Guest: I'm doing good. I'm still around, just working on a couple projects and trying to build up a nice surplus of content before posting my next story.
Guest: At the end of We Still Love Our Brother, Lisa wiped everyone's memories, so Lincoln doesn't remember having sex with Carol or Ronnie Anne.
Lyrics to Noise Level Critical by Tigertailz (1990)
Poke.
Gwen furrowed shifted in her sleep with a tired mutter. Get your dick out of my face, Lemy, I'm too sleepy to give you a blowjob.
Poke. Poke-poke-poke, right in the cheek; she could feel it pressing against her teeth through her flesh. Sighing, she opened her eyes...and started. Lizy stood at the edge of the bed, her face obscured by shadows. She was dressed in only a long red T-shirt that came down to her knees. Her blonde hair spilled down her shoulders in a messy tangle, and when she saw that Gwen was awake, she pulled her hand back and flashed a big, sheepish smile. "Hi."
Gwen blinked and looked at clock on the nightstand: 5:45am. She turned to the little girl in confusion. "What's wrong?" she asked, unconsciously lowering her voice to a whisper so she didn't wake Lemy.
"I gotta talk to you," Lizy said.
"About what?" Gwen asked.
Lizy's eyes grew to twice their normal size. "Something real important."
For a moment Gwen hesitated; part of her wanted to tell Lizy to get lost, but if she was waking her this early, it must be serious. "Alright," she muttered and swung her legs out from under the cover. "Let's go out in the hall or something."
The hallway was dark and silent at this hour, and Gwen felt a rush of surreality; the Loud house was never empty and quiet, and seeing it now was like seeing someone without their glasses: Familiar but different at the same time. Light from the living room painted the wall and provided scant illumination. "Who's down there?" Gwen asked.
"I was," Lizy said and started down.
Gwen followed, holding tight to the handrail because she still wasn't 100 percent awake and when she was like this she was clumsy. Once, she walked right into the bathroom door and gave herself a black eye. When Mr. Loud saw it, he shot Lemy a dirty look. "I swear I didn't do it," he said and threw up his hands. When she told Mr. Loud she walked into the door, he hummed his incredulity and crossed his arms...then laughed and smacked Lemy's arm. I know you couldn't do that. Strangely, that offended Lemy so much he was talking about it hours later. He thinks I can't give a girl a black eye. Pfft. I oughta show him what's up and give him a black eye.
In the living room, Lizy dropped onto the couch and Gwen sat next to her, then brushed a strand of hair out of her face and turned to the blonde. "What's up?"
Lizy stared at the darkened TV screen, her eyes leaden and her bottom lip sucked into her mouth as if in thought. Something was obviously troubling her, and Gwen knew exactly what it was: Yesterday, she agreed to help Lizy with Lemy, and if Gwen was right, the little girl wanted to start now.
Finally, Lizy turned to her but couldn't meet her eyes. "I wanna know about grown up stuff."
A hot blush spread across Gwen's face. "I thought you already knew," she said. Living here it was impossible not to know the basics: Mr. Loud and his sisters (and his daughters) did it everywhere. You'd walk into the kitchen to get something to eat, and he'd be bending Lupa over the counter, or you'd come through the door and Lyra would be riding him on the couch. Gwen didn't know how long it had been that way, but she assumed Lizy had seen so much of it that she understood the fundamentals of sex, or had at least been given the talk.
"Well...I kind of know," she said haltingly, "like...the boy gets on the girl and humps her, but that's pretty much it."
"You haven't...watched your dad?"
Lizy shook her head.
"Your mom hasn't talked to you?"
Again, Lizy shook her head. "No. Mom said I'm too young for that."
Okay, yeah, Gwen could see Lana's point, she was a little young, but when it comes to sex, the Loud girls age in, like dog years or something. Take Leia: She was eleven but much, much older as far as sexua maturity went. Lemy told her she'd never had technical sex with her father because he couldn't fit (holy moley, how big is he?), but even before she fucked Lemy she was far more advanced than 99 percent of girls her age. Lana really she have sat Lizy down already.
