GR's Note: While I had no internet, my tutor was sending me prompts through e-mail, because he's temporarily away on a trip. When I finally got to the library to check my e-mail, I had three prompts already in my inbox and because of time constraints I combined the first two into one for this part. Anyway, read and review, let me know what you think! Kisses!

Prompt Word: Double Prompt! Indecision / Acceptance

Time to Finish: 6 hours

Listened to: Late 80's/Early 90's love songs (Think Savage Garden and Foreigner)

Part 7: Frailty

No matter how difficult it can be to come to a decision, it's always a good idea to accept that no matter what you do, you can't always make the right ones. Once that's out of the way, remember to put the bad ones behind you and move on with the good ones.

"You know, I would kill for my husband to look at me like that. You're so lucky." The pink-haired kunoichi snapped out of her dazed thoughts to stare at their client as her partner was dismissed to their quarters, leaving her behind. The low tone that the young woman used along with the way she leaned in towards the kunoichi indicated with no uncertainty that the comment had been meant for her ears alone. Trying to puzzle out what the lady could mean, Sakura examined her up and down in incredulity to determine if she was being sarcastic, from the top of her pretty ash blond head to her luminously white face, to her vibrantly opalescent eyes. The woman may have looked like a ghost, but as far as Sakura could tell, she was being honest.

"I don't know what you mean, Hyuuga-sama." Eyes as pale as her skin, the only indicator that she was in any way related to the highest ranking of Konoha nobility, flashed with skepticism as she regarded the woman that Tsunade had seen fit to send in response to her family's request. Honestly, she saw nothing remarkable before her. A petite, quiet woman who seemed too shy to be a shinobi, forget being the jounin level kunoichi that she needed. In fact, Sakura reminded her of Hiashi-sama's oldest daughter, if not quite so extreme in her timidity. If things didn't work out the way things were supposed to go, she'd be a perfect lure, in any case.

"He obviously cares for you very much. If I was so lucky, you wouldn't be here." Sakura shook her head softly, attracting her client's gaze to strands of pink hair that fell out from under the hood of her sweater and glowed a beautiful shade of lavender in the moonlight. Being told she was cared for by her older teammate provoked a strange feeling in Sakura's chest, unlike anything she had ever experienced before and without a doubt something that she couldn't attach a name to.

"While I don't doubt that he cares for me as a friend, seeing as we've known each other for eleven years and were teammates for at least six of those, we're husband and wife now only because that was what the mission called for." She recited her piece mechanically, as if reading a prompt, while her client raised an eyebrow in curiosity. Hyuuga Haruka was no idiot, and though she had never made such a request in her mission statement, she didn't say anything. Things didn't add up and she simply assumed that the hokage was up to something, most likely meddling with the lives of the two shinobi that she had been sent to take care of her little problem. Honestly, it wasn't any of her business, so long as the job got done.

While Haruka giggled only inwardly at Tsunade's attempt at matchmaking, once again Sakura's thoughts had been carried away to some other plane of existence, where the questions that had been plaguing her incessantly for the last to weeks resided and begged to be answered. Try as she might, Sakura couldn't answer anything, nor could she find it in her to completely ignore it all. But, the more she tried to understand, the less she ended up grasping and it was ultimately driving her farther and farther into distraction and worse.

"I see. The child isn't his then?" Remembering her manners, Sakura only shook her head vaguely, aware that Tsunade would have informed their client of her condition. Absently, she ran her fingers over the fabric of her sweater where it rested directly over her abdomen, wondering if the baby might not look like it's father, if maybe she could pass it off as the result of exactly what Sasuke had accused her of on so many occasions.

"That has no relevancy to the mission, Hyuuga-sama. Now, can we please get back on topic and finish with this? I thought Wind Country was supposed to be warm..." It was unlike the pink-haired girl to be so blunt with her clients, but the conversation had taken a turn into territory that she didn't particularly wish to delve any deeper into. Seeing exactly this, the ashen haired woman stepped out of the marble gazebo that had been the meeting place for the three and lifted her long skirts in preparation for the walk back to the mansion.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize the subject was off-limits. In any case, please follow me." Sakura nodded silently and followed closely behind on the colorfully paved path, hugging her body tightly through the thin crimson layer that was her only barrier against the cold night air. Shinobi instinct kicking in, Sakura knew to carefully observe what she could as she passed through the expansive gardens, taking note of the scenery she would undoubtedly be spending a fair amount of time in.

