Sorry that I've been stalling the skate-off. This chapter I'm positive that there will be one. And again I am sorry for taking so long for updating (or not updating, whatever you want to call it). Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I ain't got nuthin'.

Warnings: Well, sadly, I'm going to have to say that this chapter has mentionings of yaoi. So pretty much the parts with Marly are going to be like that. But other than that, please enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chapter Seven: The Skate Off

"Are you sure you don't want me to teach you how to ice skate, Axel?"

"No, Marluxia, I'm fine. It's just like rollerblading."

"It's your funeral."

Marluxia winked at him and skated off, showing off his moves by doing a twirl in the air. Vexen had put on his skates and skated over to him.

"Is the plan a go?" he whispered into Marly's ear.

"All systems are a go, cap'n!" replied Marluxia. Vexen just stared at him with a weird glare.

"What?" asked Marly. "I've always wanted to be a pirate!"

"No, Marluxia. You've always wanted to be the pink Power Ranger."

"Oh yeeeeeeaahhh…."

MEANWHILE!

Saïx and Xemnas were standing at the ice skate rental counter, waiting for their skates to be delivered.

"Could this person take any longer?" asked Xemnas to himself.

"Yes," answered Saïx.

"Um, Saïx, that was a rhetorical question."

"Ah."

There was a moment of silence.

"You know what, Xemnas?"

Xemnas turned and looked at him.

"What, Saïx?"

"You're old name kinda sounds like a French guy saying 'The Snort'."

"What? You mean Xehanort?"

"Yeah. It's like a French guy is saying 'Ze Shnort', you know, in a really thick accent with his nose stuck up and everything."

"Gee, thanks! You know what your name sounds like!"

"What?"

"I don't want to say it in public."

"Why not?"

"Because it's crude and unnecessary."

"Well, that's our job, isn't it?"

"What?"

"To be crude and unnecessary!"

"No, no. Our job is to be rude and act like jerks."

"Hmmmmm…..I could've sworn it was the other one."

"Hey!" yelled a voice from behind them. "Are you two idiots going to take these skates or what?"

They both turned around and saw Christine standing there with two pairs of skates in hand. Xemnas took his and sat down to put them on. Saïx just stood there.

"Um, hello?" asked Christine, waving the skates in front of him. "Do….you….want….these?"

"Oh, yeah," he answered. "Um, look, I have to ask you one question."

"It'd better be quick."

"Um, what does my name sound like to you?"

"Well, it would really help if I knew your name."

"Oh. It's Saïx."

She immediately began cracking up.

"You're (laugh) serious (laugh) right!" she laughed out.

"What's so funny?"

"What it sounds like, of course!"

"Well, what does it sound like?"

"I'm not telling!"

"Fine! I'll find out myself!"

He took the skates angrily and sat down next to Xemnas.

"Will you tell me?" he asked.

"Nope. Find out yourself."

Saïx gave the pouty lip to Xemnas and started putting on his skates.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(About 30 Minutes Later)

Every member of the Organization was gathered around the entrance of the ice rink. Xemnas was standing at the very front, trying to get all of them to be quiet.

"Pay attention!" he yelled over the large mass of 12 people. They immediately obeyed. "Now I want to introduce our four judges and two referees."

Six people walked up to the front of the crowd.

"Alright. First we have the judges. The first judge is Alexis."

The girl named Alexis stepped forward. She had brown and black curly hair with red highlights. She was wearing a shirt that said "Time Stops for No Man Unless He Casts Stop."

"HI ROXAAAS!" she screamed. Roxas made a mental note to run away from her in fear, which he did.

"Okay then," said Xemnas. "The next one is Katraeya."

A girl with silver hair and crimson eyes stepped forward. She looked about 17.

"Hi Axel!" she said with a wink.

"How does she know my name?" asked a confused Axel.

"Fangirl," everyone chorused.

"Oh."

"The next two are the kid from the snack bar and…."

"The name's Katie, punk!" said the kid with dorky glasses from the snack bar.

"Right. The next two are Katie and the girl at the ice skate rental counter that annoys everyone to death because she always demands a tip for doing a crappy job, Christine."

Immediately Xemnas got pelted with the tip jar.

"I bet you losers couldn't do better," she said. "Anyway, $4.50 an hour isn't really much to get you into your job."

"Oh yeah? Well we get $5.00 an hour!" shouted Demyx proudly. "Beat that!"

"Would everybody just shut up for a second or five?" asked Zexion in a very emo way.

"Party pooper…..," muttered Luxord.

"I heard that, punk!" yelled Zexion angrily.

"Ooooooh! What are you gonna bloody do? Sniff me to death?"

"Why you little-!"

Zexion ran and tackled the poor, pathetic, Luxord, who is now screaming in pain in British.

"BLOODY HELL!" yelled Luxord. "ARE YOU OFF YOUR TROLLEY, MATE! GET OFFA ME YA DAFT NUTTER!"

"Okay, what did he just say?" whispered Xigbar to Xaldin.

"I don't know," answered Xaldin. "I think he just said something about a car eating Planters Peanuts."

"That makes no sense whatsoever."

"I know. I don't speak "English" English. You know, like Austin Powers or the Beatles."

Xigbar looked at Xaldin with a weird glare.

"What the heck is wrong with you, man?" he asked. Xaldin shrugged his shoulders.

After Zexion had totally beaten the crap out of Luxord, everything became quiet so Xemnas could continue introducing everybody.

"Alright, Zexion, you just lost your cake day privileges!" shouted Xemnas.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled emo man angrily. "That's not fair!"

"I know," said Xemnas with a smirk. "Now let me introduce the referees. The first is named Chanelle."

