A/N: So this story has pretty much been told through Jack's eyes, here we really get to hear Sam's thoughts on what happened in more detail. Thank you everyone fore your kind reviews and your patience. Please enjoy.
'Please take a seat, Captain.' Major Davis said moving forward and readying the recording equipment.
Sam took a seat and laid the folder containing her reports on the table.
'Are those your mission reports?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Would you mind if I read them over before we start?' he said dropping into his own seat.
'No, of course not, Sir.'
'Thank you.'
As Davis glanced over her reports, Sam sat almost entirely still. Almost, her thumbnail caught the edge of her pants pocket on her thigh, flicking it deliberately and repeatedly, the small clicking sound breaking the silence every 10 seconds or so.
If it bothered Davis he didn't let it show.
She watched him as he read the reports. Occasionally, he'd frown and then make notes on a pad in his briefcase, the lid preventing her from reading what he wrote. As his gaze took in the last fragments of the reports he nodded and cleared his throat.
'I'm going to begin recording now.'
'Yes, Sir.' she said stilling her twitching thumb.
There was a click and a whir of the tape recorder starting up.
'Major Paul Davis, investigating incidents at Stargate Command following SG-1's mission to planet designation P3X-797. This is my initial interview with Captain Samantha Carter of SG-1.' he said looking over his paper to make sure he got all the details correct before sighing softly and settling back in his chair. 'Captain.'
'Yes, Sir.'
'As there has been sexual contact I would like to take a moment to allow you the opportunity to put forward any concerns or allegations you may have in relation to this incident.'
Sam remained firmly silent.
'Can I confirm then you do not wish to raise any concerns about the conduct of Colonel O'Neill?'
'No, Sir.'
'Very well.' he said with a nod as he leaned forward. 'Let's start at the beginning shall we? When did you first meet Colonel O'Neill?'
'I was aware of Colonel O'Neill at the time of the first Abydos mission, but I was still working at the Pentagon at the time. I first met the Colonel in the briefing before my first mission through the gate. General Hammond called me in after the gate was activated two months ago. By the time I arrived they had already brought together the previous team and confirmed that Daniel Jackson was in control of the gate on Abydos.'
'How did the first meeting go?'
'Like any time I've been assigned to a man's team without their prior agreement, there was tension. I went in feeling like I had to prove myself, I think I managed that.'
'And what was your first impression of Colonel O'Neill?'
'May I speak freely, Sir?'
'Of course.'
'He was a cocky asshole.'
Major Davis let loose a noise, a splutter of surprise coupled with a guffaw of laughter.
Sam smirked and continued.
'But I'd read as much of his file as I was allowed when I worked at the Pentagon, he had good reason to be cocky. He was a seasoned and successful officer. And it was apparent, even in the few minutes spent in the briefing, that his team respected him.'
'And the other initial impression?' Davis asked tentatively.
'On our first mission he pushed me through the event horizon, my impression that he was an asshole was pretty firmly cemented then. But as the mission progressed and I saw him interact with Doctor Jackson, I figured that it was a kind of trial by fire, if you survived then the Colonel would respect you if still occasionally enjoy making fun of you too. There were other sides to him as well. It was clear he cared about Skarra, a native boy from Abydos and when he convinced Teal'c to help us escape the prison on Chulak he showed conviction and diplomacy. He had my respect after that.'
'So how would you describe your feelings towards him at the time?'
'Professional. I've been in the Air Force for nearly 10 years, been around it my whole life. I know what's expected of an officer. And I know that as a woman, whether it's conscious or not, I'm under more scrutiny than my male colleagues.'
'I can't speak to the rest of the Force but I will be impartial in this investigation.'
Sam grimaced and looked him in the eye. After a moment she nodded and murmured, 'Yes, Sir.'
They discussed the few missions they'd been on as a team, how the group and not just Sam and Jack worked together.
'Okay, so now the mission to 797. Your report is pretty thorough so I just want to clarify a few things. The touched, you said you thought they weren't human when you first came across them.'
'Yes, it would be like comparing us to Neanderthals or something even more ancient. They looked human but their behaviour was completely animal. The people of the Light confirmed this. Once the curse, or as we now know virus, took affect then they became completely uncivilised, wild and primal such that they were banished to the land of the Dark.'
Davis nodded. 'Okay, lets move forward to when you returned from the planet. Can you take me through what happened? Did you realise something was wrong?'
Sam sighed softly.
'I knew there was a problem when SG-3 started fighting, they were exhibiting behaviours that resembled the Touched on the planet that much was clear. I was concerned for the safety of SG-3, but not for myself. I guess I should have felt concerned that I had been exposed to 'the curse' too but it didn't cross my mind, perhaps that's a side effect of the virus, allowing it to spread more rapidly however that's only speculation.'
'Did you realise you were infected?'
She frowned. 'The thing with realisation is that it requires logical thought, and that's exactly what it, the virus, saps you of. There is no rationality, no logic just instinct.'
'Please tell me what you recall of your experience whilst you were infected.'
