They sat there on the couch in front of the fire, quite literally all cried out, all talked out, exhausted….and beyond relieved. In fact, they hadn't felt this much relief or freedom from burden in four months. They had started out facing each other but that was nearly three hours ago. It was 1:06 AM and now Elena was in his lap. "Why did you choose to go to a woman counselor?" she asked.

"I gave it some serious thought and…I didn't think I could…talk candidly and honestly…with a man. I don't think a man would have quite understood the way Dr. Humbolt does. One of my…homework assignments that I've been working on for weeks has been….trying to tell you how much you...how much I… As you can see, I've been miserably unsuccessful at this. Every week I've….my god I can talk to Dr. Humbolt about you for an hour…but I haven't been able to talk to you for twenty minutes without…being all…me-ish. Well, until tonight." Tseng explained. She didn't take her eyes off him.

"Dr. Cardimum…in our last session….she did something she'd never done before. She looked right at me and said Elena, you're in love with him. And I answered her, yes…yes I am. I said that….he makes me feel…so free, uninhibited and…like I can just…just let it all go. And then she said to me. There's something else that makes you feel that way. And she was right so, she went on to say that I needed to achieve that feeling before I could ever tell you. And that's when…"Elena paused. "…you never knew this about me because it scared me to tell you but…that's when I uh…started dancing in the basement of the Shinra building." Tseng needed to do his best to play dumb right now. But then he thought maybe he should tell her what he knew…

"How long have you…done the ballet thing?" Tseng asked her. A funny look crossed Elena's face.

"How did you know about that?"

"Because, I've watched you dance for the past two days that we've been here. It was an accident the first day….but not the second. It's the most…compelling and beautiful thing I've ever seen. When….how long have you done that?"

"Twenty-seven years." She answered.

"Does it hurt?" Tseng asked, squeezing her back tighter.

"Yeah, but…only if the lambs wool shifts in the shoes or…if it gets too compacted when you're rehearsing." She explained. Strange, she wasn't even half-pissed that he had watched her.

"You uh….you look…very free and uninhibited when you do it." He told her. "In fact you're…just beautiful….when you're there and…it's just you and the floor. I don't know shit about ballet but…there's nothing more in this world that would make me happier than to take you to see one. Oh….I also saw your list so I know that's on it…god, I'm….I'm sorry. But…I did see it on your nightstand. That was…not so much an accident but me secretly….I don't know…me….being…really…" Elena cut him off by pressing her lips into his. It was a kiss that was approximately four months long, long overdue. Elena let her body sink into him, putting her hands around his neck.

There was no need for I'm sorry's anymore or it's all my fault's. They were passed that. They had finally resolved that. They had covered nearly everything in four hours: how they each felt so much guilt over what happened, how they each blamed themselves for what happened to the other, and how all they wanted was to save the other during the ordeal. They had talked about everything that happened after they had returned: not being able to even hardly look at each other in that first month, not knowing how to cope with anything. They talked about the miserable sleepless nights, and the awful images that flashed in their minds the minute they did close their eyes. They had covered absolutely everything…except this part right here. This part…would change everything. This was the part they had both longed for…but just couldn't get to.

Elena could feel hungry hands on her back, caressing her, wrapping tighter around her. Elena barely pulled her lips away from his, her eyes not filled with tears, but instead earnestness. "Did you read both columns on the list?" she asked, straddling his lap. She didn't give him a chance to answer right away. She kissed him again, letting the weight of her body rock forward on him. Tseng didn't even try to control where his hands roamed on her body. It made Elena ignite to feel the way his fingers teased the elastic edge of her thong. She moaned weakly at the feeling of him unbuttoning her jeans.

"You're….you're gonna hate me for this but….yes…yes I read both columns." He admitted, feeling her hands create an uncontrollable stir in him. In spite of all the therapy they each had undergone in four months….this would get them farther than all the talking in the world would to licensed professionals. Elena smiled.

