Heart of Glass
Alex barely slept that night and awoke to an empty bed, her whole body aching. She winced as her fingers lightly traced the bruise across her ribs, darker and more painful than it had been before. The tender kisses had done nothing to soothe the vicious blows and rough hands. James had ignored her tears, simply taking what he wanted. She didn't bother trying to stop him; Alex knew it would only make it worse.
She sat up gingerly and retrieved her silk robe from the floor, wrapping it around her naked body. Padding barefoot into the kitchen she spied a note on the counter.
Alex,
Gone back to mine to pack things then leaving for Graham's; be back Monday afternoon.
Missing you already, be a good girl.
James x
She had completely forgotten James was going to stay with friends in Oxford for the weekend. The Guv had allowed him to take Thursday and Friday off work so he could drive up there, although the team suspected he just wanted to get rid of the tosser for a few days.
Alex released a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. Four-and-a-half days without James. Maybe that would give her time to summon up the courage to do something about this.
Glancing at the clock on the wall her good mood vanished instantly; James had switched off the alarm, so she had overslept, making her forty-five minutes late for work. Shit.
Getting showered and dressed as quickly as she could, Alex was forced to skip breakfast to make up for the time it took to cover the bruises on her cheek and neck. They had been starting to fade but last night had obviously refreshed their appearance. She just hoped that no one noticed. Shaz had looked at her strangely a couple of times, but she had never said anything. And Gene rarely made eye contact with her so there was no way he would have noticed, and even if he had, he clearly didn't care enough to ask her about it.
Alex chastised herself for thinking about Gene like that; he was nothing like James. If he had seen the bruises then he would have challenged her. It's just that they weren't close anymore, they barely spent any time together, so it wasn't his fault he hadn't said anything.
She grabbed her jacket and headed to the station, hoping that Gene wasn't in his office.
Unfortunately for Alex, he was. And the rest of the team were lounging on their desks, staring blankly at reports as if waiting for them to write themselves. When she walked in, all eyes shot to her; she kept her head down and quickly sat at her own desk, pulling off her jacket.
Gene appeared in the doorway of his office, glass of scotch in his hand. He looked at her for a moment before he spoke.
"Nice of you to grace us wiv yer presence, Drake." Alex started to speak but didn't get far into her excuse before Gene interrupted.
"Sorry Guv, I overslept-"
"Don't wanna 'ear it, love. Luckily fer you we've done all the hard work already this mornin'. Got a full confession outta Reynolds; blabbed on the other two soon as he realised his bollocks were on a choppin' board an' the Gene Genie was wieldin' a bloody great carvin' knife!"
Alex actually smiled slightly at that.
"Sounds messy, Guv." She replied quietly, while CID laughed. Gene was momentarily stunned; underneath the pale skin and tired eyes he could see a ghost of the old Alex, of his Bolly. Alex looked away after a few seconds, willing herself not to be blushing as she realised Gene had actually maintained eye contact with her.
As the rest of the office dissolved into chatter, Gene mentally shook himself.
"Alright, get back ter work the lot of yer. Get those reports done an' I'll let yer buy me a beer at Luigi's later!"
Eventually they settled down and Gene retreated into his office. Risking a glance out through the glass door he watched Alex sat at her desk, busy working. She seemed different today; more relaxed, happier. Although she still looked exhausted, drained... and Gene guessed she'd been crying. What could have made her so unhappy, yet make her smile at him for the first time in months? Gene had no idea, but he had missed that smile, that hint of his Bollyknickers he had glimpsed; she was still in there.
Alex could feel Gene's eyes on her, even across the room and through his office door. But for once she didn't mind; it didn't bother her, or worry her that James might notice. She surprised herself when she looked up from her report and into the lion's den. Gene tried to pretend he hadn't been staring, but Alex just smiled, returning to her work.
Thursday passed quickly, and it wasn't long before Chris and Ray were starting to fidget on their seats and then began flicking paper clips at each other. Shaz was doing her best to ignore them; determinedly continuing with her typing despite the stationery flying across her desk.
