Sorry if this one is a little short, guys. I swear that it's good, though. And I promise the next one will be fat and long (teehee, that's what she said).



"Okay, you got that… Okay, lets try another one. Er… this one," I say, pointing to question in the schoolbook. "Try this one."

"In which celestial hemisphere does crux lie…" Leah reads over the question once more and bites the end of the quill in thought. "Hint?"

"It can only be one of two," I say, reminding her.

She pauses for a few moments, takes out a pack of sugar quills, and begins to suck on one.

"Northern!" She exclaims suddenly, looking at me for approval. I smile apologetically and shake my head.

"No, afraid not. Remember: we have Polaris, which is our polar star. The southern hemisphere has no polar star, so it has a constellation, Crux, to mark the highest point instead."

"I'm such an idiot. I'm no good at this, not at all! You don't have to help me any further… really."

I pull the textbook closer and take a sugar quill for myself.

"No, we'll work so you get it. Giving up wont help your grade. You're already doing much better! You've gotten four of the last six questions before this right. Right?"

Smiling, she nods once and pulls the book towards herself. Her hand taps quietly as she studies. It's impressive, really, how easily she is reassured. I assume it's because Leah is already self-assured and confident, but not so much so that she has no doubts.

She closes the book.

"Okay. Try me again. I'll get it right this time."

"Great. I'm going to give you three questions and if you get them all right… hmm, well, then I'll buy you a cauldron cake and some peppermint humbugs. But only if you get them all right."

"Rose Weasley, are you bribing me?" She laughs.

"Methods help!"

"Really, you should be sent to Azkaban for being a bad influence. Who would have thunk it."

"First question...What is aphelion."

"The farthest distance the earth will ever be in our orbit from the sun in. Shouldn't I be working hard for those sweets?"

Grabbing the packet of sugar quills tightly, I throw them into the chair across the table.

"That was for cheek," I say, pointing a reprimanding finger at her. "Cetus is in which hemisphere?"

"Southern."

"And Leo?"

"Northern.

As I stay silent, her face falls.

"Leo is just below the celestial equator. Southern again. We can meet again next Monday. And you'll get it. You're already getting it."

She nods, looking slightly crestfallen, and begins to pack her bag. Book by book, the table gets cleared, until one would hardly know that we had been here.

"You're doing good. Don't think so much. You know it. You just need to drill it," I assure her, smiling.

"Really?"

"Stupid thing to lie about. But yes. Really. So, you'll remember my payment?"

Leah rolls her eyes. "You've asked me three times. Yes. I will be your potions partner. And even if you weren't tutoring me, I wouldn't leave you to work with that tramp. She's the worst there is."

I shake my head, smiling, even though I feel rotten when I remember that we still aren't talking.

"Gilda really isn't the type of person everyone thinks she is."

"Even though she's been acting so ghastly towards you?"

"The reason behind it is complicated."

"You've done something to her?"

"…Not exactly," I say, scratching my neck as I hold the library door open for Leah. "Honestly, she did something to me."

"Then you forgive her for whatever she's done?"

"No, not really. But she still isn't who everyone thinks she is. No one really gives her a chance."

She ruffles a scoop of blonde hair in her hand. Every strand places itself into a perfect messiness. "I don't trust her. Rumors have truth to them."

"I still don't like hearing her being talked about."

I shouldn't care, after she's left me alone while I'm drunk, after her snooty silence, but she's still my friend.

So I can't help but care.

"Fine, I get it. Okay, astronomy, done; potions, partners. Yes?" Leah asks.

I raise my thumbs and grin wide.

"Perfect. See you in the morning, Starkid."

"Right-o, Moonshoes."

With a small smile to myself and a wave goodbye to her, I climb the stairs towards my dormitory and my bed.


Tip

Tap-tap, ta-tap

Tip

I lazily open my eyes, and my dream drains out of them as soon as the candlelight rushes in. I try to draw it back into my mind, try to remember, but it's gone.

I used to remember my dreams.

Tip

There it is again. I listen for it once more, too soon from sleep to search.

Tap-ta- tip

Finally, my ears find it for me. I look over at the window and smile. Shawn, looking much like an oversized, black marshmallow in his muggle down jacket, hovers outside the window, grinning over his scarf.

Running over quickly, I unlatch the window and pull it open, wincing as the wind and snow and cold stampedes in.

"Are you mad?" I ask, laughing quietly, afraid to wake my dorm mates.

"Absolutely barking, when it comes to you."

I cringe at the line, then it registered that he was being completely serious.

"Hop on," he says, standing on the windowsill.

"Turn around, I have to get dressed."

I change quickly. A pair of jeans and my winter coat. A scarf and some gloves. Almost immediately after I stuff my feet into a pair of shoes, I clamber onto my writing desk, get on the broom and wrap my arms around his waist.

The flatness of the desk and the warmth of the room vanish as I feel the weightless rush of flying. Grains of snow graze my face as we fly over the school.

Shawn is a beautiful flyer. I can hardly feel the broom, he's so graceful. He's as careful in the air as he is on the ground.

The broom slows as we near the astronomy tower. I feel the weight come back, sitting heavy in my stomach.

