A/N: IMPORTANT! Okay, I just want to get this across for everyone...Lucas and Brooke will always care about each other no matter what, it's what I believe to be true in my soul...sooooo...I think that no matter what Brooke has put Lucas through and all the distasteful things Lucas may have said about Brooke, Lucas will always care for her and in this chapter their moments of awkwardness I feel is real and would happen between them...I hope I have done it justice...


Chapter 7: The Morning After

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours."
- Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged"

I stirred throughout the rest of the night. I never really fell asleep as Brooke's face, body, and soul flooded my mind. When I noticed Peyton waking up I closed my eyes. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. I pretended I was sleepy and began to open my eyes slowly.

"Hey you." She said with a sleepy smile.

"Morning." I wrapped my arm around her just hoping that her warmth and smile would take my mind off of Brooke.

I flipped on top of her and she grinned.

"Are we making up for what you promised me last night?" Peyton kinked her eyebrow and it was nothing compared to Brooke's kinked eyebrow.

I didn't say anything. I just kissed her. My tongue found its way into her mouth and her tongue was desperately reaching for mine. Just like all the times I would rescue Peyton, her tongue was desperate for my rescue as well. This wasn't helping me get in the mood. My mind was still on Brooke and everything that has happened in the past two weeks. I pulled back from her and she became frustrated.

"Why are you stopping?" Her hand snaked down to my boxers as she began to caress my dick and she was getting the job done as my bulge became hard. Her hand rubbing my dick through the thin fabric made me groan. With my eyes still closed, I leaned over and pulled her back into a kiss and I was on top of her again. I opened my eyes briefly and I saw Brooke.

"Damn it." I rolled off of her and got out of the bed.

"Lucas what the hell is wrong?"

I let out a curse and walked away from her. I went into the bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Brooke's face still haunted me even through my reflection.

There was a pounding on the door and I shook my head.

"Lucas, what is wrong? Are you okay?" Peyton said through the door.

I opened the door and stared at her.

"You knew Brooke was here and didn't tell me!" I didn't ask it as a question; I forced it as an exclamation.

I walked past her into the kitchen.

"She asked me not to tell you. Why are you so upset about this?" Peyton's shoulders began to shake and she crossed her arms.

"It's you and me, Peyton. You kept something from me. Omission or lie, it doesn't matter. You held something back from me. You should have told me she was here. We don't keep anything from each other, that was our deal when we got back together!" I demanded of her.

She shook her head as tears started to build in her eyes.

"Yeah Luke and what difference would it have made? It's obvious that if I was to tell you or for her to just show up at your doorstep, you would still be angry and filled with such hate right now."

I let my brow soften as I watched her frame seem to get smaller.

"You should have just told me, Peyt." I said quietly and she shook her head again.

"You know, Luke. She was my best friend, the sister I was never given. I lost her too and she asked one small thing of me. Don't think for a second you wouldn't have done the exact same thing." She pointed her finger at me and went to the bathroom and slammed the door.

I jumped back a bit at the force she applied to the door. I grabbed a glass of water, sat down at the table, and reached for the phone hanging on the wall. I hesitated but dialed the number I knew so well.

It rang three times before a sleepy voice answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"So how long were you going to keep it from me?"

There was a long sigh at the end of the line and the voice became more alive.

"Luke, there are some things you don't understand and yes, I was torn at what to do. I love you both the same and I just need you to understand I was doing what was best for her and you."

I shook my head. I was tired of people telling me that they were doing what was best for her and me. It was eating away at me to know what Brooke's deal was and this entire time everyone including my girlfriend knew what was going on.

"Haley, you could have let me know something. You knew that it bothered me that I saw Brooke in New York that night and that I knew something was wrong but you kept telling me that she was okay."

"Lucas, she is okay, she's just—you needto talk to her."

Yeah I do need to talk to her, rationally without the yelling and the mention of the past. Like I have been telling myself this entire time, we are two different people. We're not those kids in high school anymore.

"I'll be bringing your car over in a little while." I cut the phone off and rested my head in my hands.

Peyton emerged from the bathroom and went to the bedroom. I followed in behind her and she began to get dressed with her wet hair falling along her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I said to her.

She had her back to me as she clothed her naked body. I almost reached out to her to prohibit her from putting clothes on and throw her on the bed, but I shunned that thought from my head.

"Luke, you know I knew this would be hard on you. You loved Brooke, I know that, the world knew that, and I know you lost someone important to you, but I did too and her friendship did mean something to me so when she asked me not to say anything to you, I did because like I told her, she hasn't been here the past five years, what does being here now matter?" She slipped the cotton dress over her shoulders and twisted her wet hair into a bun and tied a white handkerchief around the wound hair. She looked pretty in her natural glow.

