Disclaimer: The Pika Police reserves the right to arrest those who do not confirm their lack of ownership of their fanfiction's topic. As such, I must insist that I do not own Nintendo or the Super Smash Brothers series.

SMASHING SHENANIGANS

#7: PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE TEST OF FRIENDS

"Good morning, Smashville!" welcomed Professor Layton as he stepped out onto the stage. "Are you ready for another episode of A Test of Friends?!" The live audience cheered and roared and peed a little. "Well, then let's bring out our contestants!"

Onto the stage walked Captain Falcon, Marth, Wolf, and Lucario. They waved and bowed and blew kisses and all that good stuff, before taking their seats in four extremely comfy chairs.

"How are you are doing?" asked Layton as the crowd quieted.

"Great," came one answer. "Not bad," another. "We're doing alright," was Captain Falcon's.

"So, why don't we start with you as individuals? Tell me about you," Layton said. "We'll start with you."

"Alright," Wolf said, sitting forward. He waved at the crowd, to several cheers, before saying, "Well, my name is Wolf O'Donnell, and I used to be the captain of a small fleet of Arwings called Star Wolf. Uhh, what else? Hobbies? Alright, uhm, I'm a coffee enthusiast, a harmonica player, and a huge fan of the Professor Layton series." The crowd went wild at the obvious ass kissing. Professor Layton, of course, blushed and smiled.

"My name is Marth, I'm a prince from Altea, and I use a rapier," Marth introduced. "My hobbies include sparring, reading, and playing the lute." An army of fangirls screamed and giggled from the middle of the audience, much to Marth's embarrassment.

Captain Falcon started, "I'm Captain Falcon, and I'm an F-Zero pilot! I like to compete in the races and the Smash tournaments, and my hobbies include reading comics, making money, impressing women, Monopoly until four in the morning, and playing the drums." The crowd lightly applauded.

"I am Lucario, and I am a Pokemon and one-time Smash tournament competitor. I like battling, parkour, musicals, and playing piano." Several people in the audience cheered for him.

"It seems you are all a unique bunch," Layton told them, curling his left leg up and propping his foot up on his right knee. "You've seen the show, I assume?"

"Yeah, we had a marathon last week to prepare for today," Wolf started. "We had a bunch of candy, some popcorn, it was a good time."

"Especially when Captain Falcon tried candy corn for the first time," Marth added.

"What happened?" asked Layton, curiously.

"You'd have to taste candy corn to understand," suggested Wolf. The audience laughed with him.

"Well then, since you all know the show, I suppose you don't need an explanation when we move

onto the puzzle," Layton said. "I am quite a puzzle connoisseur myself, and this will be a good way to test how well you four inspire each other to gather information."

"Let's do this!" cheered Falcon. The screen on the back of the stage lit up, and the puzzle was on the screen.

Five suspects are called into police headquarters for questioning. They give the following statements.

A:"One of the five of us is lying."
B:"Two of the five of us are lying."
C:"I know these guys, and three of the five of us are lying."
D:"Don't listen to a word they say. Out of the five of us, four are lying."
E:"All five of us are dirty rotten liars!"

The police only want to release the suspects who are telling the truth. How many people should they let go?

"E is lying!" shouted Captain Falcon accusingly.

"You're right," acknowledged Wolf.

"If A is telling the truth, then that would mean E is the only liar," Lucario elaborated thoughtfully.

"Could A through D all technically be telling the truth?" asked Falcon.

"That doesn't make sense," Marth replied.

"They contradict!" Lucario exclaimed. "Whoever accuses everyone else of lying is the one telling the truth!"

"That'd be D, then," Marth realized. "If he's telling the truth, the other four are liars."

"Our answer is D!" Wolf told Layton. The crowd applauded as a big star appeared on the screen, with their time of 0:29 appearing on the screen.

"Well done," Layton told them. "You all took the knowledge the others gave you and then added that to your own thinking process to establish your understanding over the logic."

"I don't know about all that, but teamwork! Yeah!" Captain Falcon cheered, fist pumping repeatedly and jumping out of his seat and into the floor. He proceeded to roll around and flail in front of a shocked crowd.

"Falcon, we're in public," mumbled Wolf. "Get off the damn floor." Captain Falcon repeatedly pointed up into the air before Wolf reached down and pulled him back into his seat.

