A/N: I was a little iffy about this one.
I am a bit distracted, have a lot goin' on in my life atm.
I had to force myself through this chapter.
Hope you enjoy it though. Forgive all typo's I didn't see, please. Hugs!
Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.
"Screaming on the inside Chapter 7: Into The Nothing
I am frail and withered
Cover up the wounds
That I cant hide
Walls that lie between us
The saint within the sinner
I have lost the nerve
But it's all right
Carry the wounded and shut your eyes
All will be forgiven
None will rise
Bury the fallen and lead the blind
I will fight the loss
Dead inside"
I took a break from McGinty's for a few days. Doc had sent me flowers and a note that said he didn't wanna see me until a week later. So I had made the best of the time. I had started healing up nice, my black eye was just a lingering weird yellow bruise. Everyday it seemed lighter and lighter. Went to the local high school and took my big tests. Like I had predicted, I passed and now I officially a graduate. Mom had been happy and had promised to take me out to celebrate when the tour brought her to Boston. I would be happy to see her. I missed her.
But right now, I locked the apartment behind me and headed to 'work'. I had settled for comfortable tonight. Worn in jeans with the knees worn out, an old tight gray tee shirt and the old faithful boots. My hair was braided off to one side and I hadn't bothered with much makeup. The sky was glowing with the city lights, wasn't so bad here at 9pm. I kept my eyes peeled as I walked across streets and didn't relax until I seen the neon lights. I walked in casually and made my way straight to the bar, ducking under the corner and Shaun's smile greeted me. He gave me a friendly hug and grunted when Doc shoved him out of the way.
"Get yer own gal!" He chuckled as he kissed my cheek and squeezed me around the middle. His eyes studied me, pushing his glasses up. "Boys told me ye had quite a scare." I smiled and shrugged, patting his shoulder.
"I'm fine. Just a lil bump on the head. Fit for duty though." I grinned and picked up a tray of dirty glasses. "I'll start gettin these washed. Be back in a bit." My eyes looked around, busy as usual. Some of the usual's took a moment to welcome me back, I thanked them and pushed the flap doors open so I could get to the small kitchen area. I set the tray down and ran some water then added a generous amount of soap. I kept at this pace for quite a while, time had flown by. When the glasses were all washed and dried, I carried them a tray at time back to Doc. People had thinning out and I frowned. It was only 1 am. That's odd.
I came up behind Doc to grab the broom on his other side, but he help up his hand and nodded towards the door. "Howa bout ye call it an early night, lass?" His voice seemed to waver and I looked around again, before turning my back to the patrons and dropping my voice.
"Everythin' alright Doc?" I grabbed his hand and squeezed, he seemed shifty. The old man huffed and motioned to Shaun.
"Aye, it's f-f-fine girl. Just need ya outta here. Got some...company comin' in. Want ye ta be gone by t'en. SHIT! Unsavory sort tey are." My stomach flopped at the look on his face. He was worried, maybe even scared. Before I could argue with him, I heard the familiar voices of my boys behind me as they greeted everyone. Doc seen them too, but grabbed both of my arms and corralling me to the counter. "Don't ye worry yer pretty lil face girl. It'll be fine. This s-sorta t'ing happens. Gonna have Shaun get ye to your door."
I stomped my foot and gave him a mean look. "Damnit Doc, you're scaring me! What's goin' on?" My outburst did not fall on deaf ears, Doc flinched. I was ready to grab onto something and hang onto it, but I heard Connor behind me.
"C'mon Amelia." The usual tones of warmth and kindness were barely noticeable. I whipped my head around to see both the brothers standing there, faces devoid of emotion. I sighed, knowing I had been outweighed. I gritted my teeth and looked back at Doc. I was scared. I'd heard the rumors floating around. Hard not to when you work in a pub. Local gangs and mobs were moving in on the area trying to gain control of small businesses. I knew Doc had been approached but he'd told me they didn't get much in word wise with him.
"I mean it Doc, you better be careful." I said, ducking under the counter. When I stood up straight, the boys and him were waiting for Shaun to hurry up and pull his jacket on. I looked at Murphy and he gave me a sympathetic smile. I huffed and pulled him away. "What the fuck's goin on Murphy?" I hissed. The man shared a look with Connor, and whatever it had meant..Connor wasn't happy about it.
