Chapter VII: In Which the Writer's Arachnophobia Is In Overdrive
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The Hobbit was bound in something both dry and sticky as she was dragged across a large tree branch. Opening her eyes, Bramble was at first confused by what seemed to be cobwebs in her eyes. She certainly was not a fly; she remembered that much. Bramble also remembered multiple limbs taking her.
A spider bigger than Dwalin pulled Bramble deeper into the forest and up into the moss covered trees. The spider stopped and turned around. It came closer and closer…
Bramble remembered the sword in her hand and swung it up, stabbing through the webbing and into the spider. She yanked back, splitting the spider's guts. The Hobbit had enough movement to fling the spider off the branch and onto the watery floor of the swamp.
"Spiders! Why spiders? It even said it on the map! Of course it would be spiders," Bramble squealed in horror as she cut her way out of the web encasing her.
Bramble looked up and saw the Dwarves hanging from branches. She could see the outline of Bofur's hat. A spider began crawling up to the Dwarves.
"This is certainly an emergency," Bramble muttered while she slipped on the ring.
The Hobbit felt ill as soon as she put back on the ring. The forest was darker than ever and the air more oppressive. Worst of all, she could hear what the spiders said.
"Kill them. Kill them," one said.
"Eat them now!" another said.
Another added with glee, "Their hide is tough. There is good juice inside."
A Dwarf (most likely Bombur from what Bramble could see) began to try to kick at the spiders. "Stick it again! Stick it again! Finish it off!"
"Ahh! The meat is alive and kicking!"
"Kill them, kill them now. Let us feast."
The spiders began to chant "Feast". A spider skittered above Bramble, barely missing her. She could stand it no longer. Grabbing a piece of wood broken off the tree, she tossed it as far away from the Dwarves as she could.
All the spiders save for one rushed over to the sound. "What is it? What is it? Kill it! Feast! Feast!"
The lone spider poked Bombur. "Fat and juicy. Just a little taste."
It threw Bombur onto a thick tree branch and prepared to eat the Dwarf. Bramble moved as quietly as she could before slashing the spider's back.
The spider hissed and tried to find Bramble, but could not figure out where the Hobbit hid. Bramble cut off one of the spiders eight legs.
"Curses! Where is it? Where is it?" the spider screamed as Bramble continued slicing at the spider.
Bramble pulled off the ring and smiled. "Here!"
She shoved her sword into the spider's head.
"It stings! Stings!" the spider squealed.
Bramble pulled out her sword, allowing the spider to fall to the forest floor, dead.
"Don't. Touch. My. Friends," Bramble hissed.
She held up her sword and looked at it. "Dís was right. I do get to name it. Sting. That's a good name." She smiled manically as she looked at the Dwarves. "Sting. Let's go save the Dwarves in distress, shall we?"
Bramble cut Bombur out of her webbing. The Dwarf only had a knife, but they both went to work to get the other Dwarves down. By the time Bramble and Bombur worked on cutting the Company out of their bonds, the Dwarves were awake and cursing.
Bifur hit the spongey swamp ground harder than the rest, so Bombur went down to help her cousin. By the time Bramble had finished cutting down the Dwarves, she could hear Bofur saying, "Where's Bramble?"
All the Dwarves looked around for their Hobbit in concern. "Bramble!" "Professor!" "BURGLAR!" (The last one was probably Thorin angry his burglar had done something stupid, again. Bramble made a note to avoid him for a little bit until his wrath cooled.)
"I'm up here!" Bramble said.
A spider jumped at Bramble, knocking her from the branch she stood on. She stabbed it, but she went down with the spider to the forest floor.
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"There's more of them!" Ori shouted.
"Circle, now!" Thorin commanded.
The Dwarves pulled out their guns, axes, and swords.
"Steady… steady," Thorin said as he took aim at a spider with orange markings, "FIRE!"
The Dwarves took down three spiders immediately, but the rest they merely wounded. Bombur was knocked off her feet as a spider launched itself at her.