"Are we all right?" asked Layton.

"Yeah, fine," Wolf replied. "Sorry about him. He's excitable." Some people in the crowd chuckled.

"Right, I'm going to move on to the quiz part of the show," Professor Layton told them, before taking a swig of his tea. "I will start with Marth here, and I'd like everyone else to follow my assistant into the back room." Obediently, the three remaining heroes stood to their feet and followed the small blue walrus man off the stage.

"Alright, Marth," Layton said. "I'm going to ask you questions about your friends, and you answer according to what you believe. You can answer yourself if you want."

"Okay," agreed Marth.

"Which of your friends is the most athletic?" asked Layton.

"I'm going with Lucario," replied Marth.

"Which of your friends is the most entertaining?" Layton questioned.

"Captain Falcon," Marth admitted.

"Which of your friends is the most productive?" asked Layton.

"I'm going to say I am," replied Marth.

"Which of your friends is the most aggressive?" asked Layton.

"Wolf."

"Since you answered one person per question, we've gotten all the answers we need," Layton told him. "Follow Lyle out and we're going to send in Lucario." Marth got up from his chair and followed the walrus into the back room.


"Lucario," said Lyle as the door opened. "You're up." Marth stepped in and looked around the room as Lucario got to his feet and walked out. There were several couches, and a table covered in the most delectable treats Marth had seen in a long time. Captain Falcon and Wolf were assaulting their gullets with doughnuts and crab meat and mango punch.

"Marth, oh my God!" Captain Falcon shouted. He jumped up and grabbed a potato slice decorated in sour cream. "Try this!"

Marth responded, "No tha- mhph!" Captain Falcon stuffed it into his mouth. Marth's eyes lit up and he swallowed the meal whole.

"More..." growled Marth, before pouncing onto the food like a savage dog.


"Welcome back, everyone," said Layton to Marth, Lucario, and Captain Falcon (all carrying armfuls of food) as they returned to the front. As they took their seats, Wolf reached over and took a piece of chocolate cake from Falcon before eating it whole.

"I see you're all enjoying the food," he jested. The group nodded, and the crowd laughed.

"Surprisingly enough, every one of you gave the exact same answers," Professor Layton told them. "Which means, you will be taken to the obstacle course to be tested on your capabilities."


A camera crew followed Professor Layton and the four heroes as they journeyed out a side door and behind the studio, where they came face to face with a huge glass case containing an obstacle course inside. There were three doors, all leading to different parts of the course, and a microwave, which sat on the outside of the cage.

"You told me that Lucario is the athletic member of your entourage," explained Professor Layton. "As such, he will be the one to move through the course." He opened the middle door, allowing Lucario to enter.

"You also agreed that Wolf is the more aggressive member of the group," said Layton. "As such, you will be taken to the arena, where you will find Spearow, released one after another at increasing frequency. Your job is to take out as many of them as possible to prevent them from attacking anyone and slowing them down." He opened the door on the left, a door that led to a ladder which could be taken up to a round platform.

"Captain Falcon is the entertainer of the group, and will therefore be in charge of the large door at the end of the obstacle course. Near the door, you will find carved several diagrams that detail a dance, which we'll call... The Wess Dance. You must perform this dance to keep the door open so that Lucario can get through it. If you stop dancing, Lucario will be unable to get through, and will therefore be unable to complete the course," Layton elaborated before opening the door on the right, which led to some stairs that took Captain Falcon to the top of the course.

"This microphone is for you, Marth," Layton said, handing over the microphone. "It will broadcast everything you say. Your job is to watch what's going on inside and keep your group moving." Marth grinned and held the microphone to his lips.

"Good evening, everyone," he said into it. "This is your captain, Marth, speaking. We'll be experiencing a little turbulence, so please hold on to your personal belonging and keep your hands and feet in the course at all times. All questions can be held until the journey is over. Thank you." Suddenly, they heard a thud, and turned to see Captain Falcon on the ground level. He had fallen off the stairs from laughing.

"I'm okay," he groaned, getting to his feet and crawling back up the stairs.

"You have two minutes!" Layton told them all once the pilot returned to his spot. "Begin in three... two... one... NOW!"

