Chastity Belt

A/N: I AM SO SORRY! And yes, the bold font, all caps and six exclamation points were needed to convey just how absolutely apologetic I am. I promised a swift update last time, but I am a terrible liar who lies. I shall no longer make promises that I can't keep. Please accept the longer than usual update below as an apology.

And a bunch of hugs and kisses to all of you who continue to support this story and its promise-breaking author (I feel so guilty). Thank you guys so very much and please enjoy this chapter ;D


"Dobe, get your ass down from there before you fall," Sasuke snapped at his goofball of a teammate. Said goofball was currently on the 'sight-seeing ' stage of a rather peculiar return ritual that involved climbing a pole, surveying the village and then scurrying down to eat ramen whilst harassing his teammates into paying for him. As such was the eccentric life of Uzumaki Naruto.

"Careful now Sasuke," Kakashi intoned, his only visible eye crinkling in amusement, "You actually sound like you care about the knuckle head."

Sasuke scoffed at his mentor, denying the existence of his epic bromance with the blonde for the umpteenth time. To prove that he most certainly did not care for the village idiot, the scowling Uchiha gave a swift kick to the pole, jostling Naruto from his perch. The orange clad ninja landed ungracefully on his ass and immediately began to complain loudly, only to be quelled by Sasuke's offer of Ichiraku's. Thus the bromance was back on course for the time being.

"First Sakura-chan, then ramen," the blonde declared. The fact that the noodle obsessed boy was willing to put Sakura before his ramen consumption was a great sign of maturity in Yamato's eyes. Now if only they could get Sasuke to dislodge that pole from his ass and have Sai halt his penis jokes, then maybe Team Seven could redeem their reputation. Yamato was resigned to the fact that there was no saving his sempai's reputation. Kakashi is, and would forever be, a perpetually postponed pervert.

So the merry band of misfits followed the hyperactive ninja as he tracked down their missing piece. As luck would have it, the pinkette and her bodyguard were already at the ramen shop. The two were so engaged in conversation that they failed to note the posse's approach until Naruto made his usual obnoxious entrance.

"Saku-chaaaannn! Miss me?"

"Not in the slightest," she deadpanned as she attempted to wiggle out of his clingy embrace. Undeterred by her blatant rejection, Naruto merely tightened his bear hug all the more causing his captive to resort to her brute strength so as to pry him off. Besides the flustered girl, Itachi chuckled as the defeated boy finally slumped into the stool next to the feisty kunoichi. Taking their cues from Naruto, the rest began to sit as well, with Sasuke breaking away from the others to sidle up to his much worshipped older brother.

"Aren't you supposed to protect me from crazy hooligans?" Sakura huffed at her babysitter, shooting the sheepish Naruto a half-hearted glare.

"My apologies," the ravenette intoned with humor, "I didn't realize that you needed my protection."

Sakura blushed slightly, grumbling under her breath as the memory of what her monstrous strength did to Shisui went unsaid. The Uchiha prodigy was right of course. Sakura Haruno was a grown ass woman who could solve her own damn problems.


From the instant they arrived to see Sakura and Itachi together at Team Seven's favorite food joint, the silver haired sensei suspected that something was not quite right.

Kakashi wasn't nearly as engrossed in his Icha Icha book as he pretended to be. No. The copy-nin was distracted from his usual reading by the interactions of his cute little pink haired student and one Uchiha Itachi. For starters, the two nin were sitting rather close; too close in the eyes of Kakashi.

The leader of Team Seven narrowed his lone visible eye in suspicion as the pinkette giggled cutely at something the older Uchiha said. From his personal experience with Uchihas, he knew they were not generally funny or social people. Yet here the Uchiha prodigy sat, smirking and bantering with the young kunoichi which brings Kakashi to question why the clan heir seemed so inclined to entertain his student. At the sight of his pupil's light blush, Kakashi's eyes narrowed further as an uncomfortable theory began to form in his head.

Glancing to the rest of his team, Kakashi couldn't help but to note that Yamato and Sai had begun to catch on as well. Unfortunately, Sasuke looked up to his brother too much to suspect anything amiss. As usual, Naruto was clueless despite him being the earliest to predict something like this happening. Already preparing for the worst, Kakashi realized that the boys would need to be brought up to speed soon. If what he suspected was true, they would need a strong united front.

"So Itachi-kun," the copy-nin began in a deceivingly harmless manner, "I hear you've got a birthday coming up soon. You'll be how old again? 28? 29? 30?"

"25," the nin corrected politely, already aware of the man's agenda.

"That's getting old Itachi-kun," the older man tutted teasingly, "I'm sure your folks are eager for you to settle down and move out of their basement."

