Exercise 3:
"And the third test is…" Pein held up a finger, smiling broadly. "Piggyback races."
Everyone stared at him.
And then began to laugh.
"Woo," Kisame wiped a tear from his eye. "That's a good one Leader-san."
"Nice, real nice," Deidara snickered.
"Full-grown men giving each other piggyback rides?" Konan snickered. "The things you come up with..."
Pein gave them all a dark look. "Shut up! I'm not joking about this one so pay attention to the rules."
Within fifteen minutes they had managed to calm themselves down, straightening up from where they had fallen to the ground laughing to look back at their leader.
Pein felt an eye twitch. "As I was saying before you immature idiots interrupted…" he cleared his throat. "We will be doing the next test piggyback style."
Hidan couldn't help it. He guffawed. "Never heard of doing it that fucking way before."
And with that- everyone who had been trying to keep it in- burst out laughing.
Again.
-Ten minutes later-
"I WILL RINNEGAN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IF YOU IDIOTS DON'T SHUT THOSE HOLES IN YOUR FACES NOW!" Pein roared.
They all kindly shut up.
"Now!" Pein blew out an aggravated puff of air, hands on his hips. "Here are the rules. One person from each team will have to sit out and act as referees. The other four must pair up with another person they harbor great hatred for. Then they will team up to go against their opponents. The race is from here," he indicated to the finish line from the previous test, "to the top of the base."
All eyes went to the base. Their giant rock base.
"How the heck do you expect us to get up there?" Konan inquired, looking at her partner.
Pein smirked. "Use your brain for once Konan. You'll be allowed to use chakra for this test."
Konan drop-kicked him. "I dare you to say that again asshole!"
"Okay, okay!" Pein cried. "I'm sorry!"
"Hmph!" Konan turned, stalking over to her team.
Pein got up from the ground, dignity shattered along with three of his ribs. "Okay," he wheezed. "Split up and decide your pairs." He face-planted a moment later.
Itachi sighed, picking his leader up by the leg and dragging him off to a different part of their base's backyard where they could discuss things.
~X~
Kisame placed his hands on his hips, looking at his team. "Alright- so who's going to sit out?"
"Hmm…" Konan thoughtfully placed a hand to her chin in thought. "None of us here really hate one another, do we?"
"I could live without Hidan," Sasori said.
"Fuck you!" Hidan pointed at him.
Konan snorted. "Okay. Hidan, Sasori- you two are one of our pairs."
"And we're screwed," Sasori muttered.
Hidan felt an eye twitch. "You…"
Konan turned to Kisame and Zetsu. "Do either of you boys want to carry each other?"
"No!"
"No way in hell!"
"Alright then," Konan smiled. "Kisame you have plenty of chakra to spare so we can afford to use it all up."
"Is that a wise idea?" Kisame sweatdropped.
"Silence!"
"So I guess I should sit this one out like a good boy then," Zetsu sarcastically said.
Konan smirked. "That's not all we're going to do. Our mission while we're out there in this test is to make our opponents fight amongst themselves. It shouldn't be hard, seeing as most of them dislike one another anyway."
"Yeah!" Hidan pumped out a fist. "Team cooperation for the fucking win!"
Sasori sighed. "Let's do this," he monotoned.
~X~
"So Tobi, be a good boy and sit out on this one un," Deidara instructed the masked nin.
Tobi waved his arms around. "Oki-doki sempai! But doesn't that mean you're stuck with Itachi-san?"
"What?" Deidara blanched, whipping his head around to look at the impassive raven. "No way!"
"Yeah," Pein said. "Deidara will be with me."
"But you don't hate Deidara-sempai," Tobi innocently said. "So you have to go with Kakuzu."
Pein turned to Deidara, slapping him across the face. "I hate you."
Deidara deadpanned. "I hate you too Leader-san."
They turned towards Tobi.
"See? We hate each other very much," Pein assured Tobi.
Itachi rolled his eyes. "No you don't. You made up the rules Pein, you can't back out of them."
"I'm the leader!" Pein snapped. "I do what I want!"
Kakuzu snorted. "Yeah…sure."
Pein glared. "Shut up!"
"And this is why you need to team up," Itachi said with a raised brow. "Leader-san, you have an unexplainable hatred towards Kakuzu and Deidara isn't particularly fond of me for some reason."
"What? My hatred for Kakuzu isn't unexplainable," Pein argued. "I just don't like him!"
