I don't want Season 8 to be the last of House... Damn Fox. It sucks enough already, do they really want to make it suck more?

Although I live in Finland, I've seen Fox's censorship do it's works on media -_-

This chapter contains some sarcastic House/Masters – father/child bonding.

Disclaimer: I don't own House MD.


At House's:

Wilson was walking the hallway to House's apartment. The clock was already 11:50 am and House should already be working. He hadn't answered any calls.

Wilson was about to open the door, but it was already standing ajar. Inside he noticed that the wall was cracked. He first checked the bathroom and then went to check the bedroom. He was relieved to find House sleeping. He hit House in the shoulder, making him wake up.

"Cuddy's worried about you."

"She should have something else to worry about." House said in a weary voice.

"Let me guess, a man two times younger than you sitting completely naked in her dining room."

"That, Rachel and the whole hospital. But especially that."

"What were you doing there that late anyway?"

"I was going to join them for some group sex, but I changed my mind."

"Do you really think she's dating this guy?"

"You should know that, as you seemingly talked to Cuddy."

"She won't tell me, but I'm pretty sure she has a good explanation."

"If she doesn't tell you, the reason probably isn't private and probably has nothing to do with sex."

"Then it isn't our business. Well, at least not mine. Wait a minute..."

"I know what you're going to say." House said in an irritated voice.

"You were there for your relationship. Didn't you agree when I said that you should hold on to what you have now?"

"I did, but I changed my mind." House rose up from his bed, took his cane and started walking towars the front door, Wilson following right behind.

"You went to Cuddy and told her that it doesn't matter what you are, as long as you are something, right?"

"Yup."

They arrived at House's car.

"And now you want to be more again? You can't play around with Cuddy's heart like this!"

"I'm the one who's playing?"

"You both are! First, Cuddy dumps you. She clearly regrets it but doesn't want to admit the mistake she made. Then you finally decide to move on, but later regret it. Then you're too late as she starts dating some wierd jerk neither one of us had met before."

"Cuddy dating a wierd jerk? Sounds familiar." House opened the driver seat door and sat down. "She realized that our relationship is never going to work, so she stopped loving me and found herself a new jerk."

Wilson smiled. "People can't just suddenly stop loving each other. I know she still loves you."

"She cares about me, but doesn't love me. If she did, she wouldn't have even touched anyone else."

Wilson laughed. "Whatever. What are you going to do about it? Avoid Cuddy?"

"Good idea. Just like always." House shut the door and drove towards PPTH.


At the diagnostics office:

House walked in. "Sorry I'm late. Tried out some traditional cost-free therapy. Do we have a new case?"

"It's the urticaria patient. She returned almost right after we released her." Foreman said.

"Is the ER busy?" House asked.

"No." Taub said.

"Then why is an addict like her brought here?"

"She didn't take any pills, but the urticaria returned twice as bad as before, with throath swelling." Chase said.

"I thought this case was solved too easily. Did she take anything else before she left?"

"Nothing." Foreman said.

"Actually, I saw her drink some water before she left." Masters said.

"Did she put Biguanide there?" House said.

"No..."

"Then it's not valuable information. We need to convince that woman she's dying because of those pills."

"What if..." Masters started.

"It's not the water, my dear child."

"B-but it can be, aquagenic urticaria." Masters continued.

"She's right. Water allergy could explain why the symptoms seemed to come out of thin air." Foreman said.

House nodded. "Our little baby has grown. Treat with antihistamine and keep her off water. We'll see if that helps." Foreman, Chase and Taub left, but House grabbed Masters in a tight hug.

"You know, I'm going to miss you when you leave, our little darling."

"You are?"

"Of course. Who wouldn't miss their child when she leaves?"

Masters plucked up courage and said: "I... I can stay."

"Really?"

"If it's okay to you." House released Masters. "You don't want me to?"

"Don't you want to be a surgeon?"

"I thought I did, but... I've liked it here."

"Welcome to team then."

"You let me stay?"

"It takes more than just one good realization to impress me. I wouldn't let you, but Cuddy will."

"If you don't want me to..."

"Whatever. Let's go meet our patient together, I'm putting you through a little test."


In the patient's room:

"Water allergy? It's not possible." Sarah (the patient) questioned the diagnosis.

"It often comes when you're old." Chase said and gave the patient the pills. "It's antihistamine again. It's going to ease the symptoms. Then we'll need to keep you away from water for some time."

"What if I'm thirsty?"

"It's just a few hours." Taub said. House walked in with Masters.

"Our little baby wants to join the team." House said and grabbed Masters to his arms.

"That's nice to hear." Foreman said.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Sarah asked. House was about to answer, but Sarah continued: "She seems a little too young for you. But what I'm to say, I've only been in one relationship during my whole life."

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my child."

"That wasn't funny at all. Good luck for you two anyway. Is there any other way to test this water allergy?"

"You can always drink half a gallon of water at once, but it comes with consequences."

"Such as?"

"A need to go to the bathroom all the time and worse allergic symptoms."

Sarah sighed. "Fine."

"So, now it's time for your test." House said to Masters. "We need to know if you're social enough. Go talk to the patient and find out everything you can."

"B-but why?"

"B-because if you want my acceptance, you'll have to deserve it. Now go." House pushed Masters forward and everybody's gaze turned at her.

Masters went nearer Sarah and said: "Hi."

"Hi. Your boyfriend-boss doesn't seem to be amongst the best of people. Why are you even with him?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

Sarah laughed. "It's hard to believe. So, he told you to find something about me. Ask anything you want to."