"Jus' business. We're stayin ta make sure it stays civil." Murphy whispered, serious look still on his face. What the hell? I felt aggravated and pissed. I was worried and I had to leave. I didn't want to be wrapped up in anything illegal but I knew if something happened to any of them, I wanted to be here.
"Does this have anythin' to do with the rumors goin around...the Russians or somethin?" I didn't need an answer, Connor's face told me everything I had needed to know. "Damnit!" I growled and felt panicked. I grabbed their hands and pulled them into me for a hug. "Be careful, please. Let me know what happens." I paused and pulled away. Shaun tapped my shoulder and gently grabbed my arm. I let him drag me away, calling behind me. "Call me!"
I grumbled as Shaun wrapped his arm around my shoulders. We got five steps out the door when he stiffened. "What's wrong?" I asked, then I seen it. Three huge guys in suits walking towards us. I too felt my stomach drop. With a quick scan, I knew they were packing heat.
"That's them." Shaun set his eyes straight ahead, and I did my best to do the same. As they went to pass beside us, my eyes caught the middle one's. The moment slowed down and I felt dirty. His black eyes seemed to pierce me and I shivered. For a moment in time I felt like I could reach out and chip all the dirt and filth from his soul. I felt tension build in my body and I shivered. I heart my heart beat quickening and I was numb. Then thunder. I jumped, an unexplained fear gripping me and I stopped walking.
Shaun stopped for a second, then tugged me forward. "What te hell?" He hissed, trying to get me to my Dad's apartment. I felt myself moving forward and blinked.
"Thunder, scared me." I said low, fighting the urge to run the rest of the way home. The tall blonde Irishman kept a tight grip on me as we rounded the corner. One block away now.
"T'ere wasn't any thunder, Amelia." I blinked and furrowed my eye brows. I wanted to argue with him, but the look on his face warned me otherwise. His eyes were scanning our surroundings as he pulled me along. We didn't speak any more. When we got to the ground level door, Shaun motioned for me to go on up. I hugged him bye and went inside. I didn't stop until I was at the apartment door. I dug around in my pocket and pulled out the key ring. My hands were shaking. What the hell was wrong with me?
When the key slid into the lock and I twisted it, I nearly stumbled inside. I forgot my Dad was home. I quieted my efforts and locked the door behind me. I slid the chain over on the slide lock then took a step backwards. I just stared at the metal door and felt my heart rate slowly adjusting back to normal.
"Melia?" My Dad's voice startled me as I jumped and dropped my keys. He smiled until he seen the tears prickling my eyes. He was in his pajama's and his thinning hair was sticking up in odd places. "What's wrong?" He asked as he walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. "Why're ye shaking?" I'm still shaking? I wanted to say what I had seen, why I was scared. But, words got strangled in my throat and I just cried. Dad went to guide me to my room but I ducked from his arms, walking into the kitchen to dig out the .380. "Wha' the bloody hell ye need t'at fer?" He asked, suddenly wide awake.
"Peace of mind." I choked, letting him take me to my room. He flipped the light on and I sat down. I leaned over and set the gun beside my alarm clock on my bedside table. He eyed it and grabbed my hand.
"What happened? Someone grab ye or somethin?" The protective father came out quick and I shook my head, throwing my hands up.
"No Dad, I'm fine...it's just I am worried about Doc and the boys." I sniffled and used the collar of my shirt to wipe my face. "I went to work, then at 1, Doc said I needed to leave. Somethin' about business comin' in. Didn't want me around." I bit my lip and continued wiping my eyes while Dad processed the information. To my horror, he didn't seem surprised. "Why are you not worried right now?" I yelled, he scratched his head. "Dad?!"
Dad looked weary as he wiped his palms on his pajama pants. I stared at him, did he know something about this? Anger started to flare in me and before I exploded, he finally spoke.
"It's Boston. Te Russians, Italians, Mexicans...ye name it. At any given point tey are tryin to get dominance of te area. Mobs wars, really. McGinty's is Irish territory. This is Irish territory. But it's a dangerous game. Doc's being targeted as an opportunity. He poses a threat to te rival gangs because he's been 'round a long time." My jaw was going to fall off. Fear and anxiety laced itself through me. Dad continued. "Te boys are the neighborhood do gooders. Tey will keep Doc safe." His face softened and he sighed, standing. I was incredulous.
