Shepard made arrangements to have dinner with Liara alone tonight. Dara agreed to watch the kids for dinner. When Valya heard about it she was very excited. All of the kids get along great. Since Shepard made her peace with Liara at lunch she wants to continue their time together for as long as possible.
Shepard arrives at Liara's office. She pokes her head inside the door just as the asari is getting up from behind her desk. "Hey."
"Oh Goddess Shepard you scared me," says Liara. "What are you doing here?"
Shepard flashes her sly grin. "I couldn't stay away."
Liara furrows her brow.
Shepard steps into the office. "Dara and Valya have the kids tonight. I wanted to have you all to myself."
Liara closes her drawer and locks it then moves toward Shepard. "Really?"
"Umm hmm," says Shepard as she places her hands on Liara's hips. She pulls her closer.
Liara leans in and kisses her. Shepard wraps her arms around her as the kiss grows in intensity.
After a minute they break the kiss. "Wow," says Liara as she presses her fingers to her mouth.
Shepard flashes her sly grin once more. "There is more where that came from my dear. You ready for a wonderful dinner?"
"I am."
Hand in hand Shepard and Liara walk along main street on their way to the restaurant. They are oblivious to the world around them. They are happy to be together. The past few days of fighting gone and forgotten. They do not notice the frantic person approaching from behind them until it is too late.
The man slams into Liara. Liara falls into Shepard who is able to steady her. She quickly turns her attention to the man that pushed Liara and is on him before he can get away. There is a crowd forming around them.
"What the hell is your problem?" says Shepard. She has one hand on the man's throat and the other clenched in a fist ready to strike as she crouches over him.
"Shepard stop!" says Liara.
Shepard is wondering why Liara seems so concerned she wasn't actually planning on hitting the man. She just wanted to scare him.
Liara places her hand on Shepard's shoulder and leans down to whisper "It's Jordan Brown."
Shepard looks at the younger human man beneath her. She can see the fear in his eyes. She quickly stands up and offers a hand.
"Jordan?" says Liara.
The man is not sure what to do his eyes are wide and it is like he is frozen.
"Jordan," Liara is more firm.
He looks at the asari. "Dr. T'Soni?"
"Let me help you up," says Shepard.
Jordan sees Shepard's extended hand and takes it to stand up.
"Are you alright?" asks Liara. The man looks distraught.
"You need to watch where you are going you could have hurt someone," says Shepard.
Liara looks at Shepard. Shepard presses her lips together.
Jordan is silent his eyes are darting around as if looking for something.
"Jordan?" ask Liara.
Since he does not reply Liara places her hand on his shoulder, "Jordan?"
"Huh? Oh sorry. Dr. T'Soni. Umm I hope I didn't hurt you I didn't mean to run into you."
"What is going on, are you alright?"
Shepard looks the man up and down. He looks ragged, like he has been running around town with his head cut off.
"Huh…No…not really. Look I am really sorry Dr. T'Soni but I have to go."
Shepard knows something is up. She does not want her evening with her bondmate interrupted but something is going on with this guy and she did say she would help. She takes the man's arm and moves him out of the way of the walking traffic.
"Hey what are you doing?" asks Jordan.
"Calm down," says Shepard. "What's going on?"
Jordan tries to move his arm away from Shepard's grip but can't.
"Let go of me!"
Shepard grips harder and steps close to him "Calm down."
Liara places her hand on the arm Shepard is holding Jordan with. Shepard looks at Liara. She lets go of him.
"Jordan what is going on?" asks Liara.
He looks at Shepard.
"Jordan?"
Shepard sighs, "Dr. T'Soni is talking to you."
"I have to go," Jordan says. He tries to walk away again.
Shepard is not so nice this time. She grabs the guy by the shoulders and forces him to sit down on a nearby bench. "Talk."
"I….I..don't know where to look," he says.
Shepard raises her eye brows at Liara who shrugs in reply.
"Look for what Jordan?" asks Liara.
This time he manages to look at the asari. "Rajanni, she left I don't know where she went. I have to find her. I think she is going to do something extreme."
"Who is Rajanni?" asks Liara.
"My girlfriend. She is an asari."
"Why do you think she is going to do something extreme?" asks Shepard.
Jordan just stares at the human woman. He recognizes her but can't seem to think straight at the moment.
"Jordan this is my bondmate Captain Elly Shepard," says Liara. "We want to help you."
"You can call me Shepard."
"Umm."
Liara asks, "There is obviously something going on Jordan let us help you. What is going on with Rajanni?"
"When I came home after classes tonight she was gone," says Jordan.
"Is that unusual?" asks Shepard. She wonders what the big deal is.
"It is yes. She never leaves the house," says Jordan.
They wait for an explanation.