Now she was asking her and...wow, that's really awkward.
She did promise to help her, though, and if that included giving her the talk...alright. "Well," she started haltingly, "uh, you know that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, right?"
Lizy's eyebrows angled down in a V. "I'm not a baby, Gwen, I know that."
"Okay. Well...when the boy gets turned on, his penis gets hard and he puts it in the girl's vagina."
"Inside?" Lizy asked, her jaw dropping.
Gwen nodded.
"H-How does that work?"
Gwen faltered. She wasn't sure how much Lizy knew about her body. When she was six, she didn't know anything other than it looked like a posterior, so she called it her front butt, a phrase her mother found 'crass' and 'repulsive.' She expected Lizy to know a little more, but she was wrong once already. "There's a hole...down there," she said, "and the penis goes into it."
Lizy's forehead crinkled in befuddlement as she processed this new and strange information, then, with an uninhibitedness characteristic of the Loud girl, she slipped her hand under the hem of her shirt to see for herself, one eye squinting and the tip of her tongue plastering against her upper lip in concentration. Her arm wiggled as she explored the spot between her legs, and a blush touched her face as her body began to respond to the stimulation. Her eyes widened when she presumably found her opening. "Oh, wow," she said, "I didn't know that was there."
"Have you ever masturbated?" Gwen asked.
Lizy stared blankly.
"Played with yourself," Gwen clarified.
The little girl nodded. "Umhm. I play with myself all the time."
"What do you do?"
For a moment Lizy didn't reply, then her eyes darted to her lap. "Well..I kind of...rub my thing. You know, the little thing on top?"
Gwen nodded. "That's your clit. Do you ever get turned on?"
Taking her hand out from beneath her shirt, Lizy held her fingers up to the light; they sheened silver with her juices. "Yep," she said proudly.
"Without touching yourself?"
Lizy's gaze lowered. "Yeah," she said heavily, as if admitting to some terrible deformity, "weird, huh?"
"Not at all," Gwen said, "it's normal." She hesitated. "What...makes you wet?"
For a long time Lizy stared down at her lap, her brow pinching as she considered the question and collected her thoughts. Gwen already knew what she was going to say, and she didn't blame the little blonde one bit: She got wet over the same thing. "When I think about Lemy," she finally said, "like...when he comes out of his room in just his underwear and I can see the outline of his thing and I start imagining what it would feel like in my hand and how his skin would taste if I trailed kisses up his stomach and chest and then imagine him kissing me and playing with my hair." Her cheeks were furiously flushed now and her eyes were muddled with unmistakable lust. "Oh, and him holding me in his arms and kissing the back of my neck and running his hands over my body...and rubbing my clip as he tells me he loves me." She sighed dreamily. "In fact, I'm getting wet right now."
Wow. That was really detailed...far more detailed than Gwen expected. She figured Lizy certainly had it in her, but she was surprised that she was able to articulate it so well. When she first started feeling sexual desire herself, she just knew that looking at pictures of her 'father' made her heart race and her front butt feel squishy. Of course, she was making a huge mistake using herself as a touchstone: The Loud girls (and boys) were a different breed altogether.
"Alright," Gwen said, not sure how to continue, "he's…" she sighed. "His thing is pretty big and it might not fit in you."
Lizy's brow furrowed. "How big is it?"
"Very big," Gwen said, "sometimes it even hurts me."
"Wow," the little girl breathed as though the thought of it hurting Gwen was mind-blowing, the way a child might feel when she finds out that even Daddy isn't bulletproof. "It doesn't hurt all the time, though, right?"
Gwen shook her head. "Nope. Most of the time it feels really good." A smile touched her lips and a hot blush spread across her cheeks as her mind turned to the sensation of Lemy penetrating her, to the feeling of his head raking along her walls and stoking the fires of her arousal from a tiny ember to a roaring inferno...then finally to a heart-stopping, toe-curling explosion. She giggled and unconsciously rubbed her thighs together, the hot, heady friction making her breath catch.
