Jacob

I am a jerk, I am a jerk, I am a big, stupid jerk.

The words kept cycling my mind like a dripping tap I couldn't turn off. Of course I deserved it. I was a jerk. In fact, Paul seemed like a genuine guy compared to myself at that moment. And that really meant a lot.

Jacob Black, you are a jerk.

Every time I thought of Leah's crushed face, the voice screamed at me louder. I honestly hated myself more than Blondie at that moment. I hated myself more than any bloodsucker.

When I remembered the tears that had welled up in Leah's eyes, tears of heartbreak, my stomach convulsed in guilt.

As I walked towards the Cullens' house, the guilt was becoming more unbearable than it already was. Poor Nessie, she would feel guilty too. Even at her young age she was bright enough to read people's emotions and then communicate with her only vampire gift – showing you her thoughts by placing her hand to your face.

Why are you such a jerk, Jacob?

I made my way through the Cullens' house, heading straight towards the kitchen without stopping in the lounge room. If I stopped and saw Nessie I wouldn't be able to leave.

"Seth!" I called out as I entered the kitchen. I found Seth stuffing his face with food.

"Hi Jacob," he said with a mouth full of eggs. "You're an awesome cook!" he complemented Esme, who was hovering over a stove.

"Seth, we've got to meet Sam's pack down at the edge of the border. We're officially ending the fight." I informed Seth. I turned to Esme and asked, "Where's Carlisle?"

"He's upstairs still watching Bella, with Edward." Esme replied.

I suddenly remembered, Bella was still in the process of changing from human to vampire. This didn't bother me so much anymore. As much as I loved Bella, it wasn't in a romantic way anymore. Those feelings diminished when I laid eyes on Nessie. Or maybe I had recovered from Bella before that without even knowing, when I was with Leah…

I brought myself back to the present moment. "Thanks Esme," I replied and she smiled a "your welcome" smile. "Come on Seth." Seth shoved the remains of eggs from his plate into his mouth and followed me upstairs to Carlisle's doctor's office.

I saw Bella lying on the hospital bed. Her skin was sallow and pale. She lay so still that she could have been dead. She's not dead, she's not dead. I kept reminding myself.

"Jacob, Seth, I don't think you two should be in here at the moment," Carlisle greeted us as he ushered us outside. I caught one glance of Edward, sitting beside Bella with a look of pain and hope on his face. I kind of felt sorry for him.

Carlisle shut the door and asked us, "How can I help you?"

I explained to him how we are meeting Sam and how it's appropriate to have at least one vampire to witness the truce.

"Thankyou for inviting me, it's probably best just to have a witness from outside of the packs," Carlisle replied in his calm manner.

"Okay, I think we should head down," I suggested.

We left the house through the back door, so that I wouldn't have to see Nessie, and hold everyone up.

There would be plenty of time to see her later.

As we made our way down to the clearing where we were meeting Sam the voices in my head returned.

Jerk, jerk, jerk.

At this moment Leah was probably making her escape, leaving everyone who cared about her behind – her family. Poor Seth. How was I going to tell him?

Oh yeah, umm I kind broke your sister's heart and she ran away. Oops, sorry about that Seth.

I groaned at the thought.

As I looked at Seth now he seemed so happy and full of excitement, as usual. The only time I had seen him worried was when Sam was ordering the pack to kill Bella by supposedly "protecting the town".

We finally made it to the field.

The first person I saw was Sam and by his sides were Jared and Paul, and behind him were Collin and Brady. They were all standing on the opposite side of the field.

I turned to look at our side of the clearing and I spotted Quil, Embry and to my relief, I saw Leah.

So Leah hadn't run away. Usually if Leah made up her mind about something, there was no going back. So why was she still here? I was the only one who could have forced her to stay, but I didn't want to force her to be unhappy.

When I saw her, she looked like she was concentrating on something. I realised she was staring at Sam.

Now I felt like even more of a jerk. Not only did she have to deal with seeing Sam, therefore remembering the heartbreak. Now it would feel the same as she looked at me. Thanks to my carelessness, I had caused her more heartbreak.

Way to go Jacob!

"Hey Jake!" Quil's voice broke my train of thought. "It's good to see you man!" And with that Quil came up to me and half-hugged me.

Then Embry came up and greeted me quite similarly. It was kind of nice to see my friends again, even after all that has happened.