Jordan looks at them. "Her parents were killed in the war and she hasn't been the same since. She is very depressed and never leaves the house. She left this," he shows them a data pad. It is a note from her:
Jordan,
Words cannot express how sorry I am that I have ruined your life. I love you which is why I must go. I cannot stand to watch you suffer because of me. I no longer think I am capable of feeling and you should not be plagued like I am. I do not want to hurt you any longer. I am sorry that I am not strong enough to move on. Be well Jordan. Forget about me and please be happy. I love you.
Raja
Liara and Shepard read the data pad.
Shepard is the first to speak, "Where would she go?"
"I don't know that's just it. We moved here like two months ago. She doesn't know anyone here."
"Are you sure about that Jordan?" asks Liara.
"I am sure."
"Where would she go?" asks Shepard again.
"I don't KNOW!"
Shepard wants to yell back at the man but doesn't.
"Jordan," says Liara. Her tone is a calm one. "Try to think. Has she ever lived here before?"
"Uhh yeah when she was little, but only for ten years. I am telling you she doesn't know anyone here. She spends every day at home in bed."
"Do you have a picture of her?" asks Shepard.
"What?" asks Jordan.
"A picture."
"Y..yeah. He opens his omni-tool and shows her a picture.
"Send it to me," says Shepard.
Jordan punches a few buttons, the picture is sent to both Shepard's and Liara's omni-tool.
"What are you thinking Shepard?" asks Liara.
"If Rajanni is actually leaving I will head to the docking bay to see if she has been seen taking a passenger shuttle off planet," says Shepard.
"What do you mean if she is actually leaving?" asks Jordan.
Shepard doesn't want to let him know that perhaps she meant something else by her note. Such as not physically leaving but leaving this world entirely.
Liara sees what Shepard is thinking.
"Jordan, where have you looked?" asks Liara. She wants to distract him.
"Uhhh I don't know," says Jordan.
Shepard squeezes Liara's shoulder and nods to her as she heads out of earshot to make a call.
"Did you check any hotels by chance? Did you show her picture around?" asks Liara.
Jordan could just kick himself. He has been panicked for the last two hours and has no idea what he is doing.
"It's okay Jordan. We will find her," says Liara. She knows she shouldn't say such things but from his state of mind right now he probably won't remember it.
Rajanni feels like she is starting to slowly lose her sanity. She has felt this way ever since she woke in the hospital and was finally released two years ago. She was hoping being on Thessia would be like a new start for her, but it hasn't worked out that way. Though she loves Jordan she does not want him to witness her constant torment anymore, so she is going to free him of her.
Rajanni is at the docking bay awaiting a passenger shuttle off planet. She is not even sure where she is going. She bought the first available ticket and has to wait until the shuttle arrives. She is happy that Jordan had to stay at the University longer today. She is hoping she is gone by the time he sees her note. A half smile comes to her face when she thinks of him. How happy he will be once she is gone. He no longer has to worry about her or walk around on egg shells afraid to say the wrong thing. She is convinced it is better this way and that he would be happy without her.
The call for her shuttle comes over the loud speaker and Rajanni gets up from the bench in the waiting room to get in line to board. She sees a shuttle land. The noise it makes hurts her ears. She hears what sounds like gunfire. She covers her ears with her hands and shuts her eyes tight. She can feel her heart pounding wanting to break out. When she opens her eyes her eyes and mouth go wide. There are husks all around her. She screams and huddles into a nearby corner.
"This is Kat what can I do you for?" asks the asari dock worker. The same dock worker that Shepard met when searching for Arelia when Nala kidnapped her.
"Kat?" asks Shepard.
"Yeah this is Kat."
"It's Captain Shepard."
"Hey Shep."
No one calls Shepard Shep at least not an asari she hardly knows but time is of the essence so she lets it go. "I need you to do me a favor."
"Anything," says Kat.
"I am going to send you a photo of an asari; I need to know if you have seen her."
"What's that? I can hardly hear you."
"Shepard punches buttons in her omni-tool and sends the picture of Rajanni. She can hear screaming in the background. "Kat….Kat?"
"You have to speak up something is happening here."
"Check your omni-tool."
Kat hears the word omni. She checks her omni-tool and finds a picture sent by Shepard. She looks at it and sees a picture of an asari. "Got it!"
"What is going on there?" asks Shepard. She raises her voice so Kat can hear her.
"Not sure hang on" Kat moves to the growing crowd. She makes her way through to the front to see an asari huddled in a corner screaming at the top of her lungs. Kat checks the picture Shepard sent and sees it is the same asari. She quickly makes her way through the crowd away from the screaming asari so she can talk to Shepard. "Shepard?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah she is here but she is going nuts," says Kat.
Shepard signals to Liara that she is leaving. Liara stays with Jordan and nods to Shepard in understanding. While running toward the sky car Shepard asks "What do you mean nuts?"
