NA/ dear people who reviewed: thank you! XD I love each of you no matter if you like the story or not. I just want to know what you think. I do want to let you know though that I am trying on the grammar...comments such as "check your grammar before posting" are a bit hurtful when I spent what feels like ages doing just that... I did tell you I was dyslexic at the end of the first chapter. I'm sorry for the mistakes but I really want to do this story without a beta. I feel like I'm getting better at writing and I just want to see how I can do on my own. Give a demigod a chance to improve. ;) I would love if you could point out the mistakes...copy and paste them into a review or message if you feel like it. I'd appreciate it.

Song for this chapter is the party song by Emery, the chapter name is part of the lyrics. (parts of it are pretty perfect for this chapter.)

Jace's song is This is a Call by Thousand foot Krutch. The second verse is perfect for him. (Thanks Kaydan. :)
"He fights
so you won't ignore him,
because that's his biggest fear,
and he cries,
but you'll rarely see him do it.
He loves, but he's scared to use it.
So he hides behind the music, 'cause he likes it that way.
He knows,
He's so much more than worthless,
he needs to find the surface,
because he's starting to get nervous now."

Clary was surprised to find that she was having a good time. All around her kids were talking, laughing and dancing (many of them at least a little drunk) this was not her kind of party but she needed a change. It was nice to pretend she belonged here. The house was huge...they were standing in what she supposed must be a ballroom. A ballroom. Jace had a ballroom in his house. And yet he was working his way through med school...at an ice-cream shop? What was up with that? She really wanted to ask but it seemed like a pretty rude question.

Mia took a sip of her beer and made a face before taking another sip.
Jordan laughed. "Give it up. You know you don't have to finish that."

"I can do it."

"I know you can. Now stop before you make yourself sick."

"Fine." she sighed holding the bottle out to her boyfriend.

"No more for me." he said firmly. "One is it. I'm not going there again." They had dated a few years ago and back then Jorden had had a drinking problem to put it lightly. He had been trying to deal with his father's death but it had not made him a good boyfriend.

"I trust you." she said knowing he was making a big show of just one for her benefit. He had been doing this every time he so much as took a sip for the past three months.
He smiled lovingly at her. It had taken a long time to earn her trust back this much and he didn't blame her, he wasn't about to blow it.
"Thanks babe, give it to Clary."

"I-..." she had been about to say "I don't drink." but...she didn't feel like being all mature right now...

"Clary doesn't drink." Mia said giving her friend a worried look.

"Yeah I do." She took the bottle.

Mia really didn't think this was a good idea. She looked around and saw Simon dancing awkwardly with Isabelle.
"I'll be right back." she gave Jordan a quick kiss on the cheek whispering, "Watch her." Jordan nodded. He didn't know what was going on...but Mia didn't seem happy about it...he wasn't about to risk her getting mad at him.

"Clary maybe you shouldnt...?" he suggested as Mia hurried away. Clary seemed upset and he knew all to well that drinking wasn't going to help her. "What's wrong? You can't drink it away."

"Maybe you should mind your own business. You of all people." she saw a brief look of hurt cross his face and immediately felt bad. She knew he didn't know why she was acting like this. He was just trying to be a good friend..."I-I'm...sorry." she shoved the bottle back at him and hurried away.

Isabelle and Simon were talking to Jace when Mia got over them.

"Rat boy can't dance in case you didn't know." Jace said when he saw Mia.
"Don't call him that!" both girls snapped.

"Your fine Si." Isabelle whispered patting his arm. Mia shook her head, those two seemed to be getting close fast. Not that it was any of her business, but she would have to make a point to pull Isabelle aside and explain what would happen if she hurt Simon. Let's just say she would mostly likely be better off angering a werewolf. No one messed with Mia's friends.

"Simon I need to talk to you."

"I'm a little busy right now..."

"It's about Clary." she whispered but Jace overheard, at the sound of Clary's name Mia suddenly had the full attention of both boys, Isabelle saw something in Jace's face and knew this Clary girl was different. She shot him a look then turned her attention to Mia also.

"Excuse me." she snarled at Jace, not even noticing that Isabelle was listening too "I was talking to Simon."