Sensing the team's restless attitude, Gene soon emerged and shooed them away to Luigi's. Alex was still busy writing so he left her to finish off, hoping she would join them over the road when she was done, despite not having the guts to ask her himself.
Looking up when the double doors swung shut, Alex couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that Gene had simply left without so much as a word. Pushing her doubts aside, however, she packed her things away, slipped on her white leather jacket and left the station.
As she paused on the steps leading down to the trattoria, Alex tried not to let her nerves get the better of her. She had made a decision; she was going to talk to Gene, tonight. She knew she couldn't let it go on any longer, and in order to make it stop, she needed to reach out to him.
Taking a deep breath and pushing the door open, Alex prayed that he wouldn't reject her. She needed him.
She could feel the teams' eyes on her as she walked slowly over to their usual tables. It had been a while since she had spent the evening here with them; most of the time James would drag her straight upstairs... and he would often join them afterwards for a few drinks, but Alex never did.
Tonight was different though; James wasn't here to tell her what to do. Shaz and Chris smiled warmly as she approached them. Ray nodded at her briefly before resuming conversation with some of the other lads, leaving Alex unsure as to what she should do.
"Bottle of yer house rubbish Luigi!"
Alex turned as Gene called out to the friendly Italian. He was sat at his usual table in the corner. She glanced briefly down at the empty seat opposite him, and then back up at his face. Gene pushed the chair out with his foot, inviting her to join him. Alex accepted; a small smile tugging at her lips again.
Luigi bustled over with a bottle of red wine and exclaimed when he saw Alex and Gene sitting together.
"Aah signorina! It is so lovely to see you here; it has been too long! I bring you some champagne – on the house!" And he disappeared and then returned with a bottle of Bollinger before she had the chance to argue. Alex thanked Luigi while Gene popped the cork, pouring generous measures into two glasses.
As Luigi finally retreated to the kitchen, a big smile on his face, Gene held out a glass to Alex.
"Bolly?" He asked. Alex could have burst into tears right then; just that word on his lips meant so much, and whether he was talking about the champagne or not, she didn't care.
"Yes." Alex smiled, taking the glass from him, her fingers brushing against his as she did so.
Feeling suddenly embarrassed, she dropped her eyes, before taking a swig of alcohol. She figured she needed a little to help with the courage. They drank their first glasses in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. When Gene poured their second, Alex sipped it more slowly, thinking about how she was going to bring up the subject of James.
"So did Magson leave last night or this mornin'?" Gene asked, invading her thoughts suddenly.
"This morning." She replied quietly, trying not to think about last night. She closed her eyes tight for a moment, forcing the images away. Her hands were trembling slightly so she rested her champagne glass on the table. Gene looked concerned.
"You alright, love?" Alex nodded, dragging her gaze up to his face and attempting a smile. Her courage vanishing fast, she slid her half full glass away from the edge of the table and got shakily to her feet. Gene stood up too.
"Yer sure you're alright Alex?" She nodded again, aware of the tears starting in her eyes.
"I'm fine, it's nothing, just don't feel that well, I'll see you tomorrow, Gene." He followed, not convinced at all.
"Well, at least let me walk yer up." Gene didn't wait for her reply before heading up the stairs after her.
Alex fumbled with the door key, managing at last to get inside. Gene closed the door behind him.
"Cheer up, love. He'll be back on Monday." She brushed a tear quickly away.
"I know." Alex responded softly, although she didn't sound any happier.
"Yer not worried he's gonna cheat on ya are yer? Cos he migh' be a tosser but he wouldn't do tha' to yer, sure he wouldn't." Gene looked uncomfortable as he spoke, but he was unsure what exactly was upsetting her so therefore had no idea what to say to help.
"Seems like yer can't get enough of him either so-"
"What?" Alex asked, a lump building in her throat.
"Well I'm just sayin' don't do it at the station next time and then yer won't get any interruptions."
