Chapter 7
Prepare yourselves…this chapter is rough and I struggled to write it.
"When life gets too hard to stand, kneel."
-Unknown
…
"Derek?" She said as he hand reached up towards his face. "I…I can't do this anymore."
Derek rubbed the dark brown hair away from her face, a thin layer of sweat engulfing her pale skin. "Hey, baby, I'm right here."
"They'll be back…they always come back." She inhaled sharply, her unfocused eyes darting around the small room, yet never focused on anything specific. "Please don't leave, I can't do it alone, I—I can't."
"Emily, I'm not going anywhere." His hand gripped her clammy hand tightly, serving as his lifeline to her. He had been sitting by her bed since the early morning hours and she was going through full withdrawal within hours. She was on oxygen, an IV with fluids and Clonidine. Whatever 'relief' they were supposed to provide, Derek saw none. Early, she had only been sweating with a low grade fever but quickly progressed to delirium and hallucinations, which she was experiencing now. Doctor Nelson and the nurses checked in every twenty minutes to make sure her vitals were steady and to adjust the medicines. They'd told him he was being exactly what she needed: a supportive partner.
She quickly crashed again, exhaustion consuming her entire body and she shut her eyes. Derek watched as she succumbed to the exhaustion and he called Hotch for an update.
"Brooks is on the top of our list. Garcia tracked down Parks' Grandmother, JJ and Rossi are headed their now."
"You think she'll give us something?"
Hotch sighed. "Hopefully. Strauss is breathing down my neck about our time spent on this case."
"Screw protocol. We can't give up again."
"We won't." Hotch paused. "Parks tried to buy a gun at a roadside stand—"
"And?" Derek said excitedly.
"He couldn't give us much, but we know he's driving a white pickup."
Derek sighed. "Well, at least it's something."
"How's Emily."
Derek exhaled, his eyes falling onto the sporadic rise and fall of Emily's chest. "Not good. The withdrawal is…it's bad."
"JJ is going to stop by later so you can get some rest."
Morgan shook his head. "No, Hotch I'm fine here."
"It's not a discussion. You need rest, Derek, just as much as she does. You can't give up on yourself."
Derek finally gave in, agreeing that a nap and maybe a shower would be beneficial. The two hung up just as Emily began stirring on the bed. Soft moans escaped her dry lips as her head twitched from side to side.
"No…no more, please. I don't want anymore."
"Emily, it's okay, it's all over." Derek soothed.
Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them out. "Please, please…" She cried weakly. "Derek, please get him off me…please, help."
Tears were not a common thing for Derek Morgan and he prided himself with having a firm hold on his emotions, but he lost it. Listening to her soft cries for help, for him to help her, broke everything within him. The once strong walls came crashing down and the emotion hit him like a truck, crushing his soul.
With tears flowing freely, he grasped her hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb. "You're okay," he choked, "I'm here now." He gently dabbed a cool washcloth over her forehead, her hazy brown eyes looking into his.
"I can't do this…" She cried. "Make it stop, please."
Derek looked into his friends eyes, trying to decipher the meaning of her sentence. Was she still delirious or was she lucid again and talking about the withdrawal? Before he could ask her, she closed her eyelids and passed out. He felt some degree of relief every time she fell unconscious. She was no longer feeling the draining effects of the drug withdrawal. No longer crying and screaming at things that weren't real. Finally at peace.
"Hey." A soft voice came from the front of the room.
JJ.
"You didn't have to—"
JJ rolled her eyes. "Hotch said you'd fight me. But Garcia said she'd come here herself and drag you home if she had to."
"I'd like to see her try."
JJ raised her eyebrows at the dark agent in the chair. "Derek Morgan," she began, "you have five seconds to get your butt off that chair and outside this room." JJ said firmly, mimicking the tone she would use to discipline a small child.
"Alright, mama bear, don't pounce just yet." He said as he stood up and gathered his belongings. "Call me if anything changes."
JJ nodded and Derek took one more look at the woman on the bed. "Maybe she'll talk to you?" He asked rhetorically before retreating from the room and down the hall. Once he'd left, JJ closed the door and took a seat next to the brunette woman who was sleeping. She rubbed her hand through her brown hair, rubbing small circles on her forehead, similar to the soothing she gave Henry while he cried.
"Emily," she said gently, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, "what did they do to you."
She sat on the cold, cement ground, shivering at the chills the floor sent though her body. The sound of water dripping had been a constant annoyance for the past three days, never stopping or changing speeds. The same damn drop. Drop. Drop. Drop. She had tried to stop it, tried crawling across the small room to turn the damn sink off but never could. The chain around her ankles stopped her just short of the handles. She'd tried forcing herself, ignoring the nagging pain as the chains tightened around her ankles, but it was impossible.
"Please! Make it stop!" She cried, squeezing her eyes shut as she rocked back and forth, desperately trying to think of something, anything else but the dripping. William had come down two days ago to give her a sandwich and water, only laughing at her when she pleaded with him to turn it off.
"You've only been with me a month, my love. Don't let a little water break you just yet." He said with a wink before going back up the stairs.
Now, the noise was the only thing she could hear. When she managed to sleep, usually because the exhaustion took her, the first thing she heard was the dripping. She didn't know how much more she could take.
"C'mon Emily, it's nothing. You're being pathetic." She thought to herself just as the door swung open and three men entered, one being William. She sat up straighter. She wouldn't show them fear.