"What about them? And how the hell do you know all this?" I too stood, angry and scared. Dad went still but then snapped out of it, shrugging me off.
"I have been ere for a while. I've learnt where to and not ta stick my nose. Like you, I have had friends ta watch out fer me." The tone in his voice had changed and I felt unsure about my life for a moment. Fresh tears brimmed my eyes.
"Doc seemed so worried Dad. He's afraid. Murphy and Connor...what if they get hurt?" I covered my face and sat back down. I felt sick with the thought of losing these friends of mine. They were unlike anyone else. Close and safe. They made me feel like I mattered and I was important to them. They trusted me, and I more than trusted them. I needed them. The sobs shook me bone deep. Warm arms wrapped me up and I burried my face into my Dad's shoulder. I hadn't done this since I was a child. He cradled me and said his best to comfort me.
"Te boys are more than whats seen. Amelia, tey will be fine. Just relax and try ta rest. I promise, it'll be okay." Dad kissed my forehead and I forced myself to take a deep breath.
"I hope so." I croaked. Dad gave me a sad smile and one last kiss before he stood and went to grab the gun. "No, that stays in here." My voice wavered and he didn't bother turning around, he just left it there and walked out. The door was open and I listened to him walk across the wooden floor...then his door shut. I slumped on my bed and decided I didn't want to think anymore tonight.
When I woke up, I rolled over and grabbed my phone. No missed calls. Worry hit me and I dialed Doc's home number. After a few rings he answered.
"Ello?" He asked. I sighed, relieved.
"Hey Doc, it's Amelia. Everythin' alright?" I stretched before throwing my legs over the side of my bed. Id left my shirt on from the night before, so I just slid my feet into my jeans where I'd left them last night.
"Aye, everyt'ing is alright. Went t-ta about as expected." I stood and pulled the denim up and fastened it.
"As expected?" I put him on speaker phone while I threw my hair in a messy bun on top of my head.
"Well, ta bar has seen better days and 'mfraid my wine rack got destroyed. FUCK! Was t'ere till bout an hour ago moppin up spirits." He didn't sound as upset as I would have, but I was worried. That feeling from last night hitting me like a sledge hammer.
"What happened? Are the boys okay?" I realized I sounded a little frantic, but then Doc laughed. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, only these Irish bastards would laugh at a time like this.
"They're fine, Amelia. Tey took outa FUCK! ASS! Trash for me, is all."
"The trash?" I snorted sarcastically and sighed. "Are they working today?"
There was a weird noise on his end and he made that sound he makes when holding back an out burst. "Aye, should be home." Then I got a bright idea. They pop in on me, I'm about to pop in on them.
"Can you give me their address Doc?" I scrambled around and found an old napkin and a pen.
"Well, I don't t'ink they would wanta be SHIT..." He took a breath. "Maybe ye should wait girl." I sighed and pressed the pen to the paper.
"Give up the goods old man, they get to pop in on me at any given time. S'only fair." I stated. I thought maybe he wouldn't give it to me, but he did. I scribbled it down and thanked him. Also told him to call me when he went back to the pub and I'd help him clean up. When I ended the call, I threw my boots on and grabbed my wallet. It was a little after 7, Dad was already gone for work. I scribbled a note on the counter just in case he came home on his lunch. I opened the front door and could feel it was cooler outside.
I ran back to my room and threw on my button up jacket. I bought it last week, it was a cream color. I liked the knitted sweater look and the big polished wooden buttons. When I went to walk out, I seen the gun still on my table. Should I? Nah, I shook my head and shut my bedroom door. I locked the apartment up and headed to the address that was given. After spending half an our asking people walking by where Stold St was, I finally found it.
It was a huge building, obviously falling apart. I wrinkled my nose at the trash bags piled up and the smell. Oh my god, putrid was right fitting. Floor 5? This building was inhabitable! I took a deep breath and walked through a door which led me to a wide space. My eyes looked around at all the water stains and I seen the old school open elevator. I didn't see any stairs so I stepped in and pulled the grating down. I punched the old yellowed button for five and felt the death trap come to life. I shivered.
Then the ride was over, I slide the grating up and stepped into a door less room. It was large and open, white walls and red carpet. The cement block walls were chipped and the paint was peeling off. It smelled old. I swallowed and took a step in.