"Grab a leg!" Fíli said.
Seven Dwarves joined her. "PULL!" Nori shouted.
After some resistance, all eight of the spider's legs ripped off, the body landing on Bombur.
"Disgusting," Dori said.
A spider grabbed Kíli and began dragging him away. Dís went after her son. The spider died swiftly by Orcrist.
Thorin saw more spiders coming. He was about to shoot when he saw something moving in the forest trees above them.
"Parkour? Stupid, snotty Elves," Nori said.
The blonde Elf swung down a spider's rope and killed it just before it got to Thorin. The Elf sliced the spider in half.
The Elf had a gun to Thorin's face when he stood. "Do not think I won't kill you, Dwarf. It would be my pleasure."
Elves. Elves everywhere. Thorin would have rather dealt with the spiders.
"Help!" Kíli screamed as he was dragged away by yet another spider.
"Kíli!" Fíli shouted as she tried to get to her brother. One of the Elves tackled her to the ground.
"Someone help my brother!" Fíli screamed.
"On it," a female Elf said.
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Kíli had hoped when he died, it would at least be a glorious battle, though preferably from old age. Instead, he was going to be killed by an overgrown flycatcher.
A female Elf came from above, killing three spiders as she descended the branches with a combination of her handgun and her long knife. She killed the spider dragging Kíli in one shot. A spider came behind her. The Elf worked on dispatching the creature. Kíli saw a spider coming towards him.
"Throw me your dagger! Quick!" Kíli shouted.
"If you think I'm giving you a weapon, Dwarf, you're mistaken!" She killed the spider in front of her before killing the other spider by throwing her dagger.
Kíli looked at the Elf in awe. It was beyond amazing. When the Elf laughed, he realized he had said it aloud.
"Come, Dwarf," the Elf said. She was almost a foot shorter than him, beautiful, and radiated the confidence of a warrior. "Let's take you back to the rest of your friends. Hands behind your head."
"And who do I have to thank for saving my life?" Kíli asked as he did what he was told.
"Tauriel, a captain of Thranduil's guard. Come on, get moving," she said.
"Yes, ma'am," Kíli said with a bit more glee than he should have had under the circumstances.
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"Search them," Legolas said. He went to the Dwarf nearest him, the older of the two red-headed women. There was a phone with a picture of two other Dwarves on the wallpaper.
"Hey! Give it back! That's private!" Glóin said.
"Who is this? Your brother?" Legolas said.
"That's my husband!" Glóin said.
"And what is this horrid creature? A goblin mutant?"
"That's my lad, Gimli. He's a child and he has better manners than you, tree hugger," Glóin said.
Before Legolas could retort, some of the Elves jumped back from Fíli when she dropped a small device with a blinking red light. "Chill, guys," Fíli said, "It's just a toy I've been working on."
Legolas looked down at Glóin's phone and found it blank. He took out his own phone and found it to be dead as well. The Elf stalked up to Fíli.
"An EMP pulse?" Legolas said.
Fíli shrugged.
"Now, why would you need an EMP pulse?" Legolas said.
"Like I said, a toy I've been working on. It's not my fault Elves are clumsy," Fíli said with a smirk.
Legolas raised an eyebrow, but relaxed slightly when he saw Tauriel approach them with another Dwarf. He said in Sindarin, "Are the spiders dead?"
"Yes, but more will come. They're growing bolder," Tauriel said.
"What are you doing?" Kíli shouted as he covered his eyes.
Fíli stripped down to her underwear, showing several weapons strapped to her body. "I am not going to be groped by Elves."
Thorin rubbed his eyes. He said to Dís quietly, "I'm blaming you for this."
"It's quicker and less embarrassing in the long run," Dís said.
One of Legolas' men handed him Dís' sword, Orcrist. Legolas smiled and said in Sindarin, "This is an ancient Elvish blade. Forged by my kin." He glared at Dís. "Where did you get this?"