Ruffled at the implication of his role model being a basement-dwelling failure, Sasuke was quick to jump to his brother's defense, "Says the old man who's been bumming it on Yamato's couch for the past year because he can't pay his rent due to his smut addiction. And for your information, Aniki is not living in the-"

"Kids say the darnest things don't they?" Kakashi good-naturedly cut off the younger Uchiha before he could continue his sermon on the greatness of Uchiha Itachi. Seeing Sasuke rear up in preparation for yet another rant, the retired anbu cut his student off, "Be quiet now Sasuke-kun, the grown-ups are talking. As I was saying Itachi-kun?"

Giving his brother a fond poke to the forehead, Itachi turned to calmly address the eccentric jonin, "Yes, Mother and Father have been pushing me to settle down for quite a while."

"I see," Kakashi replied, very much mimicking his old acquaintance Ibiki, "So, do you have any candidates in mind?"

The tension was thick between the two legends, riveting the attention of the rest of the team. Catching on to her old instructor's motives, Sakura glanced anxiously between the two men. The males of Team Seven observed as Itachi lowered his eyes, his gaze softening upon meeting the pinkette's.

"I do have one candidate in mind."

Itachi's quietly murmured affirmation and the accompanying tender look he shared with Sakura brought absolute silence upon the gathering. The cherry blossom's blushing response quickly killed any doubt. Oblivious to the world around them, the two lovebirds were snapped out of their heart-felt gazing by the sharp sound of a book snapping shut.

Hatake Kakashi had just put down his beloved Icha Icha without bothering to mark the page. Translation? Shit was about to get real.

As if sensing an apocalyptic worthy battle in the making, Ayame appeared with their meal tickets just in time to diffuse the murderous aura for the time being. Unabashed, Kakashi slid Yamato his ticket with an impish grin and a half-assed promise to do the laundry that week. Grumbling, the wood-style user grudgingly paid for both his own and his cheapskate superior's meals all the while knowing damn well that he'd be stuck doing the laundry yet again.

Further down the table, Naruto was similarly trying to convince his financially better off best friend to pick up his tab as well. Having been exposed to this particular gimmick countless times before, Sasuke totally ignored his best friend, readying to pay for only Sakura and himself as usual. If he was lucky, maybe even his Aniki would let him treat him as well. The implications from his beloved brother's previous actions had yet to sink into his thick skull. But boy, were they about to.

Sasuke watched in confusion as his brother smoothly paid for his and Sakura's meals. Call him crazy, but it was almost as if-

"You guys dating or something?" Naruto bluntly questioned, weary of any act of kindness when executed by an Uchiha.

"What makes you say that?" Sakura nervously questioned.

"Well like uh," the blonde scratched at his head, put off by his usually fiery teammate's apprehension, "Teme's brother took you out to eat and paid for it. That kinda seems like a date to me."

"Sasuke-kun pays for my food all the time and we're definitely not dating," the pinkette reasoned defensively. She actually had a valid point, but her sensei knew better even if her idiotic teammate did not.

"But you usually aren't so willing to accept when it's your dearest Sasuke-kun," Kakashi calmly pointed out.

Huffing, Sakura sassily threw the next jab of their verbal spar, "Yamato-san always picks up the tab for you. Maybe you two are secretly going out. You already live together."

"Sakura-chan," the wood-nin scolded, wagging his finger at her in disappointment ignoring the quietly amused form of Itachi. But Konoha's cherry blossom was on a role now.

"Maybe you two are dating," she accused, pointing at the baffled blonde and his shocked rival, "Since you made out in front of the whole class before."

The two boys mentioned paled in horror, reliving the memory for the umpteenth time. While Sakura had definitely exaggerated when she called their accidental peck a make-out session, the reminder was more than enough to take the fight out of the normally quarrelsome duo.

Next to her, the once quietly amused Uchiha was audibly chuckling all the while making a mental note to never piss off the pink haired woman.

"And you," her accusing finger landed on the silent Sai, before threatening vaguely, "Don't even get me started on you."

Being the first to recover from Sakura's patented 'blackmail-no-jutsu', Kakashi changed tactics and opted to go after the less volatile of the two. "Itachi-san, are you dating our little Sakura-chan?"

The suspected couple shared a glance, seeming to mentally communicate. Sakura let out a sigh, reluctantly consenting as Itachi gave her thigh a comforting squeeze which didn't go unnoticed by her alarmed teammates. Itachi solemnly glanced at the surrounding males before settling on the oldest nin's narrowed gaze.

"I must regrettably inform you that I have failed my mission to guard your teammate from entering into a romantic relationship," the Uchiha intoned formally.

Sasuke sat stunned, the thought of his perfect brother actually failing a mission too much for him to comprehend. However, Naruto was quick to accept the legend's failure and move on to the more important task of finding out whose ass he needed to kick.

