"Um, Dwalin,"
Dwalin blinked, trying to focus his eyes as he returned to the present. "What is it, Laddie?" he asked, as he regarded Fili, one of the sons he wished had been his.
"Where did you want us to make camp?" Fili asked with eyes eager to please. "We're past Dale, but not quite half-way to Laketown."
"Kili!" Dwalin called to the other boy he wished were his, as well.
Kili rode up on Dwalin's other side, smiling. "Yes?"
"How long until sunset," Dwalin quizzed.
"Oh…uh, let's see," Kili hesitated, as he looked west. Then glancing at Fili, he smiled. Kili raised his hand toward the setting sun. Dwalin whipped his head around to catch Fili sheepishly, lowering his arm. "I'd say we have about half an hour before sunset," Kili reported, proudly.
"Very good...Fili," Dwalin growled.
"I'm Kili," Kili reminded.
"I know," Dwalin smirked. The brother's exchanged a glance. "All right, let's look for a place to set up camp." Kili spotted a campsite that would be protected against the wind on one side by a cliff. "We'll bivouac tonight," Dwalin informed Fili and Kili.
"What? Why?" Kili asked.
"But we brought a tent," Fili contended.
"Aye, we did, but we're not using it tonight," Dwalin repeated. "It's a clear, warm night and I want an early start tomorrow."
Kili shrugged as he dismounted. He was out in the fresh air and Fili was with him; he had no complaints. Kili gathered kindling and stones so Fili could build a fire pit. As Dwalin helped Fili make a fire, Kili gathered more wood. Satisfied with his load, Kili headed back to camp. Fili was absorbed with feeding a small flame. Kili dumped his load right next to Fili.
"Oi!" Fili cried startled.
Kili laughed, but stopped abruptly. "Did you hear that?"
"Sounds like a barn owl," Fili observed.
"Or a screech owl," Kili contended. Kili jumped, as Dwalin responded with his own series of screeches and hoots. "Someone's out there," Kili whispered, reaching for his bow and quiver.
"Aye, Laddie," Dwalin answered. "There is." Kili gasped, as Thorin strode into the camp.
"Thorin!" Fili exclaimed happily. Quickly recomposing himself, Fili asked, "What are you doing here?"
Kili caught Thorin glance quickly at Dwalin, as Thorin hesitated. "What?" Kili prodded.
Thorin sighed, "Let's eat first." Thorin sat across from nephews. Taking a spit from Dwalin, he starting roasting his dinner. "Um…" Thorin began, staring into the fire. He looked up at his nephews, studying both their faces. "I don't think it's safe for you in Erebor. My f-…the king has fallen under some spell or power, I know not which." He hesitated. "I think it best if we leave. This same madness seems to have hold in the Iron Hills, as well."
"Where would we go?" Fili inquired, as Dwalin handed him and his brother roasting spits, as well.
"I can't tell you that, not just yet." Thorin glanced at Dwalin and Kili, before gazing at the fire.
"What about Mum?" Kili demanded, angrily, "and Uncle Frerin?"
"Yer uncle commands the Axe Wielders and is very 'appy with them," Dwalin grumbled, roasting his own dinner.
"I'm not sure about your mum," Thorin mumbled, "not anymore…" Catching Kili's wide-eyed gaze, he amended, "I mean she's safe…She'll be fine."
"But shouldn't we at least tell her," Kili argued. "We are her sons." Kili looked to his brother for help, but Fili simply stared at the crackling flames.
"Kili, it is your choice whether you stay or come with us," Thorin acknowledged. "Dwalin will see you to the Iron Hills, if that is your wish."
"And Fili," Kili added, hotly. "He might want to stay, too. What gives you the right to make decisions for us? Just because mum's gone, doesn't mean…"
"Kili," Thorin called, firmly. Catching Fili's eyes across the fire, blue meeting blue, Thorin continued. "There are some things I think you should know." Sighing, he took a deep breath before continuing, "The king passed some very bad laws today…"
"Yeah," Kili snorted, "We know." Hurriedly, he added, "But Fili has a pass now."
"He shouldn't need one!" Dwalin barked.
"I know!" Kili yelled back, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder. "But you're talking about leaving our home…our family…"
"Fili's pass isn't valid," Thorin interrupted. "It's signed by me; but the law says it has to be signed by a parent."
"Then we'll go and get Mum to sign it." Kili argued. "I don't see why we…"
"She disowned me," Fili muttered, miserably, poking his spit around in the fire.
"SHE DID WHAT?!" Dwalin roared, standing. "It's bad enough she denied 'er One, but 'er own son! By Mahal! I will…" Dwalin stopped, noticing his three companions staring at him. He sat. "I mean…I'm sorry, Fili…truly I am…" he trailed off, studying his tattooed knuckles, as he flexed his fists.