"OHMYGODHIDEME!" yelled Saïx, dodging behind Vexen, who was now somehow confused.

The blonde haired girl stepped forward, dressed in a referee's shirt. She immediately scanned the crowd and spotted Saïx.

"I'm watching you, punk," she said, staring into his skull.

"AAAAHHH! SCARY LADY!" yelled Saïx, crouching down lower.

"Oh get over it," muttered Xemnas. "Now I'll introduce our second ref, Amanda."

"OHMYGODHIDEUS!" chorused Zexion and Axel, dodging behind Marluxia, who was smiling because he liked them so close….

"Pervert!" whispered Zexion behind him. After all, Zexion could read minds.

"You know, it's not like I can't see you idiots," said Amanda in a boring, flat tone. "Pinky here is about as skinny as a pole."

"Hey!" yelled Marluxia. "I watch my figure very closely! I'm not that skinny!"

"Mmmmmhmmmm. Well, if it makes you happy, I'll call you Fatty."

"SHUT UP YOU…YOU….NOT…FLOWER-LOVING PERSON!" yelled Marluxia, obviously offended. "Find a happy, pink, flower-filled place; find a happy, pink, flower-filled place…."

While Marly was muttering to himself, Amanda gave Axel and Zexion the "I'm watching you like a hawk and if you screw up anything prepare to be humiliated and/or mauled" look. They got the drift.

"Now that I'm done doing pointless introductions, let the skate off begin!" yelled Xemnas, opening the door to the ice rink, letting the judges and referees go in first. Then everybody else filed in except for Axel because he's just afraid of anything ice related. Marly, who had gotten onto the ice immediately after the refs and judges, skated over to Axel in hopes of getting him on the ice.

"I thought you said you could skate," he said, twirling a strand of pink hair as he said it.

"I know," answered Axel. "I'm just not in the mood right now…."

"Oh c'mon! You can't not be in the mood for ice skating! Plus if you don't go on the ice right now, you won't be able to compete in the skate off!"

"Oh noooooo!" said Axel as sarcastically as he could.

"C'mon Axel! Even Zexion is on the ice! And that's just, like, a miracle. I'll even show you how to skate!"

"No thaaaanks."

"Fine. I guess I'll have to resort to drastic measures."

Axel's eyes widened and he stared at Marluxia with one eyebrow quirked.

"What exactly are you going to do?" he asked.

"Come here," said Marly with a malicious grin.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"That's not a very good reason."

"Just come here, dammit!"

"Fine, Mr. Grumpypants."

Axel walked over to Marluxia, still confused about what he was going to do.

"Come closer…," he purred.

Still confused, he moved closer.

"Lean your head closer."

Axel did. All of a sudden Marluxia leaned in too, and grabbed Axel's nose.

"GOT YOUR NOSE! Now you'll have to follow me onto the ice and get it!" screamed Marluxia like a little girl.

"Give me my nose back, you twit!" yelled Axel angrily.

Marluxia jumped onto the ice and ran off with Axel's 'nose'. Axel ran as fast as he could behind him, which wasn't really that fast because he had thin little figure skates on. He stopped a moment before getting onto the ice, but finally gathered up enough courage to step on. Of course, he immediately fell down, but you still gotta be proud of the little guy for being so brave.

So anyway, after about ten minutes of chasing and falling, Chanelle and Amanda skated to the middle of the rink and blew their whistles as loud as they could at the same time, which meant that it really hurt your ears. Everybody fell silent as Chanelle started to speak.

"I'm going to quickly go over the rules," she stated. "First of all: no violence. So that means no kicking, punching, mauling, maiming, cracking the ice open with a humungous sword…"

She looked directly at Saïx when she said this. Saïx hid himself behind Xemnas immediately.

"….setting people on fire, attacking people when they aren't looking, tripping people with your ice skates, throwing ice skates at people, etc. Second rule: No stealing of people's noses."

Marluxia quickly handed Axel's 'nose' back.

"Yay!" said Axel happily.

"You know that isn't real, right mate?" said Luxord.

"Does it look like I care?"

"Yes."

They both heard Chanelle stop talking.

"Third rule: No talking when a referee or a judge is talking," she said, gazing directly at them. "It's just like school."

"What are school?" asked Lexaeus.

"It's obviously a place where you've never been," said Amanda to herself.

"Lexaeus understand now."

"You do?" asked Xaldin.

"Lexaeus wonders what person with dreadlocks name is."

"I don't have dreadlocks," said Xaldin angrily. "My hair is just really long. And my name is Xaldin."

"Hairpin?"

"Xaldin."

"Balding?"

"XALDIN."

"Antidisestablishmentarianism?"

"XALDINNNN!"

"Folding?"

"You're hopeless!"

It was then that he realized Chanelle and Amanda were staring at them in a very evil way.

"Are you done?" asked Amanda.

"Yes'm," replied Xaldin.

"Good," said Amanda. "Now I'll go over the three sections of the skate off with you. The first is a relay. All thirteen of you will skate at once and whoever finishes three laps the fastest wins. The second is a trick show. Whoever has the best tricks, jumps, etc. will win."

They all heard a "Yay!" from Marluxia in the crowd.

Amanda cleared her throat and started talking once more.

"The last section of the skate off is still undecided, but our judges will come up with something by the time the first two are over."

"The first competition will begin in about five minutes. Use that time to get ready," added Chanelle.

The two refs skated off and the whole Organization started prepping for the first competition.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well, I know that chapter wasn't as funny as it should be, but I really did try my best. I just had to go over what was going on in the next three chapters with you first.

And guess what? You - yes you- get to pick what the third challenge is because I'm totally clueless! If you have any bright ideas, tell me in your review or leave me a message.

Reivew pleez!

gigglesnort!