'I'd like to make clear that when I refer to myself whilst under the influence of the virus that these are actions that I would not have taken in my right mind.'
'We are still determining how the virus affects people. Please describe what happened as best as you were able.'
'My memories are a little fragmented, I was working in the gateroom doing some diagnostics. It seemed like just moment later I was heading to the locker rooms and everything was different. The way I saw things, colour was less important, my attention drawn by movements. I felt different; flushed and restless. I not sure if it was the memory of the fights between the members of SG-3 or that I was surrounded by men but I was filled with a desperate need to align myself with a someone to ensure my safety.'
'Someone?'
'Colonel O'Neill specifically, I sought him out, I wasn't interested in an alliance with anyone else.'
'You talked about speculation earlier, would you care to speculate on why you choose Colonel O'Neill?'
'I've worked closely with him these past few months. We'd developed a trust, I think that carried through to my mind under the influence of the virus.'
'The two other members of your team are male.'
'Daniel is an archaeologist, he wouldn't have been able to protect me.'
'And Teal'c?'
She grimaced. 'Though he looks human there are significant genetic differences between us and the Jaffa. It's highly unlikely that... that we could produce offspring.'
'Offspring?!'
'Yeah, remember I couldn't think logically. I wasn't thinking that my colleagues will be able to figure this out and fix everything. My primitive mind was assessing the situation and working to ensure my safety for as long as possible, that would involve successfully baring children for my mate.'
'And you thought all this as you approached the locker room?'
'No... I didn't think, I wasn't capable of thinking...' she sighed deeply, leaning forward and resting her head in her hands. 'It's strange, thoughts didn't grow, they didn't come together and form in your mind, it's like they were there instantly and you were acting on them before you knew it. I wanted Colonel O'Neill and I went into the locker room with the express purpose of getting him.'
'Please, continue.'
'I waited for Colonel O'Neill in the locker room and then...there's no other way to say this, I forced myself on him. He was quite clearly still in his own mind, the virus hadn't taken hold, he tried to push me away but my behaviour was wild, animal. He tried to restrain me, said he was taking me to the doctor but I was still struggling, trying to kiss him, trying to take off his clothes. Then... he kissed me. I think he was just wanted me to stop, he was willing to try anything to stop me pulling at his clothes. I was a little calmer then I think. I don't know, guess I felt like he'd accepted me, claimed me. After that I let him carry me without fighting him. But then we arrived at the infirmary and I knew something was wrong, I started lashing out at the others in the infirmary.
'The next thing I knew I was waking up in in a cell. I don't remember too much while I was there. Somehow a fight must have started between my cell mate and I, I don't even really recall them bringing her in let alone what the fight was about. The door opened in the middle of the fight. She got distracted but I became more focused. I knew it was him. Almost like I could smell him. I put my cell mate in a choke hold until she passed out. I looked up and saw him. I knew he was different, he was like me now and he'd come for me. He took my hand and I followed him to his quarters. As he barred the door with a chest of drawers. Then we...' she pause trying to figure out the best way to describe it. Nothing seemed fitting so she reverted back to the term they used in sex ed. in high school. 'We had sexual intercourse.'
She sighed and scrubbed her hand over her face, growing fatigued.
Davis remained silent watching her intently.
'You asked earlier if I wanted to raise any concerns or allegations, I don't. It wasn't rape. Dr Fraiser remarked that large doses of sedatives could reduce the effect of the primitive mind, there was a moment in that room when he said my name, when it sounded like the Colonel and not the virus. It seemed like he was asking my permission. The virus responded immediately, yes. So he said my name again. And I agreed. I mean me, I agreed. But that doesn't mean it was entirely consensual. There's no way, had we been in our right minds that we would have ended up in that situation. But there we were, both carried there by the virus and each giving as much consent as we could.'
Major Davis started making more notes.
Sam watched the end of his pen twitch and shiver in the air, glad of an excuse to pause and take stock. The interview process was more taxing than she'd imagined.
The Major finished writing and set down his pen softly.
'Please, continue.'
'We had sexual intercourse again then fell asleep. When next we woke it was evident that all traces of sedative were gone and the virus had taken it's full effect. We took turns using the bathroom, which wasn't exactly easy when you don't remember ever having encountered a toilet or sink before. The Colonel managed to find some clothes and food while I was figuring out the toilet. We ate. Then we had sexual intercourse a third time and fell asleep again.
'The chest of drawers scrapping against the floor woke us up. The Colonel tried to get me to hide in the bathroom, he wanted to protect me. I refused. He was my mate and I intended to fight with him. He, very reluctantly, agreed. I put on a shirt and a pair of boxers and prepared to fight. He pushed me slightly behind him so I got on the bed and crouched so I could just barely see over his shoulder. They kicked in the door and took up standard positions. They shot the Colonel with a tranq., he somehow managed to stay standing but was hunched further forward. I got an idea and the Colonel seemed to know what I was thinking, shifting his stance and indicating he was ready. I leapt forward using his back as a springboard and attacked the guards. It was a blur, one that became more frenzied when I heard the Colonel fall to the ground. I think I was sedated soon after.'