"I know. I'm sorry." I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her.

"We haven't been in a fight since we got back together and I really don't want to fight with you now." She said into my shoulder.

I nodded. Peyton and I have been through a lot over the past few years.

"I am going to work early, clear my head. Do what you need to do, Luke. I love you." She reached up and kissed my cheek and walked out the bedroom patio door.

I knew it was early but I needed to see Brooke. I would not be surprised if she did get pneumonia or worse. I went to take a shower and as I turned the water to scolding hot, I climbed in and I found myself needing to let out a release. I reached down and started to stroke my shaft as it hardened. I really wanted to make love to Peyton this morning, but I became distracted and now was a good time to release myself. I started stroking more vigorously and the minute I closed my eyes, the image of Peyton started disappearing. I became confused but I was still able to feel my release coming and with a few more strokes and speed, an image came to me fast and as I came, my eyes shot open to see a vision of Brooke back in high school.

I took in a deep breath and leaned against the wall.

"Shit." I said trying to get my breath to steady paces.

I started getting dressed. I pulled out a white button down shirt, dark jeans, and my brown boots. I looked into the mirror one last time. I needed to shave. Having facial hair added a few years on me. I was barely twenty-three and I was pushing thirty. My hair was getting shaggier as well and I didn't even realize. I shook my head, grabbed Haley's keys, my jacket, locked the house, and started the drive to my brother's house where Brooke would be.

It was strange. Now that I knew she had been here all this time, it made me realize that maybe I knew this entire time and didn't want to believe it. I had been here this past two weeks and felt a presence. Something I couldn't explain and maybe it was Brooke this whole time. Before I realized it, I was at their house and I looked up at the window where I last saw Brooke not even ten hours ago.

I got out of the car and was greeted by Haley at the front door.

"I should have mentioned yesterday that you need a good shaving and a haircut. Jeez, you hair grew so much." She walked away from me and went to the bassinette in the kitchen where Lydia was sleeping.

"Maybe you could help me out." I said as I followed her.

I sat next to the sleeping Lydia as Haley poured two cups of coffee.

"Sure thing…you are beginning to not look like yourself." She handed me the cup of coffee.

"Thanks." I said as I looked over at Haley and she seemed tense.

"How are you?" She asked.

I took in a deep breath and just looked at her.

"Well I managed to get into two fights in the past twelve hours with two certain women. How do you think I'm feeling?" I said to her as calmly as I could.

"Sounds familiar. Nathan told me that you brought Brooke home last night. What the hell was she doing out in that storm?" She asked the last question mainly to herself.

"Haley what's going on with her?"

She gave me a look that only Haley could possess.

"Are you asking because you are concerned or because you want to clear your conscious?"

It was like a stab in the heart. I looked up at her and couldn't believe her choice of words.

"Don't look at me like that Lucas Scott. You have spent the past few years not caring about her and sometimes may I add slandering her name. Now I have never thought what she did was right, but she did what she thought was best for herself. I can't argue with that, but if you want to know what's wrong, I want to make damn sure you want to know the reasons because deep down in that tortured soul of yours you still care about her."

"Of course I do, Hales!" I raised my voice nearly waking the baby. I reached over and rubbed the baby's belly and looked back to Haley. I finally admitted out loud that I still care about Brooke, of course I would, I always would.

We looked at each other for a moment and she placed her cup on the counter.

"I haven't checked in on her yet. You're free to go." She said quietly and walked over to the bassinette and smiled at the sleeping baby.

I started for the stairs but turned back around. I grabbed a cup, poured the coffee with two creamers.

Haley shook her head.

"Old habits never die." She said as she rolled her eyes and I rolled mine right back at her.

I climbed the stairs carefully not to spill the coffee. I stopped at the door to Brooke's bedroom. Take a deep breath and relax I tried to tell myself.

I knocked twice and I got nothing. I knocked one more time before opening the door. I tried my best with the two coffee cups to open the door and when I did for a moment I wasn't sure if Brooke was in the room. I walked over to the bed and placed the cups on the nightstand. I pulled the covers back and Brooke wasn't there. I became concerned but when I turned around, the scene before me nearly broke my heart.

Brooke was curled into a ball in footed pajamas in the closet. I slowly walked towards her. She was sleeping but I could tell this was not a peaceful sleep. Her face was clouded with sadness and pain.

"Brooke?" I whispered.