Her eyes went to Lizy, who watched her with slack-jawed amazement, and she forced herself to stop. "That good, huh?" Lizy asked.
Gwen nodded. "Yes. It hurt a little the first time, but after a minute or two, once my body got used to him, it started to feel good. You're a lot smaller than me, so it'll probably hurt a lot more...if he can literally even get it in."
A shadow of anxiety flickered across Lizy's face. "You really think he won't be able to?"
She looked the little girl up and down; Lizy flashed a strained smile as if to increase her chances of being told that Lemy would fit. "I don't know," Gwen said seriously, "Maybe?" Lizy looked like she was about to cry, and Gwen's heart panged. "But," she hurriedly added, "you guys can do other stuff together. Stuff that feels just as good."
"Like what?" Lizy asked and scooted closer, her eyes wide with childish curiosity.
"Well," Gwen said, "he can rub your clit, and put his fingers in you-"
"Does that feel good?" Lizy asked and snuggled to Gwen like a little girl preparing to be read a bedtime story. Something about the gesture touched Gwen deeply, and she fought back the urge to put her arm around her shoulders.
"Yes, it feels amazing. But it feels even better when he eats you."
Lizy's head whipped up, her face puckering in horror. Gwen laughed. "Not, like, literally eats you. That's what they call it when a boy licks your pussy."
Understanding slowly dawned in Lizy's eyes. "I saw Daddy doing that to Lupa. She looked like she liked it."
"It feels so good," Gwen said and laughed, "like, oh my God, And Lemy's really good at it. He does this thing with his tongue that Liby taught him and it's enough to make you cum in seconds."
Lizy's eyes lit up. "Yeah?" she asked breathlessly.
"Umhm," Gwen said, "he literally makes my knees shake when he does it." She was starting to feel very warm (and a little damp) between her legs, and she pressed her thighs together in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure. Talking (and thinking) about Lemy's lovin' (all rights reserved) was really turning her on; as soon as she was done with Lizy, she was going to go upstairs and pounce him like a hungry lioness - he could be her wounded prey. Rawr.
For a moment Lizy looked at her, then sighed, her eyes filling with sadness. "He doesn't wanna do that stuff with me, though," she sulked.
That was true, but last night before drifting off to sleep, she had a revelation. Lemy told her that his father told him that Lisa told him (whew) that the reason his sisters and aunts were all suddenly jumping his bones was that they never, like, thought to look at him as a sex partner. They saw him as Lemy their little nephew (and bro) who wasn't ready for sex or else he'd have come to them. True, Lizy went to Lemy and he wasn't really into the idea, but that was because he was still seeing her as his little sister and not the bright-eyed, cutely inexperienced but eager to please virgin she was - guys like that kind of thing, right? Gwen wasn't gay (maybe a little bi), but it was kind of starting to turn her on. She could clearly see Lemy lying back in bed while Lizy kissed and pawed his chest and stomach, so hot she was trembling, clumsy like Bambi on ice but making up for it with enthusiasm...she could also see herself guiding the little girl's hand and kissing her, swirling her tongue around hers and tasting her virgin mouth.
A shiver raced down Gwen's spine and she shuddered.
"You okay?" Lizy asked.
God, I'm turning into a pervert. Pretty soon my transformation will be complete and I'll literally be a Loud, whether Lemy marries me or not.
Um, I'd rather become one that way, though. ;)
"I'm fine," she said and glanced at the little girl, but felt a rush of shame and looked away. "I have an idea to get Lemy to like you. I don't know if it'll work, but...I think it might."
Beaming from ear to ear, Lizy fisted her hands in excitement. "What is it?" she asked.
Gwen opened her mouth but closed it again as she collected her thoughts. "You have to get him to notice you," she said, "as a girl, not his sister."
"How do I do that?" Lizy asked.
Gwen looked the little girl up and down. Lemy liked all types of girls - jocks (like Lynn), tomboys (like Lana) - but his favorite, hands down, even if he never said so, were girly-girls, like Lola and Leia. He was attracted, she reckoned, to femininity: Dresses, make-up - all the things that made a girl a girl.
