Chapter Seven—Rainbow Snow

Magnus slept late into the morning, his body recovering from whatever mental ordeal he'd just been through. Alec slept beside him, not having to go to work today due to his company thinking he was tired from the trip. They slept tangled in each other, Magnus using Alec's chest as a pillow, both of them covered in dry sweat and, in Magnus's case, tears.

It was almost ten in the morning when Magnus stirred, his body reluctant to move at all. He felt sore all over, and he looked down sleepily to find Alec still snoozing on, oblivious to everything. Magnus yawned and rolled off of him, resting in the pillows. His mind sluggishly replaying everything that had happened last night; the club, the stranger named Will, the sickening realization to what he was doing, running home, and then Alec. Everything afterwards was all Alec; Alec holding him, kissing him, carrying him into the bedroom, and then Alec making everything better. Alec's touch washing away the stranger's, his lips kissing away the foreign flavor, and finally him taking Magnus, making him forget everything except one person.

Magnus turned his head to look at him, feeling his chest ache. It felt wrong now, to be using Alec like this. Alec deserved someone better, someone who wasn't broken and screwed up. Literally. Magnus sighed and reached out; brushing his fingers gently over Alec's sleeping face, tracing his nose and lips. He was so beautiful when he slept.

As if sensing something, Alec stirred and mumbled in his sleep, sighing as he slowly began to wake. First his nose scrunched up, and then his eyebrows, and finally his sleepy blue eyes opened, their perfect color striking Magnus like a mental blow.

"Morning." Magnus murmured, wondering what Alec was going to say about last night.

"Mornin'…" Alec mumbled, and then rolled over, burying his head in Magnus's pillow. He sighed happily and started to go back to sleep.

Magnus smiled and rolled onto his side, his nose being tickled by Alec's black hair, "Hey sleeping beauty, time to get up. It's past ten."

"…sleep…"

"Fine, five more minutes." Magnus allowed, and then felt his chest constrict when Alec smiled groggily at him before closing his eyes and sinking back to sleep. He let him sleep for half an hour longer, amusing himself by playing with his hair, and then slowly ran his palm up Alec's bare back, rubbing his shoulders, "Time to get up, we can't leave Chairman all alone."

"M'kay." Alec sighed, rolling onto his side, seemingly unsurprised by how close Magnus was. He yawned and sat up, stretching his arms above his head.

"Alexander!"

"What?" Alec looked down at Magnus, his face confused, "What's wrong?"

"I hurt you…"

They both looked down at four long scratches on either side of Alec's body, right over his ribs. They were defiantly deeper than normal scratches, and two or three of them had even bled a bit. But now they were pink and healing, looking like a rather large cat had gotten to Alec.

"Doesn't hurt." Alec said, and then spotted Magnus's horrified look. "Magnus, look at me."

Exotic eyes flickered up, filled with guilt.

"Did you ever once hear me complain?" Alec asked, raising an eyebrow.

Magnus blinked, and then sat up, tracing his finger tips lightly down one of the scratches, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Alec said shortly.

"Alec…listen I think we have to talk." Magnus replied quietly, his chest aching again. He noticed Alec's expression and smiled thinly, "It's not about the scratches."

"Ok, let me get some clothes on." Alec got out of bed, yawning loudly as he went in search of something to wear. "You too, Magnus. Clothing isn't optional."

Magnus felt a real smile tug at his lips and he climbed out of bed, enjoying the soreness that ran up his lower back. He found a shirt, probably Alec's, and then somehow also found his pants from the night before. The top button had been ripped off, most likely in the haste to remove them, but Magnus pulled them on and grinned to himself. Maybe he could start a new fashion. He walked out into the living room and lowered himself onto the couch, getting comfortable as he waited for Alec. He didn't have to wait long, and soon Alec was sitting next to him.

"So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah." Magnus stared at his hands, "I don't think this is working out."

Shock flashed across Alec's face, followed by confusion, "What are you talking about? Magnus, you can't give up now! You're doing so well!"

"That's not it."

"Then what…did I hurt you last night?" Alec asked, his voice dropping.

"No, no nothing like that." Magnus looked up, feeling horrible, "Alec, I feel like shit. I keep using you for my own selfish reasons, not caring about how you feel about it. I know you wanted to help me, but isn't this a bit much? I feel like…I'm taking advantage of you."

Alec stared. That was all he could do. That was the precise argument he'd been having with himself, wondering if he'd been using Magnus's problem for his own desire, his own addiction, "Magnus…"

"You don't have to do it anymore." Magnus sat up, his eyes sad, "I'm sorry I did that to you. It's not fair to you at all. I'm a horrible friend."

"Magnus! Shut up and let me speak!" Alec cried, looking frustrated, "I did this, all of this because…" He felt Magnus's eyes on him and suddenly he was ashamed. He felt dirty and hurt and evil. "I'm a disgusting person."

