crap." Bender didn't realize the moment of heartbreak had made him sink that low, but it was okay.. for now.

"That's, uh, sweet of you, Bender." She hugged the robot, who reached up on instinct and stole her earrings. Bender chuckled to himself as the oblivious Martian got up and started to leave. "Oh, Bender?"

"Uh, yeah..?" Bender tried not to sound suspicious.

"We're leaving for a planet inhabited by witches, you comin'?" Amy asked.

"What's in it for me, Bender?" He rubbed his fingers on his chin, like he was thinking.

Amy shrugged. "Well, it'd give you a chance to help out Fry and show him you care about him and stuff."

"Well, in that case, no." Bender replied, crossing his arms.

Amy spoke some Cantonese in a low tone that made it clear she wasn't in the mood. "Bender, you need to get over it. Fry still needs you, he needs all of us. If he doesn't get help now, we're werewolf food."

"So? He can't kill a robot as easy." Bender retrieved a beer out of his chest and opened it, letting it fizz up out of the top before taking a drink.

"I doubt that." Amy glared at him with her hands on her hips.

Bender looked at her eyes narrowed, pointing as he held the beer. "Is that a threat?"

Amy sighed and looked around. "Well, you know, there might be some potions and junk you could steal and sell to those fanatics in the Harry Potter religion."

Bender perked up. "In that case, I'll be there."

-xx-

(-On the ship-)

Leela was at the controls as always. Fry was happy, but nervous at his "co-pilot" position. Bender had his feet up, cigar in his hand, weighing his options about Fry to himself. Amy was busy in the engine room, checking something. Marie sat on the couch. She eyed Bender suspiciously.

"Why in all the heavens would they need a bending unit to accompany them on deliveries?" She asked out loud.

Bender turned to her, his glare a little too cold. "Bite my shiny metal ass."

Amy had walked in when Marie started talking and heard the inquiry. "It's okay, Marie. Bender has lots of uses. Isn't that right, Fry?" She smiled.

"Oh, Bender? Sure does." Fry answered absentmindedly. Bender had been looking hopeful, but just bowed his upper body in a slump. Marie took note of this.

"So, Fry, are we seeing anyone special?" She asked.

"Marie? Is this appropriate banter for werewolf hunters?" Leela asked trying to defer the conversation.

"I just want to know my client better. Besides I'm not hurting anyone. Just small talk." She studied the robot, who was twisting at his cigar, nervously. "Well, Mr. Fry, what is it?" Marie persisted.

Fry flushed and turned to face her. "Ms. Chastel-" He began.

Marie folded her hands in her lap. "Call me Marie."

"Marie, my girlfriend was ripped apart, by my own hands, is that enough for you?" Fry said seriously, and Marie noticed the robot drop further into despair.

"Are we sure, Mr. Fry..?" Marie insisted.

"Call me Fry." He crossed his arms.

"Are we sure, Fry? There is no one else?" She raised an eye to him. Fry deliberately looked in the way of Bender and sighed rather sadly.

"No." He said softly. Bender stood up and left the room.

Marie snorted. "I think you're a damn liar."

"What the hell do you mean?" Fry asked.

"You and the automaton." Marie nodded toward where Bender had went.

"What about us?" Fry folded his arms.

"Us?" Marie grinned wickedly.

"Yeah, us?" Fry raised an eye to the huntress.

"So it's true, the two of you are lovers?" Marie picked at it as if it were a bloody scab.

"We, uh.. we were." Fry gazed down sullenly. He wasn't even sure why it was 'were' now.

"Good, Fry. I want to help you badly, but I hate damn liars, so we need to be straight with one another from this point on. Do I make myself clear?" She warned.

"Yes." Fry whispered.

"What was that?" Marie's lips quirked.

"Yes!" Fry shouted, looking up, his eyes red with the beginnings of his anger.

"Very good, that will be all." Marie got up and went to prepare herself a martini. The rest of the crew, sans a missing Bender, decided it was best to keep out of it, hoping Marie knew what she was doing. Leela however made a mental note to ask her what she was doing later.

-xx-

(-Olde Salem 13-)

The ship landed safely for once and the crew exited. Leela, Marie, Fry, Amy, and a reluctant Bender- who had his arms crossed and was mumbling death threats under his breath. He didn't want to even go on the trip in the first place for obvious reasons.

"So where is this friend of yours?" Leela wondered as they traveled through the town.