"Emily, I'd like to introduce you to some buddies of mine." The two other men stood in front of her, making vulgar comments about her nearly naked body. "Brody and James."
She looked at both men and her heart dropped. The second one. James. She knew him.
"Chief Brooks?"
"The one and only." He said with a sadistic grin.
How had they missed this? They're profilers for heavens sake. She'd been working with this man for almost a week now and he hadn't rung any warning bells for any of them. He seemed like a dedicated Chief. All those girls he seemed so worried about, now the though of it just made her sick. Maybe they weren't as good as they thought they were.
"I've been waiting for this moment every since I saw you. I knew you were next."
"Hey! Don't be takin' all the credit, dude. I'm the one—"
James took a deep breath, a death glaze waxing over his vibrant eyes. "William."
William and Brody both took a step back, neither wanting to upset the man further. The moment gave Emily a second to think. Brody and William were definitely not in charge, James held onto them with a grip so tight neither could get free. She decided that he called the shots and was the controller. But how did they not tie him to it?
Seconds later he tore her away from her thoughts as his belt and pants dropped to the floor. He slithered over to her, a grin plastered on his face. It was then, that exact moment, that she couldn't hide her fear. She knew what came next. She knew his other role in all this. He would be the first to break her.
"It seems that the worst is over." Doctor Nelson reported. "Usually the symptoms peak after one or two days and she seems to be past that hurdle."
"Is she lucid?" Morgan asked.
"We think so. She hasn't said much, but she's aware of our presence and answers our questions."
"Can we see her?" He immediately asked.
"One at a time. I don't want to overwhelm her." The doctor said.
"I'll go—" Morgan said.
Hotch shook his head. "JJ, you go. I think she'll open up more to you." He told the blonde who quickly walked to Emily's room.
Morgan's eyes widened in shock. "Hotch, what the hell?"
Hotch turned to face the younger man, his stoic expression plastered on his face. "We need to get more information to go on and Emily may feel more comfortable—"
Morgan took a step back in disbelief. "More comfortable? We're partners, man. I trust her with my life."
"Derek, we don't know what she went through." Rossi added and a silence fell over the three men, all with the same assumption.
…
"Em? Can I come in?" JJ asked softly from the doorway.
Emily nodded and JJ stepped in quietly, shutting the door behind her. "I'm glad you're feeling better, we all are."
"The whole team's out there?" Emily asked in a whisper.
"Yeah. Well except Garcia and Reid. They're at Quantico."
Emily nodded slowly, fiddling with the fibers from the blanket. "Did…did you find them yet?"
JJ's shoulder's dropped. "No, we haven't." She paused. "I was hoping you could tell me anything else you remember, maybe it'll help?"
Emily hesitated before reluctantly agreeing. JJ sat in the chair next to her bed, a feeling of apprehension washed over her. She felt like she barely knew the woman sitting on the bed, yet she'd known her for years and considered the brunette one of her closest friends. Eight months sure changed everything.
"I don't know if you remember, but Chief Brooks came in a few days ago—"
"I remember."
"You…uh.."
"Freaked out?" Emily said with a sheepish grin.
JJ nodded, a small, but encouraging smile appeared on her face and Emily continued.
Emily swallowed the growing lump in her throat, her heart picking up its pace as her mind went back to the cellar. "He was the first…"
"The first?" JJ asked.
"I'd been there for a month. At least that's what he told me."
"Who told you?"
"William told me." She said, a hint of annoyance laced her voice. "James…he, uh, he raped me." Emily's voice was cold and detached, her eyes stared straight past JJ but focused on the empty air. The lack of emotions on her face shook JJ to her core. She'd just admitted out loud that she'd been violated in the worst way and had shown almost no emotion.
"Emily…" JJ began, unable to find the right words. 'Sorry' seemed so meaningless. I'm sorry you were raped and tortured while we were flying to California to work a different case? 'I'm sorry' meant nothing.
"I'm fine." Emily insisted, her FBI agent self coming to the surface for the first time in a while. "There were three of them, including William and James."
JJ nodded. "Do you know the third man's name?"
"Brody. I don't know his last name, I'm sorry."
JJ shook her head. "That's okay, Emily."
JJ could feel the tension radiating off of Emily, the conversation clearly affected the brunette even if she didn't admit it.
"Did they ever take you somewhere else?" JJ asked, clearing her throat, "maybe in the car, or just outside?"
Emily shifted in the bed, avoiding eye contact with JJ at any cost. "No." She stated. "Are we done?"
"Yeah, that's all for now." JJ looked over Emily. She'd stared down at the blankets and started fingering the white sheets.
"The team is still out there?"
JJ smiled. "Yeah, do you want me to get them? I'm sure they'd love—"
"No. Not yet." She briefly glanced at JJ, her empty eyes burning a hole in JJ's chest. "I just…"
"It's okay, they'll understand."
"I'm sure Morgan wants to see me, but…"
JJ chuckled, attempting to lighten the air. "Don't worry about that tough guy, he'll live."
Emily forced a small smile, one that JJ easily saw through. Their recent conversation clearly took an emotional toll on Emily and JJ could sense she wanted to be left alone.
"I'll go let them know." She said as she walked towards the door. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?"
Emily nodded but said nothing, her empty gaze now directed at the window. Once the door finally closed, she let out a breath and sank back into the bed. She closed her eyes, letting a silent tear slide down her cheek.
Sorry about the wait, I've been super busy lately. But I hope the wait was worth it, I worked really hard on this chapter. See you again soon xoxo