She didn't move. How did she get over here from the bed? I hesitated on what I should do but without any further thought, I gently scooped her up in my arms once again and carried her over to the bed. Her body began to shake, she stirred and then violently started reaching out towards me, but I could tell she wasn't reaching for me.

"Brooke!" I said trying to wake her from her dream.

Her eyes immediately opened.

"Where is he?" She called out as she began to take in her surroundings; she placed her hand over her face and began to cry.

I didn't know what to do. She broke down in that moment as tears wracked her body and her sobs echoed through the room. Before I realized what I was doing, I had climbed into the bed with her and brought her into my arms. I leaned against the headboard and just held her. She cried uncontrollably and I couldn't help but bring my eyes to the couple in the picture next to the bed. I could tell she was crazy in love with the man who had his arms securely wrapped around her. I looked back down at Brooke as her sobs became tame but her body did not stop shaking. She looked up at me and slowly pulled herself away from me.

I got up from the bed and went to the armchair parallel to the bed and scooted it closer to the bed.

"I brought you coffee." I handed it to her and she took it from me.

"What are you doing here, Lucas?" Her voice was deep and dark and her body was still shaking.

When she turned her face towards me, the scar was staring back at me and I tore my eyes away from her.

"You don't look too good. I am sure you are sick from sitting in the middle of the rain at the River Court. Why were you out there last night?" I asked timidly trying to hold back any frustrations and anger I had towards this woman before me.

"It doesn't matter." She mumbled.

I let out a huff as I started to get up and leave.

"You know no matter what happened between us in the past and last night, damn it Brooke, I still care." I decided to just leave; she wasn't going to talk to me and I wasn't going to fight her right now.

"I am a disgusting human being." I heard her say.

I released my hand from the door knob and turned back to her. I almost wanted to agree with her, but I felt she was referring to something that didn't involve me.

"Why?" I asked her as I turned around to face her.

"I killed my fiancé." She said and her face broke into disgust.

I walked back to her and sat in the armchair leaning towards her.

"What are you talking about?"

She was silent for a moment; I reached out to her and placed my hand on her arm.

"Brooke." I said concerned.

"Julian. He's dead because of me. We got into a fight, I run out into a storm. Which is something I tend to do." She laughed bitterly and took a moment to find her composure.

"He follows after me and he gets hit by a car. I never got a chance to say goodbye and it's what I deserve because I am a horrible person!"

I couldn't tell if she was telling last part to me or telling herself. The pit of my stomach tightened and I found myself back on the bed and pulling her into my arms again. It was something that Brooke and I always seemed to have between each other. Even if we were ever mad at each other or hated each other for what happened the first time between Brooke, Peyton, and me, we were always able to be there for each other…as friends. She didn't fight me, she let me hold her and I could only imagine what else she is going through. I wasn't even sure what this meant to me. I wanted to know what was wrong with her and I got my answer, but now what do I do with it?

I didn't plan on being friends with her or attempting to rebuild the bridge that was burned between us. But now…the circumstances are just not what I thought they would be. Brooke was obviously in love with this man. A man that I had never known and this man loved this woman in his arms that he wasn't sure he knew at all.

"That was not your fault. Things happen that is beyond our control. You never could have known that something like that would have happened." I said into her hair.

She still smelled like the sweet scent of vanilla and jasmine even after sitting in a rain storm.

"But it is. I am being punished for leaving all those years ago. I should have given a proper goodbye. I should have done things differently, Luke, I am sorry, I shouldn't, I should have—"

"Stop it!" I said it harshly but not on purpose.

I really didn't want to talk about the past, not right now. Last night was enough to kick my HCM on and give me a heart attack.

She quickly pulled herself out of my arms and slivered off the bed. She wrapped her arms around her body and even with the thick layer of clothing on her, she was shivering.

"Please, get back into bed. I'll go get you some soup and some cold medicine." I quickly got off the bed so she wouldn't be uncomfortable anymore.

She slowly walked back over to the bed and got under the sheets. I nodded towards her and headed for the door. Once I opened it, I stopped and said under my breath.

"Just what the hell were you thinking being out in that storm?" I said it and hurried out of the room before she could say anything.

I descended from stairs and Haley was sitting on the couch with Lydia in her arms watching the news.

"I didn't hear any yelling. How did it go?" She said without looking at me.

I walked over and sat on the couch next to her. I didn't know what to say.

"Hales, what do I do?"

We sat in silence for a moment and she was confused.

"What do you mean? Did she tell you what happened?"

Another moment of silence between us. I looked over at her and my eyes gave me away.

"Luke, what do you want to do?" She rested her hand on my leg and I shook my head.