"Look bitch I know you hate me but I brought her here. If something happened... You have to tell me." how he could manage to say something like that still sound as if he didn't care was beyond any of the others standing there. He had to fight to keep his voice cool and uncaring though. He was getting mad at himself, he shouldn't be feeling like this. He needed to do something to stop this before it was too late.

Mia gave him a death glare and fought the urge to slap his perfect golden face so hard it wouldn't be perfect again for a long time.

Isabelle looked at her brother. She knew him, he never cared about anyone...sometimes she wondered if that part of him had been permanently damaged from being hurt too often. She remembered a conversation she'd had with Sarah about a year after she and Jace had moved in with them.

...
"Your brother is an asswhole!"

"Believe me I know. Don't say that word though."

"Yes mommy." a 13 year old Isabelle rolled her eyes.

"Sorry force of habit."

"How come you're so nice - if deathly boring- and Jace is so...Jace?" at 13 Isabelle had said anything that crossed her mind. As she had gotten older she had gotten better and keeping her thoughts to her self (almost too good) but she had ways told Sarah just what she was thinking. She knew Sarah would hate what she had become...but the girl would remind her it was never too late to change. Isabelle mentally shook herself.

"He... Izz if I trust you with this..."
"I won't tell."
The two girls were close, closer than sisters. As close as Alec and Jace. Even though Isabelle was two years younger than her she had trusted the girl with everything.
"Ever since he was little...when dad took him...and left...I don't even quite know what happen in those 3 years Izz, he won't even talk about it. I think dad...I think he..." she closed her eyes. "He was trying to make Jace stronger...love...he thought love was weak...when mom got sick...they came back. Jace was different. Dad was trying to break him Izz. Take away all the good parts."

"He didn't though...Jace is an ass but..."

"I know." they heard Max squeal "Faster Jace!" followed by Jace's laugh.

"I know. And Max is probably one of the best things that ever happened to him... He's so much like Jace was before...but it's like a part of him is damaged...if anything ever happens to me Izz..."

Isabelle mentally shook shook her self again. Focus girl! Sarah had asked her look after Jace and she would do her best. Sarah had known she wouldn't live long. She never knew how she had known she just had. Isabelle had to do what she could keep Jace safe.

...

"Something happened? What happened? If its your fault..." Simon glared at Jace but his voice was panicky.

"Shut up both of you!" Mia glared at them menacingly. Even Jace had to admit he was scared of that girl.

"Where is she?" Simon asked.

"Over there with Jordan." but when they looked where Mia pointed they saw only Jordan. He was headed toward them looking concerned and hurt.

Mia was worried about Clary but she was also worried about Jordan. He had that look he got when he was feeling bad about the way he had treated her before. She kept telling him to forget it but he couldn't seem to.

"What happened?"

"She...ummm she ran away from me."

"Where'd she go?"

"That way." he pointed.

"Chill Simon. I'll help you look." Isabelle soothed. She didn't know what was going on but she wanted to help. Simon looked like he was on the verge of completely flipping out.

"You will?"

She nodded "Of course."

"Thanks."

Mia had been whispering quietly with Jordan trying to find out why he looked so hurt. She turned back to tell the others why she was worried.

"She wanted to drink. She never drinks. She shouldn't drink now right? It would be bad for her?" she looked at Jace. For once the ass whole might be useful.

"She didn't start treatment yet. It would be no more bad for her than any of the rest of us."

"But if shes just doing it just to ...she doesn't drink. I don't think..." she kept trailing of not quite sure how to say what she meant.

Jace rolled his eyes. The girl wanted to forget her worries for a while. Let her. He of all people couldn't blame her. Come to think of it...a few beers would hit the spot right about now. He needed something to take his mind off what day it was and he had already tried "hooking up" with several of the girls Izzy had invited...they were all sluts. Normally it wouldn't bother him but for some reason he couldn't help but compare them to Clary. It made him sick to think about "doing it" with girls like that. It was a shame, it really was. If he ever needed the distraction it was now, and yet he couldn't bring himself to get near enough those girl to talk to them for more than 60 seconds...anything more he felt sure he would vomit.

Clary headed over to a dark corner of the room. She needed to pull herself together. So much for having a good time. All she wanted was one little beer. Just once. Was that too much to ask?

She quickly swiped at a tear that was running down her cheek.