Itachi stared. "Unexplainable."
Pein glowered to himself for not thinking things through before making up rules. He growled, shuffling over to where Kakuzu was. "I refuse to carry you."
Kakuzu snorted. "I wouldn't trust you to carry me anyway."
Pein felt a vein pop. "I HATE YOU!" he roared.
The other three watching them sweatdropped.
Itachi was the first to look away as Pein proceeded to stomp all over Kakuzu. "Shall we go over and meet the other team to let them know of our decision?"
"We didn't finish making a decision un!" Deidara stomped his foot. "I'm not teaming up with you- I'll just sit this one out!"
"Are you chickening out?" Itachi asked.
"What? You can't chicken out of a piggyback race!"
"Yes you can."
"No you can't! And shut up!" Deidara crossed his arms.
Tobi latched onto the blonde's arm. "Sempai~ do it for me!"
"Hell no!" Deidara kicked him in the face.
Tobi backed away, silently promising horrible things upon the younger bomber.
Itachi rubbed his brow with a sigh. "Don't be impossible."
Deidara glared.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Fine hmm. I'll join with you, but only to win."
Itachi nodded. "Okay."
They both turned around at the same time. "Get on my back," they chimed.
"…"
A gust of wind blew overhead.
They faced one another somewhat awkwardly.
"What did you say?" Deidara asked with a brow twitching.
"Deidara, you can't carry me," Itachi said as if he were speaking to a child.
"Why? You calling me weak?" Deidara sneered. "Or maybe you're just calling yourself fat hmm."
"Yes. Because I'm a giant, water-inflated, cow," Itachi dryly said, "No." He pointed at the blonde's foot. "You can't carry me because you're injured. And you won't be fast enough to run us up the side of the base."
Deidara gaped for several seconds before huffing and turning away. "Whatever."
Tobi grinned beneath his mask. It was going to be fun watching his team who hated each other compete against the Blue Team who didn't really mind each other all that much. Let the killing begin…mwuhahahahaha! Well…not really. I do need them after all.
Konan smirked from on Kisame's back, looking at Tobi and Zetsu who were standing at the top of the base with red and blue flags in their hands. "When they wave the flag, we go."
"As if we didn't fuckin' know that," Hidan muttered, shifting his grip on a bored-looking Sasori.
Konan kicked him in the side. "Shut up!" As Hidan bitched about the bruise in his ribcage she cleared her throat and continued on. "Kisame and I will go over and start something with Pein. After all, I do know that idiot best. He gets angry over everything," she laughed.
Sasori nodded. "So I guess that leaves me with Deidara. I doubt Itachi's going to get riled up over something stupid."
"Hey!" Hidan looked at Konan. "What about me?"
Konan blinked. "What about you?"
"Never-fucking-mind."
The group of four wandered over to stand beside the Red Team, giving them haughty looks before looking towards Zetsu and Tobi for the signal to start.
Pein had his hands placed around Kakuzu's neck in the oddest way. As if he was going to strangle him. But that was ridiculous, because the point of the exercise was to fill each member with a feeling of fuzzy happiness. Nevermind the dark aura rising off the orange-haired man and the infinite amount of tick marks plastered to the back of his head.
"Good thing you're not running," Kakuzu breezily said. "Just watching you do anything other than sitting and walking is an abomination to my eyes."
"Kakuzu," Pein started to say. "Unless you want to die with your throat ripped out, I suggest you shut up."
"Whatever."
"I JUST SAID TO SHUT UP!"
Itachi sighed at his teammates' bickering. Sometimes his leader could be such a child…
"I don't believe this un," Deidara grouched from his position on top Itachi, loosely hanging his arms around his neck. The bastard was gripping his legs tight enough to pop them off.
Itachi turned his head slightly. "If I were you- I'd hold on."
Deidara scowled, grumpily crossing his arms and falling right off Itachi's back.
Itachi gave him a bored look. "I told you to hold on."
"Shut up you!" Deidara yelled, reluctantly hopping back onto Itachi who immediately latched on to his legs to keep him from falling.
"If your foot falls off, it won't be my fault," Itachi muttered.
"Just pay attention to Tobi," the blonde muttered back.
The masked man did a small jig around Zetsu before waving his flags down.
And the race for victory was on!
A/N: Bets, bets, place your bets for the satisfaction of knowing you were right~
Until next time :D