The rest of supper was eaten in silence. After setting his spit aside, Fili pulled out his bed roll and crawled in. He couldn't wait for the day to be over. His brother, who still hadn't said anything, laid his bedroll out right next to his. Kili lied down and stared at his brother, Fili closed his eyes. He wasn't ready for that conversation yet. He heard Kili sigh. Fili reached out and grabbed Kili's tunic, at least his brother wasn't going anywhere tonight. Fili closed his eyes, but before he could fall asleep he heard Thorin say softly, "I had no idea."
"It wasn't my place to say," Dwalin replied, gazing towards Fili and Kili.
"I never believed Fimur was her One," Thorin added.
"Shh!" Dwalin hushed. "The lads might 'ear."
Thorin chuckled, "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
"Aye," Dwalin sighed, "I just can't believe that Dis could…do what she did."
"I'm sure she did what she thought she had to."
Dwalin poked at the fire. "Do you think Kili will choose to stay?"
"I don't know," Thorin sighed, glancing at his nephews.
"If he goes with you, then I'm coming, too."
"You'd be a traitor, Dwalin. I can't allow you to do that."
"I've spent my life watching out for those boys," Dwalin protested. "I joined the Royal Guards so I could be close if they ever needed me. They need me now more than ever." Fili stared over at Dwalin. He really hadn't known what to think of Dwalin's announcement, but he was starting to make sense of things.
"What about Balin? The other law they passed today says that if a dwarf is a traitor, their whole family can be held accountable," Thorin explained. "The law isn't very specific; what if they extend the meaning and go after Oin and Gloin."
"Why don't you just take the throne?" Dwalin demanded. "Set everything right."
"You mean kill my own father?" Thorin asked, angrily.
Dwalin held his hands up defensively, "Ye know I don't mean that. Couldn't we just lock 'im in with the treasure? 'e'd be 'appy. We'd be 'appy."
Thorin chuckled, sadly. "You know, I still remember the last time Thranduil came to Erebor. He had come to pick up a box of white jewels, for which we had made settings. My grandfather had a dwarf present the box to Thranduil, just to slam it shut in his face. It infuriated the elves. Afterwards, I accompanied my father to Dale. My father lamented the growing hostilities between our people and the elves. He promised that when he was king, things would be different…" Thorin hesitated, "But he changed, just as his father had." Looking at Dwalin, he admitted sadly, "I'm afraid of the same thing happening to me. Why should I be any different?"
Dwalin smiled, "Oh, but yer already different. Look at the path ya've chosen. Ya've given up yer birthright. And for what?" Dwalin prodded, motioning towards Fili and Kili.
Thorin studied his friend. "I hope you're right," he sighed.
Fili finally fell asleep, hoping his brother would come with them. The next morning he awoke to find Kili gone. Fili bolted up, glancing around. Dwalin was making breakfast, while Thorin packed bedding. "Where's Kili?" Fili demanded.
"Easy, lad," Dwalin answered. "'e went to wash in the stream over there." Fili nodded and walked off in that direction. Turning to Thorin, Dwalin asked, "Will Fili go with ya if Kili doesn't?" Thorin only shrugged as he continued his work.
Fili found his brother by the stream sitting on a rock with his head in his arms. "Kili?" Fili asked.
Kili looked up, tears welling in his eyes. "I can't…" he sobbed, shaking his head. "I can't leave her…she's still my mum…our mum…I'm s-sorry." Fili nodded sadly, turning to go. "Fili!" Kili called, "You…you could come with me...please."
Fili shook his head, "I-I can't" and headed back to camp. His brother was leaving him. No, he was leaving his brother. Fili punched a tree and sank to his knees, pulling at his hair—the cause of so much grief. If only it had been brown like his brother's maybe none of this would be happening. Looking up through the canopy, Fili calmed his breathing. They had to head out soon; he would be needed. He picked himself up, quickly wiping his eyes, he headed back to camp.
Breakfast was eaten quickly and quietly. All too soon Fili was on his grey alongside his uncle's bay. "Goodbye and good luck," Dwalin said, noting Kili's silence.
"Goodbye, Mr. Dwalin," Fili responded. Hesitantly, he added, "Thank you for everything." Dwalin's eyes widened, wondering if Fili had heard his and Thorin's conversation last night. Dwalin simply nodded. Having secured the pack pony, Thorin mounted and kicked his pony, heading south. Fili shot one last look at his brother, before following his uncle.
Dwalin and Kili sat on their ponies watching them go. "Come on laddie," Dwalin prodded, turning his sorrel northwards. "Let's get you home."
Kili pulled his pony around as well, but stopped, gazing towards the Lonely Mountain. "I can't do this," Kili moaned, he looked up to see Dwalin smiling at him.
"Get goin', Laddie," he said, "I'll let yer Mum know yer bein' looked after."
Kili smiled, reining his palomino around, kicking her into a run.
Hearing pounding behind him, Thorin turned in the saddle. Smiling, he nudged Fili. Fili glimpsed behind as Kili reigned up. "I'm coming with you," Kili announced. He was rewarded with Fili's biggest smile and a crushing hug, which almost knocked him off his pony. The three Durins waved back at Dwalin once more before turning their backs on their past.