"Who is this asshole?," Naruto growled in outrage apparently still not quite connecting the dots.

"Oh," the copy nin began sarcastically, all the while pointedly glaring at the eldest Uchiha present, "I heard he's at least ten years older than her and lives in his parents' basement."

Fully knowing her sensei's intentions, she exasperatedly cut off Naruto's outraged squawking, "For the last time, he's only seven years older and he does not live in a basement."

Sai, as unhelpful as ever, decided to speculate as well, "I heard he has no penis."

"I can assure you that he most certainly does," the embarrassed pinkette replied, realizing her mistake as the tension only skyrocketed. She inwardly cursed Sai's fixation with reproductive organs as both Kakashi and Yamato simultaneously showcased their disappointment in her. Itachi shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the artist nin gave him an analyzing look after Sakura's proclamation.

Still out of the loop, Naruto proceeded to question the prodigy yet again, "Who's this bastard dating our Sakura-chan?"

"That would be me."

Silence settled over the previously riotous group as all eyes came to focus on Itachi who had delivered the confession.

"He's not an asshole or a bastard either! He's an absolute gentleman!" Sakura rushed to tack on defensively.

"What?" Naruto croaked in confusion, completely caught off guard.

"Sakura and I are dating," Itachi affirmed in a tone that left no room for argument.

Next to him, an overwhelmed Sasuke succumbed to a dead faint. In the wake of Itachi's revelation, no one bothered to catch the dainty Uchiha as he hit the ground with a satisfying thump.


After Sakura had delivered her 'I'm an independent woman who can date whoever I please and it would please me very mush to date Itachi because he's just freaking awesome' speech to little effect, the newly announced couple decided to make their exit. Toting the unconscious Sasuke with them, her teammates followed the two from a distance.

In contrast to the evening's earlier turnoil, the walk home was a calm one. The dark night sky provided a soothing chill, urging the two dating nin closer than usual. A comfortable silence was held between the two, only broken by the faint growls of disapproval from the furious nine-tail jinchuriki. It would have been such a romantic scene if not for the murderously protective nin blatantly waiting to ambush Itachi.

"Could they be any more obvious?" Sakura grumbled, shooting a glare at her teammates stalking her. "Why do they always do this to me?"

"They care about you," the pinkette's date reminded her quietly.

"Why do you always have to be right?" Sakura retorted grumpily to which her boyfriend smirked whilst reeling her in closer. The kyuubi's chakra began to seep out of his container in response, prompting the two nin to sweatdrop. Granted, Naruto had always been a hothead, but the fact that neither Kakashi nor Yamato bothered to intervene was cause for worry. The pinkette could only hope that her unconscious teammate remained as such. Lord knows she already had enough well-meaning idiots to deal with already.

Bringing her back to the present, Itachi lightly squeezed her hand as they came to a stop at her door. Throwing a glance over her shoulder, she was met with the peculiar sight of a seething Naruto, a mildly upset Sai, a disapproving Yamato and one incapacitated Sasuke tagging along sack-of-potatoes style on the shoulder of an incensed Kakashi. The butt-shot from the prone Uchiha somewhat diminished the intimidating aura her team had been going for.

Turning back to her date and wishing to hide him away from her unwanted entourage's wrath, Sakura politely invited him in for tea. Not one to run from his problems, the Uchiha just as politely declined her offer. Sakura was displeased to say the least, but relented, figuring she could just put him back together if her team was successful in shredding him to pieces. With one last look, she pecked him goodnight and retreated.

Waiting until his student's bedroom light clicked off, the leader of the murderous mob finally turned to address the punk pining after his pup. "What are your intentions concerning my favorite student?"

Ignoring Naruto's grumblings about the 'favorite student' part, Kakashi patiently waited for a response.

"I wish to court your student."

"Sure," Kakashi replied flippantly, "You can court Naruto all you want, but I don't think he's the marrying type. I don't think Sasuke or Hinata would be too happy though."

"I meant your other student," smiling wryly, Itachi went on to clarify needlessly, "your female student."

"You mean this little princess," Kakashi jostled Sasuke pointedly, "Well that's kind of frowned upon since he's your little brother, but to each his own I guess. "

Hatake Kakashi was not going to make this easy for him. Resisting his urge to sigh, Itachi leveled the man a serious gaze. "I wish to court Haruno Sakura."

The sound of Sasuke hitting the ground fabulous face first for the second time that night resounded forebodingly. Yet again, no one bothered to aid the still unconscious boy.

"Absolutely not. You can have any of my other students," the copy-nin dropped his fake jovial attitude in favor of a steely tone as he delivered his ultimatum, "but you cannot have Sakura."