"Hello?" I called. Then I seen them, they were sitting on mattresses on the floor, talking. Their heads shot up and looked to me. I felt my heart sink. Sure enough, more bruises and cuts were scattered on them. Connor was the first to stand, eyeing me as if I had grown a second head.
"What ta hell are ye doin ere?" He asked. I stopped walking and just decided to hover in front of the door way. "And how'd ye find us?" I shrugged and took a good look at them both. They were in matching robes, tackier than all get out, boxers and their boots. Who the hell walks around their apartment in a robe, boxers and boots? Obviously the Macmanus brothers. Murphy stayed where he was, also seeming to be aggravated.
"Uh, I don't know... maybe is was the fact I never got a phone call to lemme know y'all were okay?" My voice raised a little higher than intended. "And fuck you, I know shit." Connor's eyes narrowed and he wanted to say something before Murphy cut him off.
"Bhí sí buartha go díreach, deartháir. Calma síos.(She was just worried brother, calm down.)" Murphy stood and gave me a little nod. I don't know what that meant, but it seemed to dampen Connor's lecture.
"Tá a fhios agam sin! Ach, ní raibh muid a fháil am a ghlanadh suas.(I know that! But we didn't get time to clean up.)" The dark blonde brother sighed and shook his head, looking at me before finally smiling. I gave him a small nod and walked in. "Forgive te place, we're hardly ever 'ere." He looked sheepish, but not ashamed.
"You're a single guy, well, you're both single guys." I paused, "I've seen worse." Murphy stopped walking towards his brother and he gave me an odd look.
"So ye've seen many bachelor's apartments? D'int take ye for the lady of the night." He was joking, but I could see the question there. I blushed and rolled my eyes.
"No! But I have seen worse." I walked up to the pair as they lit a cigarette and I threw my arms around them. They made a little noise and quickly recovered from my sudden impulse to hug them. The fear I had last night returned then faded to just being grateful they were okay. Damn these two. I felt like a clingy girlfriend...no...mother hen. I sighed and sniffled, refusing to let go until I could get a grip on myself. When I did pull away, they looked rather happy considering the situation.
"Sorry te make ye worry, Amelia." Connor gave in and touched my face. I nodded and smiled, wiping my eyes. Murphy went to speak but a loud banging sound scared us all. I whirled around and my heart stopped. The guy from last night was looking at us, he had another big guy with him too. Then the most important factor cause my eyes, they both had guns.
"You mother fuckers!" The first one said as they ran in. Before I could even scream Connor and Murphy pushed me behind them. I fell over and felt my heart beating erratically. They had guns, usually that meant someone was going to get shot. I wanted to move but I was frozen in terror.
"Amelia, RUN!" I heard Murphy shouting, trying to get to me but the guy with a gauze around his head hit him. I felt myself go numb with horror. The other guy had a gun to Connors head. I was crying, wondering why this was happening.
"GET OUT AMELIA!" Connor screamed. I felt that like a bolt of electricity, and I began scrambling. When I found my feet, I took off towards the door. I was feet away when a large hand grabbed the back of my sweater. I screamed, trying to pull away. But an arm wrapped around my throat. I turned my head and seen the dark eyes that had scared me the night before. Deep, filthy, evil. I was scratching, screaming for help.
"CONNOR! MURPHY!" I cried, kicking and flailing. The guy who had a hold of me, clearly Russian by his accent hollered over to Connor...who was handcuffed to the toilet. I felt the cool metal against my temple, it made a shiver run down my spine. This was all happening too quickly. My mind hasn't caught up yet. My eyes found Murphy, he too was at gun point. His eyes locked onto mine. Panic filled me.
"I was going to kill you, but instead, I will kill your brother." The man shouted from behind me, his breath running down my neck. "But this one here, we will have much fun, no?" I blinked and tried pulling his arm away, but it was stone. Murphy came to life again, cussing and looking back at Connor.
"Fuck you! It was jus'a bar fight, fucking pussies!"
Connor was crying, trying to break loose of the handcuffs. His face was bloody where the guy holding me had got a good one on him. "MURPHY! AMELIA!" He was screaming. I felt the grip tighten and he was almost cutting off my air. They took us into the elevator, shutting it. My heart was pounding and I couldn't stop crying. Murphy was so still and quiet. How could he be so calm? We were going to die! I was going to be raped! I choked on a breath and tried again to fight, but the man chuckled.