"Exactly as it states in the mission scroll, you and your partner will be posing as civilians that I've hired while my husband is away. Your objective is to catch him red-handed, so to speak, because unfortunately I haven't been able too, mostly because of the difference in our skill levels. He is, as I stated earlier, a jounin, though I'll warn you that he easily has the potential to be an ANBU operative, whereas I never made it past chuunin rank." Sakura nodded politely, though she knew all this already. It may not exactly have looked like it, but she had been listening earlier when she went through it all the first time. They were entering the mansion now, dark except for a few lit windows on the upper floors. Kakashi would be in their room already, probably exhausted. Her restlessness had gotten the better of her last night and she hadn't let them stop for more than a short break, so neither of them had slept in nearly forty-eight hours. She knew at least that she was tired, whether her partner was or not, but she had her pride and wouldn't ask her client to delay her explanations until the next day. They were already late because of her.

"If you don't mind me asking, why the mission? If you're so sure he's cheating on you, why shell out the cash for two shinobi to prove it?" The woman stiffened in front of Sakura, her gait slowing to a standstill before she looked back with a thoroughly bitter expression on her face.

"I can't dissolve my marriage without a very good reason and evidence to back it up. I can't get that evidence myself and I'd rather not be trapped here in a loveless relationship for the rest of my life, so I don't have any choice." Tilting her head to one side, Sakura bit her lip as the ache of understanding passed over her and the two began moving again.

"You know, my mother always told me that expecting love from any man was a fruitless pursuit. Maybe your expectations for your husband are just too high." Turning her head to watch Sakura while they walked together, the ashen haired woman couldn't help but gaze curiously at her downcast face.

"Being an arranged marriage, I wasn't really expecting love from it, in truth. Fidelity, respect and some manner of affection, however, I do expect and am not getting. As far as what your mother thinks, you shouldn't believe her. I know for a fact that men are capable of love, it can just be a lot more difficult for them to express it than it is for us." Sakura frowned as they ascended a large set of stairs, not looking up to the woman walking before her. Her own experience was too uncannily close to her mother's to really think otherwise without her own proof, something she hadn't ever been provided with, not from Sasuke. Not that she wouldn't admit that the idea was a nice one, she just couldn't realistically apply it to her life.

"Tsunade-sama mentioned that you were a medic, so I'll be setting you up in here. Honestly, you shouldn't have a whole lot to do, but we'll have to actually make it look like you're working here. Nothing more difficult than basic first aid for the kids and the servants should be the most common thing you'll deal with. I shouldn't have to say it again, but you're civilians, so no chakra. Appropriate wardrobes have been set up in your room according to the measurements Tsunade-sama sent me and I've set out hair dye and contacts to change your appearance while you're here. I don't want my husband recognizing you from the bingo books or something." Sakura nodded absently as she looked up from the floor to examine the room that the two woman had entered. It was clean, neat and very obviously a miniature infirmary. The walls were painted a pale yellow color that sickened her, reminding her of her former rival's hair color and the tiled floor was even worse, a dark patterned blue that matched the color Sasuke insisted on wearing at all times. If she would have been able to look at the room objectively, she would have found the color combination comfortable and pleasing to the eye, easing the room away from the sterile feel of a normal hospital room, she just couldn't manage to do it. Seeing that the room was well-stocked, Sakura stepped back out of the room to catch her breath and clear her head. She'd have to get used to being in there, so she would have to find a way to deal with the colors inside without making herself sick.

"Your room's upstairs. Follow me." Sakura numbly followed her up another flight of stairs and down the labyrinthine hallways until they stopped in front of a lone door, the only one situated in the short hallway they were standing in.

"Here it is. Get some rest and spend tomorrow getting yourself acquainted with the grounds. You'll start your real work when my husband gets back, four days from now. Goodnight, Sakura." Leaning forward in a polite bow, Sakura quietly bid the blond woman goodnight before she opened the door silently and slipped inside the room.

The room was darkened and she could hear the soft, unbroken breathing of her partner coming from where she could faintly discern the outline of their bed, confirming her suspicions that he had gone to sleep without waiting for her. Placing her pack on the floor at her feet she slowly approached him, careful not to make a sound. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness in the room, she found herself able to observe him more closely, noting first that his hair was still damp and still decidedly silver, indicating that he hadn't used the dye yet. He also wasn't clad in the normal jounin uniform she was used to him sleeping in. Of course she knew that he couldn't wear the uniform, but it was still strange for her to see Kakashi in only a white t-shirt and pale pajama bottoms after eleven years of seeing him in nothing but blue sweats and an olive green flak vest. As well, though she couldn't see any details of his exposed face at the moment, just knowing that he was maskless sort of felt like cheating.

Pulling off her sweater and setting it aside, she continued to watch her partner sleep peacefully, undisturbed by the feelings that even then she was attempting to puzzle her way through and make sense of, with little success. What exactly was it she felt for him? It was far from the same sense of friendship she felt towards Naruto, Yamato or Sai, while at the same time it obviously was a lot closer than the familial bond she had developed with Tsunade, Shizune and her colleagues at the hospital. It wasn't negative in the slightest and she couldn't find any way to compare it to her feelings for Sasuke, it would be like comparing hot and cold; impossible. So, where did that leave her?