"Haruno Sakura is not a possession to have. Though I would appreciate your approval as one of her precious people, it is ultimately her decision to accept my courtship," Itachi replied diplomatically, expecting Kakashi's vehement disapproval.

Reluctantly mollified by the boy's response, Sakura's self-proclaimed second father backed off for the moment. However, the others were just getting started.

"You don't even know anything about Sakura-chan," the blonde accused, "I bet you don't even know her favorite color."

"Red," the accused replied smoothly.

Folding his arms defensively across his chest, the disgruntled boy huffed, "Lucky guess. Alright pretty boy, what's her favorite animal?"

"She has a fondness for snails that I don't understand," Itachi supplied.

Still not convinced, Naruto presented his trump card, "Stalker much? Well then, when's her birthday?"

"March-" before Itachi could finish, he was cut off by the boisterous boy.

"Aha!" Naruto practically danced in victory, "Everyone knows that her birthday is December 27th."

Before he could be corrected, a boot made contact with his whiskered cheek, "Baka! That's Hinata-chan's birthday!"

"Her birthday is March 28th," Itachi corrected the downed dobe. Reaching down, the Uchiha deftly retrieved his girlfriend's boot from her knocked unconscious teammate's face and lightly tossing it back to her.

With a sweetly chirped "Thanks Ita-kun" the rosette closed her window and retreated back to her sweet dreams.

"He's got my vote," Yamato muttered, easily won over. The wood-nin ignored his superior's dirty look pointedly.

Striding past his felled teammate and towards the Uchiha heir, Sai was a man of purpose. Itachi held his ground and peered back cautiously as Sai invaded his personal space. Suddenly grasping and stretching the waistband of the anbu captain's pants, the ex-root nin proceeded to peer down in observation. Nodding sagely, he let go of his grip with an elastic snap.

Retreating back to his group, Sai finally commented on his earlier actions, "I approve."

Visibly violated, the Uchiha uncomfortably shifted in response and cleared his throat. Noticing the newly approved male's discomfort, Sai tried to quell the male. "How rude of me," the pasty nin smiled creepily, "Would you like to see mine as well?"

"No," came the ravenette's rushed response succeeding in stopping the male reproductive organ-obsessed boy from flashing him, "No one wants to see that."

Shrugging , Sai zipped up his pants, completely indifferent to the judging stares of his current company.

Sasuke chose this exact moment of utter awkwardness to wake from his mini, shock-induced coma.

"Sensei?" he muttered in confusion, groggily rising to his feet, "I had the strangest dream that my brother was dating Sakura."

"That wasn't a dream," Kakashi enlightened the young man, gesturing to the boy's brother.

"I am dating Sakura," Itachi replied, further enlightening his younger sibling.

"I approve," Sai tacked on helpfully.

For the third time that night, Sasuke's body gracelessly collapsed to the ground as he fainted yet again. Yet again, no one bothered to catch the boy.

With Yamato and Sai no longer on his side and his only remaining supporters knocked out, Kakashi relented, "You win for now Uchiha. If you hurt her or make her anything but happy…"

Itachi nodded his understanding as the White Fang's son trailed off. Throwing Naruto over his shoulder, Kakashi allowed the aforementioned victor of their verbal spar to scoop up Sasuke bridal style. The serious atmosphere was dampened by the unconscious party members once again.

Nodding to each other, the assembled nin parted ways.


"So you're alive," Sakura commented the next morning as she opened the door to her boyfriend.

"You sound surprised."

"I'm relieved," she assured, pecking him on the cheek before joining him outside for a stroll. "I'm sorry you had to face them."

"Don't be," her boyfriend replied with hidden amusement, "I got off easy compared to you."

"Oh?" she questioned.

"You still have to face the entire Uchiha clan," he quipped.

Sakura seemed unconcerned in the face of such a challenge. "Shisui and Sasuke are too scared of me to disapprove. The matriarch loves me already and the patriarch's just happy his son is finally showing interest in the female species. Not to mention, the heir is absolutely smitten with me."

"You're right," Itachi clasped her hand in his, "You'll be just fine."

"Damn straight," the pinkette cheekily sassed in agreement.

And so, one smitten Uchiha and one happily no longer single Haruno strolled off into the sunrise.


Author's Note: It's not the end yet my dearies! There's still an epilogue in the works which I will try to whip out as fast as I can.

As always, faves, follows and reviews are much appreciated. Though my worse-than-Kakashi's tardiness warrants nothing from you beautiful readers, I selfishly beseech you to continue showing this fic some love.

And once again, thank you to all the wonderful people who have read, reviewed, faved and/or followed this story. The support I've had for this fic has been phenomenal and I'm forever grateful. Thank you all so very much for everything. You guys are the best!

Wishing you happiness regardless of what you choose to celebrate or not celebrate,

~Dotti3