"So…you uh….probably think I'm…Dr. Cardimum thought it would be a…good idea for me to…make a….nice column and a….a not so…..nice….column." Elena confessed.

"Except…your columns were labeled…sweet and dirty." Tseng reminded her. It actually made Elena laugh and turn rather pink. It was such a comforting sight.

"Yeah….yeah they…they were."

"I wanna do everything on the list…everything…both columns, Elena." Tseng assured her before shoving her down on the couch and letting the weight of his body sink into her. He held on to her tighter than ever. Elena wrapped her arms around his shoulder and her legs around his hips. "Oh god…I just wanna hold you…god how I love you…" Number three on her 'sweet' list: Hold me and let your breath hit my neck. Number three on her 'dirty' list: Make me come.

"I have something to tell you…" Elena said as she let her hands wander.

"What?" he asked softly, squeezing her shoulders.

"You're not the only one who knows things…" She moaned and let her hands travel all over him. "…I saw the stain…" she breathed heavily. "…and if you aren't careful…you're gonna end up with a mess in your pants…and I'd rather it be…in me…I'm sure…you must be…starving."

Tseng looked at her, deep brown eyes melting in to blue ones. "I slept…I slept the whole night…after that…I slept." Elena buried his head underneath her chin, inhaling the clean smell of his hair and letting one hand slide over his cheek. When the sexual tension had built up for so long between two people….one thing was certain…eventually, it would end in one hell of a big….boom.

"Isn't it a relief….to feel normal again? My god, Tseng….isn't….isn't that the one thing that….makes a man feel….you know what I mean." Elena said softly and genuinely.

"Yeah, I…I know what you mean…and that's…that's very observant of you. Thank you…for understanding how much that affects a man." Tseng said before kissing her again. Elena did her very best to unfasten the buckle of his belt but couldn't manage it.

"Do you know you're the first kiss I've had in a year?" Elena confessed pulling his lips back into hers again.

"If you haven't been kissed in a year…how long's it been since…" Elena stopped him.

"Nearly two." She said. "I think…we need to go upstairs."

"You're right…we do." Tseng agreed with her. "Oh shit…" Tseng had just thought of something. "I meant to change my sheets today and I didn't do it. They're…a mess. And if you and I are going to do number six in your left column it…it's just not right…on stained sheets." Number six on her 'sweet' column read: keep me warm during a cold rain.

"Well, if we do number six in the sweet column and number three in the dirty column, we'll end up making a bigger mess on your sheets. Just wash 'em tomorrow." Elena promised him. "And…I don't think it's raining tonight."

"Yes…it is." Tseng said turning his head sideways and pointing at the drops on the windows of the lodge.

"Oh wow it is…it's like…it's like nature knew…to shed a tear for us…" Elena paused. "…god I'm sorry that was…so lame of me. I'm just…I'm really touchy right now, in case you didn't know." She couldn't help but laugh.

"No, it wasn't lame." Tseng assured her. He stood up from the couch and pulled her up with him. He squeezed her hands and led her up the stairs with him.

"Grab a blanket off your bed. It's 50 degrees out there and if we're gonna' have a window open…which we are…we're gonna' need another one."

"Maybe I'll grab my list too." Elena said. "But it seems you have it memorized so…maybe not, now that I think about it." It was the first joke Elena had made in four months and it actually made Tseng laugh at her. He reluctantly released her so she could wad the heaviest blanket on her bed into a ball. "You know…I think you should make a list." She turned the light out in her bedroom and followed Tseng into his.

"What? Why would I do that?" He asked helping her rearrange the covers on his bed.

"Because, you already have the list in your mind. Dr. Cardimum would have told you to make a list if she were your counselor.

"Okay, yeah…yeah, I'll make a list." Tseng assured her.

"Alright…but not tonight you won't." She said watching him shove the nearby window open, cold rain blowing toward the screen. Elena left to get the pillows off her bed.