"You hear that screaming?"
"Yeah."
"Well that is her. I don't know what is going on but she is huddled in a corner screaming her head off."
"I am on my way," says Shepard. She enters the sky car. She makes a call to Liara and heads for the docking bay.
"Shepard what is going on?" asks Liara.
"Rajanni is at the docking bay," says Shepard. She leaves out the part of her screaming.
"Okay. I will inform Jordan and we will meet you there," says Liara.
When Shepard arrives at the docking bay she finds a large crowd. She suspects they are looking at Rajanni. She starts to move toward the crowd when she sees asari commandos and Arelia.
"Arelia?" says Shepard.
"Shepard hi," says Arelia. She turns her attention to another asari. "Is it ready?"
Shepard furrows her brow. "What's going on?"
"Not sure. There is an asari who is having some type of episode and we are going to sedate her," says Arelia.
"Can you hold off?"
"What? Why?"
"Let me talk to her. Her boyfriend is a student of Liara's. I have an idea of what is going on. Let me try to talk to her."
"Shepard we have tried talking to her. She won't let anyone get near her. When they do she just screams. We need to get her some help," says Arelia.
"I know. Please Arelia. Let me try. Hold off on sedating her….please."
Arelia thinks for a minute. She turns to the asari commando she was speaking to before. "Be ready to use that." She turns her attention to Shepard. "You have ten minutes. We need to get her out of here before she harms someone. We will stand down, but if she is further agitated we will shoot her with a sedative."
"Okay," says Shepard. "The boyfriend is on his way. His name is Jordan Brown and Liara will be with him."
Arelia speaks into her omni-tool. "Listen up. Captain Shepard of the Alliance is going to try to talk to the asari. Keep your eyes peeled for any signs of retaliation. We will sedate only on my command. And keep that crowd back."
Arelia nods to Shepard.
"Thanks," says Shepard.
Shepard makes her way through the crowd. People part for her when they see her. When she reaches the front of the crowd she sees a terrified asari huddled into a corner. Her hands are over her ears. Eyes are shut tight and she is rocking back and forth. Shepard can see there is a puddle under her.
Shepard slowly approaches. Her hands are up with palms facing out. "Rajanni?" says Shepard, her voice is soft.
The asari does not respond she just continues to rock.
Shepard closes the gap. She kneels down in front of Rajanni. She is a few feet away from her. "Rajanni?"
The asari stops her rocking. Her eyes open and she quickly blinks as they adjust to the light. She looks at Shepard but says nothing.
"Hey there," says Shepard.
Rajanni's eyes dart around frantically. Her hands slowly move down from her ears where she was blocking out as much sound as she could. Suddenly her eyes go wide and she grabs Shepard's forearm and pulls her close. "You have to be quiet," she whispers.
Shepard is sitting next to her against the wall. She signals to Arelia and the watchful asari commandos that she is okay.
"We have to be quiet," Rajanni says again.
Shepard knows she is not with her in the here and now.
Rajanni resumes her rocking her hands return over her ears.
Shepard hugs her legs close to her body. "What's out there?" she finally asks in a whisper.
Rajanni moves her hands from her ears once more. "Shhh. Husks," she whispers.
Shepard looks out at the crowd and sees Liara and Jordan talking to Arelia.
Not sure if she should touch her Shepard says, "Rajanni?"
No reply.
"Rajanni?" This time Shepard does touch her. She places her hand on the asari's shoulder.
Rajanni jumps and looks at the human. Her eyes are darting around. She looks down and sees the puddle, a look of shame crosses her face.
"Hey it's okay. You are safe here Rajanni," says Shepard.
Rajanni's eyes look toward the crowd. Her eyes go wide when she sees the asari commandos.
"Hey…hey. Don't worry about them Rajanni. They are not going to hurt you."
"Wh….where am I?" asks Rajanni.
"You are at the Thessia docking bay."
Recognition crosses the asari's face.
"Who…who are you?" asks Rajanni.
"My name is Captain Elly Shepard."
"How do you know my name?"
"I met your boyfriend Jordan. He is very concerned about you," says Shepard.
Rajanni tears up, "He is better off without me."
"He doesn't agree with that Rajanni."
"What would you know about it?"
Shepard feels the tension, the sadness. "I just know."
Rajanni looks at the human closely. "Shepard?"
Shepard gives a soft smile and nods.
"THE Shepard?"
"Yes."
Rajanni starts to rock back and forth again hugging her legs close.
"Hey..hey stay with me now," says Shepard.
"My parents," Rajanni says. It is hardly above a whisper.
"What about them?"
"My father...he said hide no matter what hide. So I did."
"That's good."
Rajanni's chin is on her knees as she continues her rocking. "How can you say that?"