A Spearow dropped down from a small pipe right away, before charging fiercely at Wolf. Wolf jumped up and scissor kicked the Pokemon, instantly defeating it.

Captain Falcon began to awkwardly shake his butt back and forth in an embarrassing dance that none should ever be forced to perform. The door flew open within seconds, and he continued dancing to ensure it would not close.

"Alright, Lucario, wall jump between those pillars to get up to the mid-section fastest," suggested Marth. Lucario obeyed and began to bound between two pillars at a respectable pace.

Wolf was now dealing with three Spearow at a time, which was becoming incredibly difficult to deal with. He defeated one, but the other two began to peck at him from behind.

"Wolf, use your reflector and your blaster," Marth told him. "Don't let them get close to you any more." Wolf nodded before pushing the button on his reflector to scatter the attackers, and then he whirled around on one foot and shot through both of them with quick reflexes.

"Grab that rope and swing across to the ladder," Marth proposed to Lucario. Lucario quickly did so, grabbing the ladder and scrambling up. "There's another ladder behind you that goes straight to the top. Take it." Lucario jumped backwards from the ladder and reached behind himself, feeling the bars and latching on. He somersaulted and righted himself up before scampering to the platform above.

"It looks like we have one last challenge!" Professor Layton said into a microphone of his own. A box dropped down from the ceiling as Lucario passed through the door. Captain Falcon stopped dancing, shutting the door behind. The two looked at the box.

"This is new..." muttered Marth. Suddenly, the box flew open, and inside was...

"Wario!" shouted Captain Falcon. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you losers got me kicked out of my house, so what better to do then hide in a box and get paid to beat people up?!" Wario answered.

"Afraid you won't be beating us up," Falcon told him. "We're the main characters!"

"Oh, is that so?!" Wario taunted. He reached behind himself and produced a glowing ball of darkness.

"A Smash Ball?" Lucario gasped.

"That's right!" Wario replied, cackling repeatedly. "I'm going to destroy you both with it!"

"FALCON KICK!" Captain Falcon shouted, flying forward and driving his foot into Wario's forehead. Wario released the Smash Ball and fell to the ground. Lucario promptly jumped up and crushed the Smash Ball as it soared through the air, generating a colorful aura around himself.

"Out of the way, Captain!" said Lucario. Captain Falcon jumped back and Lucario took off to the ceiling of the glass prison. He launched a massive beam of blue aura directly down onto Wario, much to the bewilderment of the audience. Finally, the attack ended, and Lucario dropped to the ground. Confetti spewed out from cannons lining the walls, and they heard Professor Layton cheer, "Congratulations!"

"We did it!" cheered Captain Falcon, pulling Lucario into a constricting hug and lifting him into the air. The Pokemon started to turn more blue than usual, and the pilot finally set him down. As Lucario caught his breath, Captain Falcon ran down the stairs and joined Marth and Wolf outside, throwing his arms up and cheering.

"We won!" he shouted repeatedly.

"Are you alright, Wario?" asked Lucario, leaning over to his defeated opponent. Wario slowly sat up.

"Waah, I think so," he groaned. Lucario extended a paw. Wario took it and gently got to his feet.

"What're you doing here?" the Pokemon asked.

"Getting a job," Wario replied. "It's something..."

"Look, I'm sorry for getting you kicked out of..." Lucario started. "Wait, how are you here if you got kicked out of Smashville?"

"Wario got kicked out of Smashville," replied Wario. "Jeremy Garlicworth, on the other hand, is more than welcome as long as nobody recognizes him."

"But then you have to go by Jeremy Garlicworth," Lucario said.

"It's a sacrifice I have to make," Wario told him.

Lucario then told him, "I'll see if I can get you back into Smashville. I think you learned your lesson."


"Those assholes, I can't believe they actually won!" shouted Bowser at the monitor in his base.

"Well, they only had to beat Wario," Snake muttered. "No wonder they won..."

"Still! Those Spearow weren't trained well enough!" Bowser contested.

"Hey boss!" Snake shouted. "I'm going to order a pizza! What kind do you want?!"

"I have no time for pizza," replied a voice from another room.

"Oh," Snake replied. "Well um... When are we gonna kill those guys or whatever?"

"Very, very soon," the voice told him.

TO BE CONTINUED