"Shit…it's cold out there tonight. You'll be…Elena?" Tseng turned around for her only to see her absence. She returned only moments later, throwing her pillows on his bed.

"I'm sorry, were you saying something? I needed to get these pillows." She closed the door behind her. Tseng put his arms around her.

"Nothing that can't wait until I get you a little more naked." He kissed her hard and pushed her down into a sea of flannel and fleece. Elena wrapped her arms around strong shoulders. Elena's jeans slid off her hips easily, mainly because Tseng had already managed to get them unbuttoned. His breath shuddered at the night-soaked sight of her barely-there satin. Tseng threw her jeans to the floor beside the bed and pushed clammy palms up her thighs; letting his fingers trace over the thin black strips at her hips. He continued pushing his hands up her body. Her stomach was painfully thin. Tseng didn't waste any time unbuttoning the buttons of her blue and green flannel shirt. "You're so fuckin' gorgeous."

"You're one to talk." Elena breathed heavily trying her best to paw at him. As far as she was concerned, he couldn't get undressed fast enough. Tseng read her signals, quickly shedding his shirt to the floor where he had already thrown her pants. Elena wanted nothing more than to feel him against her. "Take off some more." She demanded of him. He said nothing, but did as she requested. Elena reached her hands out to him, allowing her palms to feel all of him. She sighed a little as she indulged in him. The desperation in Tseng's face spoke volumes. He hadn't been touched this way, he hadn't been wanted this way for so, so long. Elena had to surrender her hands to him as Tseng pulled flannel from her shoulders and pulled her silky camisole over her head in one smooth motion. Her satin bra was just as smooth as her camisole. Elena reached for him again, pulling his body down against hers. His skin was warm, his breath hot against her shoulder and the rest of his body…hungry for her.

"Elena….oh god…your…hands." He moaned at her. She pulled his lips into hers and moved his hands to her breasts. That was a little dangerous because anything could pull the trigger at this point. In no time, she was topless from the waist up. The cold Healen air blew in the window sending a wave of chills over Tseng's back.

"I've felt everything….now show me." She begged as she struggled to slide wet, slinky panties off her hips. Tseng's eyes had never looked more uninhibited or more feral. He undressed her and followed in suit in a hurried fashion.

"You want on top?" he asked.

"You haven't been a man for months…now's your chance. You be on top….you be on top…all night." Her words were like a sweet venom and so true. Granted, her words were merely figurative because this would last under a minute. Of course, they'd recover fairly quickly too. Elena pulled his hair loose from its elastic band, letting long jet waves fall onto her skin. Tseng pushed her legs apart and put his hands on the outside of her shoulders. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Listen…if this…if this lasts….like ten seconds…."

"Sssshhhh…." Elena hushed him. "…it'll be the best ten seconds I've ever felt. Now fuck me before I come over the sight of your naked body on me right now." Elena whispered. He kissed her and Elena planted her hands on his shoulder blades, her fingers intertwined in his hair. She moaned at the feeling of famished cock shoving inside her. Her reaction was actually a combination of soft skin brushing against her nipples and him pushing into her. Tseng looked at her, her eyes were full of bliss in the darkness. "Tseng…" she gasped for him. The rhythm of her panting was more than sexy. "Touch me…" she begged. "Touch me…" Tseng shifted his weight on her and put his hands on her breasts. That only made her moan for him louder. At this point, he was certain a woman had never wanted him so badly in all his life. That certainly didn't help him fight the feeling of wanting to explode inside her right now. But Elena knew…only one of them would come this time…and she knew she was close….but she needed one more minute…Tseng didn't have that. She could see in eyes, hear it in his breath, she could feel it in the way he touched her and in the way his hips pushed into her. It was exhilarating, satisfying and downright hot. Tseng and Elena were the only two who didn't realize that they should have been fuckin' each other long ago.

She held on to him tighter, begging him to come…knowing it was imminent anyway. She was careful not to pull stray strands of hair as she clung to him.

