Do I Even Matter to You at All?

"So why won't you tell us what your new specialty is gonna be?" Cana emptied her flask into her mouth.

"I want to do some research on it first," Lucy said, clasping her hands behind her back as they walked down the sidewalk. "Since it's just an idea I have, I want to see what it would take for me to be able to do it."

"It concerns me that you found the motivation for it in a sex shop," Levy admitted.

"Hold up," Natsu turned towards her, eyes wide. "That was a sex shop?"

Levy and Lucy sighed.

"Say Lucy," Erza said, carrying three bags full of costumes she had bought from the store, "Today is your one month anniversary isn't it?"

Lucy glanced at her, "Yeah. I joined Fairy Tail exactly one month ago."

Cana whooped, "You know what that means!"

"Eh?"

"To Reedus' house!" Erza and Levy exclaimed, pointing down the street.

"Reedus?" Lucy cocked an eyebrow. "The art teacher at Fairy Tail? Why are we going to his house?"

"C'mon Lucy!" Natsu grabbed her hand, "You're finally gonna be one of us!"

"But… haven't I been one of you all along?"

Gray said, "Tradition dictates that we wait a month until you really become a student of Fairy Tail."

"I don't…"

"Just c'mon!" everyone raced down the sidewalk, pulling the confused blonde with them.


"Does it still hurt?" Levy asked, eying the pink, fresh symbol on Lucy's right hand.

The blonde lifted it, "Not really. It's a little sore… but I barely notice it anymore."

"Hey Lucy, I'm gonna order the steak, that okay?" Cana closed her menu and passed it to the waiter.

"Me too," Gray did the same.

The waiter moved to Erza. She rubbed her chin as she browsed the menu in her hands. "Hm… I can't decide between these three dishes. How about you bring me all of them and I'll give the leftovers to Natsu?"

The waiter jotted down her order and moved to Natsu, who started reading off half of the menu, practically drooling in anticipation.

Lucy sighed, "I don't know how I ended up offering to pay for everyone…"

Levy chuckled, "Are you going to be able to afford it? I could help if you can't…"

"Oh I can afford it," she took a sip of her water.

"Oh yeah? Is your family rich, Lu-chan?"

She choked on her water. Natsu turned and started pounding her on the back as she sputtered and coughed into her napkin. When she gained control once more, she waved Natsu off and he went back to ordering. She turned to Levy, "N-no! We're not… my family is average! I… I just have some money saved up, that's all! We… we live in a normal house and—"

"Wow," Levy cocked an eyebrow, "Calm down. I was just wondering."

Lucy blushed and looked away.

"Anyway, I thought blue was your favorite color?"

"Hm?" Lucy glanced back up at the blunette, taking another sip of water. "Yeah. It is."

"Then why pink?" she gestured at the symbol on her hand.

Lucy choked on her water once more. Natsu beat on her back again and she had to push him away. Levy smirked.

"I… I just thought it would look nice on my skin!" Lucy nearly shouted. "P-pink is a great color!"

"Hmhm," she leaned forward, "It is. Don't you think so, Natsu?"

Lucy's cheeks blazed as the boy cocked his head to the side, "Huh?"

"Aren't you curious as to why Lucy picked pink, of all colors to—"

"Miss, what would you like to order?" the waiter moved to Lucy's side.

"Spaghetti!" she slammed the menu shut and passed it over. "Spaghetti please!"

"Coming right up," he jotted down her order and left the table.

Levy giggled mischievously but dropped the subject of the blonde's pink tattoo.

"So Lucy," Erza leaned on her elbows on the table and smiled, "how does it feel finally being an official member of Fairy Tail?"

"It feels wonderful," Lucy held her right hand up and stared fondly at the school's symbol. "Although…" she lowered it, uncertainty crossing her face. "I wonder how my dad is going to take it…"

"Oh yeah…" Gray said. His shirt had conveniently disappeared, revealing his tattoo. "I forgot that you actually have someone that you're supposed to get permission about these things from…"

"Will he be mad at you?" Levy asked.

She bit her lip for a few seconds before smiling cheerfully, "I don't think so. He might be a little surprised… and give me a short lecture on asking permission before I act so spontaneously… but he won't be mad."

"That's good to hear," Erza smiled.

"Yeah…" Lucy turned her eyes to the table.

Natsu watched her silently.


"I'm home!" Lucy closed the front door behind her and kicked her shoes off.

"Welcome back," Leo walked down the hallway, dressed in his usual black suit. "You're later than usual. Did you do something with your friends?"

Lucy paused, mind flashing back to her adventure in the sex shop earlier. She covered her face with her hand momentarily, "Please, don't remind me."