Gwen took a deep breath. "By learning from the master."
Hours and hours later, after school, Gwen and Lizy sat side-by-side on the edge of a bed, Gwen's hands clasped to her knees and Lizy's face glowing with a hopeful expression. "...and that's why we're here," Gwen finished. "Can you help us?"
Leia, arms crossed and hip cocked, bunched her lips and hummed in thought, her blue shadowed eyes lidding and her lush pigtails rustling like summer silk as she turned her head from Gwen to Lizy. She looked the little girl up and down, appraising her, judging her, and Lizy flashed a toothy smile. "So," Leia said, "you want Lemy to notice you." It was a statement, not a question.
Lizy nodded eagerly.
"Well, first thing's first, honey; you gotta walk the walk." She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her hips. "Pretend I'm Lemy and I just walked into the room. What do you do?"
The little girl's eyes lit up and she preened. "Hi, Lem!" Her glowing smile fell a little when Leia shook her head. "Uh...Hi, Lemy?"
"Uh, no," Leia said pointedly. "Let's try this again. You be Lemy and I'll be me." She went to the foot of the bed then strutted past her sister, the sway of her hips an over-the-shoulder glance at Lizy, she stopped and lifted one heel from the floor, her sultry eyes flicking up and down the little girl's body. "Hi, Lemy," she drew in a low, honeyed voice. "That's how you do it; sweet and subtle. Now you try."
Looking uncomfortable, Lizy got to her feet and looked down at Gwen. "No," Leia commanded, "don't look at her until you've passed her. The point is to build suspense...then to 'notice' him at the last minute."
"O-Okay," Lizy said. She averted her eyes, took a few steps back, then walked past Gwen just as casually as you please. When she was past, she looked over her shoulder and blinked deeply. "Hi, Lemy."
Leia sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, no, no. You have to be sexy, Liz, sexy."
"I don't know how!" Lizy protested.
Shaking her head, Leia came over and put her hands on her little sister's hps. "Move your hips when you walk, and when you talk to Lemy...think of all the things you want to do to him." She moved Lizy's hips from side to side with her hands and leaned over her shoulder until her lips were almost touching her ear. "It helps to be turned on. Lemy turns you on, doesn't he?"
Lizy nodded. "Y-Yeah."
"Good. Think about his chiseled chest and his flat stomach...and the big, yummy bulge in his underwear."
Lizy stiffened and Leia drew away. "Try it again."
The older girl sat next to Gwen and crossed her legs, the hem of her skirt pulling back from her knee. Lizy swallowed and called up a vision of Lemy lying in his bed, naked save for his boxers. Her eyes traveled from his chest down to his feet and back again, lingering on his bulge. Her heart pounded and her flesh burned with fever.
"H-H-Hey, L-L-Lemy," she stammered.
Leia hung her head. "This is going to take longer than I thought," she said.
Lemy dropped onto the sofa next to Lupa and kicked his feet onto the coffee table with a deep sigh. It was four in the afternoon and Gwen was doing 'girl stuff' with Leia and Lizy, what the fuck ever that meant. Probably lezzing out. He glanced over at Lupa, who sat Indian style with a notepad in her lap, drawing, and scrunched his lips to the side in thought. Should he put the moves on her? He was kind of horny, but that's like saying...I dunno...he kind of breathed air: Being a Loud with fucked up DNA, he was always kind of horny. So far he'd been with Leia, Lyra, Liby, Lacy, Lola, Lynn, Luan, Lana...am I missing any? That's eight women, holy shit; the national average for a twenty-five year old is, like, six or something, which put him so fucking far ahead of the game it was stupid. And that's not even counting Gwen. So nine. Nine girls opened their legs for him. Guess my life isn't BS after all.
Then again, of those nine, eight were family members, so that kind of negates it a little. Seriously, you can't walk around pounding your chest because you fucked your sister. What is this, Kentucky?