"Keep fighting, Amelia...it makes me hard." I shuddered and I hated myself for not bringing that fucking gun.
"Whatever happens, don't scream." Murphy said to me, before the other guy hit him with the pistol. I growled and kicked, managing to nail the guy in the thigh. He grunted and gave my captor an angry look.
"Hold the bitch, would you?" He rubbed his leg and Murphy gave me a look, between pride and warning. I swallowed and tried to calm myself down. They walked us outside and around the building. Time again seemed to slow down and I watched as Murphy was forced to his knees beside the dumpster. The guy which held me shoved me into the other guy as he grabbed my hair. "Hey Ivan, what do I do with her?" He asked, grinning at me while I shook.
"Hold her still, she's going to see her boyfriend die." Ivan, the dark eyes mother fucker rested the barrel of his pistol on Murphy's forehead. "I hope your conscience is clear Irishman."
"NO! MURPHY!" Panic broke out of me and I pulled, kicked and scratched the Russian who had me. "STOP! PLEASE!" I begged, crying. I can't lose him! I need him! I kept trying to move forward. Shoot me, I don't care, not him. Not them. The realization hit me hard and I kept screaming. My arms were restrained, then I was knocked to my knees. Another gun barrel was touching my temple but I didn't care. I met Murphy's eyes and it took my breath away. Resolution. I shook my head. No! Don't you fucking give up. "Please, God.." I choked out.
Then God answered, well Connor did. Suddenly there was a loud crash and I was rendered motionless. Ivan was on the ground, surrounded by toilet pieces. I blinked and felt the guy behind me let me go. I immediately scrambled to my feet and got to Murphy. Seconds later two gun shots rang out from behind me and I turned to look. Connor was on the ground next to him. "How the?" I asked, but Murphy was already in action. He was running to his brother. I watched as the dark haired brother checked his twin's pulse.
"He's alive, pick up the guns!" Murphy barked. I nodded and began picking up the guns then put them in an old shopping bag that had been in the trash. Murphy picked up the un shattered lid to the back of their toilet. I stopped long enough to watch him hit the other Russian in the head a few times. I would have felt bad for him, had he not just been holding me captive. "C'mon!" Murphy hissed. I nodded, heart pounding in my chest. He picked Connor up, throwing him over his shoulders.
I'm not sure when I had went into shock, but I remember feeling calm the longer I ran behind Murphy. I watched Connor's unconscious face, looked at the blood that was dripping from his wrists around the cuffs. Tears were still leaking down my cheeks, but I couldn't speak. When my lungs felt as if they were on fire, Murphy kicked open a set of double doors and I followed inside. It was a hospital. Nuns were standing there, looking on in shock.
"Sisters, can ye help us? We ran inta a spot o' trouble." Murphy wheezed out. They crossed themselves and told us to follow. I held onto the bag. It was a small task and I could do it. When they crowded us into a room, Murphy laid Connor on the bed. One of the Sister's ran to get a doctor. I just stood quiet, shaking. I blinked and felt fresh tears sting my sensitive eye lids.
"Amelia?" Murphy asked. I jumped, realizing I had zoned out. He grabbed me, leveling his face with mine. I swallowed. His face softened and he cupped my face in his hands. "I need you to call Doc and get him here to St. Agathas, alrigh'? Tellem not to hurry." I wanted to answer, but the shock was wearing off. He seemed to take note of this and he nodded, gently he felt around my pockets and found my cell phone. "Stay here with Connor, I'll be righ' back." I watched him walk out. Shaking over took me, I needed to sit down. I looked for a chair, but didn't see one. I leaned against the wall.
Connor was still out of it, the Sister who remained here seemed to be praying. I tried to steady my breathing. I focused on the words she spoke. My heart beat kept interrupting her soft words. I blinked and heard the ringing start in my ears. I must have groaned or made a noise because she wrapped it up and looked at me. I felt my knees give and I hit the floor. The Sister was pretty, piercing green eyes. She was speaking but I no longer heard her words. The ringing was too loud. It had started to hurt. I covered my ears and screamed.
The world went black.
I heard the roar of thunder.
**Breaking Benjamin - Into The Nothing**