"Umm, hey." a voice said aw karky. There was someone else hiding in the coroner. Great. Just great. Then she realized it was Alec. That made it a bit better for some reason.

"Sorry I didn't know this hiding place was taken."

"How'd you know I was hiding?"

"Well...why else would you be standing in the corner by yourself?"

"Maybe I like standing in the corner by myself." he suggested.

"Hmmm...maybe." she smiled. "In that case I'll go find by own corner."

"Nah. It's fine. I'll share my corner just this once." Alec hated parties. He hated talking to people he didn't like. That didn't mean he didn't wish he wasn't quite so alone at parties. He told Magnus to go have fun. He enjoyed watching his boyfriend in his element but he himself would be happy with just one friend to talk to. Normally he would kick people out of his hiding places -that is if they didn't leave on their own which they always did. But Clary seemed like she might be worth talking to.

"Thanks." shit she was still on the verge of tears though. She brushed at another of the stupid things wishing she could stop them.

"ummm...you okay?"

"Yeah fine. Sorry. I'll just...go..."

"No. It's fine. Stay."

"I'm not really in a party mood anymore..."

"I never am yet they make me come anyway."

"Who?"

"Izzy...Magnus...Jace...basically everyone."

"Someone should force Jace to to go to a party sometime and see how he likes it!"

"My thoughts exactly."

"Jace would like that just fine actually." said the person in question sounding more then slightly amused.

They both turned to glare at him.

"This might cheer you up a bit." he held a beer out to her.

"You don't think it will kill me?" she asked bitterly. "Not that it matters all that much."

Alec questioningly raised an eyebrow at Jace.

"Mia needs to mind her own business." Jace replied ignoring Alec.
"Come on, let's go."

"Go where?" Clary and Alec both asked.
Alec's voice was warning and Clary's was unsure. Jace wished someone would give him a little credit. Geez they were acting like he was a murderer or something! He was just trying to give Clary a chance to let go. She needed to have some fun.

"Jace can I talk to you for a sec?" Alec asked timidly but there was a note of firmness in his voice.

Jace thought about saying no...instead he said "Apparently you can, being that you are." Alec looked flustered and Clary felt bad for him. She punched Jace's arm. Ouch! This girl was definitely stronger then she looked. Alec glared at him and Jace knew he'd have to talk to his brother before going anywhere.

"Yeah fine." Alec all but dragged Jace a little ways away so that they could talk without Clary over hearing. Leaving Clary standing there looking lost.

"The asshat abandon you?" someone asked from behind her.

She turned to see Magnus smirking down at her.

"Yeah, not that I care but I can't seem to find any of my friends at the moment..."

Magnus didn't know what was going but he could tell Alec was trying to talk some sence into Jace. When would he learn? It wasn't possible. He'd need to check on Alec latter, the boy got so worried about his siblings it made Magnus worry about him. But right now there was nothing he could do about it.

"Well would you like to dance?"

She looked around at the dancing people it reminded her of the Pandaemonium, a club she sometimes forced Simon to take her too. He hated it but she didn't want to go alone and it was fun to get away from real life for a bit.

"Sure I guess."

That was all he needed. Alec would never dance with him unless it was slow boring dancing (though with Alec even that was more than okay with him) and he loved twirling people to the music...whether or not it was the sort of music people normally twirled to to was irrelevant.

She laughed as people stared at them then gave them space for fear of being trampled to death. How Jace's sister had found this many people to invite to a party was beyond her. She must have invited every person she met on the streets between the ages of 17 and 25 (which truly wasn't far from the truth).

...
I could see the worry burning in Alec's eyes and I kinda felt bad...but not bad enough to do anything about it...

"What the hell are are you doing Jace?" he all but growled at me. "Are you trying to get her drunk?!" I wasn't sure I'd ever seen Alec this mad. Had I not been me I would have been scared to death.

I wanted to hurt him...who was I kidding I wanted to hurt just about anyone right now. No wonder he was flipping out...it seemed he could always read my mind when that was the last thing in the world I wanted.

I would be fine though. I always was.

...