Hm...yeah, no, not right now. He'd save his load for Gwen: He wanted to try out that position he used on Lana, ya know, the one where he rolled her up like a pillbug. Something told him Gwen would fucking love it, and he wanted as much nut saved up as possible - so much that her tummy felt all sloshy afterwards, so much that her womb couldn't help but be fertilized.
I know, I know, Lem, you're, like, ten, what's this shit about fertilizing wombs, dog? Well...I kind of like the idea of, ya know, having a kid with Gwen. *Holds hands up quickly and forestalling* I know, I'm a goddamn nut and it's probably some kinda weird fetish that I shouldn't pursue because we're talking a person's life here, but her carrying my baby, getting big and pregnant, and then us raising it together...it gives me this funny feeling, like, uh...like a spiritual hard on or something. I'd like a son, but I'd like a daughter too, you know, to play fairy princess shit with; that'd be awesome. I'm kinda worried, though. Knowing what I am - the fucked up DNA/brain, whatever it is thanks to Doctor Frankenho - I'm afriad I might...do stuff with my daughter. Looking ahead now, I can say 'nope, miss me' but what if I actually get there and it's different? Or what if I get there and she wants me and being a pervert I can't say no?
Dad does his daughters and that's fine, whatever - it's just not for me. At least I think it's not, and I don't want it to be, but I really won't know until I'm there with my daughter in my lap grinding herself against my crotch. Daddy, let's play.
He shuddered violently, and Lupa looked up, her brow creasing. "What's wrong with you?" she asked, her voice flat as three day old soda.
"Nothing," Lemy said, "it's just, uh, cold in here."
She stared blankly. "No it's not."
"Yeah, well, it is to me." With that, he crossed his arms and turned to the TV - the matter is settled that gesture said. Onscreen, Alex Trebek hosted Jeopardy! from a wheelchair, an IV stand looming over him. He was ninety-eight and trying his damnedest to be the first game show host to still be doing his thing at one hundred (Regis Philbin died on air at ninety-nine). He could feel Lupa's eyes on him and he fought real hard not to meet them. After a moment, she turned back to her drawing and didn't speak for a long time.
"A type of person you might not want to associate with," Trebek said.
The middle contestant hit his buzzer. "What is a bitch ass nigga?"
Trebek missed a beat and looked to his left as if for guidance. "We'll accept that. We would also have accepted 'punk nigga.'"
"So," Lupa said without looking up from her lap, "how're you and Gwen doing?"
Lemy nodded. "Good." Uh, should he ask how she and Dad were doing? Seemed kinda rude to just say good and nothing else.
"That's nice," she said, then: "Do you love her?"
The question caught him off-guard. He and Lupa were close - as close as two introverts can be, anyway, but they rarely talked deep, ya know? Their conversations were about things, not emotions. Sometimes they got profound, but those instances were few and far between. "Yeah," he said, "I do."
Lupa hummed.
She didn't sound impressed.
"What?" he asked defensively.
Lupa shrugged one shoulder. "She just doesn't seem like your type."
"Yeah? And what's my type?"
The tip of her pencil danced across the page and her eyes swept back and forth, her eyebrows lowering ever so slightly as if in displeasure at a certain angle or line. "Someone like Lyra," she said. "Or me."
Lemy blinked.
"I'm not coming onto you," she said, "I'm just giving you an example. Gwen's too much like Leia. Airhead girly-girl. Fun to fuck, but to be in a serious relationship with?" She shook her head. "It just puzzles me."
Okay, first of all, did this white hair, Lincoln Loud in drag looking bitch just call Gwen an airhead? Second, Gwen was not like Leia. Leia was...look, he was into Leia (not in love with her, just into), but, objectively speaking, she was kind of a snooty little bitch. She was cool to him now that he was dicking her and making her toes curl, but before? Man, that girl was a haughty nightmare, looking at him down her nose and acting like he was trash or something. Gwen was different. Yeah, she was closer to Leia in matters of taste and stuff, but her personality was completely different. She was more caring and down to earth (I hate that phrase, by the way, but not as much as I hate 'laidback.' Dunno why).
