A/N: In case you wish to have an easy laugh, you can go to my profile, find the link that very clearly states DOOM Troll I've put up, and chuckle at my impending doom. :D That is all.
David looked at the two demon spawns posing as adolescent males in front of him. "That's not just a bad idea, but a nominee for the Guinness Book of World Records of Bad Ideas."
"It's a great idea!"
"Not happening." He stood, gathered his books, and made the most dignified attempt at fleeing he could manage.
Which wasn't much, seeing as how aforementioned demon spawns followed his heels like small terriers, ready to bite into him at any moment.
"David, come on. It's a fantastic plan."
"It's too soon," he threw over his shoulder as he walked aimlessly, simply trying to out-walk them, since running would be too obvious.
"You've practically been living together since Valentine's Day. Next excuse." Wes was smug. David didn't have to look back to see that smug grin that was glued to Asian Demon Spawn's face.
"He's not ready for it."
"Well, it's not like you're the type to jump into sex anyway."
David stopped so fast that Asian Demon Spawn and Hobbit Demon Spawn thumped solidly into his back. He spun around, looking from one face to the next, mouth gaping open, closing, opening against, but he could only sputter.
"Oh, look, you made him blush. That's so cute!" Blaine leaned his head against Wes' shoulder, a smile beaming at how adorable he found his poor victim.
Who was so not going there with these two.
Without a word, said victim spun, continued walking, and rubbed at his forehead, trying to remember how he had gotten into this mess to begin with. He had just wanted to study, honestly. Kurt had been called for emergency-rainbow-care-bear-time with New Direction's lead singer, apologizing repeatedly and sincerely to David that he would have to miss out on their usual couple of hours they spent studying.
Not that it was formally their couple of hours, or anything. It was strictly for schoolwork. After all, Kurt's grades were improving due to David's ability to explain the complex formulas of math, along with the complex amalgamation that was history, and make it stick in Kurt's brain. Kurt's teachers were thrilled, Kurt's parents were thrilled, David was thrilled—that wasn't said. Forget that.
David had just smiled and asked if Kurt needed a ride, but after Kurt was gone, the room seemed too quiet. Even when Kurt was reading silently, he still made noise. Or perhaps it was just that David could almost hear him thinking, with that constant buzz as the pale boy sorted new information for his advanced physics and chemistry courses at an astonishing rate. (Kurt had once told David that part of the reason he chose to transfer to Dalton was because McKinley hadn't challenged him, lacking any advanced courses, and here there were so many that he could pick and choose that he had heard college doors open up, with choirs from Harvard, Yale, Oxford singing in eight piece harmony with each new entrance.)
But then, with Kurt gone, the room had seemed dimmer, less vibrant, and so eerily quiet and still that David had meandered to the commons, plunked down among the sounds of pages turning and pencils tapping, and lost himself in the great inventions of the last five centuries.
That is, until two demons had crawled out from hell and descended—ascended?—upon the innocent student with manic intensity that rivaled Kurt on a 75% off sale of all Marc Jacobs. It was that frightening.
So here David was, trying to avoid conversing with two obviously insane adolescent males while they followed him with a tenacity that bordered on stalking. "Go away. I have studying to do."
"David, your GPA is the highest in the school by a long shot. Taking a half an hour to listen and agree to what we have to say will not affect that in the least." Wes was ever persistent and straightforward. Dammit.
"This would take more than a half hour. And even if it didn't, I'd still be closed to discussing it. Because it's terrible."
"It's just a song!"
David glared at Hobbit Demon Spawn over his shoulder. "You of all people should know what songs mean to Kurt, Blaine."
He told himself not to feel guilty at the wince, but this proved impossible.
"I get that I messed up. I get it. And I've apologized to everyone-all the Warblers, to you, Kurt. Especially Kurt. I've apologized so much, Kurt told me to shut my mouth and eat my breakfast yesterday. So can we please move on and forget that I was idiot? Please?"
David had to sigh and relent. "Yeah, alright, man."
"Thank you." Blaine let out a deep breath. "Now, let's get back to the real subject at hand."
"I'm still not singing."
"Listen, David. After all of his past screw-ups with guys, he's not going to make the first move. So you'll have to if you want any chance with him."
"We're just friends, okay?"
"'Just friends' do not want into each other's pants." David couldn't help but look back to see Wes arching one brow in a very... Wes-like manner.
"We don't—wait, what?" It clicked in that they hadn't singled him out in that sentence.
"Dude, you don't seriously think you're alone in your man-crush...right?" Blaine looked from David to Wes, Wes to David... back to Wes... his face smothered with horror. "He actually thinks he's all by himself! Unbelievable!"
"Leave me alone." David sulked—sulked—and walked away.
"Aww, David, don't be like that! It's not really your fault! He's worried that you'll find out, so of course he'd try to hide it around you!"
The tallest Musketeer/Warbler sighed, stopped, and turned around for what he swore would be the final time. "Blaine. Wes. I realize you're my partners in crime, my dynamic duo in disaster, the Goofy and Donald to my Mickey—"
"Hey! I'm Mickey!" Blaine cried in outrage.
David arched a brow, but continued on as if he hadn't heard anything. "I also realize that you want to see me happy, and I get that you think setting me up with Kurt would turn the world puppies and rainbows around here. But I honestly can't handle you two turning into Jeff and James. Kurt can't handle you turning into Jeff and James. Jeff and James can't handle you turning into Jeff and James!" He took a deep breath. "So thank you. I really do appreciate it. But I'm not singing a song from Rent, of all things, during Warblers, to try to catch his attention."
The hell-pair looked a him for a long time, as if trying to decide if he was actually serious or not. When the set position of his jaw finally got through to them that he was truly, honestly, completely serious, Blaine sighed first and looked at Wes.
"Well, Wesley, we have to concede this one. He's got his don't mess with me or I will spin-kick you into next week look." He turned to David. "Fine. You win. This time."
David grinned and patted Blaine's shoulder. "You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel any better."
The pair watched David walk down the hallway, partially waiting for him to realize he was going the wrong way to get to their dorm, and partially waiting for him to get out of earshot.
"Are we really tabling this?" Wed asked.
Blaine snorted. "Hell no. Now let's go. We have work to do, people to convince, and about a dozen or so rolls of confetti ribbon to order. Oh, and I heard that there's thing called a confetti cannon, and then we have to get a..."
