Sweats.

He never thought he would be so over the moon about fucking sweat pants but he was. If he could've leaped for he would have, when Kevin showed up with greasy food and sweats he almost forgot about the intense pain he was still having.

They had warned him that day three would be the worst and he had blown them all off proclaiming 'I got this', only for as the morning went on his pain level increased and he felt sick to his stomach.

He had even venture out of bed yesterday took a few laps around the nurses desk, albeit they were slow laps. He had felt almost human yesterday, today was a different story. It was why he had called Kevin just as the sun came up and begged him to visit. He was slowly losing his mind, Adam Ruzek didn't do still and quiet and there was only so much Law and Order one could watch.

"Thanks man." He gratefully took the sweats from Kevin, "I really appreciate this. I know it's early and you've been busy but I'm losing my mind." He pulled the cover back and attempted to pull the sweats on.

His thigh was wrapped in guard, a drain peeking out from the gauze a bulb at the end of it collecting the blood as the wound healed. He'd be cut from mid thigh down to his knee, the bullet had embedded in the muscle.

"Fuck!" Adam grunted when he found it impossible to put the pants on, he leaned back against the pillow and pressed his fingers into his eyes. He was frustrated, exhausted, and in immense pain.

"I will do it." Kevin jumped up and helped him out. He was a bit shocked to see Adam's injuries.

"Bet you never thought you'd be in my pants" Adam smirked, anything to find a bit of levity in what had been the most horrific event in his life. It wasn't his injuries that had him so upset, it was Kim.

The fact that Kim had been a hostage had nearly killed him, it was why he went against orders, he had to. He couldn't sit on his hands while Kim was at the mercy of thugs.

Kevin laughed, "That just sounds wrong man. Don't ever say that shit again, Ruzek. It ain't cool."

As they ate breakfast, or more appropriately as Kevin ate breakfast Adam looked pensive, "What is it man?" Kevin wiped his mouth, "You need to eat homie."

Adam picked at the bacon, "have you seen her?"

"Burgess?"

Adam nodded.

"I did. Just the other day. She came into the district to sign some paperwork. She's on medical leave. You haven't seen her?"

Adam curled his lip, "Nope." He pushed the tray away and tried to find a more comfortable position, his gut gurgling as he moved.

"Yo..you good?" Kevin stood up, the color from Adam's faced had drained. He looked gray and sweat beaded along his brow, "Adam?"

Adam's mouth watered and his stomach heaved, he tried to swallow the vomit as it hit his throat but it was impossible and before he knew he had spewed all over himself, even Kevin had been hit. As his stomach retched, his abdomen burned and the pain took his breath away.

"Shit." Kevin held his hands away from his body, "I will get a nurse." He'd barely finished his sentence when the alarms went off, he glanced back at Adam and watched as his buddy's eyes rolled back in his head and his body convulsed.

Kevin charged into the hallway, "Help! I need some help in here! Somethings wrong!"

Nicole quickly paid the driver and hurried up the steps, she hated that it had taken her so long to get home but between moving halfway across the country and getting Zoe settled it was hard to get away. She had reconnected with a high school sweetheart, things moved pretty fast but she was happier than she had been in years. Zoe loved Daniel, despite being a bit sad about the move initially she warmed up to the idea and was excited to have a new step sister.

Just as things trended upward for Nicole, it seemed Kim's life was the opposite.

Kevin had been the one to call her, he promised Nicole that he would look out for Kim until Nicole could get home.

She was finally home and anxious to see her sister and hug her neck.

She pounded on the door, "Kim!" She peaked in the window and was disturbed by the darkness, Kim hated a dark house.

Nicole scanned the porch and found the ceramic frog that Kim always kept a spare key in, she quickly flipped it over and opened the secret compartment and shook it until the key fell in her hand.

She had the door opened in a flash and was inside the air was heady and felt stale. The house was an absolute mess, papers littered the floor, baskets of laundry had been flipped. The throw pillows from the couch had been tossed aside, the coffee table had been flipped upside down.

Nicole's heart began to race.

Where the hell was Kim?

Kevin paced the length of the corridor, he had been pushed from the room and the door slammed shut in his face. He had stood just outside the window and watched as they worked on Adam, he wanted to scream when one of the nurses shut the blinds.

It had been nearly an hour and he knew nothing. He had begged for an update only for a nurse to shut him down, told him the doctors were working on Adam.

The elevator doors opened and Kevin whipped his head around at the sound of his name, Bob Ruzek was fast approaching him.

"Hey Pops" Kevin pulled him into a bear hug, "He was fine." He let go of Bob, "Talking. He even laughed a little bit, he was fine."

"Clearly He wasn't fine, Kevin. What happened?"

"He called me earlier this morning, asked me to bring him some clothes and grab some food." Kevin explained, "We were eating, talking. Next thing I know the color drains from his face and he's puking. Like really puking. Exorcist level puking, I went to get a nurse but before I was even out the door I heard this weird sound and I looked back and it was Adam. He was having a seizure, his eyes rolled back in his head.."

"Fuck"Bob sighed. "What did they say was going on?"

"Nothing. They've told me nothing." Kevin hunched over in the chair burying his head in hands.