She was also not a fucking airhead. He kinda thought the same thing when he first met her, but she was a lot deeper than she looked. Lupa would know that if she wasn't so goddamn standoffish.
"You obviously don't know her very well," he said. On TV, Trebek's chin lolled against his chest and loud, sawing snores drifted from his nose. A tech in headphones rushed out and shook him awake.
Lupa hummed.
"Have you ever even talked to her?"
She didn't reply for a beat. "A couple times."
Lemy rolled his eyes. "I mean more than can you hurry up in the bathroom?"
"No," Lupa deadpanned.
Yeah, that's what I thought. "You should get to know her. She wants to get to know you, but you're intimidating."
"Good."
For some reason that made him mad. "No, it's not good. Gwen's a sweet, sensitive girl whose mother and stepfather verbally and emotionally abused her. She thinks she's shit, she's ashamed because she feels like she's living off us, she's out of her element in someone else's home, and she just wants to be accepted." His face was flushed and his heart slammed an angry pattern against his ribs. "She's going through a lot, and the last shit she needs is someone intentionally intimidating her like she deserves it."
Lupa was looking at him now, her eyes narrowed just a tick, which told him she felt something other than that goddamn manufactured apathy. "I don't intentionally do anything to her," she said.
"Like talking to her and finding out who she is," he said sourly.
Her eyes narrowed even more.
"You'd rather make stupid, baseless ass assumptions." He shook his head and took a deep breath that did little to relieve the pressure weighing on his chest. "I do love her and I'd like you to get to know her. Can you try that?"
He turned to her, and she looked back at her drawfag pad. "Whatever," she muttered in a tone that told him the conversation was over. Fine, fucking asshole. She could be cool, but she could also be a goddamn dick, and right now she was being a dick and Lemy didn't want shit to do with her. He got up, went around the edge of the couch, and climbed the stairs. I'll just smoke a jay and listen to some music while I wait for Gwen.
In his room, he sat on the edge of the bed, reached into his nightstand, and pulled out a baggie of weed. The stash he pulled out of the Zenith way back in the day finally ran out the day after he tried to buy from Dino. For a while he went without, then one day he was cutting through the junkyard on his way home when some tall, lanky asshole snatched him up by the back of the shirt. The hell you doin' in my junkyard, boy? Sounded like one of those dudes from Deliverance, and Lemy's butthole puckered defensively. The guy spun him around, and Lemy's eyes instantly went to the fat joint jutting from his thin lips. He was about fifty with a balding head, faded blue eyes, and a scraggly beard. He wore what hair he had left in a ponytail and had a face so rough you could strike a match on it.
I was just passing through, man, chill.
Dude gave him the stink eye - his eyeball literally bulged outta his socket, it was gross - then sat him down. Well git.
Sure. Uh...wanna sell me some weed first?
No.
C'mon, dude, I haven't had grass in, like, a week. Take pity on me.
Long story short, the guy took pity on him. His name was Drew and he seemed pretty cool; Lemy bought from him twice more, and every time he rolled up on him, Drew was sitting at this plastic patio table drinking beer and blasting Judas Priest and shit. He lived in a trailer surrounded by piles of junk and walked with a limp; said he fought in the Second Korean War and took a bullet at the Battle of Tokyo, but he was old so he probably just had gout or something.
Presently, Lemy rolled a blunt, plopped it into his mouth, and went through the stack of tapes on his desk - he picked them up at a thrift store for a quarter a pop. Lol, wut, they're selling 5150 for that? Sammy Hagar's the man! He settled on one, popped it into the Zenith, and held his lighter to the business end of the joint as crunchy, glitzy glam metal sashayed gayly out of the speakers.
D'ya ever get a night when
You feel alright but your
Folks been drivin' you mad
Got a needle in the groove
And you're ready to move
Hit, hold, exhale. And cough. Can't forget that. This stuff wasn't as good as what he found in the Zenith, but, hey, it got the job done...more or less. The Z-strain knocked him on his ass, this stuff just want him want to listen to Black and White by Three Dog Night and imagine Klansmen holding hands with black panthers and singing about unity. Strange, I know, but I was high, brah, give me a break.
