Chapter 6: What's wrong with me?

"Can't believe it, I'm not myself. Suddenly I'm thinking about no one else.

You make me...Stutter."

- 'Stutter' by Maroon 5


Remember when I said that I wasn't madly crushing on Sodapop? Well, I lied.

That kiss. Whenever I think of it, I feel myself blush. I couldn't wait to see him again. I couldn't wait to kiss him again.

Damn it, Liz! Stop thinking about him. But I couldn't. His perfect face, smooth hair, captivating eyes.

I almost bumped into a wall while walking to class. I know I'm a bit clumsy, but I don't do this. What's wrong with me? I wasn't myself, and Anne seemed to notice.

"You okay? Did you not have enough sleep or something?" she asks.

I shake my head. I then begin to tell her about Soda, the date, and the kiss. I felt like I had to tell someone or I would explode.

She laughs, "Aw, little Lizzy's got a crush!".

My eyes widen. "Shh!" I lean close and whisper, "Don't tell anyone."

She shakes her head, "Elizabeth Dorsey is under the 'Soda spell'. But it was predictable." Now that was new.

I look at her, "The what?"

"When Soda use to be in high school, you could imagine a bunch of girls liked him. I mean with his charm and good looks what's not to like?"

"Please don't tell me he's one of those good looking guys that turns out to be just a player."

"Naw, he's really sweet and kind. Believe it or not, he even asked me out and I was so stupid and said no."

My mouth makes an 'O' and she laughs. "Now you got yourself a keeper, Liz. Good luck." She winks and walks into her class.

And all day I thought about him. I got in trouble in three classes for daydreaming. And guess who the dreams where about? Sodapop Curtis. Man, I think I'm losing my mind.


Ponyboy and I were walking out of school. We were talking about the upcoming county assessment, when who other than Sodapop shows up in his Ford.

My eyes widened and I gasped a little when I saw him. Did I look pretty? I hope I look pretty. I probably don't look pretty. I swear, I thought I was going to die!

He gets out of the car and walks towards us. His walk is perfect. Liz! no one gives a fuck about how people walk! I thought.

People are staring at him as he walks by. A couple girls look at me enviously. Did I ever mention I don't really like being the center of attention?

Soda is grinning that perfect grin and I know he's about to say something. I'm afraid that if I hear his angelic voice, I'm not going to handle it too well.

"Hey Ponyboy, Liz."

Ponyboy smiles, "Hey what are you doing here?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I got off work early and decided to give you guys a lift." He then looks at me. "Unless you guys don't want one."

I feel a bit alarmed. It took me a while to find my voice. "S-Sure. Thanks, Soda. I-I just gotta pick up m-my brother." Damn, what's wrong with me? I sound like my mom when she's drunk and sad.

He smiles. "Liz?", I hear a voice say. I turn around and see Anne holding my book in one hand and carrying a bag in the other. Perfect timing. "You forgot your book in English...again."

She hands me the book and I take it from her. "Thanks."

She then looks at Soda, " Well if it isn't the middle Curtis himself. I never thought I'd see you here." She was a natural. I wish I could talk to him like that; sounding all confident. I feel hopeless.

Soda chuckles, "Nice seeing you too, Anne. I was just picking up Ponyboy and Liz." He then looks at me and I blush.

"Oh, okay", she says while eying me. Oh no...

"It's funny because Liz and I were just talking about you." I had a feeling she was going to do this.

Now Soda was smirking. He was probably happy that he was the topic of our conversation. "Is this true?" he asks me.

I too aw-struck by him to speak. I just nodded.

"Yup. It was really amusing to me. She said that yo-" Before she could continue, I elbowed her in the stomach and gave her the 'shut your mouth' look. Maybe I shouldn't have told her.

She smiles back at me, "Never mind, Curtis. I gotta go. Bye guys." She walks around the corner and out sight. Anne knew what she did, and she did it on purpose. That girl is going to pay.

"Well, that was weird," Ponyboy says. I almost forgot he was there. I almost forgot about

Johnny...Johnny!

I look at my watch, 2:15. He should be out right now. "Let's go," I say.

We get into Soda's car. I'm sitting in the passenger's seat and Pony's sitting in the back. Soda's driving and my windows open. I feel sore so I lean back in my seat and stick my right arm out the window. The wind glides along my arm and tiny hairs stand up as I feel the December chill.

That was one thing that was the same, the wind. It's constantly there wherever you go. Unless you stay in your house forever. Sure, the wind wasn't as cool as in Montgomery; but still.

The boys didn't seem to mind. I touch my own finger tips and close my eyes for a while.

I felt some-one's warm hand on mine. It was Soda's. His fingers wrap around mine. His hand was big compared to mine. They felt strong, yet gentle. I glance at him and, ironically, he's looking at me.

I quickly look away and remove my hand from his touch. "Y-You should keep your eyes on the road," I say, still looking down, "With b-both hands on the steering wheel too." Oh shit, I was stuttering again.

"Okay." From the corner of my eye, I could see his focus was now turned to the road. I hope we're close to Johnny's school. I can't stand another minute with Sodapop.

It's not that I dislike him. It's just...whenever I'm around him, I don't feel like myself. I can't keep up my guard too well. He somehow makes me think about nothing else but him. I don't want to end up like mom.

Damn, why does he have to be so perfect?


I'm sitting on the couch of the Curtis home. I'm in Sodapop's house. How did I get here? But then I remember.

Johnny really wanted to hang out with Ponyboy today. He whined and begged and I couldn't say no. Ponyboy and Johnny were upstairs. Soda was in the kitchen getting a couple of drinks. I took off my jacket, leaving parts of my arms bare.

"Darry's still at work.", he says. He came back into the living room with two bottles of coke in his hands. He takes off the cap with a bottle opener and hands one to me.

I take it from his hands and have a tiny sip. It makes me shiver a little though.

"What's this?" Soda asks while touching my back. His fingertips gliding on a scar. I cringe at his touch.

"I fell," I lie. I'm a horrible liar though. I always thought of myself as an open book, people can see right through me.

Soda seems to know that I'm lying. "Seriously, Liz."

I sigh. What's the use? "Well if you have to know, they're marks from years ago. I got them from my dad."

His eyes widened a little. "What happened?"

I shrug, "Before my dad left, he had problems with alcohol. Whenever he was drunk and I did something stupid, he would hit me with his belt."

"You say it like it doesn't matter."

I sigh again. I guess people expect me to be emotionally scarred for life. But it wasn't my dad's beating that still haunted me, it was his leaving.

"Well it's doesn't. It happened a long time ago. The past is the past."

"You said scars. There are more than one?" he asks.

I nod. "You wanna see them?" Whoa. What kind of person asks others if they want to see their bruises?

"Sure"

I turn my back to him and pull up my shirt. I never got to see what they look like, but I knew that there were lots of them.

I could feel his hands gliding along my back. I could tell he was trying to be gentle. "Wow," he whispered.

"Yeah," was all I could think of saying.

I couldn't say much. It was hard trying to sound interesting. My life isn't interesting. But I had a wonderful feeling that Soda was going to change that.


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