The Major nodded and made further notes. 'I understand that you were administered the cure whilst you were sedated.'
Sam nodded, 'Yes, when I woke up I had a terrible headache but I was no longer feeling the effects of the virus with regard to my behaviour.'
'Dr Fraiser reported that you and Colonel O'Neill were alone when you regained consciousness.'
'Yes, I still had wrist restraints on when I came round. Colonel O'Neill offered to fetch Dr Fraiser immediately in order free from my restraints. It was clear that he was very apprehensive and concerned. I refused his offer to get the doctor and asked him to free me, I guess I wanted him to know I still trusted him. He was very careful not to touch me as he undid the restraints. I asked what happened and he gave me a medical account of what happened whilst we were under the influence of the virus. He was about to turn away, possibly leave and I reached out to him, I put my hand in his and held it tightly. It was only then he asked me the one question he needed an answer to.'
'What was that?'
'Did he hurt me.'
'And your answer was?'
'About as much as I hurt him.'
Major Davis nodded, his expression unreadable.
'He was concerned that what happened was rape and I tried to assure him that it wasn't. One remark I remember very clearly was that Colonel O'Neill said that he didn't have his full consent, let alone mine which I think is the best description of the what happened.'
'So you both come to terms with what happened fairly quickly?'
'Yes, Sir, I suppose we did.'
'Well enough to go on a rescue mission through the gate?'
She smiled. 'You sound like Dr Fraiser. She disagreed too and as we promised her, it was noted in my mission report and presumably Colonel O'Neill's too. Well enough, I think, is the best description. Daniel needed rescuing and it was probably my last chance to go through the gate. The Colonel gave me an opportunity to opt out of the mission, which Dr Fraiser was present for, but I wanted to go. We were able to carry out our rescue without any problems. In fact it went smoother than some of our previous missions. We were in sync, just like when the guards broke into the Colonel's quarters.'
'Really?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Did anything else persist after the virus was cured?'
There was a moment before she replied, 'Yes, Sir.'
'Please, go on.'
'Like I said, we were still in sync. Still... connected.' She sighed. 'I said before that my trust in Colonel O'Neill had carried through to my regressed mind. I think something else carried through too. I think the virus may have acted on some, purely unconscious, wants and desires.'
Major Davis' eyebrows rose and his mouth gaped open.
'Talking with others after they came round it became apparent that just about everyone else couldn't remember much of the time that they were regressed, the Colonel and I remember. All of it and a lot of detail too. I figured that for the memories and feelings to continue after the cure was administered that it must have have started with something real, no matter how small. I'd never considered Colonel O'Neill in that manner before, not consciously anyway, which is why I said that it built on unconscious desires. What happened while we were under the influence of the virus, that connection, those emotions seems to have taken root and... persisted.'
Davis started making notes, Same found that she couldn't help herself from continuing.
'Something about us had fundamentally changed. I can't... It going to sound strange but I can't separate myself from him any more. Colonel O'Neill and I are pursuing a personal relationship. I... we had intended to maintain a professional distance until the conclusion of the investigation but it was impossible no matter how noble our intentions or how hard we tried.'
The Major stared at her.
Sam sighed and looked around the room.
'I don't think there's anything more I want or need to say. Unless you have any more questions, Sir?'
'Ummm. I'll just review my notes.' he said frantically scrabbling through his papers. 'Ehh I think we've covered most of it. Though I may need to ask you further questions later on.'
'Understood, Sir.'
'Terminating initial interview with Captain Samantha Carter.' he said before shutting of the tape. 'You're dismissed, Captain.'
'Thank you, Sir.' she said getting to her feet.
She was surprised when she heard him stand and follow her to the door.
Jack leapt to his feet as the door slid open. The look of relief on Sam's face was clearly visible but it didn't do anything to hide the exhaustion the emanated from her.
'How are you holding up, Carter?'
'Fine, Sir. Piece of cake.' she said softly, though the slump in her shoulders said otherwise.
'See now you've gone and made me hungry, the whole time I'm being quizzed in there all I'm going to be able to think about is cake.' Jack said hoping the Major would get the hint. The pair had been in the room a hell of a long time and Sam looked like she'd been put through the ringer. He wanted to support her anyway he could, even if he'd have to settle for them sitting quietly side by side in the cafeteria because they were still on the base.
The Major looked at his watch, eyebrows raising in surprise. 'I think I'll take a break now any way. Colonel, if you'd like to give me your mission reports I'll review them before our interview. We can meet back here at 1300 hours, if that's okay with you Sir?'
It was clear that the Major asked if it was okay in order to be kind and show due deference to his rank, but that a refusal couldn't really accommodated.
'Thank you, Major. That works for me.' Jack replied sincerely, as he handed over the folder. 'So how about that cake, Carter?'
'Yes, Sir.' she said with a small smile.
With that they walked down the hall, the Major's eyes following them and noting the professional distance between the two.