"Not too much further. She'll be able to give you something to aid you in the suppression of the werewolf threshold." Marie assured. Fry gave her a dirty look, still not pleased with their earlier conversation.

"Bender, why don't you offer some kind of-" Amy's whisper to the robot was cut short.

"Can it, Wong." Bender snapped.

"Bender, are you gonna just give up like that?" She asked in a hush so no one else would hear. Fry heard whispering when he didn't focus. "I mean you're not even gonna say anything? You need to tell him." Amy continued.

'Tell me what?' Fry pondered to himself.

"Okay, we are here." Marie announced, upon coming to a little old old timey looking shop. The Witches Brew; celebrating witch myths and stereotypes since 2699.

The crew entered the shop behind Marie and stopped when they saw the perfect stereotype of a wicked witch. She wore a long tattered black dress, with purple and black striped stockings. Her complexion was green and her eyes brown, her wrinkled face was accented with a black mole beside her pointed nose. She, of course, wore a black pointed witchy hat and was sweeping with a witchy broom. A black cat leaped off a stool, hissed at them, then darted off as they entered. Stereotype didn't even cut it, more like copyright.

"Ah, Marie, to what displeasure do I owe this occasion, deary?" The witch added a Wizard of Oz styled cackle to the end.

"My dear, dear Edna. How long has it been?" Marie greeted and they embraced.

"Edna?" Fry, Leela, and Bender simultaneously whispered. A version of a 'classic' witch named Edna.

Edna smiled. "It's been too long, so how has werewolf wrangling been treating you on that dreadful planet?"

Marie returned the smile. "Business is booming, Edna, we must catch up sometime."

Edna's smile faded as a whiff of something tickled her nose. "Wait, I smell the blood of a rogue wolf. Now, what have you brought me, Marie?" The witch asked. She sniffed at Fry. The delivery boy backed up to the wall in fear.

"That's why I'm here, Edna. My friend, Fry, has had the dreadful curse bestowed upon him. It was accidental, brought on by the werewolf clan of Planet de Paris." Marie explained.

"I see, I see. Too bad I can't help him." The witch cackled.

"But, please, you have to do something. Fry can't stay this way." Leela pleaded. It resulted in a "yeah" from both Amy and Fry.

Edna rolled her eyes wearily and went back to grounding up something in a small black pot as she spoke. "There is one thing I have."

"Is it a kind of potion?" Amy asked.

"No."

"A spell?" Fry asked, raising his hand.

"No, now let me finish." Edna demanded, obviously tired of the annoyance.

"Finally, someone sees how I feel." Leela snorted.

"You put up with these idiots? Everyday?" The witch asked.

"Yep." Leela folded her arms.

"Oh, you poor, poor deary." Edna turned to Marie and whispered, "Remind me to give that woman some of my special tonic." And Marie nodded.

"Hey, witchy, what does Rosewart do?" Bender asked somewhere behind Edna.

"Tell your robot to stop touching my things or I'll have him bronzed." She replied without turning around.

"But, I'm way back here, how did you see me?" Bender scratched his metal head.

"Is it magic?" Fry raised his hand again, Leela rolled her eye and gently pushed it back down.

"No, he's on camera." The old woman pointed a bony green finger up to the floating security camera, and the crew looked over to some television screens which held images of the room they were in, the bathroom, the backrooms, and the back alley. The camera zeroed in on Bender, who had his door open and was holding a potion he was about to toss inside.

"I was just.." Bender closed his door, cleared his throat, and set the potion on the shelf. "What? I was just checking the label with my programming. Sheesh."

"And put back my love potion." Edna crossed her arms and glared at the robot.

"Awe." Bender groaned. He opened back the door and put the potion back on the shelf.

Amy had noticed the uneasy look on Fry's face. "Bender, why do you need a love potion?"

"None of your business, Wong... I mean.. uh.." The robot stammered. "I was planning on opening back up my dating service for Valentine's again. This time it was sure not to fail." Bender lied.

Fry crossed his arms, huffed, and turned away from Bender's line of view. Bender saw this and slouched slightly.

"Well, as much as I would like to not know what this nonsense is about, I need to get back to my ingredients." Edna threw some herbs or whatever into the pot. "A touch of bat brains, lizard tongue, and troll wart, mixed with powdered sugar and a hint of newt." She giggled, stirring.

"What kind of hair-brained spell are you casting?" Leela braved asking.