I turned to look at Leah again and she seemed to be deep in thought still. I thought that now would definitely not be the best time to talk to her, in front of all the guys. We could talk later. But now I had to push all other thoughts aside as I practised my role as Alpha.

"Jacob," Sam greeted me as he walked across the clearing. "I received your message from Billy." I remembered that Carlisle had rung my dad to tell Sam about my imprinting. "Is it true that your imprint is now the half-vampire?"

"Yes," I replied seriously. "It's true. And we have Carlisle here to confirm this."

Carlisle nodded in response.

Sam thought about this for a while and then stated, "Well, since it is against pack laws to destroy another's imprint, the fight is most definitely over. However the treaty still stands for both packs."

"If you don't mind I think I need to intercede at this point," Carlisle interrupted politely.

"Go ahead," Sam allowed.

"Considering the treaty is still in tact, there is the issue of how we have a newborn on our hands. During the birth of the half-vampire Bella was almost dying. There was no way she could have survived the birth as a human. So Edward technically didn't bite Bella, but he injected his venom into her body, therefore saving her life. So I wanted to inquire about whether this breaches the treaty."

Sam stood in silence and thought about this deeply for a long while. Then he spoke sternly, "Since you technically didn't bite her and the venom did save her life, my pack has no reason to attack any vampires. But if Bella does bite any human in her newborn stage, that changes things."

"Of course, we will not allow that to happen," Carlisle replied calmly. "We will make sure that Bella maintains the same diet as the rest of my family, which I'm sure you know is animal blood."

I noticed that Paul and Jared shuddered when Carlisle said this.

"Then I see no reason to keep fighting." Sam stated. Then he walked over and shook my hand declaring the conflict over. "But I suppose now that there are two Alphas, there must be two packs. I don't think this will be able to change."

Then Embry interrupted, "Err, Quil and I would like to add something!" He nudged Quil's arm.

"Oh yeah!" Quil said. "Err, Embry and I, if it's okay with you Sam, would like to join Jake's pack. No hard feelings Sam, but we're kind of pretty close to Jake and everything…"

Paul snickered beside Sam.

"That's not what I meant!" Quil defended himself. "It's just that Embry, Jake and I used to be, like, best friends and everything, so… yeah."

Sam then replied with less of a serious tone, "Well, I guess that's okay with me. As long as Jacob can put up with two more voices in his head."

I looked at Quil and Embry's eager faces and thought Why not?

"Umm," I started. "Sure, I don't see why not."

"Alright!" Quil exclaimed, giving Embry a high-five and then me. "It's the three amigos re-united!"

I rolled my eyes at Quil's childishness. Among all this chaos, I had almost forgotten about Leah who was still standing a few metres away, not saying a word.

"Okay, well," Sam interrupted Quil's merriment. "Since everything's all sorted out, everyone is invited to me and Emily's place later this afternoon to celebrate."

"Awesome!" Quil and Seth yelled together.

Sam, Paul, Jared, Collin and Brady then started walking into the trees, back to the reservation. Embry and Quil followed them. "See you later, Alpha Jake!" Quil yelled as he walked away.

"See you Quil, Embry," I replied, quietly laughing at Quil.

Then Seth appeared in front of me and said, "Oh, umm Jacob? Do you mind if Leah and I head back home for a while? I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see my mom after everything that's happened. Even if Billy has probably already told her everything since she's always spending time with him. But yeah, is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied, feeling weird for giving Seth my permission. I guess it was just something I would get used to, being Alpha and all.

As my eyes met Leah's she dropped her gaze. The guilt returned as I looked at her.

Seth said goodbye and Leah followed him out of the clearing.

It was so tempting to run after Leah and start grovelling on my hands and knees. But I thought it would just cause a scene and embarrassment for both of us.

"Jacob?" Carlisle asked from behind me interrupted my train of thought. "You coming?"

"Yeah," I replied dully as I turned around, heading towards the Cullens' house.

Suddenly I remembered that I would soon be able to see Nessie. Poor Nessie. I hated how much I loved her. I hated it how no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be mad at Nessie. I loved her too much. And it was because of her that I now caused Leah so much pain.

As I was walking towards the house, the dripping returned in my head.

Jerk, jerk, jerk…

Thanks for reading! Is that how Jacob would think after what happened? Does everything sound right? If I'm missing anything please tell me. Reviews?? Please??