Alex failed to suppress a sob, her hands over her mouth as the pain threatened to come spilling out.
"I think you should go, Guv. I'm just gonna go to bed." She said after a moment, turning away from him.
"Yeah course, need to catch up on yer beauty sleep, recover from all tha' shaggin', I get it." Alex wiped the tears away quickly, not turning round.
"No, that's not it." She whispered. Gene took a step closer.
"No its fine I get it, love; Magson said you were insatiable." Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to start streaming down her face at any moment. She shook her head.
"S'pect he'll give yer a good seein' to when he gets back." At this, Alex broke down, unable to hold it inside any longer. Gut-renching sobs ripped through her body as she burst into tears. Gene ran to her side, realising too late the effect of his words.
"Oh God, Alex, love, I'm so sorry, its okay..." He wrapped his arms around her shaking form, hating himself for hurting her. "Bols, what's wrong sweetheart?" Gene turned her round to face him, letting her bury her face in his shoulder. His arms around her, he stroked her hair soothingly.
Alex didn't answer, merely sobbing into his chest. Her earlier determination to tell him the truth had left her completely; she was starting to doubt herself, and him, and she was scared of what James would do when he found out.
She shook her head frantically against Gene's neck as he continued to ask what was wrong. After a minute Alex straightened up, moving backwards away from him.
"I'm sorry." She told him, wiping away the moisture on her cheeks. "Just don't feel that good; I'm gonna go to bed..." Alex stumbled slightly as she stepped back again, reaching out for the bedroom doorframe for support. Gene caught her as her legs threatened to give way.
"Okay Bols, let's get you into bed, eh." He helped her through the door and over to her bed. With shaking hands, Alex managed to pull off her jacket, dropping it to the floor before sinking down onto the bed and removing her boots. Gene stood watching her and, catching sight of the dark bruise on her neck, spoke up;
"Thought they would 'ave gone by now," Alex looked up at him, puzzled. "The bruises. The one on yer neck looks pretty nasty still." He elaborated. Alex tucked her hair nervously behind her ear, turning away, tugging at her collar, trying unsuccessfully to hide the mark from view.
"It's fine." She mumbled, moving away.
Suddenly Gene began to understand. His stomach clenched painfully, feeling as though he had just swallowed a handful of icecubes.
"Alex..." He reached out, laying a hand softly on her shoulder. His fingers brushed against her skin as he tugged the collar away from her neck, looking at the dark bruising more closely.
She tried to pull away as Gene exhaled loudly, shocked at how bad it was.
"Alex did... did James do this? Please, tell me." Alex bit her lip, not saying anything.
"It's nothing." She told him after a moment, moving away. Gene grabbed her arm to stop her, desperate to know what had happened. Alex moaned in pain and he let go quickly, not wanting to hurt her more than she clearly had been already.
"Are there more? Did he do it?" She looked at the floor, her arms wrapped across her front. "Alex, please, just talk ter me." The concerned tone forced her to meet his gaze. "Whatever's happened, whatever's wrong, I can sort it out, yer just have ter tell me what it is sweetheart."
Alex didn't look away but she didn't speak either. Gene could sense her reluctance.
"Bols I know things 'ave been... difficult. I know I've been a total bastard to yer, and I am so sorry. But whatever's wrong, if yer tell me then I can sort it out, I promise. You know you can trust me, don't yer?" Still she appeared unsure. He sighed as he realised.
"You can trust me Alex. I never should have treated you the way I 'ave been, all those months since Operation Rose, I am so sorry Bolly, so sorry. I've missed yer so much, want to make it right."
Slowly, Alex nodded. Gene felt so relieved; she didn't hate him.
"I just want ter help, sweetheart. Need you ter talk to me, tell me what's wrong." Alex moved again, this time shaking her head, more tears starting in her eyes.
"I can't." She whispered.
"Why not, love?" Alex simply shook her head once more. "Those bruises..." She looked down, her arms tight around herself. "Was it James? Alex, please."
At last, she nodded briefly.
"Show me."