We sit on the stony floor. It's chilly on my legs; it feels uncomfortable, that feeling of being unable to determine whether the stone is wet or simply just cold. Shawn's body is warm and sturdy, and I can feel his strong arms, even through the down jackets. One would think this would provide some comfort, but it's just bland.

There's a barrier in place that is thick as our coats.

"What's wrong with your essay? I ask, staring at the clouds.

"How did you know?" He asks, grinning, looking at me as if I'm the sun after the storm.

"Because I know you," I say softly, with a tiny smile. I whisper a warming charm.

"Yes, well it's easy for you, isn't it? I'm just Shawn. But I still don't get you, Rose Weasley. You," he pokes my forehead, "are still a mystery."

"How so?"

I push myself deeper into his arms. The air escapes from my jacket with a hiss.

He looks up and his eyes are thinking. I cast a warming spell on us and remove my jacket.

"You- … you don't have patterns. You're different from your cousins…"

"Keep going," I laugh, quickly forgetting my discomfort upon hearing that I'm different from my family.

"Alright, er, you're not afraid, or ashamed, or being smart. You're unapologetic of being yourself. You're the most Gryffindor-ish Gryffindor I've ever met."

"Oh, am I?" I ask coyly, turning around to face him.

"Yeah." He kisses me. As soon as our lips touch, he begins to draw away. I stop him; I put my hand on his jaw and pull him back, deeper, into the frustrated kiss. The world doesn't fade. The cold doesn't become warm, but a heat churns in my stomach and I finally feel something.

It's difficult to tell whether he's resisting or not, but for a moment, for this moment, I don't care because I'm at last experiencing something more than the baseline.

He returns the gesture; I feel victorious, just like I've won a game. His mouth curls against mine, his teeth scraping against my bottom lip. It's frighteningly good, almost wrong, almost perfect, falling somewhere between the two.

His tongue flits against my upper lip. Surprised yet pleased, I open my mouth a bit wider, glad to have finally tempted him.

What am I saying?

I'm his girlfriend. I'm his (kind of) supporting, loving girlfriend, yet I'm leading him towards the path that he morally cannot tread.

But I don't stop him, because I've been dying to tread this path for far too long and Shawn is far too good a kisser to let go of.

He groans as we sit in the cold, unaware of almost everything. Hand pressing against my side, he lifts up the hem of my shirt, his cold fingers touch my back. It goes higher, higher, and then I see what he's doing, so I reach behind me an expertly grapple with the clasp of my bra.

Only when it unhooks, he tears away quickly.

"No, Rose," he says, his voice oddly strained. "Just… no."

"Why?" I ask flatly, crossing my arms.

"Why? You know why. I told you. You said you were okay with it."

"Well, that was before I knew you were going to refuse me in every way possible."

"What?"

"That's right," I grumble, "every time I've tried to get close to you, what happens? You retreat. Every time! I'm tired of that."

He recasts the warming charm wordlessly, then says, "You know I can't to that with you."

"Can't? You can't? Can't what? Have sex? Is that it?"

"It would be against what I believe, what my family believes!"

"I am so fed up with this! Do you have any idea what it is like? What it is like having a boyfriend that is afraid to fucking touch you? That refuses to kiss you, all because he's too scared of having his virginity stolen to kiss you? It's humiliating. I'm comfortable with you like I am with no one else. Nothing is ever difficult with you, which is rare for me in my life. I want to give you something no one else can have, but you just throw it in my face because of some unrealistic pact you made."

I breathe out, gasping slightly from my rant.

And I gulp as I realize that I've just called Shawn's religion an unrealistic pact.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. "It's just frustrating. It's awkward feeling ready for something like this but not being able to do anything."

"I can't help how I was raised, Rosie. I wish I could sometimes. I wish I could right now. But-"

"It isn't a sin," I say, rubbing his shoulder.

"Yes it is! I've been raised following certain rules. Sex before marriage is a no. A big no."

"Sex is not a sin. Isn't it supposed to be beautiful? It's what creates life! Why would…," I stumble over my words, feeling a bit silly talking about 'God' as if I believe in him. "Why would God make something that precious a sin?"

"People abuse it! People overindulge when they are tempted. I don't want to be one of those people. I don't want to do that to you."

Sighing, I take his hand in mine and let it drop onto the stone floor. My bra hangs awkwardly on my shoulders, still unclasped.

"…We aren't people. We're just you and me. Right? Rose and Shawn? We've been taking it slow till now, no reason we can't take it slow after as well," I say, not quite sure why I'm fighting so hard for this.

"Rosie, I-… you know I can't. I-"

"I'm sorry, I know, I just… I dunno. I don't know! It's confusing. Way too confusing. I won't do this again. I promise."

I make to stand up, but he grabs me tight to his chest, his powerful arms wrapping around me, warm and firm.

"You really want this that much?" he asks, hoarse.

The smell of his skin fills my nose and I hesitate.

Finally, I nod. Shawn pales ever so slightly, and then he does something I never would have expected from.

His mouth touched my neck, hot, luring goosebumps out of my skin.

"Do you know the contraceptive spell?"

Again, I nod.

But the victory isn't there.