I didn't need any of this. I was happy, in love, getting to a point in my life where everything was going the way it should. Them BAM of course Brooke Davis emerges back into my life and everything I know is thrown to the wind and I am left whirling around in the sky not knowing what will happen next.

"Brooke is my storm Hales, she always has been. I just don't think I will ever be able to get out of the storm."

"Luke, look at yourself. Look at how this is making you feel. How you ever would say bad things about Brooke, I will never understand. This is killing you." Her hand on my leg moved to my back as she began to rub circles on my back.

I looked over at her.

"No one has to guess who you upset about as it's written all over you. You care so much about her that I don't think that will ever go away."

"Haley, that may be true, but that doesn't mean I want her back in my life, or anything. It breaks my heart to know that she is going through the exact same thing my mother went through. To lose the love of your life without any warning, without a chance to say goodbye."

Haley looked at me confused for a moment and I raised my eyebrow.

"What?" I asked her frustrated.

"Love of her life? Honey, you were the love of her life."

I was going to speak when Lydia started to cry. Haley was still looking at me like I was an idiot and she shook her head, held Lydia close to her, and walked away.

"Lydia is hungry; I am going to feed her."

I let out a frustrated sigh and walked into the kitchen. I was able to find some chicken noodle soup for Brooke. I heated the soup on the stove and tried to find any type of cold medicine for Brooke to take to help suppress the cold she may get. As I waited for the soup to be perfect, I thought about what Haley said.

You were the love of her life

If that were true then why the hell did she leave? Why the hell would she not leave me any kind of explanation? She just fucking left! I slammed the bottle of cold medicine on the countertop and ran my hand through my hair. I cut the heat off on the stovetop, poured the soup into a bowl, grabbed a glass of water, and placed the contents on the breakfast tray, and started back up the stairs.

Once I got in front of Brooke's door, I saw Haley out of the corner of my eye and I saw her grin. I rolled my eyes and walked back inside. Brooke had changed clothes and was laying back in the bed staring out the window.

"Brooke?"

"Luke, you really shouldn't have done that." She said with a cracked voice.

"I know." I moved the photo album from the nightstand and I was afraid to touch the picture frame of her and Julian.

She did me the favor and moved it herself. She placed it under the pillow next to her and she inhaled the scent of the soup.

"Thank you." She said. She stared at the soup and took the medicine and downed the entire glass of water.

She stirred the spoon around the bowl of soup.

"Brooke, you need to eat." She needed to eat a whole cow. She was getting to the point of just skin and bones. I had never seen her like this before.

"I am just really not that hungry."

"Bull shit." I said.

For as long as I've known her, she has always been hungry. She would eat more than Nate and I both combined sometimes.

"I am just…okay." She took a sip of the soup and with just that one spoonful some color came back into her cheeks.

"Not so bad. Huh?" I said to her.

She nodded and stopped for a moment. I didn't know what to say or do next.

"I'll leave you alone. Brooke, for goodness sake, please stay out of the rain." I got up to leave again and she stopped me.

"The rain makes me remember all the horrible things I've done in my life. The rain is my penance and I hope to seek redemption." She said softly.

"Brooke, you are not a horrible person." I had to leave before anything else was said.

As I reached the living area, Nathan and Jamie came into the house with two strangers behind them and suitcases.

"Hi!" Haley startled me as she came around the corner of the kitchen carrying Lydia.

She walked towards the two unknown people and extended her hand to the tall blonde and the quirky brunette.

"It's so great to meet you, I'm Millicent, you can call me Millie." She said.

"I'm Clay. It's so great to put faces to names." He said as he adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder. When his eyes met mine they hardened.

The brunette kept staring at me and I became extremely uncomfortable. The brunette walked towards me and extended her hand.

"You must be Lucas."

I was still confused and took her hand in mine. Her eyes were huge and mesmerizing.

"Yes…and you are…" I said still not sure how these people knew me or who they were.

"I'm Millie. This is Clay. We're friends of Brooke's."

"Luke?" Nathan finally acknowledged my presence as he and Jamie walked further into the house.

"Jamie, buddy, let me help you." I grabbed one of the pink suitcases from him.

"What are you doing here, I figured after last night…" Nathan stopped talking as Haley swatted him in the chest.

"Luke, they are going to stay here for a little while to help Brooke out. She could use all of us right now."

Clay kept his eyes on me as he walked past me. The guy seemed extremely rude but I just chose to ignore him.

"Where's Brooke?" He asked kindly towards Haley.

"Uh if you go up the stairs, she's the second door on the right."

Clay took the steps two at a time.

"Don't mind him."