She withdrew as Gene stepped nearer to her.
"Show me, Alex... please."
Alex slowly pulled up her shirt sleeve, exposing the bruise on her arm.
"Oh God..." Gene's fingers held her wrist loosely as he stared in shock. "Alex..."
Pulling her arm from his hold she drew up the left side of her shirt, revealing first the scar from the bullet wound and then, above that, more purple bruising across her lower ribs.
"Oh sweetheart... Alex. God I am gonna kill tha' bastard..." Gene tried to control the anger suddenly rising within him; he was beyond livid with Magson, but he was also furious with himself for not realising, for letting that scumbag treat Alex like a punching bag. God knows what else he had done to her.
"So sorry Bols, so, so sorry. Should have done something, should have realised what he was doing. So sorry Alex, so sorry..." Gene pulled her into his arms, doing his best to comfort her. "Its okay sweetheart, I'm not gonna let 'im hurt you anymore, promise, its okay, its okay..."
Alex wrapped her arms around his neck, crying into his shirt. Gene stroked her hair, whispering to her, trying to reassure her. He bent his head down to hers; the sound of Alex in pain was the worse thing Gene had ever experienced.
She clung to him desperately, telling herself that he would protect her and look after her. Slowly Alex's tears subsided and she disentangled herself from Gene's embrace, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Her face was flushed and stained with tears and faded makeup. After a few seconds Gene sat beside her. He swallowed, dreading what he was about to ask her, but knew he had to; he needed to hear it from her.
"Alex... how long has... this been goin' on?" She looked down and when she spoke her voice was quiet.
"Just... a few weeks."
"A few weeks?! Since when?" Alex hesitated before answering.
"After the Simmons case." Gene paled, clenching his fists angrily.
"That sick bastard... after what 'appened on tha' bloody case! Wha' tha' scumbag Simmons did to yer an' then he just... God, Alex I am so sorry... tha' bastard!"
"I guess he... thought people wouldn't notice..."
"Well he was right, wasn't he?! I should 'ave realised, I should 'ave seen what he was doing, I should 'ave-"
"It's not your fault, Gene." Alex said.
"It is my fault fer not stoppin' it Bols; should never 'ave let tha' bastard near yer."
"It's my fault, should have said something..." She trailed off and Gene responded at once.
"No, no, it is not your fault Bolly. Don't even think tha', not fer one second; you're not ter blame for any of this, okay? Alex?" At last she nodded in agreement. They sat side by side on Alex's bed. After a moment, she slipped her hand between Gene's; he squeezed back warmly.
As she shuffled closer and rested her head on his shoulder, Gene thought over what she had told him. This had been going on for weeks, a lot of it under his bloody roof or right above his head and he hadn't noticed anything. No, that's not entirely true, he realised; he had had his suspicions about Magson... but he would never have imagined he would dare do anything like this. Besides, what difference did it make? Gene hadn't challenged him, or asked Alex if she was okay. Maybe if he had gone with his gut, with his heart, then this wouldn't have happened...
Gene lifted his arm, draping it loosely round Alex's shoulders, securing her against his side. He thought back to all the times he had seen her with Magson; those occasions when she had seemed upset or shaken. That bastard always had his hands all over her... and now it was clear to Gene that not once had Alex looked like she had enjoyed it.
Suddenly the image of last night reappeared in front of his eyes. Magson's behaviour had changed when Gene had pushed open the doors, as if one second earlier he hadn't been kissing her... Alex had been surprised, but also embarrassed at being caught by her boss. But what if it was more than that? His left hand gripped the bedcovers angrily as he realised that she had been scared... scared about what Magson had been about to do, before Gene had interrupted them.
Gene's stomach dropped. And then he had made that sarky comment about James giving her a good seeing to. Bloody hell, no wonder she had lost it! He had almost completely traumatised her. God, he would never forgive himself.
Although, a voice in his head argued, Alex seemed to have forgiven him, judging by the way she was looking to him for comfort and protection. Gene vowed in that moment to do everything in his power to keep her safe, and the make sure that sick bastard got what he deserved for hurting her.
