A/N: Thanks to ChrisCorso, max2013, xcherryxlipsx, Guest, sm2003496, EvergreenDreamweaver, katnissta, and Cherylann Rivers for your consistent and encouraging reviews. I love how everyone interacts with the characters and has different opinions on their actions. Getting reviews is the most rewarding part of the writing process! Thank you!

Confusion flitted across Nancy's face, evidence that Frank's sudden mood change made it hard to focus on the content of his speech. "What?" she asked dumbly.

Frank now held the square see-through package between his thumb and forefinger. "We were discussing how a condom walked into your purse when it doesn't have any legs," he repeated. He knew that he sounded like a douchebag, but at that moment his emotions had a direct and unfiltered access line to his mouth.

Nancy's expression cleared, and she at least showed him enough respect to appear uncomfortable. "It's nothing, Frank."

"Nothing?" Something inside Frank broke yet again to hear those words. What meant nothing to her meant quite a bit to him.

"Nothing," she insisted. "It's from forever ago, Frank. It's probably expired by now."

This response melted the worst of his anger, but only the edges of his hurt. "That's a tiny purse, and I'm sure if you had no intention of using it, you would have gotten rid of it by now."

Nancy leaned back into the tub, no longer defending herself. Her cheeks flamed pink. Suddenly Frank realized that her expression was one of embarrassment, not shame.

"I'm a fool," Frank said. "Enjoy your bath, Nancy."

"No, wait," Nancy said before he left the doorway. She sighed. "I'm afraid that if I told you the truth, you wouldn't even believe me."

"Try me." Frank crossed his arms. "You've never lied to me before."

"Ever since I was eighteen, I've made it a habit of packing a condom whenever I go outside of River Heights for a case. You know how fate brings us together randomly, how we work for the same network and move in the same circles." Nancy looked at Frank significantly.

Frank's breath caught.

"Frank, I never know when I'll be teaming up on a case with you."

Frank's world stopped for one dizzying, powerful moment. Then he reached the bathtub in two long strides. He held out both hands, which Nancy tentatively grasped. He pulled her up quickly, forcefully, and she gasped as hot water sloshed on Frank's khakis and cleanly across to the other wall of a stranger's hotel room. Goosebumps appeared on her skin from the sudden change in temperature, and Frank lifted her from the tub by the armpits like she was a child. He pressed her against the opposite bathroom wall, hoisting her naked body up to his level. Nancy helped him balance by wrapping her legs around his waist, responding to the hunger of his kisses. His arms were busy holding her up, but her arms were free to roam across his bare shoulders, chest, and downward.

Frank groaned, the position unsustainable, and Nancy grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom sink. She propped herself up to sit on it, opening her knees. Frank wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her close, and her lips explored up and down his neck like she was searching for the most sensitive spot to bite. She reached between them, unbuttoning and unzipping, and shoved Frank's khakis and boxers to the floor in a neglected heap.

The condom was, ironically, forgotten.

Nancy pulled back so their eyes could meet for this moment.

Frank returned her gaze, breath short and excited. He saw in her eyes an overwhelming experience of lust, mixed with a sprinkling of tenderness. Somewhere in his brain, an impulse that wasn't connected to his reproductive system whispered to him that consummation was more satisfying when the lust/love ratio was more equal.

"God," Frank whimpered, his disappointment almost reaching the point of physical pain. He squeezed his eyes shut, moved his hands to grip the edge of the sink, and shoved himself away from her. When he opened his eyes, Nancy was even more alluring than she'd been a moment ago.

She stared at him wild-eyed, disbelieving. "Please, Frank?" And then, as her head cleared, "You started this!"

My wife is begging me for sex and I'm turning her down. Frank took several moments to remind himself why he'd pulled away. "And you're finishing it," he said with difficulty. "Unless you can tell me that you're planning to live with me and share our lives together."

Nancy moaned. She leaned back against the bathroom mirror. "Can we talk about this later?"

"No."

She closed her knees, pulling them in front of her and wrapping her arms around them. "I can't answer that just yet, Frank," she said wearily. "I definitely haven't made up my mind not to. We've never even been on a date."

Frank grabbed his soggy clothes from below Nancy's feet and ran from the bathroom before he changed his mind. By the bed, he put one foot in each pants leg, cursed, stepped out of them to turn the pants the right away around, then pulled them up and buttoned in record time. He grabbed a pile of clothes in the general direction of where his had been, grasped his shoes when he saw them in his peripheral vision, and held the shoes in front of his jeans zipper as he fled the room and ran up one flight of stairs. He wrestled his room key from his soaked back pocket, dropped all of the rest of his belongings in the process, swore, opened the hotel room door, kicked his belongings inside, and pulled the door shut behind him.

Joe was standing in the middle of their hotel room, admiring his reflection in the mirror. He was dressed head to toe in a costume of the Jolly Green Giant.

"Bleeding hell," Frank snapped at his brother as he made a beeline for the bathroom. He undressed again and threw his wet khakis out of the bathroom. "Hang those up for me, will you?" he called, turning the knob on the shower and stepping behind the curtain.

"Uhhhh…" Joe extended the word and trailed off, a Beavis and Butthead imitation that he hadn't done since high school. "Is that a hot or a cold shower you're taking, bruh?"

"Cold."

Joe stepped into the bathroom. "Sometimes it's tough to have the ability to make such skilled Sherlockian deductions. You come running to the shower like a bat out of hell, no shirt or shoes on, soaking wet pants—"

"I thought we had a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy?"

"Carrying Nancy's red schoolgirl sweater and bra," Joe finished. "Your red Head Boy vest is missing, so at least Nancy won't have to streak back to her room."

"Uhhhh…"

"Don't finish that thought. Just tell me if you and Nancy were able to work enough issues out that you can get back to focusing on the case?"

"This horrific case that we've accomplished nothing on. This is the longest weekend of my life." Frank turned off the shower, shivered, and grabbed a towel from the rack. "Yes, Nancy's spa time was definitely more good than bad, but nothing's been figured out. We're still in limbo."

"You got to talk, too?"

"Yes."

"Good. And it's a good thing that no decisions have been made, in my opinion—you two should take it slow this time." Frank heard genuine relief in his brother's voice, which he was grateful to hear.

But then Joe spoke again. "There's a Pillsbury Doughboy outfit waiting for you on your bed."

"What?" Frank stuck his head out of the shower curtain, mouth hanging open.

"Well, of course when we're the last ones to pick a costume for the Male Top Extravaganza, it's going to be slim pickings," Joe said in exasperation, as if this were the most obvious concept in the world. "You should be grateful I was able to get you that one. Would you have preferred going as the Geico lizard, or Toucan Sam, or Bob's Big Boy—"

"I am failing to see how our participation in these events will save our country from a nuclear attack."

Joe shrugged, unperturbed, using a green paw to swat a stray branch away from his left eye. "We never know. We obviously had to participate in the schoolgirl academy to get that clue today, yes? I took great pains to hold up the fort this afternoon, getting both myself and Pasha assigned to Ana's room, but all I got was a freshly sore ass. I couldn't search the room properly but I don't think there were any more shenanigans. Brought you a sandwich, too," Joe added, gesturing to the table. "So I brought you breakfast and lunch today. I hope you're ready to resume the role of wife in our relationship."

"Thanks, and no, I'm liking this room service. Naked."

Joe knew this was his three-second warning to turn around.

Frank toweled off and exited the bathroom. He fished for the nearest dry outfit and put in on. He took a bite of his sandwich, chewed, looked at the bed, and sighed. Taking the Pillsbury Doughboy costume, he stepped a reluctant foot inside.