I turned around to face the brunette as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"He's very protective of Brooke especially after what has happened." She took in a deep breath to regain her composure. It was obvious that Millicent, Clay, Brooke, and Julian were close.

"It was lovely to meet you Haley, and you Lucas. I was wondering when I'd get the chance to meet you." She smiled at all of us and slowly walked up the stairs.

I turned back to my family and just looked at them.

"Well that was fire and ice between those two acknowledging me."

"I have actually asked Clay to help us with our freelancing, Clay is in the same line of work. He's the one who recruited Quentin Fields."

I raised my eyebrows and I became impressed. Quentin Fields was probably the Michael Jordan of his generation.

"Nice." It was all I could say. I still didn't like the looks and the way he spoke to me.

It seemed that Brooke and I were going to have to talk later about what exactly she has said about me to them.

"Well, I guess I am going to head out. I think I've had enough for one day." I started to leave but I was stopped by a raspy voice.

"Lucas." She said gently.

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie ran towards the broken woman and she pulled him into her arms.

Seeing Brooke with Jamie made my heart ache. You could just look at her face and tell she was sad. I am sure she was looking forward to having children with Julian. It was something she always wanted.

"J-Luc, I am going to take your uncle to get his car down by the river court. How about you get to know my two best friends okay?"

"I though I was your best friend?" Jamie questioned her. I smiled at the sweet boy.

"You sir are my bestest friend in the entire world." She poked his little nose and he ran over to Millicent.

She walked towards me.

"Hales, Nate, I'll see ya'll later. Jamie, stay out of trouble. It was nice meeting you both." I said towards Clay and Millicent.

Millicent gave me a wide smile and Clay just stared as Brooke placed her hand on my arm to lead me outside.

Once we were outside, I watched her. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and let the sun bask upon her face.

"You don't have too, I can walk. I could use the fresh air."

"Then I'll walk with you." She wrapped the sweater tighter around her body. She was not wearing enough layers for this wind. Still being stubborn as she was, I took my jacket off and put it around her.

"Luke, no, take it." She went for the jacket and I stopped her.

My hands on hers was like touching a hot pan. I quickly pulled away from her.

"Keep the damn jacket on, Brooke." I scoffed at her.

We walked in silence for a little while longer.

"I'm sorry." I rushed out.

"What for?" She asked.

"I didn't say it earlier. I can only imagine losing someone you love."

We kept walking.

"You did Luke, Keith."

"And you." I said under my breath.

I saw her stiff up.

"Lucas, I think we should talk more about that…just not right now…I, God, I want us to try and be friends or something…Lucas, I can't do any of this without your help."

I looked over at her again and I didn't know what to say.

"What do you need my help with?" I asked her quietly.

"When I left Tree Hill, I lost myself. When I met Julian, I finally felt alive again, and everything has been ripped away from me. Luke, I don't know who I am or what I am supposed to do. I look through all my memories and I can't find that girl I used to be, I can't find the woman I wanted to be. I am just nothing, I am empty." She began to shake and I desperately wanted to reach out to her, but I kept my distance.

The river court started to come into view.

"I know that I have no right to say this, but Brooke, I need time, you swoop back into my life after five years and I can only imagine how you're feeling right now, but I am still trying to figure out what happened senior year between us."

She stopped walking and I looked back at her.

"I left you a note on your door, Luke." She walked past me and I didn't know what to say.

She left a note?

"You left a note? Is that supposed to make up for you leaving?" I said angrily.

"Well it lets me know you didn't read it, so no, I guess it doesn't." She said as she kept walking ahead of me.

"No I didn't because I never got it."

We walked in silence some more with both of us not knowing what to say. I never got it which means someone took it. There were only two people I could think of that would take it.

She was looking out towards the river and we finally reached my car.

"Let me drive you back." I said coldly.

She let out a bitter laugh.

"No thanks, I'll walk back. I could use the quiet time."

We awkwardly just waited for the other to say something and she spoke first.

"Okay, goodbye." She started walking away from me.

"Give me some time to think about this." I got into the car before she could say anything and I drove off.

Anger began to feel me as someone betrayed me all those years ago. Even though leaving a note and no matter what was said within the containment of it wouldn't excuse her leaving without a proper goodbye, but the thought that someone didn't want me to find it made my blood boil. So the first person to come in mind…Tric wasn't too far away.


Thoughts? Up next: Lucas confronts Peyton about the letter...and you'll be surprised... Lucas gives Brooke an answer...Clay and Lucas meet and what may they talk about? Lots of flashbacks will occur over the next few chapters as well...I can only give you guys so much ;) Stay tuned!