"What?" Magnus looked shocked, "Alec don't say that—"

"I am!" Alec snapped, startling Magnus into silence, "You didn't force me to do anything. I did this because I wanted to. I did this. I used you, Magnus! Not the other way around! Don't feel bad about this! Don't you dare! I couldn't handle it if you did…" Alec felt horrible as pieces of his lie slid into the viewing light, "I have an addiction too, you know."

That snapped Magnus out of his stupor, "What? Alec why didn't you say anyt—?"

"Because it's you!" Alec cried, "You're my addiction! You have been since middle school! And now, when you needed help, I…I…" His voice choked and he realized what a horrible thing he'd done, "I twisted it to my own benefit. I'm a monster…"

"…I don't understand." Magnus said slowly, "How did you use me? I was the one who used you, well, except for last night."

Alec looked up at him, his blue eyes tortured, "I wanted you to. I wanted you to use me, so I asked you to in the disguise of help."

"So, correct me if I'm wrong," Magnus summed up, his voice annoyingly free of any anger or blame in Alec's ears, "You wanted me to use you, so you could use me? Alec, that's ridiculous." He didn't quite know what he was feeling now, but it defiantly didn't deserve for Alec to look like he did now, "You helped me. You were there for me whenever I needed you. You never once complained, and now you're telling me you liked it? Is that supposed to be bad?"

Alec stared at him, "But…"

"But nothing, Alec." Magnus snorted, "I just have one question; what did you mean by I'm your addiction?"

"Exactly what I said. I can't breathe without you, when we're together you do things to me that should be illegal, and I crave you like a drug."

"So we used each other for our own addictions." Magnus smiled, feeling like he'd just emerged from a complicated labyrinth, only to realize that it was nothing more than a simple loop, "Do you know why I couldn't do this anymore?"

"No?"

"Because I was becoming addicted to you. When I went to the hotel with what's-his-name, it was because I found this in your pocket." Magnus got up and disappeared into his room, returning with a crumpled business card.

Alec took it and stared at for a second, before realization dawned on him, "This is the card that—"

"That the bartender gave you, yeah. I saw that and felt so…angry. I felt furious and betrayed, and you hadn't done anything! So I wanted to get back at you. I went with whoever he was back to a hotel but…"

"But?"

"Remember what you said to me on the phone? Not to do something I'd regret?"

"Yeah?"

"I remembered that. And suddenly I felt disgusting. I didn't want him near me and I felt sick every time he touched me. So I left and got here as quickly as I could." Magnus explained, unraveling his actions with surprising ease, "And you were here."

Alec couldn't believe it. Was Magnus, after all these years, saying what he thought he was saying? It was like being told you couldn't have something all your life, and then suddenly it was right in front of you for the taking. And yet you hesitated reaching for it, thinking it was a trap, or a dream.

"Alec?" Magnus scooted closer, feeling nervous, "You did it. You cured me."

"What?" Alec looked up, blinking in surprise.

Magnus felt a slow smile spread over his face, "I'm cured. I don't want 'nights out' anymore. Not even a little. I don't want it."

"Magnus that's—" Alec started, and then was cut off by Magnus's lips pressing against his. The drug rushed though his veins and he reached up automatically, holding him against his body almost desperately. He made a small, needy noise in the back of his throat, tightening his grip on the back of Magnus's shirt. He gasped lightly as he drew away, looking up almost shyly.

"You're my addiction too, Alec." Magnus whispered, his eyes bright, "And it's one that you can't cure."

"Good." Alec murmured back, "Because my addiction for you hasn't faded since middle school."

"You were so cute back then."

"Shut up." Alec growled, pulling him down and kissing him again. He drew back suddenly and smiled, "I forgot, I have your present waiting for you!"

Magnus smiled and moved off of him, grinning eagerly as Alec vanished into his room and then came back out, holding something behind his back.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands." Alec ordered, and then placed the coffee mug sized thing in his hands.

Magnus opened his eyes and blinked, confronted with a snow globe. It was a scene of Washington DC, with one of the memorials towards the back. The front was grass and small buildings, nothing too fancy. He looked up at Alec, who was grinning like an idiot.

"Shake it."

He shook it, and then gasped and his eyes flew open. Instead of white 'snowflakes' fluttering around, the snow was different colors of the rainbow. Blues and purples danced together as the green lawn sprang to life, revealing all the color underneath. Yellow, red, and orange spun around like a small fire, intermingling with the blue and purple, and finally green dotting the cloud of color.

"Oh my god…this is amazing!"

"They were having a Pride week down there or something. I had to get this for you." Alec smiled, watching the rainbow snow fly around and then settle back around the now fabulous city of Washington DC.

"Thank you, Alec." Magnus leaned over and kissed him, his body turning towards his lover automatically as their lips met.

Alec made a soft noise and moved closer, getting lost in the kiss. It was starting to gather some heat when a puzzled 'meow?' came from below them.

Magnus broke away and looked down; laughing at their tiny cat, "See? Didn't I tell you we're a screwed up family?"