At last Magnus spun Clary back to where Jace was waiting. He wasn't jealous he knew Magnus loved Alec and Alec alone -other wise the gay sonic the hedgehog would be no more - but he was jealous when he saw that looks most of the guys were giving them...he was being stupid. They had just met. There was nothing between them...yet. What the hell was he think?! Yet?! No there wasn't again anything between them. Period. That's it. The end. But yet a tiny uncooperative part of his mind - the part that often seemed to talk in Sarah's voice - told him that he could change...he could try actually caring about a girl...but, he reminded that part of his brain caring meant getting hurt. Caring meant losing people you cared about. He'd had more than enough of that. But then he made a mistake, a mistake that would end up saving him...(although not tonight) mistake he would make over and over again; he looked at her and met her eyes.

He saw the fear hiding just beneath the surface. He knew she needed someone who could take mind off everything. Someone to help her through this.

"Please Jace?" Alec all but pleaded.

"Let me get this straight? You want me to leave a perfectly great party to go to your apartment and do nothing cuz you're worried I'm gonna do something stupid?"

"Pretty much. Yeah."

"No freaking way."

Alec couldn't explain why was so afraid for his brother...Jace had been like this plenty of times and always ended up in one piece...but this time something felt wrong...He only knew that it felt like someone was warning him... Asking him to look after their brother perhaps...he knew it would make him sound crazy it but he felt like Sarah was sending him a warning...but telling Jace that just flat out wasn't going to work.

Jace and Clary were sitting outside in a quiet corner of the garden. Clary had somehow managed to choke down one bottle of beer...God that stuff was nasty! But after one bottle it didn't seem so bad any more...maybe she had just needed to get used to it. She was feeling better now. She wasn't sure what Mia had been so worried about.

"Feeling better?"
"A bit. I just wish they wouldn't treat me like I'm...I don't know...like I'm dying..."

He didn't know why he did it...but she wanted to be treated like a normal girl...so he did the first thing that come to mind. He kissed her. She stared at him for a moment. She had just met him...she wanted to kiss him back more than anything in the world. But she knew she couldn't. She wouldn't be another of his toys. Mia and Simon had told her what he was like but she wasn't stupid. She wouldn't have figured it out for her self. She pulled away.

"No."
"No what?" no girl had ever rejected him before...it hurt. He wouldn't let himself admit it but he hadn't been planning on play his game with her...he really liked her...
"No you can't play with me. No you can't use me then throw me away like I never mattered. I might be sick Jace but I'm not stupid. I saw the way all those girls in there looked at you. I know you've probably slept with half of them."

Jace wanted to tell her that she was right. He was a horrible person. That she was different. That she could save him from being a horrible person. But he couldn't. He was too fucking prideful. Instead he shook his head and ruined everything. "You thought I wanted to play with you? In your dreams little girl. It was more like a make a wish thing. In case you do die I wanted you to have had one really good night."

She froze in shock. He did not just say that. There was no freaking way he just said that! But he had.
"I can't believe I trusted you! I cared that you seemed upset! I let you bring me here! I thought..."

Suddenly the reality of what he had just said hit him. He wanted nothing more than to apologize. He hadn't even realized what he was saying. God there was something wrong with him.
"Clary wait." he grabbed her arm as she turned away.

"What. What could you possibly have to say to me that I'd want to hear?" she snapped.

"I'm sorry Clary...I...just..."

"You're sorry?! You kiss me and tell me its like a make a wish thing! And you're sorry?! What the hell Jace?!"
She stared at him for a moment. He looked sorry...he looked near tears...she slapped him across the face. Hard. She laughed humorlessly at the shock on his face.
"The look on you face makes up for everything." She turned away and walked back toward the house.

Then she thought of something. "You know Jace if Simon and Mia find out your job will be hell. And if Ella finds out you lose your job."

"Clary I..."

"Save your breath. I'm not telling. It's not like it even matters. I'll probably forget about it by the end of the week. But just remember if you keep messing with girls like this I might tell."
She turned away again but looked at him one last time.

"I'm sorry Clary. I didn't mean it. Really I just..."

"Really Jace, save it. I'm over it. Watch how much I care." she turned on her heel and walked away with what she hoped was an air of cool calm confidence.

Remember reviews get you sneak peeks!

Please let me know what you think! Were you expecting this? lol I wasn't really planning on this happening...but as I was writing it just happened! How you like it? Is there anything you want to happen? Any songs you think I should use is future chapters? I take any and all suggestions under consideration so suggest things! XD