Edna snorted. "Spell? This is no spell. I'm making Fruitcake for the annual Olde Salem 13 bake off."

"Eww, gross." Amy wrinkled her nose.

"Edna, Fry needs some of that Lycanthropayne. You know, the werewolf threshold suppressant?" Marie asked.

Edna shook her head. "Sorry, deary. But those damn lupines from that dreadful Planet de Paris dropped by while I was visiting my sister, they cleaned me out of it. I won't be able to make another batch till I get my wolfbane."

"Why would they need that much Lycanthropayne?" Marie pondered.

Fry was beginning to get frustrated. "What the hell is Lycanthro-whatever."

"It is a drug that Edna and I cooked up. It combines the key ingredients for suppressing the werewolf disease. It was invented after I watched this werewolf movie from the 1990's. In the movie they created a drug that was supposed to keep a werewolf under the threshold, but it failed and immediately turned the person with the lycantropic disease into a werewolf.. Of course this drug falls into the wrong hands.." Marie trailed off.

"Naturally. When will they learn?" Fry muttered.

"But, that's not the point. We found a way to make the drug work. If I could get my hands on some, then we could at the very least keep you from changing into a monster every full moon. It would not cure you, just act like how a diabetic takes insulin." Marie finished.

"And the werewolf clan took it?" Leela tried to follow.

"Oh, no. This is very bad." Marie started pacing, holding her head in her hands.

"What's bad, Frenchie?" Bender snapped up.

"If they have it, they could figure out how to reverse it so they could transform any night of the month instead of just on the full moon. Villagers will not be prepared, people will be killed." Marie explained anxiously.

"They're not killing anyone now?" Fry asked.

"Only every other full moon, someone will be stupid enough to travel out into the woods or to that forsaken tavern. That's the worst part of the whole planet, infested with rogues and murderers and monsters." Marie sighed. "But the werewolf clan stays out of the villages, the towns or cities. They know we watch, we hunt. The villagers lock themselves in on the full moon, arm themselves with silver. But if they don't suspect it, they won't be ready."

"Sounds like you run a tight ship?" Leela smirked, impressed.

Marie nodded. "Very tight indeed."

"Now now, Marie. Don't you fret. You need to get word back to your crew before sundown tonight, tell them they stole the suppressant. Meanwhile, I have something for you, Mr. Fry wolf." Edna walked over to a drawer and pulled out a pouch on a leather necklace. She walked over to the unnerved delivery boy and put in over his head.

"Cool, what is it?" Fry held it up, examining it closely.

"It's a special mix of ingredients that will keep you from transforming. But! Only if you don't take it off, especially on the full moon." Edna warned.
"So as long as I'm wearing this, I won't turn into a beast?" Fry looked concerned and unsure.

"Right. But it must be worn against your skin." Edna informed.

"Got'cha." Fry tucked it under his t-shirt, then started to rub at the area. "Uh, is it supposed to burn?"

"Only for a little while. Until you adjust. Stop scratching it, the stinging means it's working." Edna scolded.

"What about the wolfbane?" Marie asked.

Edna narrowed her eyes. "I can't get it."

"Why not?" Leela asked.

"It's on Olde Salem 12." Edna replied.

"So?" Fry twitched, trying not to scratch.

"I'll be killed on site. I am, however, a real witch." She cackled.

"Isn't there any on Planet de Paris?" Leela asked.

The witch nodded. "Yes, there is, deary."

"Good, we leave right now." Leela said.

"What?" Fry, Bender, Marie, and Amy all uttered at the same time.

"I want Fry back to normal. I don't like having my life and well-being threatened by one of my closest friends. Having my life and well-being threatened by Bender alone is enough. Now, let's go." Leela commanded.

-xx-

The crew said their goodbyes to Edna, the odd witch of the western galaxy, and boarded the ship. Fry, Amy, and Bender- mumbling death threats again under his breath- entered the ship.

Leela pulled Marie aside. "Why were you interrogating Fry like that before we landed?"

Marie shrugged. "I was testing his temper, just to know what I was dealing with."

"Uh-huh?" Leela put her hands on her hips and stared at Marie with her eye narrowed.

Marie smiled a bit. "And, I was testing his loyalty to his friend. Look, I've been assigned to Fry since you left the planet. Following him, watching him. I have never seen any two people, robots, or any other creatures, who were as close as he and the automaton. It's just awful that it had to end this way."

"Well, we might be able to salvage their friendship at least, if we can cure Fry." Leela gazed up to the ship.