Alex shifted against his side, her eyes closed, her breathing calm. She looked more relaxed now, but Gene knew they had to get everything out in the open tonight, it would be worse if he left it until morning. Hating himself for making her talk about it, Gene prepared to ask more difficult questions.
"Alex, love?" She opened her eyes slowly and sat up once more, meeting his nervous gaze. Her hand never left his as he continued.
"The first time he... Can ya tell me what 'appened?" Alex appeared to be psyching herself up.
"We were watching TV," She began, her voice threatening to waver but she pushed on, knowing she needed to say it, and Gene needed to hear it. "He... James, he... started touching me, kissing me, I... I don't know I just pulled away, I couldn't stop thinking about..." The colour rose in her cheeks as she trailed off.
"About what Alex?"
"You." She met his eyes as she spoke, then looked quickly away when Gene just stared in silence back at her. "Anyway, James got angry. I tried to get away but he... he grabbed my arm and... he just hit me. He was just pissed off or something, I don't know..."
Gene managed not to let his own anger show as he tried not to imagine what had probably happened next.
"An' yesterday... at the station..." He went on, not wanting to hear her say what he knew was coming.
"James was angry about Craig Reynolds getting off. He said we should-" Alex corrected herself. "-I said we should interview him again, but when... when we let him go... James was annoyed. I was there, he thought... he thought it was my fault..." Gene paled as he listened to her words.
"That was my fault." He said, his self-hatred growing once more. "If I 'ad listened ter you in the first place about Reynolds, then I wouldn't have sent 'im home when you wanted ter talk to him. If I'd let you ask him some more questions... then Magson wouldn't have... That bastard."
"He didn't do anything-"
"No, but he was bloody well going to! And in the middle of the station too, what a scumbag. At least he didn't get the chance ter..." Alex's gaze dropped down into her lap.
"Oh god, he... Alex, tell me he didn't..?" Still she looked away.
"Alex, love, need you ter tell me if he-" He broke off as she nodded quickly, a tear trailing down her cheek, followed by another, and another.
"Oh sweetheart... Come 'ere." Gene pulled her into his arms again; he hated making her cry but he knew that she needed to be honest with him, and he needed to understand. Once her breathing returned to normal and the tears had subsided, Gene held her as Alex talked.
She told him about all the times James had hit her, and made her do things she really didn't want to, and done things to her that hurt and scared her. She told him how a few times she had thought about telling someone; Shaz or him... but she'd been too terrified of what James would do to her when he found out. That wasn't the only reason but Alex had exhausted herself – physically and emotionally – by this point, and Gene sensed she had been pushed enough about everything she had been through.
He simply held her against his chest as she cried the last of her tears. When she had composed herself, Gene helped her up. Alex's face was damp; her makeup smudged, her eyes red, her cheeks flushed and her hair a mess.
"You should 'ave a shower, love; make yer feel better. Then you should get ter bed, get some sleep." Alex nodded, Gene's hands on her shoulders as he guided her over to the bathroom door. "Take yer time; I'll be right out 'ere, okay Bols?" Again she nodded, stepping onto the cool tile floor as he switched on the light for her.
Gene sat back down on the bed as Alex pushed the bathroom door to. It stopped against the jamb. His stare was fixed on the beam of light stretching out over the carpet from the gap. As the sounds of the shower started, Gene tried not to think about Alex a few feet away taking her clothes off. He tried very hard, but unfortunately not hard enough. The thought of Bolly in the next room – with not even a closed door between them – was almost more than Gene could take.
But then he remembered the bruises, the marks on her skin, evidence of what that bastard Magson had done to her, and Gene felt sick. His beautiful, perfect Alex... and that man had hurt her. He had treated her like a common whore; an object, something to take out his feelings of anger, frustration and lust on. God, what that bastard must have put her through.