Leo's fingers wrapped around her wrist. She glanced up at him as he pulled her hand towards him. His eyes flicked behind his blue tinted sunglasses as he examined the new tattoo on her skin. She gulped.

"Hm," he stared at it for long seconds before releasing her. She stepped away. He fixed her with his eyes, "You know I'll have to tell Jude about this."

She avoided his stare, "Don't bother," she moved around him into the hallway. "I'll just tell him myself."

She went into her father's office and closed the door behind her. Jude looked up from his place behind his desk. He had deep, dark bags under his eyes and his hair and clothes were disheveled. A bright smile spread across his lips and he straightened.

"Lucy!" he set his pen down. "How was school? Did you go somewhere afterwards with your friends?"

She walked straight up to the desk and thrust her right hand in front of him, "I got a tattoo today."

Jude stared at the pink Fairy Tail symbol for long seconds. He swallowed and leaned back in his chair. Lucy dropped her arm to her side and glared silently at the man as he collected himself.

Finally, he said with a tight voice, "Where did you find an artist willing to tattoo an underage girl without her parent's permission?"

"Doesn't matter. I got it. So say what you want to say and get it over with."

Jude stood. He turned to the window on the wall behind him looking out into the backyard.

Long seconds ticked by before Lucy let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Just say it! I don't have all day!"

Jude whirled around and slammed his palms down on the desk, "HAVE YOU EVER ONCE CONSIDERED HOW YOUR ACTIONS WILL AFFECT OTHERS?"

Lucy took a step back, eyes growing wide.

Jude's face was twisted with anger. He pushed away from the desk, "Tch." He ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "Of course you haven't…"

"I…" Lucy gulped. "I have…"

"No," he glared at her. "You haven't. Lucy… we have a certain level of standing that we must uphold as a family. Your first duty is to your family. Have you forgotten that?"

"Fairy Tail is my family!" she exploded, throwing her arms out wide.

Jude's voice lowered, "And what of me?"

She clamped her mouth shut and took another step back.

"What am I, Lucy?" he sat down once more and started shuffling his papers. "I'm just an annoying old man that controls your life, right? Do I even matter to you at all?"

She couldn't speak. She stared at him silently, mouth dry.

He sighed and held his face in his hands. "I need to get back to work. Please… leave me."

Lucy bit the inside of her cheek and turned. She pushed out of the office, pulling the door shut behind her. Leo was waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

She froze when she saw him, wiping at the tears that escaped her eyes.

He watched her for a few moments before letting out a long sigh. "He's working himself ragged for you, you know? To secure you with a good future."

She glared at him, "I never asked him to do—"

"You shouldn't have to ask," he straightened away from the wall and dropped his palm down on the top of her head. "He's your dad. It's his job." He ruffled her hair gently before turning and walking down the hallway.

Lucy wiped her tears quietly for long seconds before running off to her room.


"Whatcha watchin', Lucy?" Natsu peered over the girl's shoulder as she stared intently at the screen of her laptop.

"Videos on how to use a bullwhip," she replied, not even bothering to chide the boy about breaking into her room.

"What for?"

"I'm thinking about making it my new specialty," she sat back and looked up at him, smiling softly. "When my dad was younger, he used to be really into the rodeo stuff. He used to spend hours in the backyard knocking out bottles and cans with his bullwhip. I loved to watch him do it. But then…" her smile faded and she turned forward again. "Well… after my mom died… Dad threw himself into his work. He didn't really seem to have the time to play around after that…"

Natsu sat down on the bed next to her. "Hm…" he watched as the man in the video cracked a chain whip through an aluminum can, slicing it in half, causing a soda pop explosion. A grin stretched across his face, "I think that's super cool, Lucy! You should definitely do that!"

"You think so?" she smiled shyly.

"Yeah!"

Relief flooded her chest and she brightened, "And then… I was thinking… if I get good enough, I can even enter to compete in the national whip cracking championships!"

"Is that a real thing?"

"Yes!" she frowned at him. "Hundreds of people compete every year! I did research on it earlier. It's a very well-known competition. And it's fairly easy to qualify. I just have to perform a self-choreographed routine for a group of judges. If they think I'm good enough, I get to move to the next round!"

Natsu grinned, "And I can help! I'll be your back-up dancer!"

Lucy laughed, "No way!"

"I'll catch something on fire!"

"Noooooo!"

"OH!" his eyes went wild, "WHAT IF WE LIT YOUR WHIP ON FIRE?"

Lucy was about to protest, but then paused, "You know… that might actually be really cool…"

"It would be totally cool!"

She giggled, "Alright. But I am a total beginner, so that'll have to wait until after I get better, okay?"