Marie didn't understand. "Cure him? But I already told you-"

"I know what you told me, Marie." She took a determined breath. "But I intend on finding the werewolf who bit him. I'll rip his heart out and feed it to Fry myself to save him."

The huntress was in awe. "I've never seen such conviction of a woman before. We could use you on Planet de-"
"I'm flattered, but my job is saving these idiots from one disaster at a time. Now, let's board before they think someone turned us into toads." Leela commanded and boarded her ship.

Marie smiled, sure they run a tight ship on her stationed planet, but there was no such thing as this kind of closeness. It didn't have a family vibe, just militant and business. She shook off the warm feeling and entered the P.E. ship.

-xx-

Leela was at the wheel, Bender was at his post whistling, Amy and Marie were talking about the death of Paris Milton, Fry was in his cabin. Leela glanced over at Bender who had got out a photo of himself and Fry, Zoidberg had ruined the shot by waving in the background. The robot sighed sadly and shoved the photo back inside his chest cavity.

"Marie? The ship's autopilot has a set course for Planet de Paris, watch it for me, I'll be right back." Leela got up and exited as Marie nodded. Bender followed her with his eyes. He knew she was going to talk to Fry. He feared their conversation. All his visions had bad thoughts of Leela throwing Fry up against the wall and having her way with him. Bender put his head in his hands.

-xx-

Leela found Fry sitting on his hammock. "Hey, Fry.."

"Hey, Leela." Fry said morosely, not looking up at her as she entered but instead looking down at his shoes.

"What's wrong, Fry?" She asked.

"Nuttin', I.." He sighed, glancing back up at Leela. "I've screwed up worser than I ever have before. I took a life, I cheated on Bender. I.. I've become a monster."

"Fry, you did all that because you were under powers beyond your control. I know that you would never hurt anyone, you're not that type of person. It wasn't you who killed Suzie, it was something evil. And you're not evil." Leela reassured.

"I don't know what to do, Leela." He gave a dry humorless laugh. "Bender will never forgive me for Suzie, or for blatantly admitting to still loving you."

Leela stayed quiet a moment. "Fry, it's alright that you still love me. I realize you probably always will, Bender does too. But, there is no me and you. There never will be. I love you as my closest friend, nothing more. You have a good thing going with Bender, strange, but good."

Fry looked up at her pitifully. "You're right, Leela. I miss him, I just.."

"If it's about cheating on him with Suzie.. I'm sure he understands that it was the werewolf in you, not.. you-you. He'll get over it if you behave yourself. Besides, Bender is no saint." Leela smirked.

"I just wish he'd stop with acting like.." Fry huffed and took a deep breath. "Like with the love potion. He could have just said he wanted it for me. But what does he do? Lie." Fry threw his hands up, frustrated.

"I'm sure Bender didn't want to expose his deepest feelings to a dime-store witch." Leela smiled thoughtfully.

"It's not just that." Fry said smally.

The cyclops put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, he's come a long way with telling you what he's feeling."

Fry's lips twitched. "I know. Thanks, Leela. And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting."

She patted his shoulder and withdrew her hand. "I understand. But you have to let me go. We'll never be able to make it work."

"I know, I checked the What If Machine." Fry blushed.

"Really, what happened?" Leela asked curiously.

"You left me for some Puerto Rican sun-god, named Jose. And I ended up with Bender." Fry shrugged. "But that contraption doesn't really offer anything solid."

"Well, you never know.." Leela said softly to herself.

Fry quirked an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing, Fry." Leela smiled and ruffled his hair before she left.


Some of the ideas were took from An American Werewolf in Paris. It was the movie Marie spoke of. In the movie they had this drug that was supposed to suppress the stages of the werewolf threshold, or cycle, as it related to the full moon, or something like that. But the drug failed and the girl instantly turned into a werewolf and butchered her folks. Yes, the bad guys/wolves, get the drug and use it to turn any night of the month into monstrous murderers. I sorta did some reversing of my own. I can't remember if the drug had a name in the movie, I named it Lycanthropayne. 'Lycanthropy' minus 'Y' plus 'ayne'. The pouch given to Fry by Edna was from the movie Wolf. I haven't seen that movie in a while, but I remember a necklace given to Jack's character to stop him from transforming. My witch Edna; not the same Edna from 'Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love.' I wasn't paying attention when I named her. She's a stereotype of a classic Halloween witch.