"Elena…" he cried for her, knowing he couldn't hold this back another minute. And then….


Rude had been more than half asleep, but now he was knocking on Reno's door. Reno had been asleep. He clumsily stumbled to the door and opened it. He yawned and looked at Rude in the blackness of the hallway. "Yeah….yeah, you and I should probably just work on the files all night. God only knows we ain't gonna' get no sleep." Reno leaned his head against the doorframe.

"We will…but it will be on regular intervals. By the way, since I couldn't sleep I timed that…one minute twenty-seven seconds. They have a lot of work to do." Rude said yawning.

"Shiiiiiiiit…..do they ever….hey….night." Reno said before closing his door again.


Tseng and Elena were under the covers, their arms intertwined. She could still feel him inside of her, in more ways than one. Despite the rain moistening the carpet slightly in front of the window and sending a dampness into the room, they weren't cold and they wouldn't be amongst the layers of covers in which they were bundled.

"I promise the next time you'll…" Elena interrupted him.

"No, no, no, no…because the minute either of us put any kind of pressure on ourselves to make it happen…nothing will happen." She assured him. "Believe me…Tseng…that…was great. I've been talking to Dr. Cardimum about that moment for four months. Well, okay. That and…everything that you and I already talked about tonight." That brought a comforting smile to Tseng's face. That was possibly the first time he had truly smiled in ages. Elena sighed deeply. "God, I am so relaxed right now."

"If you're relaxed…then I'm….oh, god, Elena." Tseng kissed her jaw bone and shifted his weight farther onto her. She watched his hand rub over hers. "I uh…I want to take you out tomorrow. Dr. Humbolt's been assigning me that homework for two and a half months. God, I'd love to see the notes she's taken on me these past few months. She has to be thinking to herself 'god he's fucked up from being tortured and from being secretly in love. This guy's got issues beyond issues."

"You know, Tseng. There's still gonna' be rough days. There's still gonna' be nights where…where we'll be pacing the floor." Tseng stopped her.

"You're right but…you have me…you have me to…you know to…to take care of you." Of all the things that had been said tonight, that was perhaps the bravest. Elena wiggled around and looked at him, intertwining her fingers with his.

"You said…you wanted to take me out and that…I have you to take care of me. That sounds an awful lot…like…like maybe you want me to be your girlfriend." She said,

"Yes. Yes….so much. Elena…six days before we left for The Northern Crater, there was a wine and cheese tasting in downtown Midgar at The Cellar. I had read about it in the paper. I stewed and stewed and tossed and turned at night wondering how I could ask you to go with me. I didn't sleep for one night….and shit I thought that was…terrible. Had I known….had I known, Elena…what awaited us…had I known…god, I woulda just' asked you to go with me. But instead…I just laid there on the couch the night of the tasting and pictured what it would be like with you."

"You don't have to picture anything anymore. I…" Elena laughed a little. She was embarrassed to tell him this but at this point neither of them had anything else to hide. "…I used to rehearse what it would be like to…introduce you to my father. I always knew he'd…he'd just adore you. He always wanted me to…be with a Shinra man." She smiled. "I know that's really silly but…it's true."

"So, you're gonna' let me take you out tomorrow, right?" Tseng asked.

"Yeah, yeah I will…except…you know that we are nearly two hours from 'out', right?" she reminded him.

"No, no we're not. We'll uh…we'll go to the lake. Yes, we'll go to the lake, build a fire…we'll stay there for a while. Oh, we'll take wine. I forgot that, we'll take wine." Tseng assured her. Elena let go of his hand and rolled over with her back against his chest.

"That sounds awfully sweet." She admitted.

"Consider it part of my list."

"In that case tell me something in the dirty column."

"Get on your back and I'll show you instead." Tseng said pushing her to her back and letting his hands trace her curves.

"But there is no way…" Tseng stopped her.

"I only need my mouth for this one."