"Aye Sir!" He grinned cheekily before finally noticing the blotchiness of the skin under her bloodshot eyes. His grin faded and he cocked his head to the side. "You been cryin' Lucy?"

She looked away, "No."

He leaned forward, "You sure? 'Cause it sure looks like—"

"I said no, didn't I?" she snapped.

Silence stretched between them. After a while, she sighed. "I'm sorry. I…"

There was a light knock at the door.

Lucy scampered off the bed and grabbed Natsu's arm, pulling him with her.

"Wh-who is it?" she called as she looked around for a place to hide the pink haired intruder.

"It's me," Leo's voice replied.

Lucy dragged Natsu towards her bathroom. "What do you want?" She pushed the boy through the doorway.

"Can I use your bathroom?" Leo asked.

Lucy yanked Natsu back into the room.

"Cap and Scorpio are both using the others and it's kind of an emergency…"

She dragged Natsu back to her bed and pushed him to his knees. He slid underneath and she draped the blankets over to hide him.

"Uhm, sure. Come on in," Lucy climbed on top of the bed once more, sitting cross-legged in front of her laptop. It wasn't until Leo was twisting the door handle that she noticed the blue cat lounging on top of her dresser on the wall next to the bathroom door. Her eyes went wide.

Leo entered the room. "Thanks," he rushed to the bathroom and closed himself inside, completely disregarding the slumbering animal.

Lucy leapt off of the bed and ran to Happy. She popped her underwear drawer open and shoved him inside, earning a surprised meow from him as she slid the drawer shut.

The door of the bathroom opened again and Leo walked out. Lucy whirled to him.

He cocked an eyebrow, "Were you listening to me pee?"

"No!"

"It's fine. I just… didn't realize you had such a weird fetish is all."

"Oh shut up!" she crossed her arms over her chest.

He watched her for a few seconds before saying, "We need to talk."

She straightened at the serious tone of his voice. "About what?"

He gave her a hard stare and then took her arm. He led her back to the bed and the two of them sat down.

She gulped and clasped her hands in her lap.

"That job I went on a few weeks ago…"

She looked away.

"It was to see Byro."

"I already know that."

"And you're not curious as to how my negotiations went?"

"Why would I be?" she gritted her teeth.

"Because out of everyone in the family, you are the one that will be affected the most by this decision."

"I know that too."

"So then you don't want to hear how it went?"

She didn't answer.

Leo's face softened, "He agreed."

Lucy's heart twisted in her chest. It felt as if an iron fist had clamped down on her lungs. She stared across the room at the open sliding door leading out to her balcony.

"He and Jude have been busy negotiating the terms of the merger all month. The boss hasn't gotten much sleep these past few weeks, in case you haven't noticed…"

"So that's great, isn't it?" she turned back to him, blinking away the tears that formed in her eyes. "You guys are getting what you wanted. Others would kill to land the deal you've made. Congratulations."

"Lucy…"

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she stood, turning away from him.

Leo stood and wrapped his arms around her, leaning his forehead on her hair. She covered her face as she lost control of the tears pushing at the dams of her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's great, isn't it?" she sobbed, chest heaving. "The family will be secure for the rest of our lives…"

"I'm sorry Lucy…"

Natsu draped his arm over his eyes, clenching his jaw tight. It took every ounce of self-control he had to keep himself under that bed. The sounds of Lucy's sadness were like daggers to his heart. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close and silence her cries. Why should he have to hide when his friend was hurting?

"Lucy," Leo said. "You know you don't have to—"

She pulled away from him, "Yes I do."

"No you don't!" he argued. "You have the right to back out. No one is forcing you—"

"I made a promise," she went to the door and opened it. "And I always follow through on my promises. Now please… leave me alone. I need my sleep."

Leo stared at her for long seconds.

"Please Loke. Go away."

He sighed and passed her into the hall. Lucy closed the door behind him and went to her dresser. She pulled the top drawer open and stared down at the cat blinking lethargically up at her.

"Sorry Happy," she whispered. "You can come out now."

He stood and stretched, arching his back. Natsu crawled out from under the bed and sat cross-legged on the floor, watching as she lifted the cat from the drawer, gently prying the underwear he hooked from his claws and dropping them back inside. She set him down on the floor and then turned, leaning back against the drawer to shut it. She avoided looking at Natsu for long seconds.

Eventually her eyes found his relentless stare. She gulped.

"Please don't ask me."

He climbed to his feet and walked over to her. She swiped at the new tears that started to fall.

