Before I start, I have a surprise for you all, kinda. A chance to meet me! I'll be going to Ikasucon 2008 in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I don't know which day yet, but I'll be there so if anyone's going maybe we'll see each other. If I Cosplay at all, I'll probably be Teru Mikami from Death Note, if not I'll probably have my Deidara t-shirt that I made that says 'Art is a Bang' on the front and has an Akatsuki cloud on the back. It'll be my first con and I don't know how difficult it would be to find me, but if any of you are going let me know, I'd love to meet any of my readers.
Enter Deidara
It was just another normal day for our favorite evil doers, the Akatsuki. Pein was reading the newpaper, Konan was attempting to make breakfast, Tobi was watching Spongebob, Zetsu was photosynthesizing, Deidara and Sasori were cuddling on the couch, Itachi was petting Whiskers the cat, Kisame was making out with a fish, Kakuzu was counting the money and Hidan was swearing and whining. Yep, just another ordinary day.
"Hey, you guys remember when I first joined Akatsuki?" Deidara suddenly asked.
"No, I block out all negative memories…who are you guys again?" Pein asked, but unfortunately for him, he was joking.
"I remember it like it was yesterday…" Deidara said, "Leader-sama was flipping though resumes after Orochimaru left and-"
"How do you even know that? You weren't there," Pein said.
"Shhhhh! I'm telling a story!" Deidara said, "Now where was I…"
-Flashback-
"Goddamn Itachi, why must he scare away all our members," Pein said, exasperated.
"At least it was just Orochimaru, he was creepy and I think he had a thing for little boys," Konan said, "Speaking of new members, we should get another female member."
"I don't know," Pein said unsure.
"What was that?" Konan asked, glaring at him.
"We should totally get another female member and I'm not sexist at all," Pein said.
"Good," Konan said, "Now have you found anyone?"
"There's one that looks good," Pein said, picking up a sheet of paper he had put off to the side, "Deidara, Female, blonde, nineteen (A/N I'm estimating his age), likes blowing things up."
"She sounds good," Konan said.
"Then we'll go get her," Pein said, "Itachi, Kisame and Sasori, get in here!"
The three trooped into the room, looking annoyed at being taken away from their usual activities.
"You guys are the ones picking up the new member," Pein said, "Here's her location and resume."
Itachi took the paper and nodded. Then the three left to pick up the newest Akatsuki member.
-Break-
"Is that her?" Kisame asked, seeing a blonde haired woman standing a distance away.
Itachi looked at the description, "Yep, that's her."
"Excuse me, we're here to recruit you for Akatsuki," Kisame said.
Deidara turned around and looked confusedly at them, "What?" she (?) said in a deep manly voice.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kisame screamed, Itachi's eyes widened and Sasori nearly fell over.
"A-are you a man?" Kisame asked.
"Well, duh, un," Deidara said, rolling his eyes and pink bubbly hearts began floating around Sasori.
"Do you have a twin sister or anything?" Itachi asked.
"No, my entire family committed suicide. I have no idea why though," Deidara said.
Kisame and Itachi huddled together. "Should we bring him anyway?" Kisame asked.
"I'm sure it'll be no big deal whether he's a girl or a boy. Knowing Leader he'd probably prefer a boy," Itachi replied.
"What do you think Sasori?" Kisame asked. The two turned to see Sasori in Hiruko moving back and forth.
"What are you doing?" Itachi asked.
"Something's stuck," he mumbled.
"What is?" Kisame asked.
"NOTHING!" Sasori yelled.
"Are you sure you're a man?" Kisame asked, returning his attention to Deidara.
Deidara pulled open his pants and looked down, "Yeah, I'm sure," he said.
"B-but you're," Itachi tried to say.
"Sexy?" Deidara interjected.
"Well, that is…it, let's go," Itachi said. Deidara didn't put up any fight and went happily along. Mostly because he thought Itachi was hot.
-Break-
"Ok Leader, we got him," Kisame said, walking into the living room.
"What do you mean him? Are you guys that retarded that you mixed up a guy with a girl?" Pein said. He looked at Deidara in confusion. He pulled out the picture from Deidara's resume and looked between the two, it was a perfect match. "You're a man?" Pein asked.
"Yes, un," Deidara said in a happy and manly voice.
"Fine, let me introduce you to everyone," Pein said, after getting all the Akatsuki to line up.
"I'm first, I'm your Leader. Just call me Leader-sama. Next is Konan, she is second in command and not because she is a women," Pein said, not wanting to get in trouble, "Next is Itachi, don't look him in the eye."
"Why not?" Deidara asked, and once he said that, he fell to the floor.
"That's why," Pein said.
After Deidara regained consciencness Pein continued with the introductions, "This is Kisame, if you seem him with a fish stop him," he said.
"Doing what with a fish?" Deidara asked.
"You'll know," Pein assured, "This is Hidan, he's not allowed to eat anything. Next is Kakuzu, he manages the money."
"Don't worry, I don't spend a lot of money…I think," Deidara said.
"This is Zetsu, if you die; he'll eat your corpse," Pein said, "And lastly is your partner, Sasori. Sasori, why don't you get out of there and introduce yourself to your new partner?"
"One sec," Sasori said and the sound of pants zipping up was heard from inside, Hiruko opened up and Sasori got out.
Deidara's jaw dropped. There was a light shining down on Sasori and there were floral patterns floating around and a halleluiah chorus.
"When did we get a skylight?" Pein asked, looking up at the window the light was streaming in from. "Well, now that you've met, it's time for your first mission together. Your mission it to-"
"Thanks, see ya," Sasori said, and grabbed Deidara's hand to drag him outside.
"Don't you need your puppet?" Pein called.
"NO!" Sasori yelled back.
"Well, at least they're getting along," Pein mused. Just as he said that, the room began shaking. "Kisame!" Pein yelled and the fish man held up his hands, which were empty. Pein stalked over to the door where the shaking was coming from. He opened it and Sasori and Deidara tumbled in, doing…things.
-Break-
"Pein," Konan said, entering his office.
"Yes?" Pein asked.
"Didn't you say we were getting a female member?" Konan asked.
"Come on, he's practically a girl! What with the hair and the make-up," Pein claimed.
"So only girls can wear make-up?" Konan asked.
"What is happening?" Pein said. Why can't he ever win?
-End Flashback-
"And that's how I got into Akatsuki," Deidara said, "And got with Sasori, un."
"Woo hoo," Pein said, popping his Advil.
The End