He took another drag, the smoke pinching the back of his throat and making him hitch. That shit with Lupa really pissed him off. Gwen was such a beautiful person and Lupa wanted to be an asshole because Oooh, I'm emo just like my mom and I wear it on my sleeve how much I don't care but I do otherwise I wouldn't advertize it. Pfft.
Y'hit the power and you're
Feelin' bad, if you wanna
Unwind, get outta your mind
Get hip to the crazy sound
When that music comes through
There's nothin' you can do
Cause you're never gonna
Turn it down, tell me now!
She just doesn't wanna put in the effort, you know? She wants to be cool and aloof and act like she's sooo much cooler than everyone else. Maybe she has problems of her own, ya know, like me. Maybe I should talk to her instead of listening to butt rock and bitching to myself.
The noise level's critical
Turn It down
Turn It down down
The noise level's critical
Turn It down
Turn It down down
Now I feel like an asshole. Why does it always come back on me? Lupa acts like a D-bag and I wind up feeling like I did something wrong. Overthinking, maybe? Dad does the same shit. Hm. Guess we Loud men are just bitches.
If ya can't stand the heat
Find another beat 'cuz the
Music's gonna play an' play
When the going gets tough
I turn to that stuff
I need to do something to get my man levels up; kill a grizzly bear with a Bowie knife or get taken prisoner by the Vietcong and force fed maggots for eight months while John McCain chills in the next cage over.
Or I can rut into one of the twenty chicks who are always DTF for my big monster sized dick.
Eh, I'm manly enough. Where was I? Oh, right, puff, puff, pass, nigga. Big Worm's head in the salad bowl. You smokin' my shit too, nigga? Imma kill you and Smoky! He snickered. That was a good movie. The second one too. Say you have an important message for a Mr. William Jones.
Yeah, I got a important message for a nigga name Willie..
*SLAP!*
Black people make funny movies. TV shows too. Remember Chappelle's Show? I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH! FUCK YO COUCH, NIGGA, FUCK YO COUCH! Hit, hold, exhale. Where's Gwen? I miss her. I know we've only been apart...actually, it's been the whole day. Goddamn; much more and I'm gonna curl up on the bathroom floor hugging myself like Junkie in The Last House on the Left. What was that song in that movie? Oh, man, I can't remember, but it was dumb as shit, totally fucking...outta vibe with the whole rape/murder/revenge motif. Had a kuzuo in it. Sounded like some Tiny Tim shit. LOL!
If ya can't stand the pace
get outta my face! 'cuz I'm
Doin' what I wanna do
I'm really high now. Time to bust out 3DN and pretend it's that Coke commercial.
He stubbed out the joint and laid back on the bed.
Or go to -
Snore.
"A-Are you sure about this?" Lizy asked hesitantly and looked at herself in the vanity mirror, a frown of uncertainty crossing her red tinged lips.
Liena put her hands on the little girl's shoulders and bent over so that their reflections were one on top of the other, a big, cheesy grin spreading across her face. "You are adorable," she said. Lizy looked at Leia and Gwen, who stood side-by-side, and both nodded. She turned to her image once more and examined her countance: Her cheeks were touched with rouge, her eyes were black with a smidge of eyeliner, and her lips were faintly, uh, stuck. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and a silver chain hung around her throat, the attached heart pendent resting against the hollow between where her breasts would be if she had any.
The makeover was Leia's idea. If you want to play the part, it helps to look the part. She and Gwen brought her to Liena, and they made her dress up in a yucky miniskirt, high heels, and a white button-up shirt like Leia and Gwen wore to school. Oh, and they borrowed a tie from Liby. It felt like she was being choked and she didn't like it. She also didn't like being all dolled up and girly. Bleh.
But that's what Lemy liked and she liked Lemy, so...what are ya gonna do?
"Now practice your walk again," Leia said.