"They'll tell me." Bob jumped up, "let's go find someone and figure out what's going on with my boy."

Nicole had searched everywhere for her sister, and was seconds away from calling the police when she heard the muffled cries. She went further into Kim's room and into the attached bathroom and through to the large walk in closet.

"Kim?" Nicole found her sitting on the floor in the corner of the closet, held tightly in her arms was sweatshirt, "Honey.."

"I'm a bitch." Kim cried, "I'm such a bitch."

Nicole squeezed in beside her, "No you're not. Why would you say that?" She was shocked she had even understood what Kim had said. She was crying hysterically, her face red and blotchy, tears poured from her eyes. Her entire body shook with each breath she took, she was inconsolable.

"Yes. Yes I am." Kim turned to face her sister, "I hurt him. I continued to hurt him. He didn't deserve it, he deserved so much more than I could give him..that I would give him. He loved me, Nicole. He loved me so much and I treated him like shit. I broke his heart and then kept stomping on it."

"Oh, Kim." Nicole tried to hug her, only for Kim to jump up and race from the closet, "Kim, come back."

"No! I've got to get out of here, I need to get away from here." She slipped the sweatshirt on and grabbed her keys from the nightstand beside her bed, "I need to go."

Nicole followed her, "Okay, I will go to. We can grab some lunch."

Kim stopped on a dime, "No. I need to be alone. Just let me be alone." She couldn't stand to be in her own skin. The guilt of it all was suffocating, it was hard to come to terms with the fact that Adam wasn't the one who had ruined their relationship.

She was.

She had placed all of the blame at Adam's feet, when she was the one who played head games. She had set him up to fail, she had told him she wanted more to time to plan their wedding, to get it right. She told him she wanted to push the date back, why wouldn't he agree?

She lacked the common decency, she allowed him to find out about her relationship with Roman in an open court room. Even after Adam had done everything he could to help prove her innocence.

He wasn't perfect, but he had loved her.

She rejected him.

He ran from intelligence when she was promoted and that hurt, it hurt a lot. She was angry at first, thought he was a coward.

Then she found that picture hidden in the desk drawers, the desk that had been his. It made her heart ache, it was that day the first seeds of doubt had been planted. That perhaps Adam wasn't as unwilling to marry her as she had thought, or as other people had thought.

He came home and they kissed and spent some time together, their relationship was slowly returning to where it used to be. Then shit hit the fan and before she knew it and when the dust settled they had tried again. Only for her to push him away, he'd come back around and she'd pull him back in.

She continued to play with his head, and when he had enough he told her it was too complicated that perhaps they should remain friends.

She angrily swiped the tears away as they fell, her vision clouded by them. She was driving without a destination, she was running away.

Running away from everything.

Running away from everyone.

The only person she couldn't run away from herself, but dammit she was going to try.

Kevin had never seen such terror on a person's face, neither one of them had expected this outcome.

Bob had followed the doctor upstairs and Kevin was left to handle the notifications.

"My boy Doc, is he going to be okay?" Bob held on to Adam's foot, "he's going to come out of this, okay isn't he?"

Dr. Mathison pursed his lips before answering, questions like Bob's weren't his favorite in fact he loathed them. He had learned that it was impossible to predict, that shit could go sideways in the blink of an eye.

Just like it had this morning.

" , I can't answer that, not the way you'd like me to anyway. Adam is sick, vey sick. He's battling a serious infection and while we are always prepared for infection after a surgery like Adam's we never know if it will set in. Or the severity of it. Adam quickly became critical, the seizure was the result of the sudden onset of a fever a high one at that. We checked the wound on his abdomen and it looks good. His leg is another story, it's in pretty bad shape. We have already started him on an antibiotic, we need to go back in and clean it up. The incision opened up, some tissue has died, so we want to do a debridement and hopefully that'll take care of it. We are prepping an operating room now, and his orthopedist is on his way in. We will know a lot more once we get upstairs."

"Okay." Bob folded his arms across his chest, "Worst case? I need to hear it."

"Worst case? Death. Just like every other surgery. In Adam's case he could lose the significant tissue around the incision and made need skin grafts and multiple surgeries. Loss of limb is always a concern as well. There are a lot of variables that could play out, lets take it a day at a time. One step at a time, okay?"

"Fair enough."

Kevin felt she deserved a face to face, while Halstead, Olinsky, and Voight could handle hearing the news over the phone he knew Kim couldn't it. She was already blaming herself for Adam's predicament, this news would push her over the edge.

Nicole yanked the door open, "Kevin!"

"Hey Nicole. I need to talk to Kim. Can I come in?"

Nicole stepped aside, "Of course. She's not here though, she left. I'm worried about her."

Kevin sighed and looked skyward, "Where is she?"

"Don't know. She's upset. She was in the closet when I got her. Crying her eyes out holding Adam's sweatshirt."

"I will call her." Kevin waited for the call to go through, only to hear Kim's phone ringing from it's spot on the couch, "Shit."

"What's wrong? Is it Adam?"

Kevin slipped his phone in his pocket, "Adam's being rushed back in to surgery, he's had a seizure. He's critical. I think Kim should know, she should be there."