"It was given to my brother," Dís said, "I took it from him since he wasn't using it."
Legolas pointed Orcrist at Dís. "Not just a thief, but a liar as well."
"I am many things, but I am no thief. I cannot say the same for the Woodland Realm and its king," Dís said.
"You should remind your sister who she speaks to, Thorin Oakenshield," Legolas said.
"She speaks to the son of a traitor," Thorin stated.
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It certainly raised Elf prince's ire. The Elves roughly pushed the Dwarves through the forest. Fíli struggled to put her clothes back on while also walking.
"A little diplomacy wouldn't hurt," Balin muttered.
"They shouldn't dismiss my sister as one who speaks out of turn when she merely spoke the truth," Thorin said.
Bofur whispered, "Thorin, where's Bramble?"
The Dwarf king looked around wildly. The Hobbit was nowhere to be seen. The last thing he remembered was… she was knocked down by a spider. Was she…?
But the Elves would have found her if she had been… no. She was alive. Bramble was alive and not captured.
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The Elves shoved Bofur next to Thorin into a van with no windows save for the front seat. The Dwarves had been separated into four different vans filled with Elves.
Something (really, someone) landed on the two Dwarves' feet.
"I'm not here," came a hushed whisper.
Bofur tried to keep a smile off his face when he saw his feet were a bit too blurry.
"Feet up," mumbled Thorin.
The three of them worked together so the Dwarves' legs could partially cover Bramble while she slid as much as she could under the seat. Bofur felt infinitely better knowing everyone was alive and well (though not safe by any means). Thorin was tense, but not on the verge of panic like earlier.
"We're going to be separated," Thorin said, "Don't say anything. Try to stay invisible in the eyes of the Elves. Don't cause trouble. We want all of the Company safe."
Bofur saw the edge of Thorin's jeans being tugged in acknowledgment. "Alright," Bofur said.
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On the outskirts of Baton Rouge was a mini-city which sat along the banks of the Mississippi. It had several buildings of the French style with trees at least as old as Baton Rouge itself.
The Elves separated the Dwarves after being presented to the King of the Woodland Realm. (Dwalin was quite irate over being called "annoying".) Thorin remained with King Thranduil. The guards led the rest of the Company to various cells in the building which was also used as storage situated over a tributary which led to the Mississippi.
Tauriel shoved Kíli into his cell.
"Aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers," Kíli said
"Or nothing," Tauriel said dryly as she slammed the cell door shut.
Kíli tried not to smile. He thought idly he might have had a crush on her if she was not an Elf.
Legolas stopped Tauriel a few feet from Kíli's cell, speaking to her in Sindarin. "Why does the Dwarf stare at you, Tauriel?"
"Who can say? Dwarves are strange," Tauriel said.
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Dwalin immediately tried to start breaking down his cell wall. As Balin passed by, he said to his younger brother, "Leave it! There's no way out. This is no Orc dungeon; these are the halls of the Woodland Realm. No one leaves here but by the king's consent."
"Well, let's hope Thorin can use tact with the Elves for once," Dwalin said. He immediately realized they were doomed.
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A/N: THE THINGS I DO FOR WRITING! UGH! SPIDERS!
My apologies on the late update. was down when I originally intended to post and then I was dealing with school stuff or being sick since then.
The band RED was my soundtrack for writing this chapter. They're good for battle scenes and angry angst. For battle scenes with sad angst, I turn to Skillet.
Thranduil's palace is completely made up for Baton Rouge. I have been to the city once, it was dark out, and we only stopped at a gas station for fuel for about ten minutes. (It was a mission trip to New Orleans post-Katrina to help with clean-up and rebuilding.) You could buy alligator heads there. Like real ones. I got a wooden one painted to look like a real alligator for my Dad as he had jokingly asked for one when I left. When I pulled it out of my bag when my parents picked me up, my Mother almost crashed the car. It was fantastic.