Finally averting her gaze she continued to disrobe, first shedding her flimsy pink t-shirt and the plain cotton bra underneath before moving to the worn out blue jeans and sliding them off of her hips. She had lost so much weight in the past few weeks that the previously snug pants could be pushed down without even being undone, a fact that was beginning to worry her, though not as much as something else she couldn't quite explain. She was showing already, if only slightly. At only six weeks in, that should have been literally impossible, but what troubled her about it was the argument she had had with Tsunade when she did her check up before they left. There was no possible way that she could have conceived the child within her two weeks before her birthday, but Tsunade was quite adamant that at the time of her check up, she had already six weeks pregnant, give or take a couple of days. Under normal circumstances, she would never doubt a word her mentor said to her, but she simply couldn't believe these ones... and yet, she was already showing the beginnings of her pregnancy. If Tsunade was correct and she was now eight weeks pregnant rather than six, it was a little more believable when paired with her recent weight loss that she would show a little, but there was still one very big, gaping hole in that theory; despite what Sasuke had been led to believe, Sakura was not an unfaithful wife, and he had only bothered to do anything to her once in the entirety of the last year, since the night before her twenty second birthday party. Something wasn't right and not only did it worry and frighten her, she had no plausible explanation for any of it.

Shaking her head to clear it for the time being, she stepped out of the faded denim pooled around her feet, clothed in only white socks and a threadbare pair of pink panties, making her way to the dresser in the room to search it for a pair of pajamas or a nightgown.

Everything in the dresser and the nearby wardrobe was unmistakably new and tailored quite closely to their sizes, though she really had to question the tastes of whoever had filled them, as they apparently didn't realize that lace wasn't exactly the most comfortable material to create a nightgown out of, nor did they realize that a nightgown so short would barely cover her panties, forget anything lower than that. Bypassing the strange excuse for sleepwear and continuing on, Sakura couldn't hide her confusion when she realized that there was not a single piece of practical clothing among all of the articles geared towards her. Even among the day wear, there wasn't much that she would have picked out for herself. Her entire selection was simply a mixture of ankle-length dresses and skirts like the lady had been wearing earlier, button-down blouses and sweaters, there wasn't a single pair of shoes with any less than an inch of heel and she could count on one hand the number of undergarments that came even close to resembling the simplistic cuts and fabrics she was used to.

Completely flabbergasted and unsure of what to do, Sakura kept returning to the questionable nightwear, entranced by the myriad colors and becoming curious about the basis of their appeal. Reaching out to gently run her fingers along the length of one in particular that caught her eye, the soft smoothness of the pale light-reflecting fabric against her rough, calloused fingers pushed her to lift the garment out of the drawer and hold it up against her frame. Deciding that she liked the inherent femininity of the delicate slip, she painstakingly searched the drawer for a similarly pale and shiny pair of panties to wear with it.

Retreating to the attached washroom with one more glance at her partner to assure herself that he remained asleep, Sakura shut the door before turning on the light. Smiling gratefully at the fluffy white towel and washcloth sitting beside a bottle of hair dye that had been left on the counter top for her, she inwardly thanked Kakashi's thoughtfulness, something that she had recently begun to realize that he had never once neglected to show her. Maybe... there was some truth to the lady's words after all. Even so however, Sakura still wasn't sure what to do about it, as unsure of her own feelings as she was.

Stepping into the shower and letting the burning hot water strike her face and body as she turned on the stream to full blast, she went went about resuming the emotional dissection that she had been attempting since before they had even left Konoha while she washed herself mindlessly. Instead of focusing her thoughts solely on Kakashi, a practice she had taken up that wasn't gaining her much progress either way, she decided to muse on her former husband and the dynamics of their relationship.

She knew he didn't love her, not now and not ever, but that never stopped her from trying to teach him how. In return, he had used her and tossed her aside like a child who's grown bored of a toy, only to replace her with a more obedient and willing stand-in.

As the soapy washcloth absently scrubbed circles over her thighs, she remembered the pale white marks that crisscrossed the skin there and continued on up her body without a pattern, shivering despite the heat at the memory of the injuries that had caused them; injuries that had taken her days to heal completely. He never failed to instill some level of fear in her, not after their first night together and the unbearable pain it brought, but that fear had only grown worse and worse as time went on... right up until she couldn't be anywhere in the house they shared without glancing over her shoulder every few moments, wary of him and the pain he brought with him. How could she love someone who caused her so much fear and pain? Maybe she didn't.

Maybe she didn't love him anymore.

The abrupt realization hit her like a ton of bricks, leaving her to stare at the rippling water on the shower floor as it flowed into the drain, her thoughts stunned into silence by her own logic.