"I… I don't want to talk about it. Please don't ask what—"

Without a word, he slid his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. Lucy gratefully sunk into his overwhelming heat, wrapping her arms around his waist. She buried her nose in the soft folds of his scarf.

"I won't ask," Natsu murmured after a minute. "But I'll be here. We all will. Everyone at Fairy Tail is your family now. If you ever need anyone to talk to, or to just be nearby as you cry… we'll be here."

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut and clutched him tight, "Thank you, Natsu."

He rested his chin on her hair, "Anytime."


"You wanted to talk to me, Erza?" Natsu slumped down on the couch in the student council room.

Erza stood from behind her desk, "Yes, thank you for coming to see me."

"Nah," he stacked his hands behind his head and stretched his legs out. "I wasn't doin' much."

She nodded and moved around to stand in front of him, leaning back on the desk with her arms crossed over her chest.

Natsu cocked an eyebrow as she remained silent.

"Something wrong?"

She sighed, "I'm not sure…"

"What'd you bring me in here for?"

"I'm concerned about Lucy," she admitted.

Natsu turned his eyes to the window on the left wall of the room.

"For a few weeks now her grades have been dropping… she doesn't join in on class discussions, she's been caught sleeping in class on more than one occasion… I'm worried about her well-being."

Natsu didn't reply.

"You're her closest friend here at Fairy Tail. Has she said anything to you?"

He shrugged, "Maybe she's sick."

She shook her head, "I had her check in with Porlyusica the other day. Except for her obvious sleep deprivation she said that there was nothing physically wrong with her."

Natsu stared at his feet quietly.

Erza sighed again. "I'm really worried about her. It's apparent that there is something going on in her personal life that is keeping her up at night. I've asked her about it but she always waves me off. I was hoping that she had opened up to you."

"She's fine," Natsu insisted. "If she says she's fine, then she's fine. I trust her."

Erza smiled, "Well… if you insist. You would know best." She straightened away from the desk, "Still… it'd be nice if she got the opportunity to relax. Maybe get away from whatever is stressing her out so much. If only for just a weekend." The phone on her desk rang and she lifted it. She spoke through the receiver for a few seconds and then hung up. "I have to go help Mirajane. Thanks for coming to talk with me," she grabbed her blazer from the back of the rolling chair behind the desk and left the room.

Natsu leaned forward and rubbed his face with his hands, sighing.

Of course it wasn't fine. No matter how many times Lucy waved it off as nothing, Natsu could tell that her father's 'merger' was weighing heavy on her mind. She had bought several bullwhips of different lengths and material but barely had the energy to practice with them. He probably spent more time playing around with them than she did. And whenever he asked if she was okay, she insisted she was and begged him not to ask again.

But how was he supposed to just accept that? She was miserable. He could tell. And it just wasn't in Natsu's nature to sit back and watch his friend suffer. Not without trying his best to fix whatever problem she faced.

He just didn't know what the problem was yet. He was trying to be patient. To let her come to him and spill her story without coercion. But she was reluctant to open up to anyone. She seemed content to wallow in her own depression with neither help nor comfort.

And Natsu just wasn't okay with that.

The phone on the desk rang.

He glanced towards the door and then back.

RIIIIIIiiiiiing

RiiiiiiiIIIIng

Natsu stood and went to the desk. He lifted the phone and pressed it to his ear.

"What's up?" he answered casually, grabbing a pen and notepad from the drawer, deciding to take a message and leave it on the desk for Erza to find later.

"Moshimoshi! Is this Fairy Tail's student council office?"

"Yep," Natsu clicked the pen, planting his butt on the desk.

"Excellent. My name is Chiron. I am calling on behalf of the Galuna Island Resort."

"Hmhm," Natsu jotted the names down apathetically.

"The resort's owner, Moka would like to extend an offer to Fairy Tail's student council."

"Alright."

"This weekend is the resort's monthly full moon festival. For several months now, we have been having troubles bringing in the crowds we once did. This is a big problem, you see, because the Full Moon Festival was our busiest weekend in the past. It was when we made our most profit, you see."

"Yeah."

"But now… we are having troubles staying afloat. That is why we are contacting you. We have heard of your president, Miss Erza Scarlet, and how she has helped many organizations like ours. We were hoping that we may receive some of that help."

"Hm…" Natsu finished writing the note down and then started to explain that he was not a part of the council, "Well the thing is—"

"We are offering a free room for you to stay in as well as money for travel and food."

"—Our president is busy that weekend, but if it's okay with you, I can come in her place."

"Excellent!"

"And I'll probably bring another person with me."

"Perfect! Bring as many as you need! Oh thank you so much. This is will be such a huge help for us."

Natsu grinned, "Don't mention it. It's nothing, really."