A few minutes later she emerged, her skin and hair damp, a towel wrapped around her body. Gene looked up as she walked slowly over to him; he thought she looked gorgeous. Alex blushed as he sat there, staring at her. She tugged self-consciously at the towel, hugging the material to her, feeling exposed and vulnerable under Gene's gaze. There were more bruises on her thighs; Alex did her best to hide them but she knew he had noticed. His eyes on her body, she felt embarrassed, knowing he was shocked and disgusted by what he saw. Whatever had or ever could have been between them was undoubtedly over, Alex thought. James had made sure of that. There was no way Gene could possibly want her anymore... that's if he ever had.
"You don't have to stay, I'll be fine." She said, holding his attention as she spoke. Gene looked slightly hurt. "Sorry to be so-"
"I'm not goin' anywhere Alex. Don't wan' you ter push me away." Alex was surprised by the hint of sadness in his voice.
"But, I thought..." She trailed off, unsure what to say.
"I promised Bols; I'm not goin' anywhere."
"I thought... I thought you wouldn't... you wouldn't want-"
"Want what Bols? Want to stay? Want to help? Cos I do want both of those things. And if yer thought I wouldn't... wouldn't want you cos of what... tha' bastard did, you're wrong. Still the most gorgeous thing on two legs; nothing's gonna change that." Alex felt her heart skip. Gene stood up.
"Should have told yer. That night, in me office... I wanted ter kiss you. Should have bloody done it, then maybe all this wouldn't 'ave 'appened. Regretted it every day since then. And the way I treated you; don't deserve you, Alex. But I do want you, have from the minute I saw you, dressed like the classiest an' most beautiful prozzie I've ever 'ad the pleasure of meeting; and the Gene Genie 'as met a lot of prozzies."
Despite her tears, Alex laughed. He stepped forward until they were almost touching. Slowly, Gene raised a hand to her face, his fingers gently grazing her skin, brushing the droplets away. Her heart racing, her eyes never leaving his, she lifted her hand to mirror the gesture. Gene exhaled as her soft, damp fingers caressed his stubbly cheek.
"Gene..." She whispered as he leant closer. With her bare feet, he was a good two inches taller than her; Gene bent his head, stopping only when his lips almost met hers. He paused, waiting; wanting her to close the remaining distance between them. After what felt like an eternity, she did.
Alex crashed her lips onto his, her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. Gene poured everything into that kiss, desperate to show her just how much she meant to him, how sorry he was, and how he would do anything in his power to protect her.
She pulled away only to secure the towel around her again, it being the only thing saving her modesty.
"I want to start again, with us... with everything." Alex spoke up, her voice the steadiest it had been all evening.
"Want that too." Gene told her. "You an' me, Bolly." Alex nodded. "But fer now, it's time fer bed Bollyknickers. Some of us 'ave got work tomorrow."
"Yes, Guv." She answered with a smile.
"Good. Now get some knickers on an' get into bed an' I'll get yer some water, an' then if yer lucky the Gene Genie will read you a bedtime story. Now 'op it!"
As Alex retrieved her nightshirt from under her pillow, Gene pulled the door to and went to sort out a glass of water for her. Knocking lightly a minute later, he gingerly pushed the door open. He was relieved to see Alex tucked up in bed, her eyes closed. Gene left the water on the night-stand and perched on the edge of the bed, stroking Alex's hair soothingly. Standing up he pulled the red sheets up over her exposed shoulder and pressed a kiss against her temple before quietly retreating, leaving her to sleep.
Collapsing on the sofa and running a hand over his tired eyes, Gene attempted to process everything that had happened that evening. After a few seconds, however, the thought got too much, so he flicked on the tele, catching the end of the news.
Soon his eyelids began to droop, the long and emotionally-draining day catching up with him. At least Alex was safe though; Magson wasn't anywhere near her and he was gonna have to climb over Gene's dead body to get to her again. And even then the Guv knew Chris and Ray would have to hold Shaz back from punching the bastard's teeth down his throat. He would pay for everything he had done to her... to Bolly... to his Alex...