Maybe she didn't love him. Maybe she never really had. Where did that leave her?

She cared about him, for sure, but not the same as her former teammates, and especially not the same as she did Kakashi. Having had time away from him, even just these last few weeks, had given her a bit of insight on what she wanted out of a relationship and what she hadn't been getting. Of course, she had no doubt that Kakashi was more than a little bit to blame for that and the more she found herself thinking about it now, the more she suspected that his 'act' seemed a bit too sincere to be just that.

Stepping out of the stream that had gone from nearly scalding to completely frigid while she had stood and stared at at the tiles lost in thought, Sakura took the fluffy towel and wrapped it around herself to dry her chilled skin. She dried herself off slowly and methodically, stalling for time before she would have to get dressed and go crawl into bed next to the man who had been doing nothing but confuse her to no end over the last couple weeks.

Obviously he wasn't somebody that she minded talking to or spending time with, otherwise she wouldn't so easily label him as one of her closest friends. They had actually become a lot closer since she turned seventeen, after she had become a senior medic and he had been reinstated as an ANBU, back when he started to outright refuse any medical treatment other than hers. After her parents passed, he always seemed to be around when she needed someone to be with, and unlike most he wasn't picky about her cooking. He might be a pervert with a penchant for lame excuses and being late, but at the same time he was thoughtful, trustworthy and hadn't ever let her down.

They were definitely a far cry from the possessive, clingy sensation she had once associated with Sasuke and defined as love, her feelings for Kakashi. They were actually closer to a warm, all-encompassing fuzzy feeling that made her feel safe and comfortable, like putting on a fluffy sweater or cuddling into a heavy blanket, whereas her old definition of love was more like pulling a load of laundry out of the dryer and realizing that she forgot to add one of those anti-static sheets, so all her socks stuck together. So, in reality, what did she want? A warm fuzzy blanket or staticky socks?

Smiling at her own stupid analogies while she gently worked her fingers through her damp hair to untangle it, the smile promptly slid off her face as she made what should have been a very obvious realization. She had never seen Kakashi with any woman more than once and hadn't ever heard him express any interest in ever having kids, either. So much for the fuzzy blanket. What possible interest could he have in her, six...or possibly eight weeks pregnant with a kid that wasn't his? She was misreading the signs, led on by a glimmer of hope sparked by an inaccurate observation made by a woman she had only just met. She felt like an idiot.

Dejected and no longer in the mood to even think, Sakura only wanted to sleep now, though not necessarily next to her friend. Slipping into the nightgown and panties she had picked out and only now noticing that they were a pretty pastel pink color, she set the bathroom in order again and finally shut the light before entering the bedroom once again. She let her eyes adjust to the dark room before quietly approaching the bed itself and noting with only a little dismay that the man she had compared to a blanket was sprawled over the entirety of their bed in a startlingly accurate imitation of one, no longer breathing evenly but instead snoring softly.

Biting her lip to keep the amusing picture he made from making her laugh, she silently sat down on the bed, her small body barely even making a dip in the firm mattress as she scooted over to sit a bit closer to him. She couldn't see any real detail about his face in the dark, but from what she could see, she had to admit that he wasn't bad-looking. His face was all clean, straight lines and she couldn't see any obvious deformity at all, other than the scar over his left eye and cheek. Even that wasn't a deformity as much as it was just another feature of his face, because unlike hers, his looked like it belonged there, like it had always been there. It didn't look out of place at all.

Thoughtfully, she reached over and brushed away the longer hair that fell over his scarred cheek with the lightest of touches, exposing his entire face to her. Asleep, he looked truly peaceful, in a way that even his normally laid-back attitude couldn't portray and the sight of such serenity on his face calmed her, made her happy to think that she was one of the very few who would ever see him this way.

Without waking, as if in reaction to her body heat, Kakashi rolled towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling his face into the curve of her neck as if he had done so a million times before, as if he belonged there. Sighing softly in acceptance while letting the ghost of a smile linger over her lips, Sakura no longer bothered resisting when he pulled her down like he did every other night since they started traveling as civilians, though usually he was fully conscious when he did it. She knew by now that even had she wanted to, his grip was too strong for her to break, as far behind as she was on her normal training and that didn't change when he slept, either. Now, she simply let herself enjoy it and poked fun at his inability to sleep alone once they woke up.

Gently, she pushed back his hair again and pressed her lips against his forehead, giving him the goodnight kiss that he hadn't been awake to seek out from her tonight before she softly rested her cheek on the top of his head and curled up into a comfortable sleeping position.

It would have to be something she cleared up with him in the morning, his intentions towards her. As much as she enjoyed this... closeness, she couldn't help but feel like they weren't quite on the same page about it and it bothered her a little. She didn't know what she wanted to happen between them and honestly, the possibilities scared her.

As long as history wouldn't repeat itself...