Lizy sighed. She didn't want to practice her dumb walk. She wanted to practice kissing and stuff...on Lemy. Slumping her shoulders, she got up and almost fell over; her heart leapt into her chest and her hand shot out, catching the edge of the vanity. Leia rolled her eyes, and Lizy blushed with embarrassment. Gwen flashed an encouraging smile. "Dumb shoes," Lizy said and pulled herself up, then waddled shakily to the middle of the room like a little blonde penguin, the heels clunking and her arms out on either side for balance.
Liena frowned. "Uh, guys, maybe we she have her take the heels off."
"No," Leia snapped, "the heels are vital. She needs to be as feminine as possible; those heels make up for her flat, Kansas looking chest. If we jettison those we might as well put her back in her shorts and T-shirt like a trailer park slob."
Hurt flickered across Lizy's face, and Gwen rammed her elbow into Leia's side. "No offense," Leia added.
No, she was right, she was a slob; she was messy and smelly sometimes and played in the dirt. Leia, on the other hand, was like a pretty princess, and Lemy looked at her with bedroom eyes that Lizy prayed he would one day turn on her...but wouldn't as long as she was...herself. She was reminded of that Adam and Eve story from the Bible, how they were naked and didn't know it, but when they ate the smart fruit they realized it and got ashamed. She didn't know she was a filthy, nasty slob until she wanted Lemy to like her...and until Leia told her she was.
"Go on," Leia said, "pr -wait a minute."
She came over and knelt. Producing a ruler from seemingly nowhere, she held it up to one of Lizy's legs. "Your socks aren't pulled up far enough. They need to be as high as possible." She tugged Lizy's socks up to nearly her knee, and Lizy winced as the fabric bit into her toes. "Guys like that kind of thing," the older girl said and got to her feet. "Makes you look like a loli."
Lizy's brow pinched. How...did that make her look like a lollipop? Lollipops don't even wear socks. She didn't question her sister, though, because she knew how to get Lemy's bedroom look, and she was convinced that if she did exactly what she was told, she would too. "Now do your walk," Leia said and made a shooing gesture with her hands.
Alright. She had to focus and perfect her walk. Drawing a deep breath, she took a wobbly step forward and threw her arms up when she felt herself beginning to tip; her knees knocked together and her ankles quivered painfully. Liena watched with sympathetic concern and Gwen frowned slightly. She turned to Leia, who simply lifted her brows as if to say go on, and nervously bit her bottom lip. It made her anxious to have so many people watching her, judging her, finding her lac -
She pitched forward and her heart blasted painfully against her chest. She threw up her hands and landed hard on them, the air rushing from her lungs in a breathless oof, her hair fluttering behind her like a white flag of surrender. "Really, Lizy," Leia sighed.
Gwen and Liena hurried over and knelt on either side of her. "You okay, honey?" Liena asked and rubbed a comforting circle between her shoulder blades.
Hot tears filled her eyes and her lips began to tremble, but she wouldn't let herself cry; her mom always said when life throws you off you get right back on, and that's what she was going to do. Crying like a baby wouldn't get her anywhere, but practicing her walk would. "I-I'm fine," she said and pushed herself up.
"Take the heels off," Liena said softly, "you don't -"
Leia cut her off. "Yes, she does."
"No, she doesn't." Liena's tone was firm. "She's, like, a beautiful little girl without heels, and if Lemy can't see that, he's totes dumb."
Lizy reared up on her feet and started to fall back, but flung out her arms and regained her balance. "No, it's okay," she said, "I wanna wear the heels."
"Are you sure?" Gwen asked. "I mean...it's not that big a deal. I don't wear heels and -"
"You have breasts," Leia pointed out, "she does not. She has to work harder."
Gwen rolled her eyes. "You don't have breasts either."
Liena nodded. "It's true. Your chest looks like a boy's."
Scarlet shot across Leia's face, and her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. "I have natural femininity."
Gwen and Liena looked at each other.
"Really, it's fine," Lizy said, cutting off any further argument. "I just wanna practice my walk."
And then, she thought, maybe Lemy will love me.