"Umm... well..."

"Don't be shy."

"I..."

House smiled. "The test is over. You failed."

"So I don't get your acceptance?"

"I'll need to consider it." House said. At the same moment Sarah vomited three times followed by one vomit of blood. Her heart monitor started beeping rapidly. The team rushed to her.

"Heart rate 123, BP is dropping." Chase said.

"W-what is happening to me?" Sarah asked.

"You got lucky." House said.

"I did?"

"It's not water allergy. You can drink water as much as you want to."


Back to the diagnostics office:

"Urticaria twice and now hematemesis." House repeated the symptoms.

"Hematemesis can be explained by the rapid vomiting." Masters said.

"But what explains the rapid vomiting?" Taub said.

"Fifth disease?" Masters suggested.

"Almost all adults have antibodies for it in their bodies." Foreman said.

"She must've taken something." House said. The others looked at him. "It's a severe allergic reaction. She hides Biguanide somewhere."

"Aren't we supposed to look for some other explanation?" Foreman said.

"There's no other explanation. Go search every corner of her room for those Biguanides."

"We just came back! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me and wouldn't be with our patient if she stopped taking those drugs. Do as I say, or be fired." The team left back to the patient irritated.

House stood up and threw his cane into the air. He tried to grab it as it fell but he missed it as he stepped back due to an awful pain in his leg. He looked at his leg shocked. He has never had this awful pain since the day he started taking Vicodin.

Cuddy came in. "I should be avoiding you, but I can't because of this annoying leg." House said.

"What do you really want?"

"At the moment I'm hungry, so a sandwich would be nice."

"You came to my place to talk about our relationship yesterday, didn't you?" Cuddy walked towards House smiling a little.

"No, why do you think so?"

"You wouldn't have left so quickly if it wasn't about it."

"You say that it isn't akward to come to have a little chat with your own ex and find her and some wierd jerk completely naked drinking coffee?"

"Isn't it akward to come to your ex's place at 11:50 pm to talk about nothing important?"

"I didn't say it wasn't important."

"What was it then?" House sighed. "You can tell me now. There's no one listening here."

"Are you dating him?"

"Just a one night thing."

"Good. I couldn't imagine you dating someone twice as young as you. I couldn't even imagine you in bed with him. But especially, a one night thing? What's wrong with you?"

"Get straight to the point."

"I'd ruin everything."

"So it's about the relationship isn't it?"

House stood up and yelled: "What's with your addiction to our relationship?"

"Addiction? You are the one who's addicted to it!" Cuddy yelled back at him.

"I'm not addicted! I'm trying, or actually was trying, to get us back together!"

"I don't want to be together with you! But I still want to be friends with you, so don't ruin this now."

"But I can't be just friends with you."

"You need me. And I need you too..."

"Why if you don't even love me anymore?"

Cuddy couldn't believe what she heard. "I have never said that..." She bit her lower lip. "You don't know how big tumor on my heart our past is!"

"Yeah, a cancer which probably will..." House paused as he realized what's wrong with the patient.

"You're not going to save your patient before we've finished..."

"We've finished! From now on we're just a boss and an employee." House walked out of his office and to Sarah's room, followed by Cuddy. The team was gathered around Sarah, whose pillow and blanket were soaked in blood. She was barely concious. They were preparing to take her to the OR.

"She vomited blood uncontrollably. It's suprising that she's still concious." Chase said.

"Do you know what she has?" Taub asked.

"Polycythemia vera. It made the aquagenic urticaria symptoms look worse than they actually were."

"And pepil ulcer caused by it also explains vomiting blood." Taub said.

"So now she has gastrointestinal bleeding. We need to take her to the OR immediately." Foreman said.

Sarah was lifted to the transport bed. "Y-y-you two..." Sarah said pointing at House and Masters. "Don't dump eachother too easily. I d-d-did that mistake and that's why I'm dying alone now."

"You're not dying yet. We'll get you to the OR." Masters said.

The team rushed out of the room. House looked at Cuddy. He walked to his own office and sat down. He opened up his computer and googled Online dating service.

He pressed register. It opened up a registration form. He filled in the basic details, but wrote Greg as his nickname instead of House.

"I hope you're not prescribing Vicodin for yourself." Cuddy said from the doorway. House didn't respond, so Cuddy walked to look at what House was doing on his computer. She smiled. "I like House better."

"That's why I'm going to use Greg. I don't want to use the same name my ex used to yell at me when we..." He didn't finish his sentence. He was about to press confirm, but Cuddy took his hand off the mouse. House looked at her.

"No one else will understand your humor."

"That's their problem."

"Seriously, a dating service?"

"I don't want to die alone."

"Neither do I." Cuddy strengthened her grip on House's hand. "Cancel that application."

"What if I don't?"

"I won't let you leave earlier today."

"Oh really? Now I'm going to commit suicide."

"I will if you don't cancel it now."

"There should be some rope on the cabinet."

Cuddy kept smiling. "I thought we both could leave a little earlier today."

"Let my hand go." Cuddy kept smiling at House. "Let it go."

"Either one of us has to put an end to this game." Cuddy pressed the power button of the computer making it shutdown.

"Hey, you might've broken it!"

"It's hospital budget." Cuddy came closer House. "I thought that after work you could come to see Rachel. She has been wondering where you are."

House smiled. "What is this?"

"Are you coming tonight or not?"

House considered for a second. "I think I am."


I'll cut this one here. Review.