"They wanted you to live Rajanni. They wanted you safe."
Rajanni just shakes her head back and forth.
"I know what it's like ya know," says Shepard. "To wonder why you survived when others didn't." Her thoughts turn to Mordin, Thane, Kaidan and Anderson among others. "But we have to live on. That is what life is all about. Fair or not the world moves on."
Rajanni says nothing.
"I know what it's like to want to hide away and never be bothered again, to want to just fall away and disappear. It seems like it would be so easy. The pain would stop and it would be okay."
Rajanni looks at her. "That's what I want."
"I know. But Jordan loves you Rajanni. He wants to help…"
"…he can't help me. No one can."
"I used to believe that too. But you can get help. You can learn to live again Rajanni. You can learn what it's like to want to live again."
Rajanni narrowers her eyes.
"I know it's hard to believe that right now, but believe me when I tell you I went through the same thing," says Shepard.
"You…you fired the weapon that killed them right?"
"That's right."
Something changes in Rajanni's demeanor. "You weren't fast enough."
Shepard does not react. It's like being hit in the gut hard her breath leaving her. She swallows and says nothing.
"My parents are dead because of you. You weren't fast enough. If you had fired that weapon sooner they would be alive right now." Rajanni is becoming agitated.
Shepard does not break eye contact. "I am sorry Rajanni." She gets the sentence out before her voice cracks.
"Sorry!"
Shepard can see Liara tense out of the corner of her eye.
"That is NOT good enough!" With her fear and sorrow forgotten Rajanni readies her biotics. Shepard can see the blue swirl forming around the asari's hand.
Shepard places her hand on the asari's shoulder hoping to dissuade her. She does not want an asari commando to sedate her. "Rajanni."
"Get. Your. Hand. OFF of me!" Rajanni stands though not gracefully. She raises her hand where the blue swirl is circling.
"Shepard!" it's Liara.
Shepard just sits there and watches Rajanni standing over her. She knows she won't be hurt because out of the corner of her eye she sees an asari commando aiming her weapon. Rajanni doesn't get the chance to attack. Instead she slumps over. She is sedated.
Liara runs toward Shepard. "Are you alright?" Liara extends a hand.
Shepard swallows again. She looks up at Liara and sees her extended hand. She takes it and stands. She doesn't make eye contact with her bondmate.
Almost in a whisper, "Are you alright Elly?"
Jordan is holding the unconscious asari's hand while the commandos place her on a stretcher.
"Where are you taking her?" asks Jordan.
Arelia says "Thessia medical." She nods to Shepard. She leaves to accompany the commandos as they bring Rajanni to the waiting ambulance.
Liara looks at Shepard. The human looks like she has seen a ghost.
"Elly are you alright?"
Shepard feels an arm around her waist. She is snapped out of her dark thoughts. She sees Liara and manages a small smile. "Can you take me home?"
"Of course," says Liara.
Shepard doesn't say anything on the way home. Liara is concerned. She calls Dara and Valya to ask if they would keep the kids overnight. They were overjoyed. Liara tried to ask questions of Shepard during the ride but Shepard did not answer. From Liara's vantage point at the docking bay she could not really hear what Shepard and Rajanni where saying to each other. She saw the scared asari turn from panic to calm to anger all in the course of their conversation. Now Shepard is much too calm. Liara knows something was said to her and wonders what it was.
The sky car lands. "We are home," says Liara. "Dara and Valya are keeping the kids overnight."
Shepard doesn't seem to hear. She doesn't respond.
Liara gets out of the sky car. She starts walking toward the house when she realizes that Shepard has not gotten out of the car yet. She returns and opens the passenger door. Shepard is staring straight ahead.
"Elly?" Liara places a hand on her leg.
Shepard jumps a little.
"Elly we are home."
Shepard looks around. It takes a few seconds to recognize her surroundings. She gets out of the sky car.
"Elly will you please talk to me?" asks Liara.
Shepard takes the asari's hand into her own and kisses the blue palm. "I need to take a walk Liara."
Liara knows that sometimes Shepard needs to be alone. Obviously Rajanni said something to her to cause this somber mood in her bondmate.
"Please Elly don't shut me out. What happened?"
Shepard takes in a deep breath and lets it out. "I just need to walk."
"Let me come with you."
As if not hearing her request, Shepard says "I won't be long." She walks away.
Liara decides to follow her but she remains at a distance. She does not want Shepard to be alone.
It doesn't take long. About five minutes into the walk Shepard falls to her knees and lets out a gut-wrenching scream. A scream Liara has not heard from her bondmate in a very long time.
Shepard curls into herself falling onto her side and starts to sob.
Liara moves to her quickly and without saying anything she curls up to her from behind. "I'm here," she says "I've got you."
